The First R. Austin Freeman Megapack: 27 Mystery Tales of Dr. Thorndyke & Others

by R. Austin Freeman

  It seemed an odd transaction; but the little man’s manner, though quiet, was so decisive that I took his proffered watch, and, affixing it to my chain, thanked him for his kindness and departed, wondering if it was possible that this prim clerical little person could possibly be the “tame mechanic” of whom Thorndyke had spoken.

  Travelling in London was comparatively slow in those days—which, perhaps, was none the worse for a near and pleasant suburb like Hampstead; it had turned half-past two when I let myself into my lodgings with a rather rusty key and almost literally, fell into the arms of Mrs. Blunt. I feared, for a moment, that she was going to kiss me. But that was a false alarm. What she actually did was to seize both my hands and burst into tears with such violence as to cover me with confusion and cause the servant maid to rise like a domestic, and highly inquisitive, apparition from the kitchen stairs. I pacified Mrs. Blunt as well as I could and shook hands heartily with the maid, who thereupon retired, much gratified, to the underworld, whence presently issued an odour suggestive of sacrificial rites, not entirely unconnected with fried onions, and accompanied by an agreeable hissing sound. “But wherever have you been all this time?” Mrs. Blunt asked, as she preceded me up the stairs wiping her eyes,” and why didn’t you send us a line just to say that you were all right?”

  To this question I made a somewhat guarded answer in so far as the cause of my immersion in the river was concerned; otherwise I gave her a fairly correct account of my adventures. “Well, well,” was her comment, “I suppose it was all for the best, but I do think those sailors might have put you on shore somewhere. Dear me, what a time it has been. I couldn’t sleep at night for thinking of you, and what Susan and I have eaten between us wouldn’t have kept a sparrow alive. And Dr. Thorndyke, too, I’m sure he was very anxious and worried about you, though he is such a quiet, self-contained man that you can’t tell what he is thinking of. And Lord; what a lot of questions he do ask, to be sure!”

  “By the way, how did he come to know that I was missing?”

  “Why I told him, of course. When you didn’t come home that night—which Susan and me sat up for you until three in the morning—I thought there must be something wrong, you being so regular in your habits; so next day, the very first thing, I took his card from your mantelpiece and down I went to his office and told him what had happened. He came up here that evening to see if you had come home, and he’s been here every day since to enquire.”

  “Has he really?”

  “Yes. In a hansom cab. Every single day. And so has the young lady.”

  “The young lady!” I exclaimed. “What young lady?”

  Mrs. Blunt regarded me with something as nearly approaching a wink as can be imagined in association with an elderly female of sedate aspect. “Now,” she protested slyly, “as if you didn’t know! What young lady indeed! Why, Miss Vyne, to be sure; and a very sweet young lady she is, and talked to me just as simple and friendly as if she’d been an ordinary young woman.”

  “How do you know that she isn’t an ordinary young woman?” I asked.

  Mrs. Blunt was shocked. “Do you suppose, Mr. Jardine, sir,” she demanded severely, “that I who have been a head parlour-maid in a county family where my poor husband was coachman, don’t know a real gentlewoman when I meet one? You surprise me, sir.”

  I apologized hastily and suggested that, as so many kind enquiries had been made, the least I could do was to call and return thanks without delay. “Certainly, sir,” Mrs. Blunt agreed; “but not until you have had your lunch. It’s a small porterhouse steak,” she added alluringly, being evidently suspicious of my intentions. The announcement, seconded by an appetizing whiff from below, reminded me that I was prodigiously sharp set, having tasted no food since I had come ashore at Folkestone, and put the grosser physiological needs of the body, for the moment, in the ascendant. But even as I was devouring the steak with voracious gusto, my mind occupied itself with plans for a strategic descent on the abode of the fair Sylvia and with speculations on the reception I should get; and the noise of water running into the bath formed a pleasing accompaniment to the final mouthfuls.

