Feels Like Home

by Rowan McAllister

  “Hell yeah!”

  Jeremy grabbed his hand and quickly led him out of the kitchen and up the stairs. They passed the bathroom and the guest room he’d napped in and hurried further down the hall, until Jeremy stopped at the last door and opened it. When he switched on the light, Paul only got a brief glimpse of a slightly untidy but well-decked-out bedroom before Jeremy was on him again, and he decided that he didn’t give a shit what the place looked like as long as he could find a horizontal surface as quickly as possible. Their sweatshirts were pulled off and tossed aside in between kisses and stumbling steps to the bed. They broke apart long enough to shuck their sweatpants, laughing as they both stumbled because they were hurrying too much, and then they were skin to skin, rolling around on Jeremy’s unmade bed, trying to touch each other everywhere at once.

  When Paul finally rolled Jeremy under him and broke away from another searing kiss long enough to catch his breath, he propped himself on his elbows and just looked down at the sexy man pinned beneath him. Jeremy’s cheeks were still bright red beneath his glasses, his hair was rumpled and a little damp with sweat, and his lean chest was rising and falling rapidly with every breath. Jeremy reached up to pull him back down, but Paul grabbed his wrists and pinned them to the bed. He held Jeremy’s gaze as he started a slow grind of his hips, rubbing their cocks together sensuously but without their earlier frenzy. He needed to slow down if he was going to be any good at all, and he wanted to see every expression that moved across Jeremy’s face. He also wanted to be able to hear every moan and gasp, and he couldn’t do that with blood pounding in his ears.

  Paul didn’t really understand where the compulsion to see and absorb every detail of Jeremy’s reactions came from, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to waste time thinking about it at that moment. He just knew he wanted to watch Jeremy lose it more than he wanted to get off himself, and that was a bit of a first for him.

  As Jeremy stared up at him, looking a little confused, Paul let go of his wrists and dragged his nails through the tight curls on the other man’s scalp, gripping his neck and tilting his head to the side so he could nibble and suck. Jeremy moaned and whimpered in his ear, wrapping his long legs around Paul’s hips and grinding his ass against Paul’s cock. It suddenly became extremely difficult for Paul to concentrate on anything other than the feel of his cockhead sliding along the man’s crack.

  Why exactly did he want to go slow again?

  Before he could get enough blood back to his brain to answer that question, Jeremy was wiggling beneath him and reaching over his head with those long elegant arms to dig in his nightstand. Jeremy never stopped the mind-numbing movement of his hips, so Paul still wasn’t thinking too clearly, but he got the hint that Jeremy was impatient when his wrist was gripped tightly and a condom was pressed into his palm. Paul chuckled and nipped Jeremy’s shoulder before sitting back on his haunches and grabbing the bottle of lube the other man had placed on the bed.

  Paul had wanted to go slow enough to impress Jeremy, but he also liked a man who knew what he wanted. It saved him having to guess. He tore open the condom with his teeth and rolled it on one-handed before popping the cap on the lube and slicking himself and Jeremy up. He took his time teasing and stroking Jeremy’s opening, enjoying the needy little moans and pants, until Jeremy propped himself on his elbows and gave Paul a look that screamed “Hurry up already!”

  Jeremy’s urgency was contagious, and Paul was pressing slowly inside almost before he realized it. Jeremy had relaxed his grip on Paul’s hips to allow him better access, but now that Paul was finally inside, Jeremy’s legs came back up and wrapped tightly around him, squeezing him with all that lean muscle, urging him on. Paul didn’t need any more encouragement. He set a slow, steady rhythm, angling his thrusts with care and trying to think about anything that would help him last longer. He really wanted to see Jeremy come unglued before he lost it completely, but he wasn’t sure he was going to make it that long.

