Romana's Freedom (Soul Merge Saga Book 1)

by M. P. A. Hanson

  She dipped her hand in and pulled it back out, unused to the sucking sensation. Might as well get it over with, she thought, taking a deep breath, she stepped through.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  EXPLOSIVE

  Romana looked out the window at the sprawling forest before her. Endis hadn’t lied. The sprawling city of Elvardis was displayed in all its winter glory. Snow fell from leaves the size of a fully grown human and covered the ground, but it did nothing to cool the blazing terror flowing through her veins.

  Today she’d gotten a message from Keenan telling her that Marten was planning a trip to Elvardis, the day after the mark had finally faded from her neck. She knew that he’d felt the mark fade, and eventually disappear. She’d asked Endis to confirm that Marten was visiting. The answer; she wasn’t allowed to know, and she wasn’t allowed to leave.

  Ok, so maybe she was being a little cowardly. But could anyone blame her? She didn’t want to be bitten again, and she most certainly didn’t want to be his possession. Plus, if it came to a battle of strength, she knew she wouldn’t win, she just wasn’t skilled enough, and from what she’d heard Marten now trained with elvenstrength and elvenspeed daily, probably with the best instructors available.

  She’d been training as well. Most of the time, she taunted Endis into giving her a sparring session, and picked up moves he used against her. She wouldn’t be marked, but she wasn’t ready yet.

  Then there was Katelyn, who’d taken to life here a little too well. Last week Romana had been forced to save the little girl when she’d tried to follow her friends across a river, not realising that without elvensense she wouldn’t have the balance or speed to cross the stones. Romana wanted her back in Morendor, where there were human children who were just as delicate as her, and a little tamer than the mischievous, nimble young elves.

  She was torn between two worlds, the world of her people, which was turning out to be everything she’d ever dreamed of, and the world of humans, which, while far from perfect, was far less dangerous for her friend.

  So now she stood in her room, surrounded by the luxuries of possibly the longest reigning royal family ever to walk the world. In one of the best rooms in the palace tree and of all the things she could be, she was unhappy.

  Unhappy was a shocker. Because she knew why she was sad; Marten wasn’t here, and while her peoples’ efficiency and calm way of life was pleasant to her senses, and spoke to her soul, she missed the prince with blue-as-the-ocean-eyes that traded barbs with her. She missed the way he was overprotective to a fault, even if it made her prickle to accept his protection. She missed the way he’d constantly surprise her, and the way he actually seemed to care. Hell she just missed Marten, and it was annoying the hell out of her.

  “Marchioness Romana?” Someone called from the doorway, which she’d left open.

  “Yes?” She replied, wondering if it was a servant or another lord, but not looking away from the window.

  “You’ve been invited for dinner in two hours time on the sky terrace.” Ah, a servant then, she figured.

  “With whom?” She asked.

  “I believe it was Prince Endis who sent the invitation.” The servant replied, and she finally turned to look at him.

  He was dressed like all of the palace servants here, white tunic, long black trousers, and the royal oak-leaf symbol stamped in gold across his front. He bowed when he saw he had become the subject of her scrutiny even though she’d heard him do the same upon entering the room.

  “Would you inform him that I will be up shortly?”

  “Of course, my lady.”

  “Thank-you.” She turned back to the window, knowing that she should get changed for dinner, yet at the same time, captivated by the swirling flakes.

  In the end she moved towards her wardrobe where Jasmine and Alice were already working on the dress for that evening.

  “It’s only dinner.” She protested when they began to dig out jewellery for her.

  “No milady. We’ve been ordered to have you looking beautiful.”

  “Why? And by who?”

  “By Prince Endis, of course. It’s supposed to be an important dinner.”

  “But I didn’t even wear anything this fine for meeting Queen Hira.” Romana protested.

  “We’re following orders milady, even you can’t countermand a prince.”

  “Very well then.” She replied “But there better be a good reason for this or I’m stripping Endis’ hide tonight.”

  The girls chuckled, or Jasmine did, while Alice simply smiled, but then became serious as they began to pull, squeeze and shimmy her into a white corset, and a long sleeved white petticoat, which showed plenty of skin considering that it was winter.

  The next thing to go on were the two shorter petticoats, and then the customary fine net cover, which turned out to be white with plenty of elaborate silver swirls that diminished in number the further down the dress you went. Next to go on were her diamonds and moonstones, an expensive and lavish jewellery set created for her by a designer who’d taken inspiration from her masquerade ball gown. On top of that went an elaborate hairpiece embellished with the same stones. Her skin was brushed with a hint of silver blue powder.

  “You look just like a snow queen.” Jasmine murmured while applying the make up onto her face.

  When she was finished, she made her way to the sky terrace, one of the most magnificent rooms in the palace.

  The floor of the terrace was a solid branch of oak, like most of the branch rooms, but this room was above the cloud layer, and magically protected from the weather by a transparent shield. In short, it was the highest room in the palace, and as you would expect, it had the best view.

