Break Line

by Ellie Mack

  “Yes, please. I’ll just take it back with me. I think I’ll go lie down until my head stops spinning.”

  She offered a weak smile as she took the tray, and returned with the requested soda. It was a lidded plastic cup filled with ice.

  “Hopefully you’ll feel better for our evening meal.”

  He nodded then turned the chair in the general direction of his new digs. Maybe he could get Kai to smuggle him some kau kau. First things first though, he had to call Irene and Dave, his former in-laws who currently had guardianship of his children.

  Back in his room, he got out the notepad from the rolling tray. He had always been on good terms with Dave and Irene. He scrolled through his favorites, to click on Irene’s number.

  “Hey, Mom, how are you doing?”

  “Nathan! So good to hear from you! How are things in paradise?”

  “As well as can be expected without my babies, Irene. I’ve met some of my mom’s family here. Gotten settled into the job for the most part. Got a nanny lined up for the girls.”

  “Fantastic. I know the girls are anxious to go see their dad and swim with dolphins.”

  He chuckled. “Can I talk to them? Are they up?”

  “Sorry, no. We’ve set bedtime at nine. They seem to do well with the schedule.”

  Of course, he had forgotten about the time difference. “How are you and Dad doing? Everything OK? Everyone healthy?”

  “We’re just fine. Dave went to the doctor the other day. He’s fit as a fiddle. I finished my thirtieth 5K this past weekend. Came in third in my age group.”

  “Way to go, Mom! Good to hear everyone’s healthy there.”

  He let out a breathy sigh.

  “What is it, Nate? That was not a sigh of relief.”

  “No, ma’am. I’ve got some bad news. I, well…” He let out another sigh, then took a deep breath blowing his air out slowly. “Mom, I was attacked by a shark.”

  “Yes, we knew that, hun. Your cousin Kai called us to let us know. But, you’re doing better now, right? Isn’t that why they have you in rehab?”

  “They patched up my leg, but infection set in, and last week they amputated my left leg to mid-thigh. I’m in rehab to learn to walk again. Doctor said in a few weeks I’d get a prosthetic leg.”

  “Oh, honey. I had no idea. Would you like Dave to fly out to see you at the end of this week? He’s got days to burn for his vacation or else he’s going to lose them. Maybe he could bring those darling girls of yours out with him. I’m sure that would cheer you up, and they’ve been dying to see you.”

  “That would be great. I have a nanny lined up to take care of them while I’m in here. Why don’t the both of you fly out? I’d love to see you both. If you don’t mind chauffeuring around a cripple, I can show you some interesting places.”

  “Oh, pish posh, Nathan Fletcher. You are not going to start on that self-pity road. No, sir. You are stronger than that. Cripple my fine ass!”

  He chuckled. She had always been a beautiful woman, and he recalled her pageant photos. “Yes, indeed, Mom, you’ve always had a fine ass.”

  “That’s better. You know, I would love to take a trip to Hawaii. What better time than now? We’re not getting any younger you know.”

  “Great! You won’t have to worry about a hotel; you can stay at my house. Just let me know the flight arrangements.”

  “Won’t Dave be surprised! I’ll let you know and give you a call back as soon as we’ve ironed out the details. You take care of yourself and no more of that cripple talk, you hear me?”

  “Will do my best.”

  He lay back on the pillow, staring at the ceiling. Mom never failed to cheer him up, but he didn’t know if her brief ray of sunshine would be enough to get him through the hell that lay before him.

  Kini Akana was a tough therapist. He had no clue how a one-hundred-pound woman could inflict so much pain on a two-hundred-pound former Marine. She was tough, relentless, and pushed him harder than his drill sergeant ever had. She shut down his excuses as fast as he threw them out. And, the near scent of her was driving him wild with desire.

  Nate despised her during therapy. He dreaded seeing her at two o’clock, but at the same time, he looked forward to it.

  He winced as her long black hair brushed his thigh. It wasn’t for the pain in his leg, it was for another pain causing him to stiffen. Her gentle touch sent sparks straight to his groin. Her firm touches sent ripples of excitement through him. He found himself focusing on her full lips, imagining his own pressed against them.