  When I had bathed, shaved and attired myself in carefully selected garments, I set forth, as smart and spruce as the frog that would a-wooing go—saving the opera hat, which would have been inappropriate to the occasion. The distance to Sylvia’s house was not great, and a pair of long and rapidly-moving legs consumed it to such purpose that it was still quite reasonable calling time when I opened the gate of “The Hawthorns” and gave a modest pull at the bell. My summons was answered by a rather foolish-looking maid, by whom I was informed that Miss Vyne was at home, and when I had given her my name—which she seemed disposed to confuse with that of a well-known edible fish—she ushered me down a passage to a room at the back of the house, and, opening the door, announced me—correctly, I was glad to note; whereupon I assumed an ingratiating smile and entered.

  Now there is nothing more disconcerting than a total failure of agreement between anticipation and realization. Unconsciously, I had pictured to myself the easy-mannered, genial Sylvia, seated, perhaps, at an easel or table, working on one of her pictures, and had prepared myself for a reception quite simple, friendly and unembarrassing. Confidently and entirely at my ease, I walked in through the doorway; and there the pleasant vision faded, leaving me with the smile frozen on my face, staring in consternation at one of the most appalling old women that it has ever been my misfortune to encounter.

  I am, in general, rather afraid of old women. They are, to my mind, a rather alarming class of creature; but the present specimen exceeded my wildest nightmares. It was not merely that she was seated unnaturally in the exact centre of the room and that she sat with unhuman immobility, moving no muscle and uttering no sound as I entered, though that was somewhat embarrassing. It was her strange, forbidding appearance that utterly shattered my self-possession and seemed to disturb the very marrow in my bones.

  She was a most remarkable-looking person. An immense Roman nose, a mop of frizzy grey fringe and a lofty surmounting cap or head-dress of some kind, suggested that monstrous and unreal bird, the helmeted hornbill; and the bird-like character was heightened by her eyes, which were small and glittering and set in the midst of a multitude of radiating wrinkles.

  To this most alarming person I made a low bow—and dropped my stick, of which the maid had neglected to relieve me and for which I had found no appointed receptacle. As I stooped hastily to pick it up, my hat slipped from my grasp, and, urged by the devil that possess disengaged hats, instantly rolled under a deep ottoman, whence I had to hook it out with the handle of my stick. I rose, perspiring with embarrassment, to confront that immovable figure, and found the glittering eyes fixed on me attentively but without any sign of expression of human emotion. Haltingly I essayed to stammer out an explanation of my visit. “Er—I have—er—called—” Here I paused to collect my ideas and the old lady watched me stonily without offering any remark; indeed no comment was needed on a statement so self-evidently true. After a brief and hideous silence I began again. “I—er—thought it desirable—er—and in fact necessary and—er—proper to call—er and—”

  Here my ideas again petered out and a horrid silence ensued, amidst which I heard a still, emotionless voice murmur: “Yes. And you have accordingly called.”

  “Exactly,” I agreed, grasping eagerly at the slenderest straw of suggestion. “I have called to—er—well, the fact is that my—er—very remarkable absence seemed to call for some explanation, especially as certain enquiries—er—”

  At this point I stopped suddenly with a horrible doubt as to whether I was not saying more than was discreet; and the misgiving was intensified by that chilly, calm voice, framing the question: “Enquiries made personally?”

  Now this was a facer. I seemed to have put my foot in it at the first lead off. Supposing Sylvia had said nothing about her little visits to Mrs. Blunt? It would never do to give her away to this inq
uisitorial old waxwork. I endeavoured to temporize. “Well,” I stammered, “not exactly made personally to me.”

  “By letter, perhaps?” the voice suggested in the same even, impassive tone.

  “Er—no. Not by letter.”

  There was a short embarrassing pause, and then the old lady, as if summing up the case, said frigidly: “Not exactly personally and not by letter.”

  I was so utterly confounded by her judicial manner, her immovable, expressionless face and the hypnotic quality of those glittering eyes, that for the moment I could think of nothing to say. “Don’t let me interrupt you,” said she after some seconds of agonized silence on my part; whereupon I pulled myself together and made a fresh start. “I should, perhaps, have explained that I have been unavoidably absent from home for some time, and, as I was unable to communicate with my friends, I have, I am afraid, caused them some anxiety. It was this that seemed to make it necessary for me to call and give an account of myself.”

