by Rose Gordon
When not attempting to sleep, he'd been wearing a hole in the rug or ascending the stairs all the way to the top, only to force himself to turn around and go back downstairs to the parlor. This needed to be her decision; he'd said enough. He'd support her, but he would not goad her. If she didn't want to— No, he wouldn't even think of it. Laura would make the right decision; he was certain of it.
At precisely ten in the morning, he forced himself to leave the cottage they'd been sharing and hid himself away in the main house. He'd given firm instructions to the butler to alert him as soon as the duke and duchess arrived. Then, he'd gone up to his old room to wait.
Only, it was torturous to be up there as memories of their time together in that room the other day filled his mind no matter where he looked. The bed. The chair. Even the slightly wrinkled rug where she'd stood before him naked. He'd specifically requested the maids not straighten his room. Now he wished they had. Not that it would have mattered, he thought as he ran his fingers along the rumpled bedsheets. He still would have been reminded of her.
He jerked his eyes away from the stray long brown strand of hair on his pillow and fled the room in favor of the little room designated as the family sitting room.
Then he waited.
Finally at quarter past two, the note he'd been awaiting arrived.
He brushed off the butler, who was apologizing for taking so long to get the missive to him but had been unable to find him.
Henry didn't care about that. “Thank you, Johnson.” He took the incomplete missive he'd written earlier and jotted down a time, then handed it to Johnson. “If you'd be so kind as to take this missive to Her Grace, I'd be most appreciative.”
“Yes, sir,” the butler said with a bow.
Once he left the room, Henry scratched out another note, then sought out Beth and asked her to deliver it to Laura when she went to help her dress. He wanted to go but didn't wish to upset Laura in front of the maid and allow Beth the opportunity to have something to gossip about.
The next thirty minutes felt like thirty hours as Henry waited to go collect Laura.
And when he arrived in her room, those thirty minutes, that had seemed so long, felt like nothing compared to the hollow, empty feeling he got when he reached her room, only to find it devoid of any evidence she'd even been there.
His heart hammered in his chest as a terrible feeling engulfed him, sending every drop of blood straight to his feet. She'd gone? She'd gone. He hadn't thought she'd really leave.
He sank down on the edge of the bed, his emotions completely empty. She'd cared more for her own pride than she had for him. He'd have never suspected that of her. He thought— It didn't matter what he'd thought. She'd left.
He didn't know how long he'd sat there. Nor did he care. There was nothing left for him to care about.
Lightheaded and not as steady as he'd like, he rose from his sitting position and ambled down the stairs and out the door. That cottage was now another tainted place, one too full of her memory for him to stay.
Ignoring the queer looks he received from those he passed, he walked down the hall to Alex's study, intending to write yet another note. However, he was halted in his echoing tracks by the sight of a scowling duke standing by the open door of the yellow salon, the very room in which Henry had asked Madison to meet him so he could introduce her to his new wife.
Henry took another step closer and his heart raced faster than Zeus when the sound of two soft female voices floated from inside the room to his ears.
~Chapter Thirty-Six~
Laura's body was not heeding the commands of her brain, but rather those of her heart.
At least that's what it would seem when, instead of running for the stables and taking Dame, she found herself walking up to the door of the room she'd seen Madison enter from down the hall.
“Madison,” Laura whispered as soon as she stepped inside.
The other lady's head whipped around to face her, her blue eyes wide with what appeared to be fright. Not merely shock, but fright? Laura shook off the thought and took a step toward her.
Madison, who looked exactly how Laura remembered her, took to her feet, her hands resting on her stomach. Odd. But then again, the entire reason everyone had gathered early was because Madison was increasing. Perhaps pregnant women liked to place their hands on their stomachs.
She cleared her mind of the nonsense and licked her lips. “Madison, I just want to talk to you for a minute. I mean you no harm.”
Madison's lower lip trembled. “Where's Henry?”
“I don't know,” she admitted with a wobbly smile. “Looking for me, I suppose.” She pushed away the slight pang of disquiet that perhaps she should have brought Henry with her. No. Henry was right; this was for her to do. Not him. “Would you like to sit down?”
Madison shook her head. “No. I'll stand.”
Laura sighed. This wasn't what she'd expected. She hadn't expected Madison to be fearful of her. Laura's heart lurched. “Madison, I—I—I want to apologize.”
“Apologize?” Madison echoed, her tone emotionless.
“Yes,” Laura said with a nod. She took a seat on a nearby chair. “I have to admit, I've lived most of the past eight years being jealous of you. And for that, I am so very sorry.”
Madison didn't say anything in return, and Laura continued.
“I never meant to steal Robbie from you. We were betrothed before you and I even met.”
“You were?” she practically squeaked; her pale blue eyes searched Laura's face.
Laura nodded. “Mr. Swift was the younger son of the plantation owner who'd been my father's friend when the two were boys and whose plantation abutted ours. Of course, Mr. Swift, being the youngest and without anything to inherit, went to Brooklyn to make his way. When I was old enough to get married, my father took Mr. Swift's advice and brought me to New York. See, Father's health was declining and he wouldn't be able to keep up with the plantation much longer. With no sons, it was necessary that I marry before he died so my husband could inherit the plantation.