  “Nathan, you need to focus.” Her lips formed into a sexy little pout as she urged him through the exercises.

  Oh, he was focusing all right, focusing on the curve of her breast, her tiny waist, and her firm round ass. The way she swiped a loose strand of hair behind her ear had him wanting to pull her close and test those lips for endurance and pliability. He was certain they would fit his like a matching puzzle piece.

  “Nathan. You’re not listening.” She stood upright, her hands crossed over her chest. Damn! Why did she have to be so damn sexy?

  “Sorry, what?” He blinked away his fantasy visions as he adjusted in the chair.

  “I said, stand on your right leg, using the crutch to put your full weight on so that your gate is even.”

  “Do you work at the main hospital sometimes? I think I saw you before I was discharged.” He was doing his best to do as she said. He wondered if he stood a chance with her with his missing limb. She seemed to like his company, but was it just part of the job or was it more?

  “Just for training. We just finished a PT class to get recertified. Now focus.”

  He groaned as he focused on making an even gait. Was it even called a gait when you only had one leg? He figured she wouldn't appreciate him joking after telling him to focus. His muscles ached after being confined to that blasted wheelchair for so long. His arms ached, his hip screamed. Who would have thought walking could be so painful?

  “Yay! You did it. See? I told you when you stop making excuses, you could do it. OK, so for a reward, I promised to bring you a shave ice. I’ll bring it to your room when I’m done with Mr. Chauncey.”

  The smile she flashed made him feel ten feet tall and just as much of a man as anyone with both legs. Being around her was the only bright spot in the whole schedule of therapists and counselors.

  He watched as she walked away, imagining how her ass would look in a bikini, or better yet, with nothing at all instead of the Hawaiian print scrubs she wore. When she had moved beyond his sight, he turned to wheel himself back to his room only to find that she had taken the wheelchair and he was left with the crutches.

  “Damn woman.” He tried to repeat the same thing she just had him do, but he struggled to have a smooth gait. It would take practice.

  When he made his way back to his room, Kai was sitting by the window waiting for him. Kai came by most days to visit. Some days he would give the surf report, other days he would sneak Nate edible food. Most days the cousins managed to find something to laugh over. Today, Kai had brought him the shrimp basket from his favorite food truck.

  As they sat there eating, Kini came in with the shave ice. “Knock, knock. A reward for my hard-working man!” She carried it over setting it on the rolling cart, glancing at the meal that Kai had brought. “Hey, where’s mine, Kanaka?”

  “I’ll bring you some next time, sista,” Kai responded, not really meaning it.

  “Hey, tell you what. Thursday, let’s eat at the pier. Kini can help me with my mobility to get out there, I’ll give you the jack, and you bring the food. Deal?” Nathan hoped they would both take the bait and his first “date” with Kini would be an easy casual way to get to know her better.

  “You paying?” Kai looked up between bites.

  “Yup,” Nathan responded hoping that Kini wouldn’t raise an objection.

  “I’ll agree to that under one condition.” Kini crossed her arms. “We go all the way down the pie
r and back before we eat so that you can get your steps in.”

  “Ugh. She’s a slave driver, Kai. I swear the first day I arrived, she was wearing a leather corset and had a whip. Thought they had brought me to a different type of place.”

  “Oh, that’s going to cost you,” Kini said pointedly to Nathan before she left the room.

  “So, what’s with the sista?” Kai asked after slurping the last of his drink.

  Nate shrugged as he grinned.

  “It’s like that?”

  “Not yet, but I’m hoping.”

  “She outta your league, Brah. You better bring more to the game than that.” Kai punched him in the shoulder as he bit his lower lip. “’Bout time you get out there. It’s been hell with you moping around since you been here.”

  “Oh, come on, I haven’t been that bad.”

  “Yeah, you have. Been a sad, sorry pup in the love department. Leilani was thinking about setting you up with her sister.”

