SEAL's Technique Box Set (A Navy SEAL Romance)

by Claire Adams

  “I’m going to have to pass,” I said apologetically. I could see he was disappointed, but he was nice about it and moved on.

  I thought vaguely about when I would be ready to get out there again and see people. It wasn’t like it was urgent. I knew I’d feel a huge weight off my shoulders once Nate left, but still, I wasn’t in a hurry. I’d just pick better next time. This experience with him would have been for nothing if I didn’t end up learning something from it.

  The crowd erupted into applause. I had missed the entire first performance zoning out and talking to that guy. I had to stay present. Nate isn’t in his suite doing this, I told myself. It was over now, and since it was, I had to be over it, too. I joined the clapping, hearing the host announce that there was an extra performer that night.

  “Did you know this was happening?” Makani asked me.

  “No,” I said, shaking my head. Luau performers were always booked well in advance because ours weren’t the only ones they performed at. I watched the stage, hearing the audience clap again as Nate walked on with a stool in one hand and a guitar in the other. I felt my heart drop. Oh my God.

  “Do you need to leave? I can cover for you,” Makani said to me.

  Yes. I wanted to get out of there. He was the performer? I couldn’t watch this. I didn’t want to stand there and listen to this. I was trying to get over him; his music took me right back to feeling sad and abandoned by him when I heard it. I hadn’t listened to his band since we stopped talking.

  The part of me that was like those stupid girls in the movies who didn’t know when to let go wanted to stay. He was such a talented musician. If I didn’t get him to myself, couldn’t I have him like this?

  “Hi, I’m Nate,” he said. “I came here after my band broke up back in Los Angeles. I didn’t think I’d make music again, but I met someone really special here on Lanai who changed my mind. This song is for her,” he said.

  Stop it, I thought. He isn’t talking about you.

  “Abby?” Makani said.

  “I’m fine,” I said tersely. I hadn’t meant to snap, but I needed to hear this. He began playing, and I held my breath, realizing it was the first time I was hearing him live. He started singing, and my jaw dropped open. He didn’t really sing in Remus; he did a lot of the backing vocals, but mostly played and wrote.

  I knew what he sounded like, but I’d never experienced his music like this. I’d never imagined this being the experience of hearing him play his music live.

  His presence on stage had everyone there completely enraptured; I knew it wasn’t just me, but I felt in my gut that he was telling me something.

  I knew that the two of us had connected during his time here. I knew I wasn’t making that up. What had happened had happened, and it still meant something, even if we had stopped talking. I tried to lock my eyes with his; he was scanning the audience as he played. Maybe he couldn’t see us very well. The stage was lit, but the rest of the luau was probably dark from where he was.

  But then he saw me. As our eyes locked, I felt like nothing had happened. He hadn’t said horrible things to me, and I hadn’t asked him to leave me alone.

  He looked away as he strummed the final chords of his song, looking up again as the audience broke into applause. I lost sight of him because of the number of people that were on their feet giving him a standing ovation. I clapped furiously. That was so good. I felt Makani touch my arm.

  “You know that was for you, right?” she asked. I shrugged, but I was screaming inside. I wanted to see him. I wanted to tell him how well he had done and that I was sorry.

  “Where did he go?” I asked her.

  She pointed over to the side of the stage where Nate was talking to Keno. I saw them look over a couple times before they started heading towards us. Oh my God, he was coming over. What the hell did I tell him? All my initial bravery fizzled away. I didn’t want to run, though. I couldn’t do that again. I grabbed Makani's hand, so she didn't even think about bailing and leaving me there.

  "Abby," she complained.

  "I'm not doing this alone," I said through gritted teeth.

  "I can't talk to him," she said.

  "Then don't. You don't have to say anything. Just stay right there," I whispered. I watched the men walking over to us. My heart started pounding. Think, Abby, think, I thought. What was I going to say? He is coming over to me, so he has to speak first. The last conversation we'd had had been so awful.

