The Rules of Rebellion

by Hope, Amity

  As soon as her car pulled into the lot, I hopped out of my truck. When Allie slid from the passenger seat, I immediately took her place. My heart was hammering against my chest, like a caffeinated woodpecker.

  “Leo,” Kylie groaned. “What are you doing?”

  Kylie always looked great to me, but this morning, she was not at her best. Her eyes were swollen, her face pale. It was obvious she’d been crying because of me. The realization was like a mental kick to the gut. The last thing I’d ever wanted to do was hurt this girl.

  “I’m apologizing,” I said.

  She reached for her door handle but I grabbed her wrist.

  “Please, let me explain.”

  She turned to face me, but her expression was guarded, warning me this was not going to be easy.

  “I should’ve told you the second I figured it out.”

  “But weeks went by and you didn’t say a word. Do you have any idea what it was like to be blindsided in front of my mom like that?” she asked.

  “I have a pretty good idea.” It had been impossible to miss the fury in her mother’s eyes.

  “You should’ve prevented that from happening,” she grated out. “You should’ve told me what you knew. Why didn’t you?”

  I hadn’t been truthful before, but I was going to be now, no matter how insecure it made me feel. My hands were shaking, so I clenched them at my sides. Every cell in my body was aching to hold her hand, but I knew she wouldn’t let me. I needed to get the words out and hope she could find a way to forgive me.

  “You’re the only girl I’ve ever wanted. You weren’t interested in me until recently. I was afraid that you’d decide our relationship was so new, it wasn’t worth the complication. I was afraid you wouldn’t want to see me anymore. What you said last night, about only dating me so you could put it on your list, makes me think that I was right.”

  She winced, giving me hope that she’d been lying. “Leo, I wasn’t thinking too clearly last night. I’m still not sure I’ve wrapped my head around everything that happened.”

  “Then let me try to explain,” I said. “I felt so bad about what Mike did that I didn’t want you to know we were related. It’s embarrassing that my family behaved that way.”

  She studied my face while keeping her expression blank. I wanted to know what was going on in her head. Finally she said, “You can’t choose your family. I understand that. Do you really think I’d hold what your brother did against you?”

  I chose my words carefully. “It wasn’t just that. The next time I brought it up, you were so angry, you couldn’t even talk about it. I was afraid if you found out, I’d constantly remind you of what Mike did. Also…” I released a sigh. “I talked to my sister Jenna after our walk in the park. She added some more details to the story. Things between Maddie and Mike were even worse than you knew.”

  She clenched her jaw.

  I pushed ahead. “See, you’re upset just hearing that. And I don’t blame you. It’s what I was expecting. Your parents have every right to be angry with my family. I was afraid if they knew who I was, they wouldn’t let me date you. Your mom’s reaction last night kind of proved I was right.”

  “My mom reacted the way she did because she was surprised. She knew we’d lied. She knew you had been dishonest with me. If we’d been upfront in the first place,” Kylie said in exasperation, “if we’d explained, this could’ve gone so differently.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I can’t say it enough times.” And should I even keep trying? I’d say it a million times over if it would help. But it didn’t seem to be doing me any good right now.

  “They were furious when I got home. The worst part is that I couldn’t even defend myself. By lying to me, you proved every point they’ve made about dating and boys over the years.”

  “I did try to tell you.”

  “When?” She scoffed.

  “More than once. I was going to at the park, but we got interrupted by Colton. Then at the diner, but you were so angry about the situation.” I blew out a sigh. “When you asked me to prom, I was going tell you.”

  She frowned. “That’s why you hesitated?”

  I nodded.

  “You should’ve told me right then.”

  “Maybe, but you asked me not to ruin the moment.” I raked a hand through my hair. “I knew I had to tell you soon, though. That’s why I wanted to talk to you after work last night. But then I didn’t get the chance.

  “How do I make this right?” I was desperate. “Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it.”

