Sea of Lost Love

by Santa Montefiore

  “But he’s made vows of chastity. He can’t break them,” said Lotty. “That must be very hard on a man. After all, even he said he has weaknesses like the rest of us.”

  “Shame. He’s attractive, isn’t he?” said Celestria, sighing heavily.

  “You don’t really fancy him,” said Melissa.

  “She just likes the challenge,” Lotty added with a giggle. “There’s no greater challenge than to win the heart of a priest.”

  “That would be very cruel,” said Melissa seriously. “I hope you wouldn’t be so irresponsible, Celestria.” Both sisters knew that if anyone had the power to do it, Celestria did.

  “Well, if I don’t get swept off my feet really soon, I just might have to give it a try, out of boredom. Nothing much else happens around here.”

  A voice called out from the top of the path that snaked its way down the rocks from the house. They raised their eyes to see Monty, followed by Wilfrid, Sam, and Harry. Purdy bounded down in front of them, wagging his tail excitedly. Purdy loved the beach; it meant games. This afternoon it meant boating, which he adored. The girls stood up and, shielding their eyes from the sun, watched the small group approach.

  Monty greeted his daughter with a big smile. “What are you three witches plotting?” He laughed, kissing her hot cheek.

  “Terrible things,” replied Celestria, grinning at her cousins.

  “Do you want to join us?” he asked. Although there wasn’t enough room in the boat for all of them, Monty liked to please everyone.

  “Can’t think of anything worse,” said Celestria, looking at the boat lying forlornly on the dunes. It was a small red motorboat, her father’s passion. He called it Princess, and both wife and daughter believed it to be named after her.

  “You’d love it if you gave it a try. Little better than sitting in the middle of the ocean with nothing to see but sky and water.”

  “We’re going fishing,” said Harry, proudly showing off his rod. Monty held a bucket of live bait and the rest of the nets and rods.

  Celestria peered inside the bucket and recoiled. “Don’t bring those ghastly creatures near me. I’m staying here on dry land, which is where I’m happiest!”

  “Come on, boys!” Monty announced heartily. “Let’s get going. We don’t want to keep the pirates waiting.”

  Monty put the rods, bucket, and nets in the boat, then, with the help of the entire group, dragged it down the beach to the sea. As the girls waved, the motor spluttered and gurgled until it finally choked into a rhythmic chug, cutting through the waves to carry Monty, the boys, and a very keen Purdy off into the dark blue sea.

  It wasn’t long before they were dots on the horizon.

  “I don’t like the sea,” said Celestria suddenly. “It makes me feel nervous.”

  “Don’t be silly,” said Lotty. “Nothing much can go wrong. Uncle Monty’s an expert.”

  “That makes no difference,” she replied gravely. “The sea’s bigger than the biggest expert. One gulp and they’re gone.”

  Monty watched his daughter from the boat. Her slim, elegant shape reminded him of Pamela when she was young. They stood in the same way: thrusting their weight onto one leg, one hand confidently placed on the waist, emphasizing the feminine curve of the hip to its best advantage. They were very alike, although Celestria wasn’t so hard. She was soft, like clay ready to be molded, and the hand that styled her would decide her final texture. It wouldn’t be his hand. It never had been. He had spent too much time abroad, trying to keep all the balls in the air, trying to be everything to everyone, spreading himself so thin that sometimes, in the silence of his dreams, he was no longer sure who he really was. But now wasn’t the time to indulge in sentiment. He had three excited boys in his boat and a sea full of fish and crabs to catch. He watched until Celestria had blended into the sand, and for a moment his heart, once so carefully contained, swelled with regret. But things were now out of his control. He was no longer a free man. It was time to reap what he had sown. His gaze fell onto the water, and he was momentarily hypnotized by the murky green depths below him.

  The highlight of the holiday for Celestria was her uncle Archie’s birthday party at the end of August. Julia always threw a ball in the garden and invited their friends from far and wide to dance the night away in a glorious tent she’d decorate with flowers from her own borders and greenhouses. This year was even more special because it was his fiftieth.