  I had been upset, and seeing him again, I had felt insecure and exposed. I had just wanted him to leave because that push and pull was too much for me. Did he or didn't he want me; which was it?

  I didn't want to hear him say he didn't need me anymore again if that was what he decided after I'd been around long enough to bore him once again. I felt deeply for him, but I was scared, too. Right then, fear had won. I didn't know what would win this time when he spoke to me.

  "Hey," he said to both of us. Keno greeted us, too. The tension between the four of us was thick and heavy.

  "Hi," I said shortly. I heard Makani clear her throat at my side.

  "Nate, that performance was amazing. I had no idea you were so talented," she said.

  "Thanks," he said, with a small smile. "I haven't played like that in a long time. I was hoping you'd be here to watch," he said, looking at me.

  "You did really well," I said honestly.

  "I was also hoping you'd be here so we could talk. I'm so sorry, Abby. I was an asshole. I hate myself for saying what I said to you, and I want to make it up to you," he said.

  "Nate, I think-"

  "She'd love to," Makani said, interjecting.

  Nate looked from her to me, waiting for me to either say I was going or I wasn't. I sighed and nodded. How many more times was he going to reach out to me again? I was upset, but that didn't mean I had to punish him by turning him down even though I felt the same way he did.

  "You would?" he said hopefully.

  "I would, but we can't just pick up again like nothing happened," I said.

  "I know. I agree. I feel like I ruined our last date. I want to take you out," he told me.

  I bit my lip, remembering the night that everything fell apart. He had told me to get out of his life, and I had. What had been his trigger that night? I still didn't know. Something I did know was I wasn't making the same mistake twice. My guard was up nice and high. It wasn't going down unless I was sure it was safe.

  "I will go with you, on condition that Makani and Keno can come, too."

  "What?" she said, "I can't come on a date with you."

  "Fine. Keno will be there, too," Nate said quickly.

  "Whoa. I didn't agree to this," he said, looking at Nate.

  "I can’t come if it’s just the two of us,” I said.

  “Makani,” Nate said plaintively, looking at her. “I wouldn’t ask you to do anything for me unless it was extremely important.” She sighed looking at him, then at me.

  “I’m doing this for Abby, not for you,” she said firmly. “I’ll come if Keno does,” she said. Yes, I thought. This was good. They could finally talk, as well. The three of us looked at Keno expectantly.

  “You owe me, big time,” he said to Nate. Nate clapped him on the back, relieved.

  “Thanks, man. Tomorrow night?” he asked me. I nodded. We had a date.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Nate

  "I can't do this, man," Keno said, stopping beside me. I stopped and turned to look at him. We were walking down the lamp-lit trail to Abby's house on the beach.

  "Come on, we talked about this."

  "I can't do it. I can't talk to her."

  "Abby won't talk to me unless you're there. I promised her that it would be both of us."

  "You promised her. I had nothing to do with this."

  "You can’t tell me you don't want to see Makani," I said.

  "I do, but what the hell am I supposed to say to her?"

  "The truth. Just be honest. That's
all she wants."

  "I don't want to hear the reason why she left," he said.

  "What? Why wouldn't you want to know?"

  "Why would I do that to myself? It wouldn't change anything."

  "Yes, it would. If you let her tell you, then you can do something about it," I said. "How are things between you supposed to change if you won't even talk to her?"

  "I want to help you, man, but I can't take her walking away from me twice," he said. I sighed, shaking my head.

  "Look at your options. You don't go in there, you'll never get her back. That's done. Over. If you do, then you can stop wondering what might have happened if you hadn’t." Keno ran his hands through his hair, obviously stressed. "This might be it. Your last chance. If you do, then it's on you."

  "Why did I let you get me into this?" he asked himself out loud.

  "I'm not letting you get out of talking to her," I said.

  "You only brought me here today because you want Abby back."

  "Abby asked for both of you to be there. She didn't have to. She could have just asked for her friend to be there. She wouldn't do that unless she was trying to set the two of you up, too."

