The Child Left Behind

by Gracie Hart

  ‘Oh, Victoria, I’m sorry, my darling. We have all tried to protect you for so long and for this to come out in this way … Ma Fletcher never was one for tact, but she’d have meant no harm. She’s just thoughtless.’ Eliza caressed her niece’s arm and sighed.

  ‘Thoughtless is putting it mildly,’ Mary-Anne spoke softly as she opened the door and made her way into the fitting room. ‘I’m sorry, my darling. Ma Fletcher never could hold her tongue. I didn’t mean for you to find out that way. You are everything to me and I never wanted you to be hurt.’ Mary-Anne looked with sorrow in her eyes at Eliza who stepped aside for her to be next to Victoria. She put her arm around Victoria and tried to kiss her.

  Victoria put her head up and anger flashed in her eyes. ‘Don’t touch me! I don’t want you anywhere near me. I can’t bear to think about how I came into the world and was conceived. Did you make him pay for his pleasure? Were you like the common women down on the docks, who everyone despises?’

  ‘No, Victoria, it was not like that. Believe me, it was not by choice that I let Edmund Ellershaw have his way with me. If I’d not done as he’d bade, Eliza and I would have been out on the streets, he owned everything we had. Our mother had just died, our stepfather had left us and neither of us had any money to feed ourselves or keep him from throwing us out of the rented cottage that he owned. I was so desperate I couldn’t think of any other way than to do what he wanted. It was only the once. He was such a brute that I knew I’d rather see both Eliza and myself on the streets than suffer more humiliation in his hands. The one good thing that came out of that night was you, although I’ll be honest – when I was carrying you, I didn’t think so. But I am so proud of you, you are such a little lady, thanks to Eliza here, and Grace Ellershaw.’ Mary-Anne smiled at her sister and watched as Victoria tried to control her sobbing. ‘I’ll give Grace her due, she is nothing like her father, so she must take after her mother. Which I hope that you do. You are loved by us all, Victoria, your father is not worth dwelling on, but I’m sorry that you were told in the way you were.’ Mary-Anne felt her heart ache for Victoria.

  ‘So he forced himself upon you? You did it to keep Aunt Eliza and you safe and together?’ Victoria said.

  ‘Yes, perhaps I shouldn’t have done. But I could see no other way out of our predicament. And as you know, I left you after you were born with Eliza because John wanted us to get settled before you joined us in America. But that never happened and the years went by and Eliza and you had a good life here, and Grace Ellershaw was doing what her father should have done for you both. So I knew you were being looked after and that was all that mattered to me. Who your father was, you were better off not knowing.’

  Eliza looked at her heartbroken niece. ‘Victoria, I owe a lot to Mary-Anne. She was always there for me when I was growing up, and she put herself at the mercy of Edmund Ellershaw just so that I was protected. It is true you were not made out of love, but you brought love with your arrival into the world and your father is best forgotten. He is not worth the worry.’ Eliza crouched down and kissed Victoria on her cheek. ‘You are still young. When you’re old enough I am sure a gentleman will swipe you off your feet,’ Eliza smiled. ‘Your mother and I love you and always will.’

  Victoria wiped her eyes. ‘I just don’t know what to think. It came as such a shock. I’ve met Edmund Ellershaw when I’ve been out with George. He’s a rough, outspoken man, with little manners and I could tell he disliked me as he never looked at me or acknowledged me. Now I know why. He knows I’m his daughter.’

  ‘Why do you think I never visit Grace at home? He hates the Wild family. We remind him of his transgressions and is frightened that his wife will find out just how wicked a man he is.’

  Mary-Anne put her arm around her daughter. ‘I’m sorry, my darling. You deserve better. I know I must be a disappointment to you, but one day that will change, I promise you.’

  ‘At least I know now. I’m sorry I judged you. At least you knew who my father was. Half of the children of Leeds either don’t know or their mother can’t remember.’ Victoria smiled wanly. ‘You see, I’m not that precious.’

  ‘That’s my girl. You can live without Edmund Ellershaw in your life, believe me.’ Mary-Anne kissed her on her brow and smiled. Victoria was tougher than she looked, and in that way at least, she took after her side of the family.