  She walked up the stairwell that spiralled through the heart of the tree as far as possible, and then swapped to one of the outside staircases that ascended the branch which housed the sky terrace. When she reached the top however, it was not Prince Endis waiting for her.

  It was Marten.

  He was standing with his back to her and a table set for two, she turned to try and leave before he noticed her, but then ran into an invisible barrier.

  She saw Nathan at the bottom of the staircase, Endis beside him, and both of them grinning. She mouthed a death threat at both of them before turning around.

  To find Marten looking straight at her.

  She stared back at him, refusing to back down, all the while using the hand behind her back to punch at the barrier as unobtrusively as possible. But he noticed, just as she noticed when he grimaced in response.

  “Romana…” He began, trailing off, obviously trying to find where to begin.

  “Sorry is a start.” She volunteered.

  “You know I am, I’m so sorry that I’ll do anything you ask of me to prove it. I tried to stay in control, and I didn’t mean to… you know…”

  “Bite me?” She guessed. “You seemed like you meant it when you tore my neck to shreds, the way it stayed for almost a month.”

  “And I got cut up for doing so.” He replied “Which I probably deserved.”

  “I saw.” She replied “I cleaned you up afterwards.”

  “I heard.” He replied. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

  “It was my choice.” She replied, surprised that the conversation wasn’t already an argument. “Why are you here? Did Endis ask you to come?” The other prince had been very sensitive to her moods lately, and he might have picked up on the loneliness that she’d so carefully hidden.

  “No, I asked him” He replied. “I know the mark faded—”

  “And what? You thought you should try to do it again?”

  “No!” He replied. “I even had Nathan put a spell on the terrace; I can’t change even the slightest here. I know the mark faded, and I wanted to see you.”

  “Why?” She demanded.

  “Because I missed you.” He replied, the stark honesty blazing from his eyes as he dropped that sentence. “Just tell me you never want
to see me again, tell me you never want to hear my name and I’ll go, and I promise you will never have to stand my presence for the rest of my life. But if you missed me too, even just a little bit, and you tell me, then I will never stop until I find away to have you back in Morendor where I can keep you safe.”

  She stayed silent, but ceased her banging on the barrier. Because she had missed him, and it was only when he was here that she realised the extent of that loneliness that had enveloped her. Right now, he was giving her the power to get rid of him forever, or have him with her for the rest of his life.

  “What if you try to mark me again?” She asked.

  “I won’t. I promise, I’ll get the entire of Morendor spelled if I have to, but I won’t do it without your permission. My control has been increasing exponentially over my animal because of lessons with Endis every week.” He was close to begging now, all this for one word.

  She quieted again, unsure about what to say. He wasn’t asking her to come back to Morendor, but the result of her next words would affect her life forever, she realised, because what he was seeking sounded like a lot more than friendship, even if she didn’t really want it to go past that stage.

  “Yes.” She said, she’d deal with everything else later. “I missed you. I missed you a lot actually.” He looked like he’d just won the inter-species lottery. “But you still have a lot of persuading to do before you get me back to Morendor.”

  “Then it’s a good thing I arranged for dinner.” Marten replied, walking over to her at elvenspeed and hugging her, breathing in her scent. She froze at the contact, but he noticed her fear and broke away. “Hell I missed you.”

  “What is there to miss?” She asked.

  “Everything. The bluntness of our conversation, your sarcasm, your scent, the way you talk to me as if I’m a normal person I even missed the times you bang on my door at five in the morning to demand I give you privacy.”

  “All my good points I see.”

  He laughed. “See? That’s what I mean.”

  “You’re not forgiven yet.” She informed him. “I expect some serious apologies for that bite. Turtlenecks are not in style, y’know.” She was so comfortable around him that at the last moment her slave slang came back to her and she almost put her hand across her mouth as if to force the coarse street words back in.

  “Come back to Morendor and I’ll apologise daily.”

  She sighed, knowing that this was one of many bribes to come. “What’s been happening since I left?” She asked as he waved her over to a seat at the table.

  “Silver’s attacks against the gang have increased, but we’re beginning to find tattooed men and women of all species in the marketplace, which is disturbing. Our first dead giant took three hours to move. Ancients help us if she takes down a dragon in the square next.”

  Romana had known Silver had been going to Morendor and back each night, but the extent of her activities was a shock, and she let the emotion play across her face, continuing to distance herself from Silver.

  “Hana is complaining at me for ‘moping’.” He continued. “She enlisted the help of the other maids and together they practically shoved me through the portal.”

  “Oh dear, you must have been awful.”

  “Looking back I think I was.” He replied. “Hana accused me of, and I quote ‘being a royal example of a complete idiot with no spine and a depressed streak to rival any mourning person.’ After the attack on my honour I had no choice but to ask Endis for an audience with you, and save myself and my staff.”

  “I find it hard to believe I have that much of an effect on you.”

  “Oh, believe it.” He replied “I was snappy at the entire guard from the moment I woke up to find you gone. Your note had me a second away from coming straight here and demanding you come back with me.”

  He quieted as uniformed elves came in with the appetizers, but when they left she was the first to speak.