  “Leo”—she looked at me and shook her head—“it’s too late for that.”

  “Do you really think they would’ve let you go out with me?” She started to speak, but I cut her off. “Please hear me out. You said your mom told you ‘Some kids’ parents don’t teach them manners, let alone how to be respectful.’ By ‘Some kids’ parents’ she obviously meant mine. They would’ve shut us down the minute they learned Mike was my brother.”

  “I don’t know. I’d like to think my parents would’ve formed their opinions of you based on you.” She shook her head and her lips trembled. “I guess now we’ll never know.”

  “Maybe if—”

  “I’m grounded indefinitely,” she said. “I’m not blaming you for that. It was my idea to sneak around in the first place. But the fact that you manipulated me into holding off made it that much worse.”

  I sat up straighter, surprised by her words. “I never manipulated you.”

  “No? What about the night we were at Tyler’s? I told you then I was ready to tell my parents. You talked me out of it. You didn’t do that for my sake—you did it so you could keep your secret.”

  Maybe I had manipulated her. But that had never been my intention. I gazed out the windshield, desperately hoping the answer to this problem would come to me.

  Kylie sighed. “I just don’t see the point of having this conversation.”

  “This is it, then?” I asked as I turned to face her. “We’re just done? You really don’t care about me? It was all about the list?”

  I didn’t want to believe that.

  I felt like I’d been waiting half my life for Kylie and I’d blown it.

  “Fine. You want the truth? It wasn’t all about the list,” she said heatedly. “Maybe I just said that because I wanted to hurt you. How am I supposed to trust you?” she continued. “I thought we were friends. I felt like you really got me. But then when it mattered most, you acted like you didn’t know me at all. Like you couldn’t trust me to figure out how to handle this. You’re not the person I thought you were. My parents are never going to let me date. Not just you, but I bet they won’t let me date anyone after this.”

  “Anyone?” I echoed. Who did she have in mind? “Are you mad at me because I ruined your chances of dating James?”

  Her eyes popped. “Are you kidding me right now?”

  “You’re the one who said it,” I shot back.

  “I was speaking hypothetically,” she said.

  “Were you?” I needed to stop talking. Suddenly, I felt like I was trying to pick a fight.

  Ignoring me, she said, “I can probably blow a goodbye kiss to doing anything fun until I leave in the fall. That’s almost half a year away!”

  “Kylie—”

  “No,” she said as she held her hand up, “you’ve had your five minutes. I’m done. I have nothing more to say, and your excuses aren’t getting us anywhere.”

  She tossed her door open and hopped out. I did the same, hoping to catch her before she ran off.

  I froze when I saw Meg and Luke coming toward us.

  Meg noted the upset look on Kylie’s face. She shot me a confused glance before she took off after her friend.

  I slumped against Kylie’s car, knowing it was pointless to go after her now. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe Kylie wasn’t the person I thought she was, either. I hadn’t thought Kylie had it in her to hurt anyone. I definitely hadn’t
expected her to want to hurt me. I also hadn’t expected her to be so unreasonable.

  “What was that about?” Luke asked as he joined me. “Did you and Kylie have a fight or something?” He chuckled, as if assuring me he was joking. His smile slammed into a frown when I stared him down. “Wait. Really? You two had a fight?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” I muttered.

  “What happened?” he asked. “It was obvious she was mad about something, but I didn’t think she was pissed at you.”

  “Well, she is. And I don’t think that’s going to change anytime soon.”

  “What’s going on?” He shook his head. “You’re not the kind of guy who makes a habit of pissing people off.” He paused. “Did she do something?”

  Other than intentionally stomp on my heart? Or in addition to making it clear this relationship had remained pretty one-sided, with me being the only one who was all in? If she had liked me half as much as I’d hoped, she’d put a little more effort into working through this.

  Wouldn’t she?

  Next thing I knew, I was spilling my guts to Luke in the parking lot.