  Celestria longed for the party. She was bored by the countryside and yearned to return to the city. She didn’t like to play tennis. The enjoyment of showing off her long legs in shorts passed quickly, and she was left with the tedium of the game. She had grown weary of sitting on the terrace with her aunts and cousins, listening to their repetitive gossip. She had spent many a morning down on the beach with Bouncy. Nanny had been grateful for the company. Celestria watched the little boy build sandcastles and play with his digger in the sand, and she understood why her mother loved Harry so much; little boys broke hearts. Later she’d learn that when they grow to be men, they break them all over again.

  It was the end of the summer. Archie’s ball was only a week away. Celestria had taken to spending the evenings reading in the little secret garden that was known as Penelope’s, for when her aunt was a baby, Nanny had always put her pram there for her afternoon rest. Lying directly beneath the library window, she was suddenly drawn out of Frenchman’s Creek by the sound of her father’s voice. He was talking to Julia, who sounded as if she was crying.

  “He’s in terrible trouble. Oh, I do hate to burden you with it all, dear Monty, but I didn’t know whom to turn to.”

  “I’m glad you felt you could come to me.”

  “You’re such a good man.” She emphasized the word good so that it weighed heavily with all sorts of connotations. Celestria knew she was thinking of her mother.

  “How much trouble is he in?”

  Julia sighed heavily. Celestria leaned back against the wall like a spy and dared to peek in through the window. Her father had lit a cigar and was standing against the far windowsill on the other side of the room. His voice, firm and confident, seemed to soothe Julia’s anxiety.

  “Well, the farm was doing very well,” she continued with a sniff. “But you know Archie, he’s always had one eye on the City. He felt it wasn’t wise to have all his eggs in one basket, so he decided to put some of them into equities.”

  Monty nodded gravely.

  “He made some bad investments. Then he bought some of Tom Pritchett’s land, adjacent to ours, in order to expand the farm. He borrowed money, and now, well, he’s having trouble paying it all back. I think the interest is high and what with taxation.” She sank onto the sofa and began to cry again.

  Celestria was aghast. It was horrid to see Julia, usually so cheerful, now crumpling with despair. She’d had no idea her aunt and uncle were strapped for cash. Well, she thought, Papa will put it all right. He’s got pots of money.

  Monty crossed the room and sat down beside Julia. “Don’t worry, Julia, old girl,” he said, smiling. “I’ll sort it all out for you. First, let me pay for Archie’s party. I know how much these things cost. It would be a pleasure, but must also be our secret. I’d hate Archie to know. He’s a proud man.”

  “I’ll pay it all back…”

  “Consider it a gift. After all, you entertain me and my family here at Pendrift every summer; it’s the very least we can do.” Julia sat up and took a deep breath, dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief.

  “Thank you, Monty. I knew I could rely on you. You’re always there, a wonderful knight in shining armor. What would we do without you? You’re a real brick.”

  “You’re a splendid woman, Julia. A terrific wife and mother. I’m glad you felt you could ask.”

  “I know Archie would hate me to sneak about behind his back. But I’m desperate. I can’t stand to see him so burdened. It depresses him, weighs him down as if he’s carrying this heavy backpack all the time, full of
unpleasant worries.” She smiled affectionately as she reminisced. “He was very different when I married him. Of course, when one is young, one believes one is invincible, and he never anticipated inheriting Pendrift until he was an old man. He certainly never realized it would be such a load. We all imagined Ivan would last forever. He might have a ghastly temper at times. I’ve never minded that. It’s the troubled silence that sends alarm bells ringing. I’d far rather he tore the place apart in fury than fumed alone in his study. I can’t reach him there, you see.” She sighed and placed her hand on her brother-in-law’s arm. “I do love him so very much. I just want my old friend back. I know you understand.”

  “I do. More than you know. And I want to do all I can to help.”

  “I won’t ask again, I promise.”

  “You can ask as often as you like. You’re family, and family must stick together.”

  There was a noise from the hall. Julia jumped to her feet and smoothed down her blouse. “Goodness, that’s Nanny with Bouncy. They must be back from the beach.” Before she hurried out she turned. “Our secret,” she repeated, smiling at him gratefully.