  Chapter 20

  ‘Don’t you say another bloody word.’ Mary-Anne put on her favourite green bonnet and looked at herself in the mirror to make sure she looked respectable and at her best before she set off on her way to meet William Ellershaw. She pulled on her lace gloves. ‘You’ve done enough harm for this week without telling me how to dress.’

  ‘Oh, stop moaning. I don’t regret what I said,’ Ma Fletcher tutted. ‘Victoria needed to know who her father was. Besides, you said she was all right now, and it is all out in the open. You and Eliza need not skulk around the subject any more. Are you really going to meet William Ellershaw in that green bonnet? Isn’t it a bit plain?’ Ma Fletcher looked Mary-Anne up and down and decided not to say another word when she noticed the black look on her face as she picked up her posy bag.

  ‘I’ll be back for supper. All you need is on the table by your side. The coal bucket is full, so you don’t have to move. Just bloody well behave yourself. In any case, I believe that time on your own will make you rue what you said to Victoria.’

  Mary-Anne opened the door and left the old woman on her own, hearing her shout ‘Bollocks!’ as she closed the door behind her.

  Could she stand living with Ma Fletcher much longer? That would depend if she could ever forgive her for telling Victoria the news that had been kept a secret from her so long. The atmosphere between her and Ma Fletcher had been frosty that morning, and on top of that, she had felt nauseous at the thought of her luncheon with William Ellershaw. It was what she had hoped for, but when it came to the meeting and sitting across from him in a well-to-do restaurant, she was suddenly nervous. Ma’s comments about her attire hadn’t helped and now she was doubting her choice of clothes as she walked down onto The Headrow and on to Briggate to make her way to Whitelocks, where the gentry ate and entertained.

  Leeds was always busy but at lunchtime the streets were extra chaotic, with people in such a rush to get things done in the short time they were allowed away for their workplaces. Millworkers were doing errands before the mill’s whistle warned them to be back at work; businessmen and bankers shoved their way into the many chop houses along the streets to share a grill with work colleagues.

  Mary-Anne pushed her way through the crowds and stood next to the stalls on Briggate that were at the entrance to the alleyway leading to Whitelocks. One was a fish stall and the smell of dead fish churned her stomach, adding to the anxiety of meeting William Ellershaw in the next few seconds. She composed herself and prepared to put on airs and graces as she walked up to the elaborate façade of Whitelocks restaurant. Through the acid-etched windows of the lounge bar she watched the waiters, dressed in white shirts and black trousers with black aprons around their waists, serve the customers within. Whole fish were served on silver platters and bottles of wine were being poured and returned to ice-filled buckets. She had never before eaten in a place like this. Perhaps Ma Fletcher was right: she was a little underdressed for the occasion.

  She was just doubting her courage to enter the premises and planning how to make good her escape when she saw William Ellershaw wave to her from a table in the corner of the main restaurant. It was too late to turn tail and run. She smiled and waved back before entering this elegant world of food and drink.

  ‘Mary-Anne, you made it, how wonderful.’ William rose from his seat. The waiter took Mary-Anne’s mantel from her shoulders and pulled out a chair for her to sit upon before placing a napkin on her knee. ‘I thought perhaps you might think twice about joining me, after all, I wouldn’t blame you.’

  Mary-Anne tried to relax and smiled at her companion. ‘How could I r
esist? A handsome man, good food and distinguished company?’

  ‘You are too kind, and I think a little teasing by the look in your eye. Besides, it is not that well-to-do. In fact, this place is a bolthole for those with secrets. Do you see the old man over there, sat with a very young, buxom girl?’ William bent forward and whispered to Mary-Anne, glancing at what she thought to be perhaps an elderly grandfather and his granddaughter.

  ‘Yes, I do,’ Mary-Anne whispered back, forgetting her nerves.

