In Sheep's Clothing

by Mary Monroe

  “So why did you call, Daddy?” I asked. “Is something wrong?”

  “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with me. I just called to tell you that old horny dinosaur Clarke is in jail,” Daddy announced. His voice was smooth and steady but it didn’t hide his exasperation and anger.

  I had absolutely no interest in Mr. Clarke’s activities. I rolled my eyes and sighed. “What for?”

  Daddy groaned and clicked his teeth. “They raided one of them massage parlors he throws his money away in. The po’lice hauled everybody in there off to jail—where they belong! I done told him and told him to stay away from them hooker women.”

  “Who’s minding the store?”

  “Who do you think is mindin’ the store? Me, that’s who! Spider said he’d help out till Clarke gets his driedup tail bailed out Monday mornin’. I’m tellin’ you the honest truth, niggers ain’t shit. I’m tryin’ to help Clarke out with a little spendin’ money, which he must not need that bad if he can spend it on them massage parlor trollops.”

  “Why don’t you just let the man go. There are a lot of people in the neighborhood who would appreciate that job more. They would be glad to work for you.”

  I knew where Daddy was going with this even before he let it out. “That’s what I called you for, baby,” he admitted.

  My heart started to thump. “Daddy, I am not coming back to work in the store. I already have a job, and I don’t want to leave it until I am good and ready.”

  Daddy let out a dry laugh and cleared his throat. “Don’t flatter yourself, gal. That ain’t what I’m thinkin’ about. You ain’t the only person I know who can work a cash register.”

  I was puzzled. “Then what did you call me for?”

  Daddy took his time responding. “How would you feel about me hirin’ Spider on permanent? He can come work for me in the evenin’ when he get off his construction job. My blood pressure done shot up. My heart been actin’ up again. I’m tired.”

  “Then sell that place and retire.”

  “I ain’t retirin’ nothin’! I ain’t that old!” Daddy howled.

  “Then get somebody to run it for you full-time!”

  “Hold on. Let me sit down before I . . . fall down.”

  “Are you taking your heart medicine?”

  “I can’t find it.” Daddy’s voice dropped to a weak whisper. “I hope I can hold out till you get back,” he managed.

  As much as I loved my daddy there were times when his comments about his mortality bothered me so much I wanted to finish him off myself. I didn’t like feeling that way even though it was never a serious thought, and I would regret it immediately. “Find your medicine, Daddy. Now, I have to hang up.”

  It didn’t matter if I was at home or away, Daddy, James, and Mavis were driving me crazy. My life was rapidly spinning out of control, so I treasured the few things that I did still have some control over. My love life was one. I couldn’t stop thinking about my weekend fling in Mexico and what I’d done. I was twice as wet between my thighs by the time James returned from his mother’s room an hour later.

  He almost jumped off the bed when I tried to guide his head down between my legs. “You know I don’t do that!”

  I sat bolt upright in bed with my arms folded. “You seem to enjoy it when I do it to you,” I reminded him. Oral sex had not been the same since I’d been forced to do it with a gun to my head. However, knowing how much it turned James on, I continued to accommodate him anyway.

  “But you’ve never wanted me to do that to you before.”

  “I want you to do it now.”

  James shook his head and headed for the champagne bottle. “Nuh-uh, baby. Not tonight. Maybe some other time but not tonight. I am not ready to do that, Trudy.” His words made me furious. Here was a man who liked to have his dick sucked in his sleep, but he had a whole different attitude when I was the one who wanted oral sex. He sat back down on the bed, sitting close to the edge. He looked nervous and wild-eyed. Like he thought I might straddle him and sit on his face anyway. He grabbed the remote control and spent the next two hours watching television.

  Even though he hated champagne, he drank one glass after another until it was all gone.

  It was my idea for us to skip the Wayne Newton show, even though we already had the tickets. I was not happy with the fact that I’d allowed Mavis to take control of the situation. As it turned out, we actually had fun drifting from casino to casino. We had even spotted a few A-List celebrities.