  As he moved inside Jeremy, Paul watched the other man’s sweat bead on the skin of his chest and pool in the valleys of his muscles and his belly button. Paul wanted to taste, but he’d never been that flexible, so he just had to be satisfied with sliding his hands through it, watching it slick Jeremy’s skin. When Jeremy threw his head back and gasped, trembling and clenching around him, Paul knew he had to be close, so he slid forward on the bed, wrapped his hand around Jeremy’s cock, and punctuated each stroke of his hand with quick short thrusts inside him, listening as the gasps got truly frantic. Paul wasn’t faring much better himself. It took all the concentration he had to keep up the rhythm with his hand and his hips, so when Jeremy finally let go, crying out and shooting warm and wet between their bodies and over Paul’s hand, Paul followed so quickly after that their climaxes were almost simultaneous.

  When they were both completely spent, Jeremy released the death grip his legs had on Paul’s hips and Paul collapsed on the mattress beside him, panting. It took him a little while to dredge up the energy to find a wastebasket to dispose of the condom, and thankfully Jeremy had one of the towels from earlier on the floor next to his bed, so Paul didn’t have to go searching for one to wipe off with before they could snuggle up and pass out.

  He was proud of himself that he had just enough energy and common courtesy to ask, “Is this okay?” before he really settled in for the night. He didn’t really want to get up, but if Jeremy didn’t want him there, he would.

  “Of course,” Jeremy mumbled sleepily before wiggling backward until he was spooned up against Paul’s chest. Paul smiled happily and scooted until his head was on the same pillow as Jeremy’s. He pulled the blankets over them both before surrendering to sleep.

  Chapter Five

  Jeremy woke up way too early the next morning, but the feel of Paul’s hard, warm body behind him made even that ungodly hour seem pleasant. He’d forgotten how nice it was to wake up in someone’s arms. Byron hadn’t been much of a nighttime snuggler, so Jeremy had gone without for a really long time. At that particular moment, Jeremy was pretty sure that lack of snuggling was going to have to be on his list of deal-breakers in the future, because he was enjoying it way too much. Paul was holding onto him like Jeremy was his favorite teddy bear, and Jeremy had to admit he was eating it up.

  Unwilling to give up on that feeling just yet, he closed his eyes against the weak gray light reflecting off the snow outside, ignored the mild twinge in his bladder, and relaxed back into sleep. When he woke for the second time, he was alone in bed, and he had to quickly suppress the sharp stab of disappointment. It was stupid to get his hopes up about Paul when they hadn’t even known each other for even a full day yet. It was Jeremy who’d encouraged Paul to stay, Jeremy who’d initiated their kiss, and Jeremy who’d pulled Paul upstairs for sex. Sure, Paul had seemed more than willing to go along for the ride, but that didn’t mean they were attached at the hip or anything. One night of fabulous sex did not a relationship make.

  Jeremy grabbed his glasses, which had somehow made it to the nightstand, rolled out of bed, and stumbled to the window, hissing as his bare feet left the rug and connected with bare wood. He peeked out the window down at the snow-covered street and relaxed a little. The plows hadn’t been through more than once during the night, so there was still a hefty amount of snow on the road—too much to drive through—and that meant that Paul couldn’t have left yet. Not that Jeremy thought that Paul would sneak out without saying goodbye, but…. Well, Jeremy hadn’t had his coffee yet and he was going to blame his irrational angst on that.

  He padded back to his dresser and pulled out the first pair of pajama bottoms he found, shivering in the chill of the room. When he noticed which pair he had, he almost put them back and grabbed something else, but seeing them didn’t hurt quite as much as he expected, so he went ahead and put them on. He grabbed a clean sweatshirt, pulled on his slippers, and made his way downstairs.

  Even before he reached the bottom of the steps, he smelled coffee bre
wing and ham frying, and he smiled in delight. Paul was making him breakfast? God, could this man be any more perfect? Jeremy took a second at the bottom of the steps to calm the little flutter in his heart. He knew almost nothing about Paul other than the fact that he was fantastic in bed and knew how to be sweet, really sweet, but telling your heart to be rational when it was aching for something or someone wonderful wasn’t always easy, and making it listen was even harder.

  Play it cool, dork, or you’re going to scare him away before you can even get laid for a second time.

  Jeremy squared his shoulders and ran a hand over his face to make sure there wasn’t any sleep drool on his chin or sand in his eyes before walking into the kitchen as casually as possible. He knew that his pretentions of coolness were a complete failure the second Paul’s eyes dropped to his pajama bottoms and the man raised his eyebrows and snorted.

