Nether: Hidden Book Five

by Colleen Vanderlinden

  I wrinkled my forehead. He knew damn well more than that. I flipped to the next document, which was several pages of reports about people I'd saved, including eyewitness accounts of my actions. Things everyone could have seen. The next thing was a memo from Ross, filing an official complaint about Brennan's lack of forthcoming when it came to sharing information about me, especially since it was noted by several people that he and I were romantically involved. The next thing was a memo from Brennan, indicating that while he very well might be sharing my bed, I was no more forthcoming with him than anyone else, that I was insanely private and kept him and everyone else at arm's distance. He also noted that he had asked if anyone else wanted to take over his duties, and no one had volunteered.

  The next thing was his report indicating that he'd outed himself to me, and my response. To sum it up: I was not happy. He also indicated that he was fine continuing in his role watching me as the person in the department closest to me.

  I flipped it over. "Where's the rest of it?" I asked Jamie.

  "That's it," she said, stapling the pages she'd printed out.

  "Oh, come on. There's nothing in here about me and the immortals, or about me resurrecting, or self-healing, or any of that. None of the big stuff is in there. He knew what my childhood was like, and he left that part blank."

  She just gave me a look. "Well, duh."

  "What do you mean?"

  "What do you think?" She lowered her voice. "He left shit out, obviously. Don't you know he has this job as much to protect you as anything else? That the only thing that allows him to put up with Ross's bullshit day in and day out is the knowledge that he's the only thing standing between you and some overzealous asshole who wants to know every single secret you've ever had?" She looked around on her desk. "You see your file, right? Here's Esmerelda the witch's file." She plunked a thick file down on the desktop. "You can't look in there, though."

  "Okay. Uh. Esmerelda doesn't do anything," I said.

  "I know. Her case worker is very, very thorough. Everyone other than Ross just pretty much accepted that you keep to yourself and everyone's afraid enough of you to know better than to push it. Nain's file is about five times as thick as Esmeralda's, mostly because until the time when Brennan came in, he had other case workers gathering info on him. There was a file on Ada and Stone. Those have mysteriously disappeared, and no one seems to know that Shanti exists. I wonder why that is," she finished, raising an eyebrow at me.

  I just looked at the thin file in my hand. "Why isn't this on the computer?" I asked dumbly, trying to work it all out.

  She laughed. "The idea of some asshole hacking us and finding all of this out and scaring the hell out of everyone is too big of a risk. So paper files, and we lock them up. Brennan has access, and since I'm his assistant, I have access. Other than him, there are five other people with access to the files in this department."

  "This is really all he reported?" I asked quietly.

  "Of course." It seemed to hit her, and her voice took on a tone of disbelief. "You really thought he was telling them everything." I gave a short nod in response. "He said he told you he didn't."

  "I didn't believe him. He hasn't exactly been honest with me about things," I said defensively.

  "He protects his friends, Molly. He's reported the bare minimum on everyone on the team as long as he's had this detail. Just enough to be able to keep his job, not enough to make a damn bit of difference. As far as anyone knows, my father and I are nothing more than Normals."

  I didn't know how to respond. "Why wasn't he straight with me, if this was all he was doing?"

  "Maybe he expected you to believe in him enough to trust him," she said. "And if he wanted to keep his job, and do what he was doing, he couldn't exactly blab about how he was handling his business, right? You had to look clueless or people would have suspected he'd told you. He was supposed to be undercover," she reminded me. "He was walking a fine line, I think."

  I tossed the file back onto Brennan's desk. "He shouldn't have lied to me," I said to no one in particular.

  "Would it have changed anything?" a voice I knew all too well said behind me. I'd been so absorbed in taking it all in that I hadn't felt Brennan's presence nearby. "Can you excuse us, Jamie?" he asked, and Jamie nodded and waved at me. Brennan sat on the edge of his desk, facing me. "Would it?" he asked again. I glanced up, then averted my gaze. It still hurt, sometimes, just to look at him. To see those eyes that had taken my breath away. To smell him. I had everything I wanted. Nain was my one and only, and there was no conflict in my heart about that. But it didn't change the fact, that, once upon a time, I'd loved this man and planned for a future with him. It didn't change the fact that I could still remember what it had felt like in his arms. That when he spoke, sometimes, I was reminded of promises whispered against my lips.

