Signs of Life

by Melanie Hansen

  Besides Kai, Carey was easily one of the most beautiful men Jeremy had ever seen, tall and black-haired, with startling blue eyes and a devastating smile. He radiated happiness, and Jeremy watched as Jase set him gently back onto his feet, discreetly cupping Carey’s elbow with one hand until he found his balance on his prosthetic leg.

  Jeremy’s wedding present to Jase was to take care of all the arrangements, and now everyone descended upon the lavish champagne brunch he’d had catered, Jase and Carey leading the way. Soon the lower rooms of the cabin were filled with conversation and laughter, and Jeremy caught sight of Kai leaning against a nearby wall, a faint smile on his lips as he held a flute of champagne loosely between ringed fingers.

  Jeremy sidled up to him and leaned down to whisper in his ear, “Hey, Gorgeous. Marry me?”

  “In a heartbeat,” Kai replied, winking.

  It was a private joke they indulged in often, although Kai made it clear early on in their relationship he didn’t need a piece of paper or a few words spoken over them to feel committed. At the time Jeremy’s attitude was “been there, done that, I don’t need it either,” but as the years went by, he’d started to think more and more how fucking much it would mean to him to call Kai his husband.

  There was another consideration too. Jeremy’s law practice specializing in adoption and surrogacy law for couples, both gay and straight, had flourished, and spending so much time helping to facilitate the creation of happy families had made him long for… something. A family of his own, with Kai. He did have the strength to light more candles, secure in Kai’s love and the healing passage of time.

  He leaned down and nipped at Kai’s lip ring, and they indulged in a passionate kiss, caught up in the happiness of the occasion. As the party swirled on around them, Jeremy reflected on the highs and lows of the past two years…. Shauna recovering enough from her injury to be brought out of her coma, but her neurologist discovering she’d need long-term care in a rehab hospital to regain some function. Jeremy quietly and anonymously paid for a year of treatment, and then he held Kai close as he let go of his dream for her once and for all.

  That sadness was firmly mitigated by watching Craig and Luke graduate high school and go on to join DC’s handyman crew as highly skilled labor. At last report they were making a decent living, and Craig was dating a girl seriously, confessing to DC he was thinking of proposing soon. The house itself had turned out better than even Jeremy envisioned. It had taken well over a year from start to finish, and both he and Kai were deeply touched when all four boys stayed on to help, even after they’d completed their community service obligation about halfway through.

  “Jeremy!”

  Jase’s voice broke into Jeremy’s thoughts, and he looked over to see him beckoning. Jeremy left Kai with a reluctant smile, heading over to pose for a series of pictures with the happy couple and their friends. As soon as they were through, Jeremy snagged a glass of champagne and looked around idly for Kai, not immediately seeing him. He wandered for a while, sipping from his glass and talking to his guests, finally spotting Kai through the open door to his office.

  He leaned against the doorjamb for a moment, watching him. Kai was standing in front of a large framed picture hanging on the wall, gazing up at it. He still held his empty champagne glass in one hand, but Jeremy noticed with surprise he held the Hawaii picture of Jeremy and Brent in the other.

  Jeremy walked into the room, waiting until Kai noticed him.

  “What’s all this?” he asked Kai softly, taking Kai’s champagne glass from him and setting it along with his on a nearby table.

  “I’m just remembering that first summer when we went to San Diego,” Kai murmured, and Jeremy slipped his arm around Kai’s shoulders, remembering too.

  The two of them had made the trip to California for Jeremy to attend a week-long legal conference on adoption law, and he wanted Kai to meet Jase and Carey. The two couples went to dinner at an intimate seafood restaurant one evening, then took a walk along the pier afterward.

  Jeremy and Kai stopped to watch the sun setting over the ocean, resting their backs against the pier railing. Jeremy had his arm around Kai’s waist, his thumb tucked in the belt loop of Kai’s cargo shorts. Kai was leaning into him, his hand on Jeremy’s chest as they gazed off into the distance. Jeremy dimly remembered Jase there with his camera, but he didn’t know he snapped the photo until the professionally matted and framed picture was delivered recently, a thank-you gift to Jeremy and Kai for hosting his wedding.

  It was a stunning photo, slightly bittersweet. Before dinner that day he and Kai visited the memorial garden were Brent and Zachary were buried, Kai standing quietly off to the side as Jeremy spent a little time with the family he’d lost, tracing the etched names with his finger through the dust and grime of the passing years. Kai seemed to know, though, when Jeremy needed him to step forward and take him in his arms, and they walked back to their rental car wrapped around each other, away from the past and firmly ahead into their new lives together.

  When Jase took the picture, Jeremy was reflecting on all he had lost and all he had been blessed with, so fucking grateful for second chances.

  “I keep looking at your face,” Kai said softly, breaking into Jeremy’s reverie. “And comparing the differences.” He held up the Hawaii picture. “I know it’s stupid, but—”

  Jeremy looked between the two photos, seeing what Kai must be seeing. In the picture with Brent, Jeremy’s face was open, beaming, his eyes crinkled up at the corners as he laughed with him at the camera. With Kai, his face was solemn, almost unsmiling, the lines at his eyes not caused by apparent laughter.

  Jeremy pulled him closer. “You know what I see? In the picture with Brent I see a man—a boy—largely untouched by life. Happy and in love, but with no idea of what it’s truly like to suffer, and to survive.” Kai leaned into him, and Jeremy kissed him gently. “With you I see men who are just as happy, just as in love, but they’ve also been thrown into the fires of hell. They’re survivors, and they’ve chosen to love again despite knowing the pain love can bring.”