  Every chance I got I encouraged Mavis to have a drink. Unlike some people, she was a lot more pleasant to be around when she was drunk. James didn’t make love to me until the following night after we’d done some sightseeing, and more gambling, and dining. That was because by then I had plied Mavis with enough alcohol to get her out of our hair. By nine that Saturday night, she was splayed belly-up on her hotel bed, drooling and snoring like a pig.

  Despite James’s sexual limitations, he was a fairly good lover. He satisfied me most of the time. He surprised me when he threw back the covers and dropped his head between my thighs. But as soon as it was over he jumped off the bed and ran to the bathroom and rinsed out his mouth with Scope. And not just once. He didn’t stop gargling and gagging until he had used half of a family-size bottle. That bothered me. For one thing, it was the same thing I’d done after the robber had assaulted me in the liquor store a few months ago. The other reason it bothered me was the fact that it made me feel unclean. As many times as I’d put my mouth on James’s private parts over the years, I had never gargled afterwards.

  I pretended to be asleep when he returned to bed, clearing his throat and coughing. He plopped down on the side of the bed and remained there for at least ten minutes. It wouldn’t have bothered me as much if he had not continued to cough and clear his throat and swipe his lips with a hand towel the whole time. The more he did it, the nastier it made me feel.

  Sex was one of man’s greatest mysteries. I often wondered how something so good could be so bad. But that was only when it was used the wrong way.

  It was one of the longest weekends of my life. I couldn’t wait to get back home where the worst I had to deal with was Daddy and his heart problems and other ailments.

  I looked forward to going back to work.

  CHAPTER 63

  There was another accident on the freeway that made me and Freddie late for work that Monday morning. She didn’t have to worry about it because her bosses didn’t arrive until an hour after she did anyway. But I ran all the way from the bus stop to the office, praying that Ann wouldn’t notice me coming in late again.

  Before I could even get inside and close the door, Wendy and Pam galloped toward my desk. One of Wendy’s sharp heels caught in the carpet and she stumbled, but that didn’t slow her down. She reached my desk before Pam did.

  “Trudy, you are not going to believe what’s happened !” Pam hollered. Her eyes looked like they were going to pop out of her head. I looked from Pam to Wendy as I struggled to remove my sweater. Even though it was the middle of summer, it was still chilly enough during certain parts of the day for sweaters or light jackets. For once in my life I was glad I lived in a part of California that had such odd weather. I had a lot of new sweaters and jackets that I wanted to show off. I couldn’t wait for the weather to drop low enough so I would have an excuse to buy some new leather items.

  “What’s going on?” I asked, my head still swiveling around to look from one to the other.

  “Ann’s gone!” Wendy shrieked.

  I froze. “Gone?” I gasped. I blinked so hard my eyes burned. “Gone where?” Within a split second my imagination ran amok. One of the first thoughts that came to my mind was that Ann had been kidnapped. With the mugging she’d survived, the messy situation involving her late sister, kidnapping seemed reasonable. I let out a long loud breath. “What are you talking about?” I mouthed. A taste slid throughout my mouth that was so sour it made me gag. I covered my mouth and cleared my throat, anxiousl
y awaiting a response from either Pam or Wendy. “What are you two talking about?” I demanded. I got impatient and angry at the same time. These two women knew me well enough by now to know that I did not like being held in suspense.

  “She quit! She called Mr. Rydell at home last night and told him she was not coming back to work! Ever!” Wendy yelled. “I just can’t believe it! I didn’t think dynamite could make that woman leave this place. She had this place and Mr. Rydell by the balls!”

  “What?” I gasped. “Did something happen to her?”

  “She’s getting married,” Pam mouthed in a quiet voice, a small smile on her face.

  “Is that all?” I managed. “She quit just because she’s getting married? She doesn’t strike me as the stay-athome type. How do you know she’s never coming back? Are you sure?” I asked hopefully.

  “Can you imagine a man desperate enough to marry a she-devil like Ann Oliver?” Wendy let out a long, low whistle before she laughed.

