Captured Secret (The Captured Series)

by Raynne, April

  I try for non-chalant, enter my room, and tell her I’ll be right out. I panic as I frantically browse my closet. The little black dress that fits like a glove is pulled over my head the second my slacks and blouse hit the floor. Some way-to-fucking-high heels are slid on my feet. I pull my hair off my neck in a school teacher look and realized I’m a mess! Black eyeliner is strategically swiped heavy on all lids, with the black mascara applied generously along with shimmer gloss. I brush my cheeks with blush, apply massive amounts of concealer under my eyes and grab my purse to head out to the living room with purpose.

  “I’m sorry I interrupted,” I say to them all with a shaky voice. Zoey’s mouth drops and I can hear ‘what in the hell’ racing through her brain. I normally would never dress like this without her guidance. “Max and I are meeting some of his coworkers at Bar 21. Enjoy dinner.” I see the man that I ache for, that I love, flash his eyes up and down my body. Sadly, he doesn’t look at me again as I walk out the door.

  Thank God I make it to my car. Ty stepped out of the front door and I swear I heard him yell my name. I have no fucking plans with anyone. It was all a cover. I panicked. I didn’t want to look like the loser I am with nothing to do but stare at the ceiling, hurting. Max did ask me to Bar 21 tonight, but I declined because I originally had plans. I re-think Ty’s look when I walked in. I can’t decide if it was, I don’t give a fuck, oh shit Stella wasn’t supposed to be here, or, I’m numb, exhausted, and sad and you walking in doesn’t faze me. I’m hoping it was ‘Stella it hurts to bad to see your face.’

  I’m in Max’s elevator before I realize where I’m at. If you don’t know what a fucking mess I am on the inside, you may actually think I have it going on with the way I look on the outside. I’m all dark make-up and legs. My phone continues to vibrate with Zoey apologizing. I knock softly on Max’s door several times with no answer. Finally, when I turn the knob it opens. Knocking is a courtesy ,not a necessity. He barges in our place all the time. My heels click on the foyer and I hear some soft music. He likes his large balcony so I head that way.

  My jaw literally falls to the floor. Woman… long black straight hair…on her knees…hands secured behind her back with a neck tie… blindfold over her eyes…hair hanging down over her perfect ass… as her mouth is wrapped around Maxem’s cock. He pushes himself deep into her throat as his head hangs back, and his mouth openly sucks in air. I should have turned and walked back out the moment this scene came into my vision. But it’s like a train wreck; you just can’t take your eyes off it.

  Max’s body is glorious and fully exposed. He lifts his head and finally sees me standing there. His legs are parted to make up for his six plus feet and her lack of height. He is in full control and this woman seems to understand that fact and accepts it. And shit… she is accepting a lot into her mouth. I pull my eyes away from his abs, and that sculpted V-cut that leads to his long cock. His lips turn into a mischievous smile as he lifts an eyebrow. Max holds out his hand to me, “Did you come just to watch or to play, Stella? Dressed like that, I’m begging the sweet Lord that you came to play.”

  I turn on my heels, bolt down the elevator and jump into my car and start it. I want to pull my damn hair out! I’m not repulsed by what I just saw. I’m actually totally turned on and frustrated as hell! Max has a woman on her knees, completely worshipping him. Zoey is in love with Pierce. Mandy cancelled on me. Samantha has a fucking date. My dad is out of town. I will not disturb my sisters perfect little life with my shit. And Ty looks at me like I’m invisible when I look fucking hot! I do…I grab my hair…and scream at the top of my lungs! I scream to the heavens! Everyone is happy! Everyone has someone except fucking me! Loser alert! Even your bullshit, made up plans are an effing fail, Stella! One more bloody murder scream, and I finally feel one whole percent calmer and am able to back out and drive.

  And that’s what I do. I drive with the windows down, with no radio on. My phone is switched to silent because Zoey wants to check on me, and Emily wants to squeal that my boudoir pictures are live on her website. And to top it off Max wants me to text him.

  It’s humid. My hair is a mess, but driving feels good even in this beater. I feel very alone. Not just the alone because of Ty. Just alone. My life is like ice skating. I glide through the loneliness every day, day in and day out. But, eventually I come to thick snow and need to put on my snow boots on so I can drudge through these rough patches. Never, have I felt this avalanche of snow fall on my head as I have tonight. I truly have no one. I am truly alone in this life.