  ‘Well, that is Lord Westcliffe, magistrate to the West Riding, and that is his latest paramour.’ William winked and picked up his cigar that had been smouldering in an ashtray. ‘There’s no fool like an old fool. Even though he’s supposed to know every right and wrong in the land.’ William laughed at the shock on Mary-Anne’s face. ‘Over there is Lady Ashmere. I bet her husband doesn’t know that she’s dining with his best friend, the Right Honorable Ronald Allen. I think he’d have a few words to say about the way he’s looking down her cleavage.’ William watched Mary-Anne follow his gaze around the room. ‘Don’t worry, there are some decent folk eating here as well, after all, there is you and me, and I want you to be assured that I’m just extending a hand of friendship, so you can stop thinking that I mean you any wrong. Although I am flattered that you called me handsome, I promise it will not go to my head. However, I beg to differ. Those days when I was once handsome have well and truly gone. Hard work and an empty-headed wife have seen to that. Surely you noticed my greying hair and tired looks? But, as for you, I think you are in your prime and outshine any of the women of note in this room.’

  Mary-Anne sighed. ‘Please, I don’t need to be flattered. I’m here because I think both you and I have a lot in common. We both desire things and will do anything to possess them. Is that not why you married Priscilla? I’ll be honest: I want more in my life, and now that I’m a widow I can start over and make a name for my daughter and myself. I’m no longer the innocent Mary-Anne that you once thought you could take advantage of, so please don’t waste words of nonsense on me.’ Mary-Anne still found William attractive but she could not weaken and fall for his charms if her plan was to work.

  ‘You’ve still got spirit, Mary-Anne. You are not acting so much like a grieving widow. Perhaps you married the wrong person as well and the grass was not as green in America as you made it out to be? Now, let us both forget the unfortunate start to our friendship and start afresh. You never know, we may even develop a liking of one another. I sincerely hope so. Two lost souls in a sea of despair; plenty of money, perhaps, but not loved in a way that we would wish.’ William summoned the waiter. ‘Claret? It helps lift the spirits.’

  Mary-Anne noticed the laughter lines around his mouth as he raised his glass for her to join him in a drink. She nodded to the waiter as he filled her glass and then she lifted it to join William’s in a toast.

  ‘To two lonely, misunderstood people with dreams that are still unfulfilled.’ William clinked his glass to hers and then took a long sip of the dark-red claret, watching Mary-Anne as she politely took a small sip. ‘I’m sorry, I acted like a bastard before you left for America. I was desperate, you were sending me mad and then I had to marry Priscilla to appease my grandfather. I apologise for my actions. I hope that we can become good friends, if not more.’

  ‘But you are married!’ Mary-Anne exclaimed, knowing it was expected of her.

  ‘Look around you, so are half the people in here, but they are not here with their spouses. Life is too short to be miserable and Prissy is so fixated on her potions that keep real life at bay, she’s rarely in my company.’ William took another sip of wine.

  ‘Perhaps she has to find comfort in her own world if you are as big a cad as I hear you are. Which leads me to wonder why I should look twice at you?’

  William had a wicked twinkle in his eye and she remembered how smitten she had been when she had first met him.

  ‘I’ll admit I’m no saint. I like the comfort I find in my mistress’s bosom. I’ve no other option. Priscilla does not show me any affection and nobody else will have me. Money, believe it or not, does not buy you everything. It can’t buy you love and respect.’ William went silent as he swirled the last of his wine around in the bottom of the glass.

  ‘Now, don’t you go maudlin on me, it doesn’t suit you. Neither did the angry, demanding bastard that you once were. But yes, let us begin a friendship together, it will benefit us both and I will enjoy your company.’

  Mary-Anne smiled, William Ellershaw was hers to play with as she liked and play with him she would. She had the upper hand this time, and had to ensure that he never found out that she was not all she seemed to be.

  ‘To our friendship and wherever it leads us.’ William nodded to the waiter to refill his glass.

  ‘To friendship.’ Mary-Anne raised her glass.

  William urged the waiter to bring a plate full of oysters to the table.

  ‘I hope you don’t mind. I took the liberty of ordering these as soon as I entered the room, to make sure we got the best to share. They are supposed to be a stimulant, but perhaps neither of us need such.’ William took one of the pearly shells from off the plate and loosened the jellied mass of the oyster from its shell, before putting his head back and swallowing the delicacy. ‘They truly are delicious. Do try one.’ William pushed the plate towards Mary-Anne. ‘A squirt of lemon perhaps?’ William smiled noticing the look on Mary-Anne’s face.

  She had never eaten oysters before and even though it seemed that William had enjoyed the revolting-looking treat, she didn’t think she would. She wasn’t sure she dared to try eating them without making a fool of herself.