  “Slow down. Who is she getting married to?” I asked with my head pounding so hard I had to grit my teeth. It was too good to be true. “How do you know she’s not coming back?” I grinned. I don’t know what came over me. I couldn’t help myself. My lips curled up into a smile so extreme my eyes almost disappeared into my face.

  “Remember that guy she met in Paris?” Pam said, nodding. “He’s the only man I know of who is as mean as that Mr. Giles who calls for Ann from Jamaica. I wonder what it is about bitches and scoundrels that attracts them to one another.” Pam paused as she wiggled, then rubbed her nose. “Well, he showed up on her doorstep last Friday and told her either she goes back to France with him so they can be married or it was over. At least that’s what she told Mr. Rydell.”

  “And she said she wasn’t coming back? Are you sure?” I couldn’t believe what I had heard so far. That’s why I had such an incredulous look on my face.

  Both Pam and Wendy nodded with smiles like I’d never seen on their faces before. “Other than this job, what does Ann have to come back here for? She rarely spends time with her parents, and other than Lupe and Joy, she has no other women friends,” Pam said, her mood making a U-turn. There was now a look of despair on her face that made it seem like she was talking about herself.

  A gust of warm air caressed my face as I thought about Pam’s words. Then, just as suddenly, a deep sadness came over me. I couldn’t imagine life without my friends. True, Freddie was the only really close female friend I had, but there were other women I chatted with from time to time. I had to remind myself about all the misery Ann had caused me. I knew that to have a friend, you had to be a friend. I wondered if Ann had ever been a real friend to anybody. No matter how nice she had treated me from time to time, she had never been my friend. One time she had made me so angry that I had even fantasized about her getting drunk and falling off a cruise ship during one of her overseas escapades. The truth was, I didn’t want any harm to come to her. I just wanted her out of my way. From the looks of things, one of my dreams had finally come true.

  “Looks like Christmas is coming early this year.” I grinned.

  “If this doesn’t call for a drink I don’t know what does.” Wendy laughed, already removing the bottle from her drawer.

  “I thought you were pregnant,” Pam said quickly. “Oops!” she added, covering her mouth with her hand as she shot Wendy an apologetic look.

  “It’s okay to tell Trudy. She knows I’ve been trying,” Wendy said, patting her stomach. It did look pretty well-rounded.

  I knew it was not my place to bring it up and I wouldn’t unless she did, but if Wendy was truly pregnant already, Daryl was more than likely the father. It was something that had been in the back of my mind since the day Wendy had tried to get me to accompany her to her doctor’s office. Unless, of course, she had been fooling around with Mark from the bank sooner than she’d led me to believe. I shook my head to rid myself of thoughts about Wendy. I had more than enough evidence to convince myself that I was living in a crazy world. Sadly, the insanity had rubbed off on me.

  Wendy was too anxious and impatient to twist the top off her bottle. She bit it off. “One little sip won’t hurt,” she said, looking at Pam. She took a long drink and let out a loud burp before she waved the bottle at Pam.

  I was too overjoyed to move. Pam almost knocked me down trying to get to Wendy to grab the bottle. As soon as she took a long swallow, she pushed the bottle toward me.

  Pam and Wendy were both surprised when I held up my hand and shook my head. I no longer drank straight out of the bottle after Wendy, and especially Pam. Not after that incident in the ladies’ room when she failed to wash her hands after an extensive episode behind the handicapped stall. I had an ample supply of Dixie cups in my drawer, but I wasn’t going to need them any longer.

  “I don’t think I’ll need that bottle to help me do my job anymore,” I announced proudly.

  CHAPTER 64

  “There really is a God,” I whispered to Freddie as soon as she answered her cellular phone. I had called her from my cellular phone while I was in the ladies’ room at Bon Voyage sitting on a commode. One thing I always did before I called Freddie from the ladies’ room was to squat on the floor and peep under the stalls to make sure I was alone. A few minutes earlier I had spied Joy’s long bare feet in the stall next to me. As soon as I heard her leave I called up Freddie to tell her the latest news about Ann Oliver. Ann had become like a one-woman soap opera to Freddie. She waited like a spider on a vine from one episode to the next.