  Keno sighed. "When you were together, did she ever talk about Makani and me?"

  "Not really, but they're chicks, they definitely talk about the two of you. She wouldn't have asked for you to be here unless she wanted you to finally talk to Makani."

  "You don't understand, Nate," he said.

  "What is there to understand? You want her? Go get her."

  "I was ready to marry that girl. We were talking about a future together. I wanted her to be my wife. One day we're talking about it, and the next day she's gone, and she doesn't even tell me why."

  "That sucks. I used to be married, I know what it's like when you lose someone you've loved for a long time," I said. "But you can get her back now. Just talk to her. Tell her you still love her."

  "This is the last time I'm ever doing you a favor," he said. He didn't sound angry. I knew he was just nervous.

  "It'll be fine. Come on," I said, leading the way back down the trail to Abby's place. She lived past the luau grounds, right on the beach. The house was the only one there, so it was hard to miss. It looked small. A wooden cabin on stilts with a little porch in the back. We climbed up onto the porch, and I knocked at the door, feeling a little nervous myself.

  Fucking finally we could stop the bullshit and we could just be together, if she wanted us to, that was. Fuck, I hoped she did. I'd missed that girl. I wanted to be with her. It didn't matter anymore, any of it — the band, LA, my ex. I might as well leave if I wasn't going to be with her.

  She opened the door and smiled at us. She looked amazing. Her hair was loose and wavy around her shoulders, and she was wearing the dress that I had gotten her.

  "Hey, guys," she said sweetly. Keno leaned in and hugged her. I didn't because that was not what I wanted to do to her in that dress. She probably wanted to take it slow, though. She had asked for a double date. I hoped this would be the last one we had if the reason she had wanted one was because she was scared of being alone with me.

  "Hey, Keno, Makani's already inside." He nodded and walked past her into the house.

  "Abby, you look beautiful," I said.

  "Thanks. You look good, too."

  "I'm happy you decided to keep the dress."

  "I had to; we never got to finish what we started when I put it on last time," she said. She smirked, and right then, I hated Makani and Keno for being with us tonight. "Come in," she said, moving aside so I could walk through the door. I had never been to her place before. It wasn't far from the resort at all. It comforted me a little that she was actually so close to me.

  The place was small, but looked cozy. Everything sort of blended into one big room with no real walls or anything separating areas of the house. Makani had sat on an armchair in the living area, and Keno was on the couch. They weren't saying anything to each other. I held Abby's arm, pulling her back gently so I could ask her something.

  "What's up?" she asked, turning to face me.

  "Hey, Keno's been really nervous about tonight. He's in love with Makani and really wants her back. I told him that that was the reason you asked them both to come," I whispered.

  "She's been talking about him a lot lately, too."

  "Was that why you agreed to let me come over?" I asked, suddenly a little insecure.

  "No. I mean, yes. But it wasn't the whole reason," she said, smiling. "You were right about what you said about our last date. I'd really like a do-over. Makani and Keno... They need one, too."

  "He was shitting bricks on the way over here thinking about what to say to her."

  "Hey, what are you guys doing over there? You asked us to come so you could ignore us?" Makani called from where she was sitting.

  "We were just grabbing some drinks," Abby said, taking my arm and pulling us into her small kitchen. She pulled two bottles of beer out of the fridge, followed by a bottle of wine. She asked me to grab some glasses out of a cabinet as she opened the bottle.

  "Thank you for giving me another chance to do this right, Abby," I said. She looked up at me, holding the bottle of wine.

  "Right after I said you could come, I almost called you to cancel," she said.

  "Why?" I asked. Don't let it be because she regrets what we did together, I thought.

  "I don't do this, Nate. You're the first person I've been brave enough to give a chance. I just remember feeling what I felt after we stopped talking and thinking I was just setting myself up again."

  "You're not," I said quickly. I held both of her hands; they were cold from the bottles. "I hate myself for what I did to you, but I want a chance to make it right. Just let me show you that letting me back in isn't a mistake. Let me start with tonight." She looked up at me, biting her lip.