  She pondered awhile on this statement—if a graven image can be said to ponder—and at length enquired: “You spoke of your friends. Are any of them known to me?”

  “Well,” I replied, “I was referring more particularly to your daughter.”

  She continued to regard me fixedly, and, after a brief interval, rejoined: “You are referring to my daughter. But I do not recall the existence of any such person. I think you must be mistaken.”

  It seemed extremely probable, and I hastened to amend the description. “I beg your pardon. I should have said Miss Vyne. But perhaps she is not at home.”

  “You are evidently mistaken,” was the paralyzing reply. “I am Miss Vyne; and I need not add that I am at home.”

  “But,” I demanded despairingly, “is there not another Miss Vyne?”

  “There is not,” she answered. “But it is possible that you are referring to Miss Sylvia Vyne. Is that so?”

  I replied sulkily that it was; and being somewhat nettled by this unnecessary and rather offensive hairsplitting, offered no further remark. How the conversation would have proceeded after this, I cannot even surmise. But it did not proceed at all, for the embarrassing silence was brought to an end by a very agreeable interruption. The door opened softly and for one moment Sylvia herself stood framed in the portal; then, with a little cry, she ran towards me with her hands held out impulsively and the prettiest smile of welcome. “So it is really you!” she exclaimed. “That silly little goose of a maid has only just told me you were here. I am glad to see you. When did you graciously please to descend from the clouds?”

  “I arrived home this afternoon, and as soon as I had changed and had lunch I came here to report myself.”

  “How nice of you,” said Sylvia. “I suppose you guessed how anxious we should be?”

  “I didn’t presume to think that you would actually be anxious about me,” I replied, with a furtive eye on the waxwork, “though I knew that you had been kind enough to express an interest in my fate.”

  “What a cold-bloodedly polite way to put it!” laughed Sylvia. “‘Express an interest,’ indeed! We were most dreadfully worried about you.”

  To a somewhat friendless man like myself this sympathetic warmth was very delightful, and my pleasure was not appreciably damped when a chill, emotionless voice affirmed: “The use of the first person singular would, I think, be preferable.”

  Sylvia turned on her aunt with mock ferocity. “Well, really!” she exclaimed. “You are a dreadful impostor, Mopsy, dear! Just listen to her, Dr. Jardine. And if you had only seen what a twitter she was in as the time went on and no news came!”

  I gasped, and the hair seemed to stir on my scalp. Mopsy! The name was obviously not applied to me. But could it be—was it possible that such a name could be associated with that terrific old lady? It was inconceivable. It was positively profane! It was almost as if one should presume to address the Deity as “old chap.” I could hardly believe my ears.

  I glanced at her nervously and caught her glittering eye; but the grotesque face was as immovable as everlasting granite, though, indeed, by some ventriloquial magic, the word “Rubbish.” managed to disengage itself from her person.

  “It isn’t rubbish,” retorted Sylvia. “It’s the plain truth. We were both worried to death about you. And no wonder. Dr. Thorndyke was very quiet and matter-of-fact, but there was no disguising his fear that something dreadful had happened to you. And then there was the advertisement in the papers. Did you see that? Oh, it’s nothing to grin about. You’ve given us all a nice fright; and me especially, because, of course, I naturally thought of that ruffian from whom you rescued me in the lane.”

  “But he never saw me.”

  “You don’t know. He may have done. At any rate, you owe us an explanation; so, when the tea comes in you shall give us the true story of your adventures. I hope you’ve let Dr. Thorndyke know about your resurrection.”

  I reassured her on this point, and as the “goose of a maid” now brought in the tea, I proceeded to “pitch my yarn,” as the skipper had expressed it, without those reservations that I had considered necessary in the case of Mrs. Blunt.