  Loving Nain didn't erase Brennan from my memories. Sometimes, I wished it did. And times like this, when he was close to me, when we were alone and he was studying me in that way that made me feel like he was taking in every single detail… times like this just made me remember things that were best left in the past.

  We'd burned too many bridges, and neither one of us were the same.

  "You lied," I finally said.

  "I was doing my job. And I was protecting you and everyone else I care about." He was silent for a bit, and I could feel his gaze on me, that sad longing that, though weaker, was still there when he looked at me. "When I left to do my training for this job, I did it thinking there had to be something more to life than just beating up vampires and werewolves all the time. I thought this would give me that. And it did, but not until I realized that the best use of my time was protecting those who protect everyone else. When you came into my life, it became even more important." He took a deep breath, raked his fingers through his hair. "I wanted to tell you, Molly. We've been over this."

  "I know." I took a breath. "Why didn't you tell me you could only bond once?"

  He didn't answer right away, but I could feel his gaze on me. "Who told you that?" he finally asked.

  "Artemis."

  "It doesn't matter. It's done now, and it was the right thing to do."

  "You should have told me."

  "Would it have changed anything?" he repeated.

  I didn't answer. It still hurt, remembering Artemis's words, her anger when she told me he'd never have the life he should have had, that loving me had cost him that. As angry as I was with him, I wanted him to be happy.

  After a few long, awkward seconds of silence, he spoke up. "To answer my own question, it wouldn't have changed anything between us, because I am not Nain."

  I glanced at the folder again. "Is what happened on Thanksgiving causing trouble for you here?"

  He shrugged. "Nice change of subject. Not really. I'm getting a lot of sidelong glances from some of the lower-rung agents, but everyone I've been working with since I've been here, other than Ross, has been cool about it. Agents aren't inclined to believe the words of some asshole in a gold suit who shows up out of nowhere and starts talking shit about someone they've seen in action for years."

  "You guys weren't really his audience. He wanted to scare the Normals. And he did it."

  He grimaced.

  "Right?" I pressed.

  He nodded. "Yeah. We're getting a lot of calls from angry, scared Normals."

  "Do they want me hunted down?" I asked with a smile.

  "That wouldn't end well," he said, giving me a small grin in return. "Mostly, they don't know what they want. They mostly seem to want to tell us they're scared and they're pissed off about being scared." He shrugged. "Honestly, it's mostly bitching."

  "Ross must love that," I said, and Brennan rolled his eyes.

  "It's taking every bit of discipline I have not to knock him out," he said. "Petersen gave the order, by the way. I'm director now, officially. I've been trying to get hold of Petersen to ask if I can transfer Ross's ass out of the department, but I haven'
t seen him since then, and his secretary says he hasn't checked in. He could be out on a mission or something, though. Wouldn't be the first time."

  "Well, congrats. You're going to be a lot better at it than he was. And as far as the complaints, I'm—"

  "If you apologize to me, I'm going to be pissed," he warned, though the trace of a smile on his face belied his words. "They can complain all they want."

  "Fine."

  "Fine," he said back, and I laughed.

  "All right. Any other secrets you want to spill?"

  His expression tensed, for just a second, and then he shook his head.

  "Okay. See you at home. It's your turn to babysit tonight, by the way," I added.

  "Great," he grumbled, and I focused on rematerializing.

  I spent the afternoon both trying to avoid the Normals, not wanting a confrontation, and trying to find Nether. And hoping I ran across Hyperion.

  I wanted to hurt him so bad I could taste it. When I saw him again, I would destroy him, I promised myself. I would find a way.

  Shortly after sunset, I gave up and headed toward home, looking forward to my husband, my daughter, and several cups of hot coffee.