  “You want to tell me what this is all about?” Freddie said eagerly, not even trying to hide the fact that she was anxious to hear what I had to say. “What’s up?”

  “Ann quit her job.” I stated, giving myself a thumbs-up with each word.

  “No, she didn’t!” Freddie squealed.

  “The woman ran off with some Frenchman and she’s not ever coming back,” I said, almost choking on my own breath.

  “Now that’s one man who must be some kind of a magician, witch doctor or something. From what you told me, that woman’s from another planet.” Freddie clicked her teeth. “Mmph! Girl, that’s the biggest news since the parting of the Red Sea. To hell with waiting for the weekend to go dancing! We are going out to par-tay tonight if I have to carry you on my back.”

  “I guess if this isn’t a reason to celebrate, nothing is. Uh, I don’t want you to pick me up at the house, though. Daddy’s been mighty agitated lately. His lady friend is worrying him to death over those crazy grandsons of hers. Our excitement—over something he’d call foolishness—might set off his chest pains. I’ll be standing on the corner by that shoe shop at nine.”

  Ann Oliver’s sudden and curious departure had taken everything in my life to a new level. The huge worry that I’d been carrying around on my back like a papoose about her finding out I’d been masquerading as her was gone. I would no longer have to put up with the cat and mouse relationship I had with her. Never knowing which direction she was coming from had taken its toll on me.

  As if I wasn’t already taking advantage of Ann, I made plans for the use of her name that I never would have come up with if she had stayed around.

  The very next day after Ann’s departure I spent my lunch hour poring over the classifieds, looking for a cozy little studio apartment to rent. I felt it would do me a world of good to have a place to go to when I needed to put some space between myself and Daddy, not to mention James. Besides, there were other things I wanted to get out of my system before I married James. Other men were one of those things I had to address. As flawed as James was, he still was a better catch than some of the husbands of women I knew. I thought that he was probably the best man for me. But just thinking that wasn’t good enough. There was no way I could be sure if I didn’t get a firsthand confirmation.

  I didn’t know what I would do if I stumbled across another man half as exciting as the sexy Mexican I’d met in Puerto Vallarta. Especially if it was a man who wanted
to establish a real relationship with me. If that did happen I knew I’d probably be tempted to delete James from my life completely. Until I’d met the Mexican I’d been completely faithful to James for more than ten years. That was an accomplishment that a lot of married women couldn’t claim.

  Since my sexual experiences had been so limited before James, and even with James, I thought I owed it to myself to see what I had been missing. Not to mention what I would miss once James and I got married. One thing I’d promised myself was that I’d never cheat on my husband. It was one promise I planned to keep. That was why it was so important for me to get everything out of my system while I was still single.

  I planned to pay the rent on my secret apartment with cash advances from the credit cards. I hoped to find a furnished place. That way I wouldn’t have to use up any of my available credit on new furniture that I would not need after my masquerade had played itself out.

  It amazed me how easy it was to rent an apartment. The first two places I looked at were nice. I selected the third one I looked at because it came with the cutest furniture. Also, because it was located in San Jose where I planned to do my socializing and entertaining. Not too many folks in San Jose knew me, so I would not have to worry about bumping into some blabbermouth who knew James or Daddy.

  The apartment I’d selected was within a reasonable price range, not that the price was anything that I was too concerned about. I planned to keep the residence only for a few months, so the price range didn’t really matter to me one way or the other.

  If I told myself once, I told myself a thousand times that even though my masquerade was wrong I wasn’t hurting anybody. Not Ann, not the banks, not myself. If anything, I had the same attitude that Robin Hood had: rob from the rich, give to the poor. The insurance companies, who had been “robbing” folks from day one, weren’t even losing anything. All the money they collected—from hardworking Americans like myself—more than covered a few scams, in my book. As far as I was concerned, I wasn’t “scamming” anybody. So far everything I had done had brought joy not only to me but to all the people who benefited from my generosity. Each time I withdrew a fistful of crisp twenty dollar bills from the ATM by the park and doled out some of it to the homeless people who patrolled the area, I felt like an outlaw and a hero at the same time.