  Chapter 2

  “To my new friend!” In this new fuck everything life I have going on, there’s nothing like a three in the afternoon whipped vodka shot. That is the friend I am toasting too. One that doesn’t let you down, think you’re sub-par, or cancel on you. Sam and I love the all-day happy hour, yet even she thinks this time of afternoon is a touch too early to start. We take a picture sipping drinks and check in on Facebook. If you didn’t know me, you would think my life was grand…it so isn’t. So, how bout’ a binge of pity parties to help lighten up the mood? I swear this life likes to throw me lemons? Or is it curve ball? Life and lemons…I know that’s some dumb ass saying. Oh yeah, if life throws you lemons make lemonade. Well I’m making fucking margaritas!

  Sam does all the talking. I do a lot of the drinking. I mean who wants to hear my shit anyway? Poor Sam, I’m sure if I say the name Ty one more time, she may stick a stirring straw in her eye. I can’t complain, she has a whole different outlook on dating then me, and it’s refreshing to hear her shenanigans. Sam just goes with the flow, and sails through all her dates…and all the bullshit that comes with them. I don’t know how she does it. Thank God, I am smart enough to put at least an appetizer in my stomach, because this drinking pity party is going to be a long one.

  Several hours later I have to laugh inside my head. Men kill me. Don’t they know how perceptive women are? Two total cuties look at us, talk quietly to each other, and look our way again. Hmmmm…wonder what’s gonna happen now? I should be a fucking psychic as they stroll over and make themselves comfortable at our table. They flirt, and tell us how successful and wonderful they are. What’ obvious to me is they don’t give a shit about us. They just want what’s between our legs and are so damn obvious. But Sam is an expert as she talks and flatters them. Oh hell no! I’m not flattering anyone! They quickly decide she’s the easy one to talk too. I am declared the shy sweet one. They have no idea how fowl I feel at the moment. I have half a mind to just remove all fifty filters and speak exactly what comes into my brain, right out of my mouth. I don’t because Sam seems to like one of them.

  Zoey texts me.

  Zoey: Hey. I’m just checking in on you. I’m really sorry about last night.

  Me: No worries. I lie.

  Zoey: Well, the only reason I know where you are is because you posted it. I really don’t appreciate you shutting me out.

  Me: I’m not trying to shut you out. I’m just having some drinks.

  Zoey: Well it feels that way. We are going to a band tonight. I’m sad you can’t go. Hey, did you talk to Ty last night while he was on the couch? Did he wake up?

  Me: Sorry, talking to total hotties with Sam. Can we get into that later?

  It’s just a little white lie, but I’m cutting that shit off quick, that is not something I want to discuss at this very moment.

  Zoey: Yes, that’s fine. It’s a little “soon” for hotties. Just a thought. I don’t reply.

  Max, Ethan and some other man I’ve never met before come into the bar and pull up seats. “Hey, I saw your status. Do you mind if we hang?”

  “No, not at all.” I don’t really feel uncomfortable by what I saw last night because I am way too tipsy and Max is a source of comfort. As we talk and drink he looks over at me several times. I feel like it’s for reassurance that we are okay. Maybe to see if I feel differently about him? I see him differently I won’t lie, but not in a bad way. It really opens my eyes that wh
at you see is not what you get. Just because you think you know someone, that isn’t necessarily true. I mean, I thought I saw something in Ty. I thought I saw feelings for me. I thought that if I was patient, I would be rewarded with his love in the end. Note to self… you aren’t a good judge of people Stella! Ultimately, what Maxem does in his bedroom is his business. I hate the flash in my mind of him perfectly naked…me on my knees, replacing the long black haired sucker. Could I do that with Max? The alcohol is doing a lot of my thinking, I will NOT go there right now.

  My head is light, I’m nearing capacity and on the verge of alcohol poisoning. I really don’t care, whatever. My heart aches, but only a bit, which is better than the vise grip I’ve been sporting for almost a week. When I go to stand up I know I’m fucked. Samantha and I walk to the bathroom while Max pays with the credit cards we left with him. I return to the table and he walks me to his car for a ride home. I get hit again with how much I have drank and how little I have eaten.

  “Are you gonna barf?” Max asks playfully.