  He held his hands up in surrender. “I’m not that desperate yet, man.” He’d seen Leilani’s sister, and he was not interested. “No offense.”

  “I thought that might light a fire under you. None taken. I wouldn’t tap that eitha.”

  They finished their lunch with conversations of ohana, the surf report, the weather, and the upcoming surf championships that he wanted to attend. They hashed out details for the event before Kai left.

  Nathan lay back on his bed, hands clasped behind his head. His daughters would be here in two weeks. His former in-laws would stay with them at his house while he finished up his rehab, then he could go home.

  He had formed a good relationship with Kini over the past several weeks. All of his dreams and fantasies revolved around her. He’d managed a few trips with her down to the pier, down the main boulevard, or out to the beach, but when he got near the water’s edge, he made excuses to stay where he was. He wasn’t having as many flashbacks or nightmares, but the PTSD was still there. The terror of the ocean and sharks would start rising in his chest, and he’d back away.

  The staff counselor had offered little help in getting it under control. A Captain James from the Veterans Association stopped by to visit him, reminding him that he qualified for full veteran’s benefits, and they had a counselor that was familiar with lost limbs and PTSD. Well, he didn’t throw the PTSD out there; Nathan read it in the pamphlet that he left. It was tempting, except he’d have to leave Kini. Their timeline for receiving his prosthetic leg was half the time in this place.

  “What are you doing just lounging about? We’ve got work to do.” Kini stood arms crossed at the foot of the bed.

  He swung his legs to the side, reaching for his crutch. “Sorry, must have dozed off. Hey, you want to go for ice cream after our session?”

  “Can’t. I’ve got three more people to see before I can go home.” She walked beside him, not aiding him. “Good job. You haven’t made excuses all week long.”

  He grunted a response as he swung the crutch forward.

  “Except for why you won’t go near the water.”

  He leveled her a look. “It’s complicated.”

  She rolled her eyes as she turned, facing him. Kini put her hands on her hips, leaning toward him slightly. “Just like a haole. No, it isn’t complicated. I get it.”

  She opened the door and Nathan pushed his way through at a brisk pace.

  “You were attacked by a shark, you lost part of your leg, and it amplified your PTSD. It’s not going to get better without facing your fears.”

  Nathan pushed through the physical therapy as fast as he could. It pissed him off that she was poking into stuff that she had no right.

  “How do you know that?” He said through grunts of his weightlifting.

  “I read it in your file, Mr. Former Marine.” She was smiling as she said it, not realizing how angry he was getting.

  “Why are you reading my file? Checking up on me?” He grimaced as he pushed the barbell onto the support bracket. Any other day he might have found it flattering, but not today. Today, it pissed him off.

  She crossed her arms over her chest, cocking her head to one side. “Well excuse me for trying to make a therapy plan for my patient.”

  Her patient. Of course, he was her patient. He mentally berated himself for reading more into the long walks down the beach and pier. He scolded himself for assuming she had feelings for him.

  Nate felt ten times the fool, just like when he'd found out about Tonya's cheating.

  “Are we done here?” He spoke through the panted breaths, a sheen of sweat around his hairline and under his armpits.

  “Here, yes. There,” she pointed out the window toward the surf, “You are a long way from being done.”

  He couldn’t explain his reaction. It was irrational, but his anger got the better of him. “That’s none of your business,” he shouted as he shoved the chair across the room.

  “OK.” She held her hands up in surrender. “Now that we have that straight…”

  She paced around for a few seconds, her hands on her hips as she moved. She came to a halt, standing in front of him. She barely came up to his chest. She stood so close that he could smell the shampoo she used.

  “Work on getting your steps in this weekend. I’ll see you back here on Monday.” She turned on her heels, letting the door slam shut behind her.

  Nathan stared at the door, blaming Kini for shutting him out, for shutting down that phase of his journey.

  “Nope. Not going to happen.” He reached for his crutch, swinging it wildly as he headed back to his room.

  He searched through the drawer for the pamphlet and called Captain James. It was time to take charge of his life. He wasn’t sure what was going on with Kini but apparently, it didn't matter anyway. Fine!