  The old lady, having been unmasked by Sylvia, developed a slight tendency to thaw. She even condescended, in a rigid and effigean fashion, to consume bread and butter; a proceeding that seemed to me weirdly incongruous, as though one should steal into the British Museum in off hours and find the seated statue of Amenhotep the Third in the act of refreshing itself with a sandwich and a glass of beer. But I was less terrified of her now since I had gathered that a core of warm humanity was somewhere concealed within that grim exterior; and even though her little sparkling eyes were fixed on me immovably, I told my story to the end without flinching.

  Sylvia listened to my narration with a rapt attention that greatly flattered my vanity and made me feel like a very Othello, and when I had finished, she regarded me for a while silently and with an air of speculation. “It’s a queer affair,” she said at length, “and there is a smack of mystery and romance about it that is rather refreshing in these commonplace days. But I don’t like it. Adventure is all very well, but there seems to have been a deliberate attempt to make away with you; unless you think it may have been a piece of silly horse-play that went farther than it was meant to.”

  “That is quite possible,” I replied untruthfully—for I didn’t think anything of the sort, and only made this evasive answer to avoid raising other and more delicate issues.

  “I hope that is the explanation,” said Sylvia, “though it sounds rather a lame one. You would know if you had an enemy who might wish to get rid of you. I suppose you don’t know of any such person?”

  It was a rather awkward question, I didn’t want to tell an untruth, but, on the other hand, I knew that Thorndyke would not wish to have my affairs discussed while his investigations were in progress; so I “hedged” once more, replying, quite truthfully, that I was not acquainted with anyone who bore me the slightest ill-will.

  My adventures done with, the talk drifted into other channels and presently came round to the little crucifix that had been the occasion of Sylvia’s disagreeable experience in the lane. In spite of my confusion, I had noticed, on first entering the room, that the old lady was wearing suspended from her neck, a small enamelled crucifix, and had instantly identified it and wondered not a little that she should be thus disporting herself in borrowed ornaments; but when Sylvia had arrived, behold, the original crucifix was hanging on its chain from her neck. From time to time during my recital my eyes had wandered from one to the other seeking some difference or variation but finding none, and at length my inquisitive glances caught the younger lady’s attention. “I can see. Dr. Jardine,” said she, “that you are eaten up with curiosity about the crucifix that my Aunt is wearing. Now confess. Aren’t you?”

  “I am,” I admitted. “When I first came in I naturally thought it was yours. Is it a copy?”

  “Certainly not,” said Miss Vyne, the elder. “T
hey are duplicates.”

  Sylvia laughed. “You’d better not talk about copies,” said she. “My aunt has only acquired her treasure lately, and she is as proud of it as a peacock; aren’t you, dear?”

  “The sensations of a peacock,” replied Miss Vyne,” are unknown to me. I am very gratified at possessing the ornament.”

  “Gratified indeed!” said Sylvia. “I consider such vanity most unsuitable to a person of your age. But they are very charming, and there is quite a little story attached to them. My father and a cousin of his—”

  “By marriage,” interposed Miss Vyne.

  “You needn’t insist on that,” said Sylvia, “as if poor old Vitalia were a person to be ashamed of. Well, my father and this cousin were at a Jesuit school in Belgium—at Louvain, in fact—and among the teachers in the school was an Italian Jesuit named Giglioli. Now the respected Giggley—”

  “—oli,” interposed Miss Vyne in a severe voice.

  “—oli,” continued Sylvia, “had formerly been a goldsmith; and the Father Superior, with that keen eye to the main chance which you may have noticed among professed religious, furnished him with a little workshop and employed him in making monstrances, thuribles and church plate in general. It was he who made these two crucifixes; and, with the Father Superior’s consent, he gave one to my father and the other to the cousin as parting gifts on their leaving school. As the boys were inseparable friends, the two crucifixes were made absolute duplicates of one another, with the single exception that each had the owner’s name engraved on the back. When my poor father died his crucifix became mine, and a short time ago, his cousin—who is now getting an old man—took a fancy that he would like the two crucifixes to be together once more and gave his to my aunt. So here they are, after all these years, under one roof again.”