  “No.” I make eye contact with him. He doesn’t know I make eye contact with all three of him. “It’s not that kinda drunk. I think I may just put my head on your seat and pass out.”

  “So do you want to talk about last night?”

  “No. Not right now.” Why in the fuck does everyone want to talk about last night?

  “Okay, so then go to an early dinner tomorrow with me and then to Bar 21?”

  “Yeah, that’s a good plan.”

  “But we will talk.”

  “Definitely.”

  I hear muffled voices and I feel a ton of pressure on my tummy. I hear Zoey’s voice, “Oh shit, is she okay?”

  Max replies, “Yeah, she was ripped up at the bar, so I drove her home.”

  “Well lay her down, she doesn’t look comfortable over your shoulder and everyone can see her purple panties.” I’m not comfortable, and have a ton of blood in my head. Once I’m laid down I realize I was draped over Max’s shoulder.

  Zoey starts trying to talk to me and roll me over. I don’t budge. Max is stern with her, “Just let her sleep! If you want to see the extent of her exhaustion, then roll her over and just look at the dark circles under her eyes. Maybe then you won’t wake her! She’s exhausted.” Max’s voice startles me awake again when I hear, “Knight in shining armor out!”

  The door closes and I hear Pierce, “Just calm the fuck down, you know it’s not worth a fight dude.” I think I pass out again.

  I love the way Ty smells, so fucking sexy. I think he should patent it his scent. He’d be a guaranteed millionaire. I breathe in my most favorite scent and startle as I am being lifted off the couch. I wonder who gets to see my panties this time. I wonder how Max smells like Ty…it’s weird and I was sure he left. “I’m gonna put you in your bed. Relax, s’okay…I got you, Stella.” I shove my nose into his neck and wrap my arms around it tight. It’s instant calmness when I realize it really is Ty…and he has me.

  “Mmmmmmm….you smellssogood, you know that?” My words are slurred. “I’ve always loved the way you smell and the way your skin feels.” My cheek is flush with his jaw.

  His breath is hot in my ear. “No I didn’t know that. I don’t have anything on tonight.”

  “I know you don’t and you’re not listening to me. I’m actually using my mouth and not talking to you in my head. I said….YOU smell good, your skin. It always makes me tingle between my legs.” My door is opened and he sits my butt on the mattress as I continue holding his neck. I don’t want him to let me go. He pulls back the covers, and pulls me up to the fitted sheet.

  “You always smell really good too Stel, now get some rest you had way too much to drink.” His voice is soft and soothing.

  He removes my hands and tucks me in. Tears fill my eyes. “Don’t leave me, Ty. Maybe I’m dreaming you’re here but can’t you just stay? I want to just lay with you. I miss you.”

  He looks away from me to the foot of the bed. He looks tired. He looks like he’s been steamrolled. “Yeah, I’ll stay. I miss you too.” I have so much to say I can’t wait to spill it all out on the table and listen to what he has too tell me too.

  My bladder is screaming and when I jump up out of bed, so is my head. I take Ibuprophen with sink water and head back to the comfort of my mattress. I see it’s noon on Saturday, so I cover my head to block out the light. Last night feels a bit like a blur. Happy hour, shots, stupid guys hitting on us. I grab my phone to text Sam and see if she got home okay. I wait for her reply and remember Max, and that I don’t think differently of him. I remember my tummy had pressure on it…and Max said he’s my knight in shining armor. TY!!! TY!! Oh God, Ty carried me in here! You smell so good, I’m tingling between my legs. I miss you. Oh, thank God I’m hiding. This is where I’m going to stay for the rest of my life. I cannot believe I said that. Do I have no shame? Do I have any pride?

  My phone dings and it’s a picture of Sam and one of the guys from last night lying on her couch. I reply with a smiley face and am left with my embarrassment over my loose lips. I can only imagine what Ty thinks of me today. Wait...I wanted to talk and he said he would stay. After I rack my brain I realize that you have to stay conscious to talk… and that I did not do. MORTIFIED! I will return to sleep. Yep that is exactly what I will do. My head is banging and it’s much easier to live in a state of sleep.