  He needed a change of scenery anyway.

  As he sat in the dining hall, he had second thoughts, wondering if he was being too impulsive.

  Damn it! How could he let her know that he wanted more from her than the physical therapy? He tore into the barbecued chicken as if it was his last meal, asking for seconds. If only they could bring him a highball to go with his meal.

  Two hours later, he was loaded into the transport vehicle, assisted by a couple marines.

  “You’ll like it at the VA hospital. They get us marines. Dr. Thompson really helped me get hold of my PTSD and depression after I lost my leg,” offered one of the men, Corporal Whitaker.

  Nate looked him over, noting that there wasn’t any evidence of a limp. “You lost your leg? But you walk as if you have two legs with no limp.”

  “I sure didn’t when I left this place. Not until I was around other Marines and SEALs who knew what it was like to have been in combat.” He nodded back to Nate.

  His heart sank. “I don’t know man, I didn’t lose my leg in battle, I lost it to a goddamned shark!” He angrily climbed into the back of the jeep.

  “You served. You survived firestorms; you know what it’s like. The fact that you made it back in one piece is a testament to your resolve. Doc won’t give you any special privileges for it being a shark. It’s gone all the same.” He nodded to Nate.

  Nate glanced back at the Kauai Center, determined to face his demons once and for all.

  Two months passed while Nate went through rehab. He could maneuver around with his crutches well and was able to return home and to his job.

  Life was good as he spent time with his girls nearly every day. On the days that he had therapy, he only got a chance to peak in on them in bed.

  If there was anything good in his life, it was Jalyn and Jasmine, his daughters. They gave him the motivation to push through the pain, to strive to do better.

  Mom and Dad had visited for two weeks, making certain that the girls were adjusted before they left. It was a drastic change from the Midwest, but the girls were excited to be able to go to the beach and see dolphins.

  Most days, Vera would take them while he was at physical therapy. Some
times on the weekend, he would take them and go right up to the water’s edge, but still couldn’t bring himself to venture any further than getting his foot wet.

  A new school year was about to begin and he had to meet with the board for review, formalities to discuss how everything is going now that he is out of the hospital.

  Nate was a nervous wreck. His PTSD had been out of control. It was as if the time spent with the counselor had only aggravated his condition, not helped. He had nightmares nearly every night. It had progressed into his waking consciousness as well.

  “Howsit?”

  “S’alright.” Nate nodded, lying through his teeth.

  Kai took a swig of his beer, staring out at the ocean. He felt bad for his cousin, but at the same time, it was time for him to conquer his fears.

  “That’s a big fat lie.”

  Nate nursed his own beer. “Yup.”

  “How’s the case with Kang?”

  Neither man looked at the other. It wasn’t necessary. They had become like brothers. They shared a blood bond, and Kai had been there for Nate when no one else had. Well, besides Kini.

  “I won. The divorce was no contest, so that’s done. I get custody of the girls. When she gets out in ten years, we will go back to court to arrange visitation.”

  “Brah! Sorry she did you like that. You deserved betta.”

  “Thanks.” Nate took a long swig, finishing off his beer. He reached into the cooler for another, offering his cousin a second as well.

  “So, when you going back out there?” Kai stared straight ahead at the ocean.

  Nate hung his head. “Can’t.”

  “You ain’t nevah gonna get better if you don’t face your fears.”

  “I… I’ve been seeing a counselor. My PTSD is out of control. I’ve had suicidal thoughts, and I have to get control over this. I have two beautiful girls that are counting on me.” He shook his head, a nervous laugh as he continued.

  Kai listened, waiting for his cousin to continue.

  He let out a deep sigh. “It’s complicated.” Nate threw back the remainder of his beer. “Look, I really dig Kini, but I think I screwed that up too. That last day at Kauai, I had a huge freak out at the fountain. Then when we moved back indoors, she reminded me that I was her ‘patient.’ I think I read things in there that I wanted to and there was never any connection.”