Determination

by Angela B. Macala-Guajardo

  Between them and the water floated what looked like a white-glowing seed the size of a car. Green-glowing lines of light crisscrossed it like a net and gathered at the base, reaching into the ground like a tree trunk. Maybe the green light was rooting the seed in place.

  Sekiro stopped before it and presented the seed with an outstretched hand. “This is Nero. Roxie, come touch the energy. He’s so old that he doesn’t have a set form. Interacting with him will give him a shape you can comprehend.” She stepped aside. “Go ahead. You’re the one who needs his help.”

  Alright. She didn’t understand how Nero couldn’t have a set form but she wasn’t going to question it. Maybe he’d explain it if they had the time. Letting go of Aerigo’s hand, she stepped forward and reached up. She grit her teeth, expecting the energy to be as frozen as almost everything else in this realm. To her relief, the seed felt as warm as an incubated egg. She pressed both hands to the seed and it emitted a ding like the toll of a large bell. The green tendrils began pulsing and flowing upwards.

  Sekiro clasped Roxie’s arm and pulled her back. “That’s all you needed to do.” Together they backed away, standing next to Aerigo. He put an arm around Roxie’s waist and watched the pulsing seed.

  The green tendrils lifted off the ground and sped up the sides, pouring into the top. The white glow faded and the seed began to morph into a humanoid shape curled in fetal position, arms crossed. The seed’s outer layer seeped into the humanoid, revealing pale skin, wiry limbs in human proportions, and a bald pale head with its face hidden behind the forearms. The legs twitched, one unfolded, and a large human foot touched down. The other leg unfolded and the humanoid figure rose higher as it stood on both feet. Flaps to a plain black loincloth unfurled down his front and back like hanging banners.

  The arms twitched before unfolding at Nero’s sides. He raised his head and looked down at Roxie with serene blue eyes. He had a broad wedge for a nose, like a lion’s, a small mouth with human lips, and slits in the side of his head for ears, curled like a snail shell.

  Nero examined his pale twenty-foot-tall body, turning hands over and feeling the silky-looking fabric of his scant attire. Relaxing his arms, he looked at Roxie. “Greetings, Roxie Lohr. We meet at last.” He had a gentle voice, one that sounded fit for reading stories to children.

  “Hello, Nero.” No one had said anything about him expecting her. It caught her off-guard, but she put aside her surprise. “Thank you in advance for all the help you can give me.”

  “You don’t need much beyond understanding, and you’ve grasped almost all your potential. This last push is vital to your chances of succeeding.”

  “How did you know I was coming?”

  “The other Aigis.” He looked at Ron. “They stirred me from my rest not long ago, seeking the knowledge of Frava. No Aigis can unlock Frava without being taught by another who already knows how. Nexus thought he was securing the future he wants by eliminating all Aigis, but he failed to grasp that knowledge never dies. It can be forgotten; however, it can also be relearned. Roxie, you are living proof of the Aigis’s legacy, and you’re about to understand how powerful you truly are.”

  Roxie felt butterflies in her stomach. Nero sounded like he had every confidence in her that she could take on Nexus and win. His confidence gave her a thrill but she still felt scared. Would this fear ever go away?

  Nero turned to Aerigo. “Your soul bears the mark of having unlocked Frava. You are one who could take on my mantle and become the next keeper of Frava, if such a responsibility appeals to you.”

  Aerigo looked at Roxie, his mouth ajar.

  Her heart began pounding. Aerigo looked like the idea appealed to him, but he was feeling torn between that and his decision to become her spirit guardian. Of course such a responsibility appealed to him. He was selfless like that. “You don’t have to become my spirit guardian, Aerigo.” Those words made her heart ache.

  Nero said, “I never said such a role had to conflict with preexisting promises. I can wait until after you grow old and die. A few thousand years is but a drop in all the time I’ve existed.” Aerigo’s face brightened. “I’d be honored to take over.”

  “Thank you. It feels like the universe stands at the cusp of great change. I find this an appropriate time to make retirement arrangements.” He smiled. “Now Roxie,” he said seriously, his smile disappearing, “those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. I wish to show you the War of Creationism and how Aigis ended it.”

  “War of Creationism?”

  “Ah, you haven’t had a chance to learn this bit of history. Your maker has done you a disservice. Either that or he wasn’t one of the gods who’d been there. But no matter. Not all gods that live today had come into existence during my time. And not all gods that lived during my time are still around today, a good many of them because of Aigis, sadly.” He said the last bit with mourning in his voice. “As Ron told you, I’m one of the first Aigis to harness the power of Frava, endowed on us by our maker, Olod. There are generations preceding mine that helped shape our power into what you now control. They are the building blocks of all Aigis. I have honored their memory all this time.

  “Aigis were created because the gods were at odds with each other over what the laws of creation should be. They were unable to agree using rhetoric, or simply chose to create more conflict by disagreeing. Some believed there should be nothing but gods populating the universe. Gods are not above hubris.”

  “You make them sound so human,” Roxie said. She was struggling to believe divine beings could be so... imperfect, selfish.