“Anyway, Mr. Swift convinced him I could make a better match in New York, which was likely right since there weren't many young men champing at the bit to court me in Georgia.” She shook her head and cleared her throat. Madison didn't care about all of that, she was sure of it. “We arrived two weeks before you and I first met. My family was staying with the Swifts, who were strongly pushing for a match between the two of us. Without scandalizing you with the sordid details, I must confess that an engagement became necessary before I'd stepped into a single ballroom.”
Madison nodded and sank down to the settee. Her eyes softer than before, reflecting what appeared to be concern. “I had no idea.”
“I didn't think you did. As you might imagine, Mr. Swift was pleased with the match because his entire family benefited greatly from it. Of course, he didn't want it to be known that his son was marrying an unheard of young lady from meager wealth, but rather was making a splendid match with a true southern belle from a wealthy, southern family, which is why I attended those balls where Robbie and I fawned all over each other. Mr. Swift wanted everyone to think it was a whirlwind courtship, not know the truth, that it was an engagement forged under fraudulent pretenses and cemented by his son's orchestrated ruination of an innocent.”
“That sounds like the Mr. Swift I remember,” she said with a bitter twist of her lips. “So you didn't love him, either, then?”
She frowned. “Love? I don't know about that. I was certainly swayed by his false compliments and easy charm enough to fall into his trap. I think over time it could have become love, at least on my part. It was rather obvious once we married that he didn't love me.” She shrugged and forced a sad smile. “But it didn't stop me from wishing...”
Madison offered her a wobbly smile in return. “He could be charming when he wanted to be, couldn't he?”
“Exactly. When he wanted to be.” Laura pressed her eyes closed to hold
in her emotion at the memory of how he'd been so charming before the wedding and then had turned into a fire-breathing dragon during the meal that followed. She sighed. “Nonetheless, he loved you something fierce.”
“No, he didn't,” Madison said with a scoff. “He might have wanted you to think he did, but I'd wager he didn't treat me any better than he treated you. He just wanted you to think he did.”
A sinking sensation started in the pit of her stomach. “But he spoke so highly of you.”
“And of you,” Madison returned, not unkindly. She mindlessly twisted a golden lock of hair around her index finger. “Anything he told you, that was a compliment to me and an insult to you, was likely reversed when he spoke to me. That's the kind of manipulative person he was.”
The sensation in her stomach grew stronger. “So when he came home late and suggested that you'd been warming his bed every night for the past six months, it wasn't true?”
Madison's eyes widened. “Heavens, no, I didn't suffer such a travesty every night for six months.” She flushed as crimson as the gown she wore at her outburst, then tucked that tendril of hair she'd been playing with behind her ear and broke Laura's gaze. She let out a deep breath. “It might not have been so often or for such a long spread of time, but when you made mention of me being loose with my affections and having something to show for it in a matter of months, you were not incorrect. I did do something foolish with Robbie, but he was not your husband then. Nor as often as he might have liked for you to believe.”
Laura's unease increased tenfold and a surge of bile shot up her throat. “Madison, I am so sorry. I didn't know. I scarcely believed at the time that any part of that was true. It was only because you vanished and went to England that I actually believed there was any merit to Robbie's remarks about your shared activities. Otherwise, I wouldn't have said anything. I was just so angry and you were right there and—” Her voice broke as waves of ragged emotion crashed over her. “That is no excuse and I am so sorry.”
Madison didn't respond and silence hung in the air between them as Laura's vision blurred with unshed tears.
One minute passed.
Then another.
And another.
“If you're interested in the whole truth, I should probably tell you that I did conceive Robbie's bastard,” Madison whispered at last, breaking the uncomfortable silence with something far more uncomfortable: spoken confirmation of just how grave the rift was between them. “I was so upset by what you said that I slipped on a patch of ice, fell down the stairs and miscarried. That's why we came here. It wasn't to escape a scandal you'd inadvertently created or a ploy to get Robbie back by making him chase me down. It was simply because I didn't know how I'd go on.”
And now, neither did Laura, knowing she'd been responsible for such a tragic thing. Her body began to tremble and then shake as everything sank in. She, and she alone, was at fault. Her stomach lurched, and likely if she'd eaten anything, she'd have expelled it.
“Don't,” Madison said, placing a gentle hand on Laura's shoulder. “For many years, I thought you knew. I didn't know that you didn't.”
“No, I didn't,” Laura sobbed. “I—I wouldn't have said anything if I had.”
“I know.” Madison swallowed audibly. “I believed for so long that you did, and perhaps that's because I wanted to believe you were the nasty villain who'd intended to hurt me. But I realize now that I was wrong.”
“No, you're not,” Laura choked. “I did want to hurt you. I wanted to embarrass you that day so my husband would lose interest and later—” a sob caught in her throat— “later I wanted to hurt you. That's why I came here.”