  “I get where you’re coming from,” he finally said. “I could’ve told you that keeping secrets from your girl is not the way to go. That never works out the way you want it to. It doesn’t matter if you have good intentions; honesty trumps good intentions every time. I learned that the hard way.”

  Luke had dated dozens of girls. I didn’t know which one he was referring to, but I figured he knew what he was talking about.

  “Any advice?” I asked.

  “I think you both need some time to cool off. If you’re lucky and she likes you as much as I think she does, giving her some time might make her decide she misses you.”

  Give her time?

  Give her space?

  Remembering how angry she was this morning, remembering the disappointed way she looked at me, maybe Luke was right. Now was not the time to push.

  “Give her some time and hope for the best?” I asked. “Is that what you’re telling me to do?”

  His cocky grin flashed into place. “When the time is right, you need to step back in. Let her know you’re worth all the trouble you caused with her parents.”

  “How will I know when the time is right?”

  “Couldn’t tell ya.” He gave me a solid smack on the shoulder as he pushed away from the car, likely wanting to track down Meg. “But I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

  …

  The next two weeks dragged by. With each day that passed, it was blatantly clear that Kylie was avoiding me. In the morning, Francesca would meet her at her car. The two of them went straight inside instead of hanging out in the parking lot with the rest of us. The girls had moved back to their old lunch table—the one they’d eaten at before Meg and Luke got together. Even Julia defected, and she’d been eating lunch with us since she started dating Adam over a year ago.

  Adam and Luke must’ve felt sorry for me. Neither one of them gave me a hard time, even though their girlfriends were ditching them on my account.

  At first I felt crushed, but as the days passed, anger seeped in. I thought she was being insanely unfair. It was starting to piss me off that she wouldn’t even talk to me.

  Luke, Adam, and the rest of my friends were busy with practice every night. For the first time since I made the choice to quit the team, I regretted it. It wasn’t that I missed playing. I missed the distraction. When your friends were all tied up and you weren’t, it resulted in a lot of alone time with nothing but your own thoughts.

  I spent hour after hour in my shop. If the projects didn’t sell, I didn’t care. It was my outlet.

  I was in my shop, rummaging through my bins looking for a rusted hubcap, when my phone rang. A glance at the display showed it was my sister. I contemplated not answering. I’d called her after my fight with Kylie, but I couldn’t help but feel Jenna had taken Kylie’s side. She’d even tossed out the irritating, “I told you so.”

  “Hey,” I said, surprising myself by taking the call.

  “How’re you doing?” she asked.

  “Great,” I said flatly. I found what I’d been searching for and tugged it from the pile.

  “Still haven’t made up with Kylie yet?” she guessed.

  “That’s a little hard to do when she can’t be bothered to talk to me.” That admission busted the dam holding back my frustration. “And maybe I don’t even care.” It was a lie, even though I was trying to make myself believe it.

  “Really?” Jenna sounded doubtful.

  “I don’t get it.” I tossed the hubcap on the counter and began to pace the length of my shop. “Kylie’s the nicest person I know. She’s always been forgiving. Why won’t she forgive me? Even if she never wants to date me again, we were friends before this all happened. It’s like I never mattered to her at all.”

  Not even as a friend.

  “Leo,” Jenna said, “don’t you think maybe it’s because she likes you so much that she’s having a hard time with this?”

  “No?” Why would I think that? She’d hadn’t exactly been giving me any reason to.

  She heard the question in my tone and continued, “Think about it. If you didn’t matter to her, this whole thing would blow over. She wouldn’t care one way or another. Face it Leo, you messed up. You hurt her, even if it was accidental. People lash out when they’re hurt.”

  I plopped down on a stool. I didn’t like hearing her say I’d hurt Kylie, even though I knew it was true. I raked a hand through my hair.

  “I can’t believe how this spiraled,” I said.

  “You still like this girl, right?” Jenna asked.