  Jeremy was pretty sure he went scarlet at that point. How he’d ever thought he’d look cool and casual while wearing pants with moose heads and “Merry Chrismoose” written all over them was beyond him, but it was too late now. He really should have thought that choice out a little better.

  “Uh, they were kind of a family tradition,” Jeremy said, hoping his face didn’t look as red as it felt.

  “Oh?” Paul said innocently, obviously trying to hide a grin.

  Jeremy rolled his eyes and chuckled, giving up on trying to be cool. “Yeah, my mom made them every year for us to wear while we spent Christmas morning on the couch, watching old Christmas cartoons and movies,” Jeremy replied.

  Paul’s smile turned a little wicked as the man set down his spatula and sauntered up to Jeremy. “They’re cute, especially on you,” he said before wrapping his arm around Jeremy’s waist and pulling him in for a kiss. Jeremy sank into it gratefully. He didn’t know what exactly they were doing, other than the physical part, but he was more than willing to enjoy it while it lasted.

  Paul broke away too soon for Jeremy’s liking, but he supposed the man had good reason, because the ham was starting to smell a little burned. Jeremy shuffled to the coffee pot, poured himself a cup, and refilled Paul’s while the man got the ham out of the pan and cracked in some eggs. Jeremy relaxed against the counter and watched Paul cook for a while as he sipped his coffee. He was pretty sure he could watch Paul’s hands for hours, even if he wasn’t groggy from lack of caffeine. Remembering how good those hands had felt on him made him shiver a little, and he wondered how soon he’d be able to have that again without seeming too pushy or desperate.

  “I hope you don’t mind, but I started a load of laundry while you were asleep,” Paul said as he fixed plates for both of them.

  His voice woke Jeremy out of his preoccupation with those hands, and he tried not to look sheepish as he said, “No problem. I’m sure you’d like to have your own clothes.”

  “Particularly if I’m going to be doing some serious shoveling today,” Paul agreed as he carried the plates to the table and sat down.

  Jeremy dropped into the chair next to him and tried not to dwell on the fact that Paul would be leaving as soon as he could dig his car out. They hadn’t really done a whole hell of a lot of talking, and Jeremy was a little afraid to ruin what time they had left by starting the possibly awkward morning-after conversation. He didn’t want to come off as clingy, but if he didn’t say anything at all, then he might miss his chance.

  Jeremy quelled his angst and set to eating breakfast before he could say anything stupid. He had a few hours, at least, before they could dig out Paul’s car. Once he’d had his coffee and woken up a little more, he’d think of something to say that didn’t sound whiny or desperate. Hopefully.

  “Thank you for doing this. Breakfast is great,” Jeremy said between mouthfuls, and Paul just shrugged and smiled.

  “It was the least I could do.” Paul paused and just looked at him for several seconds until Jeremy started to wonder if he had egg on his face or something. Paul’s smile turned a little shy, and he said, “Besides, you looked so sweet all curled up and warm under the blankets that I hated to wake you, and I woke up starving. Must have been the exercise.”

  Jeremy smirked and flushed at the compliment. Okay, Paul was still flirting with him, so that had to be a good sign, right? Jeremy was just trying to decide if he could convince Paul to go back to bed when a buzzer sounded through the basement door.

  “Oh good. That should mean my clothes are dry,” Paul said, and to Jeremy’s disappointment he took his plate to the sink and disappeared down the basement steps.

  Jeremy sighed. In all honesty, he probably shouldn’t even be trying to cultivate a relationship when he was so angsty and morose because of Christmas. He wasn’t normally anywhere near this emo, but he wasn’t exactly at his best at the moment.

  Paul came back up the stairs just as Jeremy finished putting the cleaned plates away. “Hey, I would’ve done that once I was done with my laundry,” Paul said.

  “You cooked. It just a couple of plates and a pan, no big deal,” Jeremy said as he turned to smile at the man. He was feeling very domestic at the moment with Paul carrying laundry and him cleaning up in the kitchen. He shouldn’t be this comfortable with someone he just met. He really shouldn’t.