  ‘Just the one. I’m not that keen on them.’ Mary-Anne picked up the smallest oyster and copied what William had done. She tried not to retch as the slimy oyster slipped into her mouth and she swallowed hard to get rid of foul-tasting morsel. The liquid that had surrounded the oyster ran down her chin as she tried not to show her hatred of the seafood and she quickly raised her napkin to wipe it away.

  ‘Not the easiest things to eat, are they?’ William grinned as he helped himself to another. ‘Would you like me to order you some soup? I recommend the blade of beef, it is always so tender.’

  ‘No, please. I’m fine. You enjoy your oysters, the beef will be sufficient for me.’ Mary-Anne sat back as William cleared the plate of oysters and drunk his claret.

  ‘Priscilla does not like oysters either, but then again, there is not a lot she does like. I made a terrible mistake marrying her. If it hadn’t been for her wealth and contacts, I wouldn’t have looked twice at her.’ William went quiet as the waiter cleared the empty tray of oysters and brushed the table down ready for the next course.

  ‘We all make mistakes. I should never have left and married John Vasey. I may have seen a part of the world that others would have loved to have seen but I have missed my daughter growing up and she struggles to find any feelings for me.’ Mary-Anne sighed and tidied her napkin.

  ‘Were you happy with your husband? He had obviously done well for himself by the looks of your clothes and the house that you are living in. Was he the father of your daughter?’

  ‘John was a good man. He was an idealist and perhaps he should not have chosen me to spend his short life with. But, no, he’s not the father of my child. I was taken advantage of by a letch. However, I do love my daughter, she cannot help her arrival on this earth.’ Mary-Anne tried to avoid William’s gaze and hoped that he would not pry any further into Victoria’s parentage.

  ‘I’m sorry, I’ll not ask any further questions. Now, when are we to meet again?’ William smiled at Mary-Anne as she looked at the plate of dinner put in front of them both.

  ‘This is enough food to feed me for a week!’ Mary-Anne gasped. ‘Meet again? That would be wonderful. I’d like to get to know you better.’ Mary-Anne picked up her knife and fork and started to tuck into her meal.

  ‘Yes, Mary-Anne, I’m enjoying myself great
ly, it is not every day I get to sit across from a beautiful woman. At least one I’ve not paid for!’ William winked wickedly at Mary-Anne.

  ‘Ah! But I am paid for. After all, I presume you are paying for my lunch? I hope you are not expecting payment in kind? As I say, let us keep it to friends for now, but who is to say that our friendship will not develop into something more?’ Mary-Anne looked across at William and knew exactly what he was thinking. But the trouble was that she was thinking the same thing.

  ‘Do you like going to the theatre? Perhaps you would like to join me next Friday evening at the music hall adjacent to the White Swan? I have my own private box and would enjoy your company.’

  ‘I think I’d enjoy that. But I can’t help but feel guilty about your wife.’ Mary-Anne wasn’t one bit concerned about Priscilla but she had to seem reluctant and let William court her.

  ‘Forget her. She will be glad to see the back of me for an evening. Don’t let her spoil our friendship, she means little to me and is not your concern.’ William picked his knife and fork up and started to eat his dinner.

  ‘Then yes, I’d be happy to be your guest at the music hall. What time are we to meet?’

  ‘Eight, at the White Swan? We can pretend to meet in there by accident and then no one is any wiser.’ William grinned.

  ‘That’s a good idea. I’ll look forward to it.’ Mary-Anne concentrated on finishing her lunch. Her plan was working; William thought he was hunting her when in truth he was the prey and he didn’t even realise it.

  ‘Well, madam, how did you get on with your web of deceit?’ Ma Fletcher noted Mary-Anne’s flushed face as she entered her home.

  ‘I’ve had an excellent lunch and a glass or two of claret and to be quite honest I even enjoyed William Ellershaw’s company.’ Mary-Anne grinned as she pulled out her hat pin from the green hat that Ma Fletcher had disliked so much and hung it up on the coat rack in the hall.

  ‘Don’t you forget what he’s really like and whose son he is. That look on your face is not what I wanted to see,’ Ma Fletcher growled. ‘Don’t you go and fall for his charms, else you will forget what you are really after.’