  “Yeah.” Why deny it? Even though I was mad, Kylie still had a firm grip on my heart.

  “I think you need to take another shot at fixing this.”

  I hopped up and began to pace again. I didn’t know if I could do that. I thought Kylie had made her opinion of me pretty clear. Or was Jenna right about why Kylie had lashed out at me? I hadn’t thought about it that way.

  I asked myself if I was really ready to let this go. If I didn’t try to fix things one more time, I might never have the chance again. We could lose touch after graduation. Sapphire Bay was a pretty big city. We could both live there for years and never run into each other at all.

  I realized I didn’t want to risk regretting letting her slip away.

  “Tell me how to fix this.”

  “I can’t,” Jenna said, her tone firm. “You made this mess. I’m sorry, but I think if you’re going to set things right, you need to do that all on your own. Whatever you do to prove to this girl that you love her, you need to figure it out for yourself. It has to come from your heart.”

  “Kylie already knows how I feel,” I argued. “I told her I’ve had a crush on her since the fifth grade.”

  “Actions speak louder than words.”

  Her point hit home.

  So far, my actions hadn’t amounted to a whole lot.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Kylie

  I slammed my pillow over my head and silently cursed whoever had rung our doorbell so early on a Saturday morning. Maybe nine wasn’t all that early, but I’d been awake half the night. Since I officially had no social life, I’d stayed up until an unreasonable hour reading. The action-packed story about a magic-wielding princess trying to save her kingdom after having been betrayed by her true love hadn’t managed to keep my mind off Leo.

  I couldn’t help feeling like I was being too hard on him.

  Meg, Julia, and even feisty Francesca had hinted that they thought I should give him a second chance. After the first day, when he’d ambushed me in my car, I had assumed he’d bombard me every morning. I was simultaneously relieved and disappointed when he didn’t.

  Luke told Meg that Leo was a wreck. I hadn’t needed that update. It was clear every time I saw him in the hallway, or the lunch room, or the parking lot.

  He looked completely d
ejected.

  Maybe I’d been too harsh, cutting him off like I had.

  But what was the point of continuing to hash it out? We’d made a mess of things. I couldn’t see a way to fix them. Talking to him would be too hard, especially when I knew where my parents stood. They were never going to let me see him. It was hopeless.

  It would be best to just forget about him.

  I reached over to my nightstand and picked up the tiny, metal mouse he’d made for me.

  Who was I kidding?

  I could not just forget about Leo.

  I loved that he brought out a side of me that I didn’t know existed. I loved that he was so easy to talk to, so fun to be around. I loved that he’d shared his art with me. I especially loved my silly little mouse.

  I loved him.

  He loved me.

  That was the point.

  But the way we’d handled the situation with my parents had ruined any chance we had. I could still hear them repeatedly spout, As long as you’re living under our roof, you’ll follow our rules.

  I let our parents think that I’d coerced my sister into helping me. No sense in her being grounded, too. Besides, I was sure she’d learned her lesson. Also, I felt like I owed her. If not for her, I never would’ve written the list. Never would’ve dropped it at Leo’s feet, and definitely never would’ve had so much fun filling it in.

  If not for the list, I still wouldn’t know how Leo felt about me.

  Despite my punishment, I wouldn’t give up my checklist for anything. Those memories meant far too much to me.

  Now that I was awake again, the sunlight was keeping me from falling back to sleep. Or maybe it was my whirling mind that insisted on keeping me awake.

  That didn’t mean I wasn’t going to stay curled up in my bed where I could wallow to my heart’s content.

  Or not, I thought as my bedroom door flew open.

  “Kylie-Kylie-Kylie,” Allie chanted in excitement as she barged in.

  My pillow was jerked out from under my head, then my covers pulled away. My sister grabbed my arm and gave it a tug.

  I yanked it back with so much force she fell on top of me.

  Flustered, I demanded, “What are you doing?”