  Celestria remained by the window, watching her father. He slouched back into the sofa and crossed one leg over the other. He continued to puff on his cigar, toying with it between his fingers and staring through the thin curl of smoke that wafted into the air. His eyes grew lazy, his thoughts far away, his face unusually solemn. She longed to know what he was thinking. Why he looked so grim. He didn’t look himself at all. Suddenly she felt uncomfortable spying on him like that, eavesdropping and hearing things she was not supposed to. She retreated to her book and soon forgot all about it.

  Instead of reading, she considered Archie’s birthday party. She had two options of dress; one was pale blue silk, which brought out the color of her eyes, and the other dusty pink with a dashing red sash, which emphasized her small waist. The decision was agonizing. After all, Julia had invited the Wilmotte boys, who were all holidaying in Rock, and, if she remembered rightly, Dan Wilmotte was rather debonair.

  3

  Celestria should have noticed that things weren’t as they should be. The repercussions of Archie’s predicament would touch them all in ways she could never have imagined. But she was young and selfish. All she could think about was the party. Her frocks hung in the cupboard like magic cloaks ready to spirit her off to a ballroom glittering with chandeliers and crystal, where men in white tie watched her with admiration, and women with envy. Where music echoed off mirrored walls and champagne bubbled in long-stemmed glasses. She was twenty-one, and she wanted to be in love.

  Julia busied herself with her husband’s birthday party as she did every year, and no one would have guessed that beneath her smile she was strangled with anxiety. A van load of men arrived to put up the tent, and caterers began to appear with boxes of glasses and crockery. Celestria watched them construct her fantasy with great excitement. It wouldn’t be sophisticated like London parties, but she was so starved of distraction that she didn’t mind. There would be plenty of people to admire her, and she would dance the night away with Dan Wilmotte in whichever dress she chose to wear. Finally something would rouse this sleepy crevice of Cornwall into action, and who knows, she might even fall in love. Her mother always said that love came when you least expected it.

  Lotty and Melissa were just as excited as Celestria and faced with the very real concern of finding husbands. With her long auburn hair Lotty was the prettier of the two, but, as Pamela cruelly used to say, “in the kingdom of the blind the one-eyed man is king.” Neither dazzled, poor creatures. Like so many English girls they had oval faces with small chins and watery blue eyes, all inherited from their mother, Penelope. Pamela referred to that type of girl as “egg-faced.” Often the egg face was a sign of aristocratic blood—though not in Lotty and Melissa’s case, of course. Milton had a strong, handsome face with big eyes and a firm, angular jaw, inherited by the fortunate David, who was also tall and athletic. What a pity his daughters hadn’t been so lucky. Pamela was melodramatic and selfish, but at least she had given Celestria a beautiful face.

  Down on the beach, the morning of the dance, Celestria escaped having to help Julia with the flowers. Melissa was too good-hearted to hide out with her, but she had managed to coerce Lotty into joining her. The girls lay on towels in the sunshine, while Bouncy dug a hole with Nanny and the boys played cricket with Purdy. Celestria wore a pair of white shorts and a turquoise shirt, knotted at the breast, that turned her gray eyes blue. Lotty wore white slacks—she didn’t like to show her legs, they were as sturdy as a pony’s—and a sunhat hid her fair and freckled skin.

  “Are you sure we shouldn’t be helping out?” she asked with a frown.

  Celestria stretched lazily. “We’d only get in the way. Too many cooks spoil the broth. Besides, someone has to look out for the boys, as Nanny only has eyes for Bouncy.”

  “Don’t we all? I long for a baby,” added Lotty with a sigh.

  “You have to find a man first, or didn’t Aunt Penelope tell you the facts of life?”

  A small smile crept across Lotty’s face. “You can keep a secret, can’t you?”

  “You know I can,” Celestria replied, propping herself up on her elbow.

  “I haven’t even told Melissa.”

  “Oh, I doubt she’d be able to keep a secret from your mother, and Aunt Penelope’s got a voice like a foghorn.”

  “So I can trust you?”

  “Of course.”