  “I wanted time away from you; you have to know that I am not yours Marten. I can’t be owned, not by anyone. You treated me like your possession that evening; I can’t let anyone have that much control over me.”

  “Have you ever thought that if you gave someone that control, then you’d have the same power over them as well?” He paused, as if thinking. “Or are you just scared?”

  “Excuse me?” She asked, not sure if she’d heard him correctly.

  “You’re scared of being touched in any way that invites intimacy, so scared that it all but freezes you to stone. Are you scared of being in a trusting relationship with anyone?”

  “I am not scared.” She replied indignantly.

  “Then why do you freeze up?” He asked. “Is touching me that painful?”

  “No.” She replied, her tone making it clear he should drop the subject. But Marten being Marten, he didn’t.

  “Then why?”

  “Why does it matter?”

  “Because I want to be your friend, and you’re blocking me at every turn.”

  “I don’t think that’s a valid reason.”

  “Romana, don’t make me pull in a favour and force you to tell me.”

  “Well you’re going to have to; I won’t tell you if I can help it.”

  “Why?”

  “I’m not answering until you use one of the two favours I owe you to force me into this.” She informed him, finishing the appetiser and pushing her plate away from her.

  “I’m using one of the two favours you have given me to ask for honest and full answers to all questions I ask tonight.” Aww hell, she hadn’t thought he’d actually do it. “My first question is this: why do you become frozen with fear at the prospect of touching another person?”

  She had no choice but to answer him.

  “When I was in the Slave Shop, and I had just reached my maturity, I tried to run away.”

  “Understandable.” The prince replied.

  “But I made a mistake.” Romana added. “I tried to take Katelyn with me.”

  “She was seen?”

  “She was four, and she didn’t understand that she had to be quiet. As I ran along the corridors at the speed I’d only just learned to use, she began to start talking about life outside the Slave Shop as I ran. I stopped to tell her to be quiet, and I was seen by the guards.” She’d tried to fight them off, but there had been over twenty of them guarding the gate. “I begged the slave master to let me accept Katelyn’s punishment. He agreed on one condition, I was to spend the next three weeks in the fifth chamber on the second floor with him.” She shuddered, and became silent while servants served up the main courses.

  “Why that room?” The prince asked, his tone becoming dangerous, and it was clear that even though the terrace was charmed, his animal was restless.

  “That room is the room where the desert dons try out their pleasure slaves.” She forced out. “Only most of the desert dons are very extreme in their tastes. Room five is equipped for that.”

  “What did he do to you?” Marten growled.

  “Are you sure the spell is working?” She asked. “You sound very close to your animal.”

  “It’s working.” He replied “What did he do?”

  “He never took me because I was much better value if I was kept ‘unsoiled’ as he put it.” The very word felt dirty on her tongue, but she pushed the feeling away, tried to pretend she was telling a story that had happened to someone else. “But he did everything else he could. He used the favour to make me be co-operative for his sick little games. The things he said, the constant pain and humiliation, the fear; it comes back to me every time I touch anyone now.” She held up a hand to push Marten back when he looked like he wanted to come and comfort her. “I hug someone, and suddenly I’m back in that room, and he’s hugging me before he pushes me into another round of pain. I kiss someone, and suddenly I’m strapped up, kept chained in a tiny cage in his office while he’s working.” She looked at his expression, and found herself hating the sympathy. “Don
’t you dare pity me!” She practically yelled at him “I can’t regret saving Katelyn the pain of twenty lashes. I’d do it again. You want to know why I won’t allow trust? Because if I give another person my loyalty, it’s just another person I can and will suffer for in the future.”

  “Romana I—”

  “Have you finished your questions Prince Marten?” She asked, feeling the tears sting her eyes as her voice became icy cold. “Because if you don’t mind I believe I shall take my leave. I’d appreciate your silence in this matter.” She had never wanted anyone to know; even Katelyn was too young to remember.

  She stood up, ignoring the half eaten meal, and walked towards the stairs, when she saw Nathan at the bottom, waiting to release the spell. Her expression must have convinced him to let her out, as he began muttering and a millisecond later she was free and running from the palace tree, her near invisible speed fuelled by shame and tears.

  She breezed from Elvardis, past the city of giant trees, and through the untamed forest away from the sounds of civilization, until the sounds of conversation from the palace were mere whispers to even her elvenhearing. She focused on finding Marten, knowing she had to see if he would spill her secret to anyone else.

  “…what went wrong?” Endis’ voice drifted to her first.

  “I asked something she didn’t want anyone to know.”

  “And she answered?”

  “No, I used a favour to force her to. Hell, I should never have asked. She’s never going to trust me again.”

  “I heard her go past the limits of my hearing a few minutes ago.” Endis informed him. “What did you ask?”

  “I can’t tell you.”

  “Why?” Endis asked.

  “I won’t give away her secrets.” He replied, earning him some brownie points.

  “I own one of your favours too Marten.”

  “From when we were children, I remember. But Endis, if you want me to go to my knees and beg, then I will, but I won’t tell you, no matter what the Ancients will do for me for discarding my word.”