  Jeremy reached for the picture of him and Brent, and when Kai handed it to him, he traced his finger wistfully over Brent’s face. “I’ve wondered lately if Brent and I would have survived losing the baby, I mean, survived as a couple. I’d like to think so, but knowing how fragile Brent was—I don’t know for sure. I might have been too much of a reminder of the pain, and he might have needed to—not be around me. In a way I’m glad I’ll never know the answer to that.”

  Kai rubbed Jeremy’s back, just listening.

  “With you, Kai, I don’t have those doubts. You’re the strongest man I’ve ever known, and no matter what life throws at us, I know you can weather it with me. It doesn’t sound like much on the face of it, but Kai, I cherish that about you. Never doubt it, even if I’m not wearing some sappy grin in a picture.”

  “I love you, Jeremy,” Kai murmured, and Jeremy put the picture of Brent down and wrapped Kai tightly in his arms.

  Kai clung to him, and finally Jeremy put his lips to Kai’s ear, kissing him softly before whispering, “Marry me. Start a family with me. Share my life in every way.”

  Kai pulled back and looked at Jeremy, his golden eyes warm with love and happiness, and simply nodded.

  Just then a burst of laughter from the group surrounding the champagne fountain broke the spell, and Jeremy took Kai’s hand in his and they rejoined the party. Several toasts to the newly married couple ensued, both serious and teasing, and there was much laughter and even a few tears. Jase and Carey were radiantly happy, and Jeremy was moved by the awe in their faces when they looked at each other, like they couldn’t believe they were really here, that this was really happening.

  He was sure that same expression was on his face every time he looked at Kai.

  The dual emotions of friendship and love, overlaid with gratitude for the blessings he’d been given, both now and in the past, overwhelmed him and h
e blinked back tears. Yes, there was risk, and there would be pain, because that was life. Wrapping his arm around Kai, pulling the man he loved close to him, all Jeremy could think was… it’s worth it.

  Keep scrolling for more from Melanie Hansen

  Available from

  www.dreamspinnerpress.com

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  What happens when friendship catches fire?

  Former Marine and lower-leg amputee Carey Everett keeps a grueling schedule of counseling fellow war veterans and their families. The injury he received in Afghanistan forces him to rely on a reserve of strength he didn’t even know he had. A much deserved vacation will let him reconnect with his best friend, who saved his life and has been there for him through devastating injury and painful recovery.

  Part-time EMT and aspiring singer Jase DeSantis has been in love with Carey for years, but he’s come to accept that his straight friend will never be able to offer more. Jase fills his days with band rehearsals, ambulance shifts, and willing groupies, all while trying to cope with debilitating PTSD.

  A week of sun, fun, and music in San Diego changes Jase and Carey’s lives forever when their relationship takes an unexpected turn. Jase has been longing for that change, but it leaves Carey reeling with confusion. As Jase fights to hold things together, Carey deals with doubts, fears, and his own preconceived notions about labels and the true nature of love.

  Readers love Everything Changes by Melanie Hansen

  “This is one emotionally charged read and I loved it! Everything Changes is Melanie Hansen’s debut novel and I have to say for me it hit all the right buttons.”

  —MM Good Book Reviews

  “My first book by Melanie Hansen and certainly won’t be my last.”

  —Prism Book Alliance

  “This is by far one of the best books, if not the best book, I’ve read in 2015… From cover to cover a MUST read!!!”

  —Love Bytes

  “Everything Changes is a fast-paced, sexy read between two men who finally allow their true feelings and attraction toward each other. It is a very solid, interesting storyline that will easily grip many readers attention.”

  —Top 2 Bottom Reviews

  “Melanie Hansen has done a great job with this book, and I can’t wait to see what’s in store from her next.”

  —The Novel Approach

  MELANIE HANSEN has spent time in Texas and Florida prisons…for work. She’s been in a room with a seventeen-year-old mass murderer who was also one of the most soft-spoken and polite teenagers she’s ever met. After a thirteen-year career as a court reporter, she can tell many stories both hilarious and heartbreaking.

  She grew up with an Air Force dad and ended up marrying a Navy man. After living and working all over the country, she hopes to bring these rich and varied life experiences to her stories about people finding love amidst real-life struggles.

  Melanie left the stressful world of the courtroom behind and now enjoys a rewarding career transcribing for a deaf student. She currently lives in Arizona with her husband and two sons.

  Contact Melanie at:

  Twitter: @MelJoyAZ

  Email: MelJHansen@gmail.com

  Published by

  DREAMSPINNER PRESS

  5032 Capital Circle SW, Suite 2, PMB# 279, Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886 USA

  www.dreamspinnerpress.com

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of author imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Signs of Life

  © 2015 Melanie Hansen.

  Cover Art

  © 2015 Natasha Snow Designs

  Cover Photo

  © 2015 Andrew Christian

  Cover content is for illustrative purposes only and any person depicted on the cover is a model.

  All rights reserved. This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of international copyright law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines, and/or imprisonment. Any eBook format cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press, 5032 Capital Circle SW, Suite 2, PMB# 279, Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886, USA, or www.dreamspinnerpress.com.

  ISBN: 978-1-63476-177-2

  Digital ISBN: 978-1-63476-178-9

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2015945754

  First Edition September 2015

  Printed in the United States of America