  She paused, then plunged in. “I’m in love, Celestria. Really and truly in love.” Her eyes shone with happiness.

  “Who with? Do I know him?”

  “That’s the problem. He’s not one of us.”

  “Not top drawer?” Celestria was appalled but at the same time intrigued. If he was rich, what did it matter? “New money?”

  “I don’t think he has very much. He’s a pianist.”

  “Francis Browne,” said Celestria jubilantly.

  Lotty looked startled. “How do you know?”

  “He’s your new piano teacher. Mama’s considering getting rid of old Mrs. Gilstone and replacing her with him, which would be a blessing from my point of view. Mrs. Gilstone had bad breath. Your mother says he’s rather good. He’s obviously too good!”

  “He’s talented, sensitive, and kind.” Lotty’s face, lit up by love, looked almost beautiful.

  “Oh dear. I suppose he loves you back?”

  “Yes. He wants to marry me.”

  “You could always elope. That’s very romantic and the kind of thing his sort do all the time, I should imagine.”

  “Mummy and Daddy would die. I couldn’t do it to them.”

  “Well, you can’t have both. Is he handsome?”

  “Very. He’s fair with a long nose and the loveliest brown eyes you ever saw. He calls me ‘Aphrodite.’”

  “I bet he does. Has he kissed you yet?”

  Lotty’s face turned the color of a beetroot. “Yes. Only once. I’m longing to return to London to see him. He can’t even write to me down here. Mummy would find out immediately. She wants me to marry Eddie Richmond.”

  “Because he’s rich and will inherit his father’s estate in Northumberland.”

  “He’s perfectly nice; I just don’t find him attractive.”

  “There’s more to a man than his chin, Lotty,” said Celestria facetiously. Lotty didn’t smile. “He’s got nice eyes. His front teeth stick out a little, but he’s got pots of money. You have a nasty choice to make: love or money?”

  “In that respect there’s no contest. I’d choose love every time. It’s Mummy who’s the problem.”

  “And a very big one, too!”

  “It’s the 1950s. A girl should be able to marry whomever she likes. We’ve come a long way since Emmeline Pankhurst chained herself to the railings.”

  “If you marry Francis Browne, we’ll all have free piano lessons!” Celestria added brightly.

  “Don�
��t be ridiculous, Celestria, we’ll have to charge you double in order to live! Mummy and Daddy will disown me.”

  “Oh, I don’t think so. It could be worse. You could be in love with Father Dalgliesh!”

  Lotty laughed. “Against all my principles, and I hope against all of yours, too!”

  An icy wind blew in off the sea. Celestria shivered. Purple clouds gathered on the horizon, and Nanny pulled out a jersey for Bouncy. He saw her waving it at him and ran off down the beach, headed for the water. His laughter was carried on the wind like the cry of a gull. In front of him the waves had grown large and angry, pounding the sea like great lion paws. He dropped his spade, which Purdy seized with delight, casting aside the cricket ball. Nanny struggled stiffly to her feet and hurried off in pursuit of the increasingly distant figure. Celestria and Lotty watched in horror as Bouncy continued, seemingly deaf to the great lion’s roar. Harry, Wilfrid, and Sam continued their game of cricket, oblivious. Only Purdy dropped the spade and began to bark in alarm.

  The little boy reached the sea and stopped suddenly. Turning to his nanny, he began to cry. Beneath the darkening sky, the waves looked even more menacing. She grabbed his hand and led him away, scolding him fiercely for running off, which made him cry all the more. “You can’t swim,” she was saying when she reached the girls. “The sea is dangerous for little boys like you.”

  “Thank God he’s okay,” hissed Lotty to her cousin. “That frightened the life out of me.”

  “And Nanny. She’s gone green! Look.” Celestria turned to Lotty, suddenly feeling rather chilly. “Don’t make any rash decisions. I can’t imagine it’s much fun being poor. It certainly isn’t romantic. You’ve grown up with money. You’re used to it. You’d have a good life with someone like Eddie Richmond. He’d look after you and make life comfortable. You might even grow to love him over time.”

  Lotty shook her head. “For a selfish creature, you can sound very sensible occasionally.”