  Most of my time over the next week or so was spent looking for Hyperion. Nether was keeping a low profile, which wasn't something I wanted to think about too much. When I wasn't working, I was with Nain. And I was trying, really really hard, to figure out the whole parenting thing with Zoe.

  I flew toward home after another day of fruitlessly searching for my enemies, and I let my thoughts wander, which, lately, wasn't really such a good thing.

  As much as I adored Zoe, she was a pain in the ass.

  And I'm probably shit, because parents aren't even supposed to think that sort of thing about their kids. Right? Nain agreed that she was a pain in the ass, and then said that Brennan and Stone and every kid he'd ever taken in was a pain in the ass, too.

  But this is Nain we're talking about. Sweet and warm are not his forte, unless he's in the right mood and he's alone with me. And even though he was against it, even though demons don't really do "sweet," it was obvious to everyone that he absolutely doted on Zoe. He was turning more often to Brennan, asking him about baby stuff since Bren had experience with Sean, and that seemed to be smoothing out the weirdness that had lingered between the two of them. Watching an enormous, three-hundred-year-old demon and an alpha shifter discussing diaper brands is one of those things I never thought I'd see.

  Lately, Nain, E, Brennan, and my parents were spending more time with Zoe than I did.

  It felt like I should have been able to handle more of it myself. Especially on those days when my searches for Hyperion went nowhere, and the most I managed was beating up the errant vampire or two. The days I managed to find lost girls were a highlight, though, to be honest, Shanti and the vampires had slipped into that role seamlessly. I spent most of the time when I was out trying not to be noticed, not wanting to deal with either my fans or my detractors. There were many, many of the latter. I was hoping that keeping a low profile would calm them all down eventually.

  I felt… weird. Just weird. I was happy with my family, still madly in love with Nain. But I felt wrong, somehow. Restless. And it was starting to feel, more and more, like I didn't quite fit in anywhere.

  Which was kind of hilarious, since the world had gone insane mostly because of me and what I am. But the fact of the matter was that I felt like an asshole beating on vamps and shifters. It was like a professional boxer challenging a two-year-old to a fight. I didn't even get any satisfaction out of it anymore. I mean, I liked that I hurt beings who deserved it. But I was overkill, and thanks to the way we'd managed to organize not just our team, but also the vamps and the shifters, I'd kind of ended up making myself unnecessary for most things. That should have been an awesome thing, and I should have been looking forward to grabbing Nain and Zoe and all of us going on a long vacation after this Nether mess was over, but that's not me. I need to be of use.

  I shook my head, forced my thoughts away from the somewhat depressing path they were heading down. Instead, I focused on the city, on the way the streetlights and porch lights in the neighborhoods below sparkled in the night. I looked forward to falling into bed with my mate. When the house we were renting came into sight, I was relieved. It wasn't as nice as coming home to the loft, but all of my favorite people were there, and that was all that really mattered.

  When I landed in the backyard, I could feel an array of power signatures nearby. My family. Nain. Shanti. Brennan. Heph and Meaghan. E.

  My stomach dropped in dread. If they were all here, something was seriously wrong. I picked up my pace and pulled the back door open, then raced up the stairs to our apartment. I could have rematerialized, sure. But if something was really, really wrong, I almost didn't want to know.

  "Please, nobody else be dead," I muttered as I pulled the door open.

  "Surprise!"

  My ears echoed with the shouts, and then laughs as the assembled supernaturals in my living room took in my response. I looked around. Balloons, streamers. Cyndi Lauper was playing on the stereo.

  "What the hell are you all doing?"

  "Happy birthday, devil girl," E said, smiling at me.

  "Uh. It's not my birthday, though. My birthday isn't until January."

  "Wrong," my dad said, crossing his arms. "That's what the state had on your paperwork. Your mother knows better."

  I transferred my gaze to my mother, who was standing there smiling at me. I looked around again and shook my head a little, a lump rising in my throat.

  "You are such a bunch of assholes," I said, trying to talk around the fact that I was about to start weeping like an idiot. They laughed, and I walked toward E and took Zoe (who was screaming like a little banshee) out of her arms. "Shh. Shh, munchkin," I soothed, bouncing her just a little. Awkward. That was me in every single way, but she didn't seem to mind my awkwardness too much. After a few moments, she quieted, and I smiled down at her.