  Paul returned his smile, set his small stack of clothes on one of the kitchen chairs, and strolled over to him. He slid an arm around Jeremy’s waist as he said, “I wouldn’t want to wear out my welcome.”

  Jeremy draped his arms around Paul’s neck and smiled, trying to convey all the happiness such a simple gesture gave him without using words. “I don’t think you need to worry about that anytime soon.”

  They kissed gently at first, but it quickly deepened as they pulled each other close and let their hands start to roam. The sound of the plow making its way down his street was a dose of cold water for Jeremy, and he pulled back reluctantly. Putting on a brave face, he said, “Looks like we’ve been rescued.”

  Paul’s arms were still wrapped around him, and it was gratifying to know that he didn’t seem in any kind of hurry to let go, even though Jeremy figured he probably wanted to get to shoveling soon. Jeremy forced himself to relax in Paul’s arms and decided not to think anymore. He was being a spaz and he needed to stop overreacting to every little thing Paul did or didn’t do. It was just stupid. If the thought police could hear him now, they really would revoke his man-card.

  “Is something wrong?” Paul asked.

  “I was just thinking about all the snow waiting to be shoveled. I usually do my neighbor’s steps and section of the sidewalk, too, since she’s about ninety years old and lives alone. I think I’m going to get a workout today,” Jeremy lied.

  “Yeah, me too. Especially since I think the plow just completely buried my car.” Paul chuckled, but he was still searching Jeremy’s face a little too intently for comfort.

  Jeremy cleared his throat and gave the man a peck on the cheek to distract him. “Why don’t you hit the shower, and I’ll see what I can find in the way of shovels and gloves for us?”

  “Okay.” Paul looked a little puzzled, but he stepped away, picked up his clothes, and headed for the stairs.

  Jeremy watched him for a moment and then made his way to the basement to find the shovels. He did his best to ignore the boxes of Christmas decorations while he was down there, but he was only marginally successful, and it didn’t help his mood. After he dragged the shovels upstairs and propped them by the front door, he dug out some extra gloves from a box in the coat closet and then stood at the bottom of the stairs, wondering what he should do next.

  The sound of the shower running and the images it presented in his mind were pretty distracting, so Jeremy stopped worrying and just followed his first impulse. He climbed the stairs two at a time, gave a quick knock on the bathroom door, and peeked his head around it when Paul said, “Yeah?”

  “Do you mind company?”

  A wet and grinning Paul pulled back the shower curtain, revealing acres of beautiful wet sk
in. “I thought you’d never ask.”

  Jeremy was out of his Christmas jammies and into the shower in about two seconds flat. As soon as Paul’s arms wrapped around him, he thought, I come up with the best ideas when I stop thinking. I should really do it more often.

  What followed was a warm, wet, slippery interlude of heated kisses, soapy hands, and frantic frottage that left them both weak-kneed and gasping for breath in the steamy air. The hot water ran out about the same time they finished, and they both scrambled out of the shower, laughing and dripping all over the floor. It occurred to Jeremy how natural it felt being with Paul like that. He wasn’t embarrassed, and despite his fears and angst, nothing seemed awkward between them when he just relaxed and spent time with the man.

  When they were toweled off, Jeremy gave Paul a last peck and went to his room to find clothes while Paul got dressed. The sex helped improve his mood considerably. They still hadn’t really talked, but he was pretty sure he could at least get a phone number before Paul left. He couldn’t really expect much more than that at this point, anyway. He’d worry about the rest of Christmas weekend after Paul was gone.

  When they were both bundled up in their coats and gloves and armed with shovels, they pushed their way through the snow on his steps and set to work clearing the sidewalk in front of his house. Some of Jeremy’s neighbors were already out, and they exchanged greetings and cheerful grumbling before getting back to work. With two people, the sidewalk wasn’t hard to get clear, but looking at the giant pile of snow that was once Paul’s car, Jeremy was pretty sure they were going to have their work cut out for them freeing it from its snowy tomb.

  Paul groaned and leaned on his shovel, staring at his car in dismay until Jeremy put a hand on his shoulder and said, “I think we need another cup of coffee before we tackle that. What do you think?”