  “Mortals are created in their own image. We are no less perfect than them. Every world, every society, every culture has preconceived notions of what gods should be like, and how they view mortals. We have a tendency to depict them as mightier than they truly are. However, don’t underestimate their strength of will. That’s what makes them gods. I could lecture you for centuries on this but I shan’t. All you need to know is that their strength of will cannot be overstated, and Aigis are the only mortals who can match such strength. Roxie, you have all the power you need to win, so let me show you a reenactment of the War of Creationism.” He raised a hand. “Fair warning, what you are about to see will be presented in a way you can understand. Back then, gods and mortals, including us Aigis, were just energy with thoughts of our own. Will and imagination has shaped the universe into what it is today. Just like my current form, all individuals you’ll see in this reenactment will take on shapes that meet your expectations, and only yours. If I were to do this for Aerigo, all of you would see what he’d expect to see.”

  “I think I understand,” Roxie said. Since all life on Earth had evolved from microorganisms into the intricate, beautiful world it was today, maybe gods had evolved with their creations. All life was energy in one form or another.

  Nero nodded. “That you do, my dear Aigis.” Closing his eyes, he held his hands in front of his waist like he was bracing against a desk or table, then inhaled and flung his hands above his head.

  The rocky plain and body of water vanished, getting replaced by outer space. Stars surrounded them, lightyears away. It looked like Roxie and the others were standing on nothing, but she could still feel the rock under her feet. She tapped the ground with a toe and it held firm, even though blackness dotted with stars splayed out below her. It looked like she’d been immersed in a virtual reality of outer space.

  Hundreds of figures, divided into two groups, manifested on either side of them, separated by the space of a football field. Roxie and the others stood in the middle of where the gods would clash if they met head-on. The figures, all humanoid, varied in appearance like all the Aigis had, a representative from every populated world.

  “The gods had started creating mortals several times before this war. Each time they tried, they had to start over, dissatisfied with what they made. Your world calls it the Big Bang theory. Imagine the universe compressing and exploding severa
l times before finally becoming what it is today.

  “When gods began designing how the mortal realm functioned, they learned that their choices affected all of the mortal realm. Everything is connected like one large piece of fabric, hence the phrase ‘the fabric of reality.’ Disagreement tore up this fabric, making the universe too unstable to sustain life, forcing them to wipe everything out and start over. I apologize for this possibly being difficult to envision or understand; however, it’s important that you know there was a buildup to this conflict, and that it led to the need to create Aigis.”

  “How were we needed?” From what Nero had explained so far, it didn’t make any sense.

  “No god can kill another. They made it an impossibility because such killing tore horrible rends in the fabric of reality.”

  “Then how is it different if an Aigis kills a god?”

  “There are still grave consequences,” Nero said. “Yet we can help repair the damage. Since Nexus lacks the power of a Creator, you need not worry about such consequences. I don’t have adequate time to explain them to you. Whatever you do, don’t hold back against Nexus.”

  “I won’t.” One god’s death for the sake of saving so many lives was worth it. It was going to be strange seeing Nexus again and knowing she’d be attempting to kill him. She was going to need her emotionally detached state she’d slipped into when she’d stabbed her mother.

  “Now, watch closely and study how gods fight.”

  The opposing sides slowly fell into motion like a train rolling out of a station. The gods moved in slow motion at first, building in speed as they closed in on Roxie and crew, fists leading the way, teeth bared, bloodlust in their eyes of varying shapes and colors. Roxie wanted to move from her spot so she wouldn’t be in the way of the fighting, but Nero held his ground, unalarmed by their location. She braced herself, ready to move if the reenactment could knock her around.

  Questionable safety aside, Roxie wasn’t sure what she was looking for but she watched carefully as the first gods clashed with deadly ferocity. The momentum of the fight unfolded faster and faster, until they built up to superhuman speed, clashing with silent explosions of energy. No sound came from the fighting, no voices, booms, or anything.

  Roxie mentally smacked her forehead. Of course there was no sound. The gods were fighting in outer space, meaning there were no air molecules to carry sound. It was a little disconcerting to watch so much going on with no sound accompanying it, but she pushed the oddness aside and tried to see what was unique about gods fighting gods. So far, she couldn’t see anything different. They fought like mortals who had no martial skills.

  “Look more closely, Roxie,” Nero said, placing a giant hand on her back. “Use all your senses.”

  There was nothing to hear or smell, and she watched as much as she could. Nothing to touch or taste. She closed her eyes and tried using her mind vision but she discerned nothing extra to the way they fought. The lack of results annoyed her. What else could she possibly sense? Aerigo hadn’t taught her anything else.

  Wait.

  During her struggle with her mother, she’d... Roxie imagined herself joining the fray and slipped into her emotionally detached state. Nero had made it clear that Frava gave her all the power she needed. When she’d almost died from losing too much energy, she’d used sheer strength of will to bring herself back. And when she’d done that, she’d sensed her mother’s and the shadow people’s wills, what they’d wanted in that moment. She’d sensed what they’d willed.

  “That’s it,” Nero said approvingly.