Madison squeezed Laura's arm softly. “You were hurting. I understand that.” She sniffed and took a deep breath. “I might not have wanted to always believe that, but enough time has passed that I see now what I couldn't before. I was so overwhelmed with sadness in the weeks that followed my fall that I had no idea how or if I'd ever enjoy life again. I won't lie; I was angry with Robbie, and for a long time, I blamed you. But it wasn't worth it. Blaming someone else wouldn't change anything. In my hurry, it was me who forgot to grab the banister when I knew the steps were icy. It wasn't intentional. It was an accident. And I have to acknowledge that if that accident didn't happen, I wouldn't have the life I do now.” A slim, watery smile spread her lips. “That doesn't mean that I wouldn't have made the best of my situation; I would have. But what some call fate and others—such as my father and brother-in-law—call Divine Intervention stepped in and blessed me beyond measure. While I'll always have a spot in my heart for the child I lost, I am ever grateful for the husband and children I do have.”
“Y-you d-don't hate me?”
Madison gave her head a simple shake. “No. I'll admit I was a bit unnerved when you walked in, but I don't hate you. It seems there were quite a few things that we each assumed about the other.”
“Perhaps had we met under different circumstances, we could have been friends,” Laura said sadly, knowing there was little chance of that now.
“What do you mean could have been?” She furrowed her brow. “Didn't you marry Henry? That makes us family now.”
Laura stared at her blankly. Did that mean Madison held no grudges and didn't despise her?
“You must know that being in this family means, although one person might not like another, we always love them.”
“But what I did—what I'd planned to do by coming here—”
“Stop.” Madison lifted a hand in the air to halt Laura's words. “I don't care about that. I'm often reminded that who we are and what we become is shaped by the experiences we've had—both good and bad. I wouldn't know and truly understand what a good husband I have and what it means to be in love with someone who returns my love in full measure. Nor would I know what it's like to have a family with him had I not had the past experiences that I did. I suspect you'll soon find the same. It's hard to accept at first; trust me when I say that I know that. I pushed my husband away at every turn because I didn't know what genuine love was; but you don't need to do that.
“It might take a bit for you to feel comfortable in the room with my entire family, but you will.” She let out a weak snort. “Just ask my husband if you need confirmation. He thought for years that everyone hated him, and don't get me wrong, he'd given them plenty of reason to do so. And from time to time, he and my sister's husband have disagreements or verbally spar; but when the sun is setting and the day is over, there is no hatred, only love and laughter. That's what being part of a family, or at least this one, is all about.”
Laura's heart ached to be part of such a family, one that loved everyone in spite of their flaws and was devoid of any malice.
“Besides,” Madison continued, “just as I would have loved Benjamin, even if nobody else had, I think Henry feels quite the same about you.”
“You think?” she asked hopefully.
“Of course I do.” Madison looked up. “If he didn't love you and trust you with all of his being, he'd have never arranged for this private meeting, knowing he'd have to endure Benjamin's wrath if you said even the slightest thing to upset me.”
“Indeed,” said two masculine voices behind Laura.
Slowly, she turned around to see Henry and another tall blond man, presumably the duke, coming into the room.
“Benjamin,” Madison said, standing. “I'd like for you to meet an old friend from New York, and Henry's new bride, Laura Banks.”
Without hesitation, Benjamin bowed. When he straightened, he met his wife's eyes and something flickered and then softened in his. “It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Banks. Congratulations on your recent marriage.” He walked over to his wife and placed her hand in the crook of his elbow. “Now, if the two of you will excuse us, I promised my wife that I'd tell her the details of the moon's orbital pattern before dinnertime; and I'd hate to be a cad and break my promise.”
His wife blushed and grinned as they left the room t
ogether, leaving Laura alone with Henry.
“You were right,” Laura said with a sigh. “I'm sorry for not trusting you sooner.”
Henry didn't say anything, just took a step closer to her.
“I'm sorry for leaving without you to come here. I hope you're not angry with me.”
“I'm not,” he whispered. “I'm the furthest thing from angry.”
A shiver ran over her.
Henry closed the gap between them. “Laura, I love you. I'm so glad you stayed.”
“I love you, too. And I'll stay with you forever, Henry. You're the only thing I've ever had that's been worth fighting for.”
“Am I?”
“Oui.” She smiled at him. “Viens ici que je te saute.”
~Epilogue~
Three Years Later
Henry unfolded the perfumed vellum he'd found in the drawing room when he'd returned from taking Zeus for a ride.
Find me! I have exciting news to share!
L
Henry stuffed her note into his breast pocket and began to wander around the house. The last five times she'd left one of these, it was to announce they were going to be made an aunt and uncle again. It would seem members of his family would benefit greatly from that candid discussion Alex always alluded to.
Not that Henry and Laura minded. They loved to play the role of the favorite aunt and uncle. With no children of their own, they were able to spoil everyone else's and then send them away to annoy their parents and nursemaids.
Henry opened all the doors and poked his head inside each room. Usually, when she played these games and hid from him, he'd find her in their bedchamber. On top of the bed. Naked. But he still liked to humor her by pretending to search the house and to be surprised to find her in such a manner.
“Laura?” he asked, poking his head into their bedchamber.