  Nain came up to us, put his hand on my lower back, and I warmed at his touch.

  "Happy birthday, Molly," he murmured close to my ear. He held a box out, and my mom took Zoe out of my arms so I could open it.

  I tore the ribbon off and opened the black velvet box. It was the kind jewelry comes in, and this one held, other than my wedding band, the most precious piece of jewelry I'd ever seen. I could feel power in it. I peered up at Nain, then back down at the ring.

  It was made of silver, inlaid with a second band that was decorated with thorns and vines set in a deep gemstone, which I realized after a moment was hematite, like our wedding bands. I could see Heph's craftsmanship in it, the fine detail, the precision no human hand or machine could ever master.

  "It's… wow," I said softly.

  Nain picked it up out of the box and took my right hand in his. He placed the ring on my ring finger. "It's not just decorative," he said.

  "I can feel power," I said, and he nodded.

  "Twist the ring," he told me. Then he looked at Heph. "If this doesn't work, I want my money back."

  "You didn't pay me anything, demon," Heph reminded him. "I did it out of the goodness of my heart, and of course it'll work."

  Meaghan laughed a little and leaned her head on Heph's bicep. I could feel his happiness, and it made me smile. If anyone deserved that much happiness, it was him.

  I looked up at Nain, then spun the upper band of the ring as he'd instructed.

  And, as if a switch had been flipped, I could no longer see my hand. I looked at my body. Couldn't see that either. My friends and family cheered.

  "No. Way," I breathed.

  "Same idea as Hades' helmet," Heph said, obviously pleased with himself. "Just less obnoxious and attention-seeking,"

  "Watch it, blacksmith," my dad muttered, and the group laughed.

  "Turn it again, and it'll reverse," Heph instructed, and I did it, watching my hand blink back into sight.

  "This was y
our idea?" I asked Nain, and he nodded.

  "I know the press bullshit, and now, even more, the way the Normals are, drives you nuts. All the assholes with their phones. Maybe this'll help."

  I stood on tiptoe and pressed a kiss to his lips. "Thank you so much, husband," I said softly against his mouth.

  He kissed me back, then wrapped me in his arms, where I stood happily for as long as I could before I had to turn my attention to someone else. I opened gifts from everyone. Heph and Meaghan had brought me a bunch of Meaghan's handmade candles and Heph had crafted a new knife for me.

  "Gorgeous," I murmured.

  "Give her a weapon, she's happy," Shanti joked and I laughed. Shanti (and Zero, who was still adjusting to his turning and had stayed home with the vampires) had given me a bunch of comic-book-related t-shirts and trade paperbacks of comics I'd missed. E gave me a pretty blue vintage McCoy planter, and seemed nervous, then pleased that I liked it so much. Brennan gave me a vintage Wonder Woman lunch box, and I thanked him. It was his thing, with me. Wonder Woman. I swallowed a little, gave him a quick hug in thanks.

  The final gift came from my parents. My dad handed me another small box that contained a delicate black metal chain. I wasn't sure what it was made from, but guessed it was something from the Nether. On the chain hung a tiny, delicate pair of black wings that looked a lot like mine. I glanced at Heph, again recognizing his work.

  "They all kept you busy, huh?" I asked.

  "It was a pleasure, Queenie," he said, obviously pleased that I had recognized his craftsmanship.

  I looked up at my mom questioningly.

  "I know how you despise your wings," she said. "How you wish you didn't have them."

  I didn't deny it. They were a pain in the ass. I wished on an almost daily basis that I didn't have them. The only benefit to them was that they made travel convenient. That, and my husband is turned on by them and knows how to touch them in just the right way when he wants to drive me insane.

  "No one in existence has wings like that, other than your family, my love. Remember, even though it took us forever to find you, that you are eternally, and always have been, one of us. That you are loved beyond reckoning. That, if we could have, we would have moved Earth and the heavens themselves to protect you."