  Roxie focused on two gods wrestling with each other. While they were physically fighting, there was a mental battle going on as well. They were urging each other to give up and give in to what the other wanted. Roxie wanted to step in and break up the fight but stopped herself, remembering that this was just a reenactment. She gripped the hilt of her sword.

  “You’ve got it,” Nero said.

  “I don’t get it,” Daio said. “What else is there?”

  “You cannot perceive the will of a god without Frava, Daio. The battle you see is not just a physical struggle; a battle of wills unfolds as well. Frava allows an Aigis to sense a god’s will, along with fight it. Without such power, we’d be crushed like any other mortal. Now, be fairly warned that you can’t mask your will any more than a god can from you. Your fight with Nexus will be physical and mental, but the battle of wills is far more important and demanding. Now, watch how the fight shifts when you add Aigis to the mix.”

  A hundred Aigis, all dressed and looking like Nero, appeared on the fringe of the warring. Their eyes were glowing white and their pale bodies outlined in a mist. The gods paused in their fighting.

  “By the way, the Aigis are protected from the cold and lack of air by Olod. We’re resistant to temperature extremes, but the cold of deep space is beyond our tolerance, and we need air or other gasses to stay alive. Not all mortals breathe oxygen.”

  Roxie nodded. She could feel the Aigis’s contempt for the gods’ behavior. They had come with the intention of ending the warring. The gods sensed this as well and wore amused smiles.

  One Aigis floated closer to the gods and spoke telepathically in Nero’s voice. ‘Stop warring now. We will kill all who refuse.’

  “That’s you!” Roxie said in disbelief.

  “Told you I was old,” he said lightly.

  ‘We’re gods,’ one said. ‘We’re immortal. Nothing can kill us. We have designed ourselves to be so.’

  “Remember, Roxie,” the present Nero said, “no words were exchanged in this moment. This war took place before mortal language. We merely shared our intentions through thoughts. It’s a simpler way to communicate, yet it’s not how many mortals do anymore.”

  The Nero from the reenactment said, ‘We are Aigis. We have been given the power to kill you. You have been warned.’

  A couple dozen gods heeded the warning, breaking away from the fray by either vanishing or moving a healthy distance from those who stayed put. The Aigis took note of their number of opponents, then charged in and the fighting began anew.

  It became an all-out fight of god versus Aigis. Gods who’d fought against each other teamed up without hesitation and numbers began falling on both sides. The gods who died condensed into spheres of energy, glowing like stars, and Aigis corpses floated through space in the direction of the death blow had propelled them. The sight of so much death saddened Roxie, but she understood the gods had given the Aigis no alternative.

  “See how fearful and cautious gods grow when they realize they’re not invulnerable?”

  “I do.”

  The gods who were still alive gaped at the energy spheres as more fell to lethal blows to the head or chest. Gods began fighting like they had their backs to a wall. Some threw up their arms in surrender, asking to be spared, to be given a chance to end the warring peacefully. Several Aigis rounded up and guarded the yielders while Nero and the rest fought on. More and more died on both sides, until the Aigis began outnumbering the gods. The last few gods surrendered, their wills broken and bodies limp but alive.

  Roxie let go of her emotionally detached state and took a calming breath. It’d been hard to resist joining the fight after the Aigis stepped in. She’d wanted to help. Hunched-over corpses and glowing spheres of energy littered the space. “What happens to gods when they die?”

  “Their energy is recycled back into the universe.” Nero waved a hand and the scene froze. “There is no finite death for mortal or divine. Only beginnings and endings, and then new beginnings. We all remain part of the universe in one form or another. It’s a constant state of change and growth. This doesn’t mean that death is meaningless. Quite the opposite. It means that life is all the more precious. When you die, Roxie, you’ll cease to be. However, your soul, your essence, your energy will remain a part of everything. It’s a magical thing.”

  “It sounds like death isn’t as sad as we often make it out to be.” Still, it
didn’t make losing Aerigo any less painful.

  “It shouldn’t be but, psychologically, it may always be. Death is loss. You will never be exactly who you are again after you die, but you’ll still be you. Now tell me, what do you understand from watching that fight?”

  Putting thoughts of death aside, Roxie filed through the reenactment, along with Nero’s commentary. “I think my fight with Nexus will be both mental and physical, but my physical actions will support my strength of will. If I can break his will, then I don’t have to kill him, but I have to go in with the resolve to kill him, or there’ll be no chance of him yielding. He’ll be convinced he can beat me and never give up. Aerigo was doing his best to kill him. That’s why Nexus was so afraid of him.”

  “Very good. It’s almost a paradox. The stronger your resolve to kill a god, the less likely you’ll have to. Gods value their lives, their immortality, above all else. However, if Nexus is too consumed by what he wants from his prophecy, you’ll have to kill him. He may not back down.”

  She nodded unhappily. “How exactly did you kill those gods? If they didn’t look like that, then how did you do it?”

  “We willed them to die,” Nero said plainly, his pale face devoid of happiness. “It’s a battle of wills. Don’t forget that.”

  “I won’t. I just wanted to make sure I understood what I saw.”

  “You do,” he said with a nod. “And you have one other option: destroy Nexus’s icon.”