  "I just need to know one thing," she said.

  "What? Anything," I said, dead serious.

  What did she want to know, because I wouldn’t hesitate to tell her. She knew things about me that nobody else knew. That stuff about Kirsten that I hadn't wanted to say before? I'd tell her anything. Everything. She was trusting me again — I wasn't fucking hiding anymore.

  "Have you used since the last time we went out together?" she asked.

  "No. Nothing. I'm one hundred percent clean," I said. "Twenty-eight days."

  "That's amazing, Nate. I'm so happy for you," she said excitedly.

  "It was you, you know. If you hadn't stopped me that night when I was throwing up, I'd still be using."

  "Don't sell yourself short, Nate. If you really wanted to do it, then you would have."

  I shook my head. "No Abby. You-"

  "What happened with those drinks?" Makani's voice cut me off as she walked into the kitchen with Keno behind her. She stopped, noticing my hands, still holding Abby's. "Are we interrupting?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

  "No, we were just joining you. Want to grab the drinks?" Abby asked. Keno took one beer, and I took the other. Both the girls wanted wine. We walked back into the living area. Abby sat in the armchair so the three of us took the couch. Makani and Keno sat on either side of me.

  "What did you guys talk about when we were gone?" Abby asked Makani and Keno.

  "Mostly just waited for you to get back," Keno said.

  "That would have been a perfect time for you two to sneak away somewhere to be alone," I said to him.

  "You don't invite people on a double date to split up," Makani complained.

  "This is the first time we've all been together and talked like this, isn't it?" Keno mused.

  "The three of us have done this many times. Nate's the newbie," Makani said.

  "Am I being jumped into your gang?" I asked, smiling.

  "You're from the mainland; you can't join," Makani said, teasing me.

  "So is Abby," I complained, not really knowing whether that was true or not. I'd never actually asked her where she had been born, I
realized.

  "She's an honorary islander. You're a tourist," she said.

  "Abby, help me out here," I said to her, laughing.

  "I think a nice game will help break the ice between us," she said smiling. "Truth or dare."

  "We can't play that; we're adults," Makani said.

  "Makani, I dare you to swap seats with Nate," Abby said to her, smirking, obviously egging her on.

  "I pick truth," she said to her friend, crossing her arms.

  "Tell us what your first impression was of Nate when you met him," Keno said out of the blue. She glanced at him before looking at me.

  "I thought you were cute," she said, shrugging. That got Keno's attention.

  "Are you serious?" he asked her.

  "You wanted an answer. That was it. Truth or dare?"

  "Tell me why you left me," he said to her. This was the most intense I had ever seen him.

  "You've never known what I wanted," she said spitefully.

  "Guys, now is not the time," I said, standing.

  "Isn't that why you got us here together? So we would talk?" Keno demanded.

  "Keep talking like that, and you'll get yourself kicked out," I told him.

  "Makani and I are going outside; come join us when you're done," Abby said, standing. She took Makani's hand, and they left by the back door.

  "What the fuck is wrong with you, Keno?" I asked angrily.

  "Have you and Makani been talking?" he asked suspiciously.

  "Do you fucking hear yourself? Get a grip."

  "I told you I couldn't do this," he said, slumping back into the sofa.

  "Just apologize to her — to both of them — and we can have a normal night," I said.

  "I shouldn't have asked her that," he sighed. "I'm just digging the hole deeper and deeper."

  "Yeah, you are. Now get up and go talk to her so you can fix this,” I said. He got up, and we went to the back door. I pushed it open, seeing Abby on the porch.

  “Where’s Makani?” Keno asked. Abby pointed towards the water. I could see a dark figure that I guessed was her. She looked like she was sitting on the sand right at the water’s edge.

  “She’s really upset. She was worried about what was going to happen tonight. If you’re going to be jealous and mean, then don’t go over there,” Abby said.