  Tonight, I pick a red dress that is very similar to the black one I wore to my fake Bar 21 outing with Max. I practically have the entire bottle of concealer under my eyes tonight. Max on the other hand looks stunning in his dark grey suit with a light purple tie. I apologize and thank him for getting me home last night. Our dinner is placed in front of us and the real conversation starts. “So you do understand that was consensual, right?” I take in a big breath and hold it for a moment. Our conversations are usually on the lighter side. I decide I am going to be an adult about this and look him straight in the eyes.

  “It looked very consensual, so yes.”

  “What did you think of what you saw?” He wipes his mouth after popping in a potato. “I guess I’m asking if you think it was too much.”

  I pause before answering to get up my courage. “I won’t lie. I was surprised Max. It was erotic and different and well, I have never had that type of sex. No one has ever tied me up nor have I ever been very submissive. I usually like to be very involved. But what people do behind closed doors is their prerogative. I’m embarrassed to admit, but I uh, I did watch for longer than I intended to and for that I’m sorry.” I can’t help but look down at my food.

  “Don’t be. I kinda enjoyed your eyes on us. It feels like a relief off my shoulders that you know something so personal about me. While we were in the moment it was exciting. And fuck Stella I hate myself for it but you were all very short tight black dress, and your makeup was dark, heavy and sexy like tonight. I know I’ve complimented you on this little red number you are wearing because it looks strikingly like the black one. When I saw you standing there, I have to admit I envisioned you walking in…kicking her out and taking her place. I’ve never been quiet that I think you’re attractive. But in that moment…” He sucks in a breath between his teeth. “You were so damn sexy it fucking turned me on.”

  I blush, “You say that. But could you really be sexual with me Max? We made out once and that was like seven-plus years ago.”

  “I don’t know. I’ve thought about it before when we were in close quarters. I really don’t know. I think I could but I’ve watched you grow up. And Ms. Tight black dress with fuck me hair was very un-Stella-ish.”

  “Oh thanks, is this Stella that bad? You know what, don’t answer that.”

  “Absolutely not. I don’t know…you had this burning in your eyes. You were all lit up and looked like you were on fire. You looked like you were on a mission.”

  “I had just seen Ty,” I say softly.

  “That explains a lot.” He sips his wine and we look one another over. “By
the way she enjoys that. The female you saw. She’s the one I call when I am in the mood for that kind of play. Normally I just enjoy a woman and normal sex. Soft, hard, short, long it all depends on my mood. But I won’t sugar coat it, Stella. I crave that sometimes…the control. But you don’t find a girl in the bar that will let you tie her up on the first time and I don’t put that much time in women to gain their trust,” He speaks so open and shameless as another potato goes in. “You’ll hate me for this. But she wants to change our relationship from just sex too dating and talking regularly. I’ve started to text her here and there but I won’t do dates with her. Only…because I know she likes me more than I like her.”

  “Why would I hate you for that?”

  “I talked to Pierce. He told me what had been going on and for how long. Don’t be mad at him Stel, I mean I sat through that fight between you and Ty. I heard all the details. It was difficult to hold my tongue as much as I did. Hell, it was difficult for me not to rip his fucking head off and shove it up his ass. I knew you were in no mood to spill your guts to me. So I asked Pierce.”

  “I’m not mad at all. I didn’t tell them not to tell you. I actually was hoping they would so I wouldn’t have to. It’s embarrassing and painful.

  “Why are you embarrassed? Because of the fight?”

  “No. I really wanted to be with him Max. I…uh…ugh…”

  “Tell me.”

  “I fell in love with him. He doesn’t want a relationship. He just wanted sex. I thought I saw feeling for me building in him. I was wrong.”

  “It sounds like he’s not the one. And don’t stress. You will find him. Start thinking of yourself and what you want. If you find another dude don’t hold back, just go for it.”

  I just nod. I was going for it with Ty. Any other man I was ever with, I don’t think I ever gave them a chance. I put them in the hot, yet an asshole category before they even said hello. I never gave them the chance to prove themselves. I already had them figured out. Already knew they were going to fuck me over. But I didn’t think that with, Ty. Maybe cause he was so upfront. And stupid ass me is the one that has feelings for the man that doesn’t want anything other than sex. I did do it though…I jumped off the building and rode it down praying in the end the landing would be soft in Ty’s arms. Instead, it was hard and it fucking hurt. It still does. No one understands that. No one understands how much I wanted him and felt for him. No one. I’m sure they think it was just a fling. They don’t know. They weren’t with us. They don’t know the connection I felt with him.