Blinking back tears, she lifted her face to the warm breeze as Papa turned the wagon into the long lane that led to their house. If Diedrich caught her crying, he would want to know why, and this was not the time or place to tell him.
As they neared the house, the sight of a wagon and team parked between the house and barn swept away Regina’s anguished thoughts.
Mama gripped Papa’s arm and gave a little gasp. “Ernst, is that not Sophie and Ezra’s team? And why would they have chairs and feather ticks in the back of the wagon?”
Mixed emotions swirled in Regina’s chest at the prospect of seeing her eldest sister. Though she itched to hold her baby nephew, Henry, she and Sophie could rarely share a room for a half hour without getting on each other’s nerves. She had often wondered how she and Sophie could be sisters and yet be so different from each other. But since she had learned they were not blood sisters, their different personalities made a little more sense.
When they had all climbed down from the wagon, Sophie appeared from a wedge of shade beside the house. Glancing behind Sophie, Regina could now see Ezra playing with two-year-old Henry on a quilt spread out on the grass.
Mama beamed as she hurried toward the little family. “Sophie, Ezra, it is wunderbar that you have come. Where is my kleines Henry, my liebes Enkelkind?” But as Sophie neared, the distraught look on her face wiped the smile from Mama’s.
Practically running the last few steps, Sophie threw herself into Mama’s arms and sobbed. “Oh Mama, Papa. You must help us. We are desperate!”
CHAPTER 20
Feeling slightly awkward, Diedrich stood behind Regina, cupping her shoulders with his hands to silently lend his support. Obviously something was not well with her eldest sister and family. The last thing Regina needed was another emotional blow.
Frau Seitz hugged her eldest daughter and murmured words of comfort while alternately begging her to explain the cause of her distress. The woman’s husband walked toward them, their young child perched on the crook of his arm. No hint of a smile touched Ezra Barnes’s bearded face, which looked haggard and drawn.
Herr Seitz’s frowning glance bounced between his distraught daughter and his son-in-law. “Sophie, Ezra, you must tell us now. What is the matter?”
Frau Seitz gently pushed Sophie away enough to look into her tear-reddened eyes. “Sophie, what is wrong?”
Sophie sniffed and for a moment appeared to get a better grip on her emotions. “We—we have been put out of our home.” The last word dissolved into another wrenching sob.
Ezra, his eyes also red-rimmed, approached his wife and rubbed her back with his free hand. In a gentle tone that held only a hint of scolding, he said something to her in English. Diedrich wished he had worked harder to learn the language.
The toddler, whom Frau Seitz had called Henry, whimpered and sucked his thumb so hard he made soft popping noises. Diedrich’s heart went out to the little boy, who appeared at once confused and frightened. Fidgeting in his father’s grasp, he began to whimper louder, and Regina reached up and eased him from Ezra’s embrace.
Rocking the child in her arms, she whispered comforting hushes while brushing soft brown curls from his round cherubic face. “Shh, mein lieber Junge, shh.” She bounced him in her arms and patted his back then kissed his rosy cheek.
At the sight, Diedrich’s heart turned over. In a flash, he caught a glimpse of what their future might hold, and a sweet longing pulsed in his chest. What a wonderful mother she would make. How he would love to drive her back to St. John’s Church this minute and ask Pastor Sauer to join them in holy matrimony. But too many things needed to be resolved before that could happen, including whatever plagued Sophie and her little family.
Herr Seitz harrumphed. “We must all go in the house and talk, I think.” Moving as one, the group headed to the house. When everyone had situated themselves around the kitchen table, a slightly more composed Sophie, speaking in German, began to explain the family’s plight.
“You know that Ezra’s brother, Dave, brought him into his wheelwright business shortly before we married.” Frau and Herr Seitz nodded, worry lines etching deep crevices in their faces. Sophie drew in a ragged, fortifying breath. “Lately, business has not been good.” She sniffed. “A new wagon shop opened on the other side of town. Their operation is larger, and they began to undercut us in price.” She gave her husband a brave smile. “Dave never liked it that Ezra fixed wheels for people on promise of payment. And when business fell off, it irritated him even more.” Her fingers trembled across her cheek, wiping away a tear. “They argued all the time. Then Dave began to claim that money was missing from each day’s till and accused Ezra of taking it.”
Frau Seitz pulled the handkerchief from her sleeve and handed it across the table to her daughter, who wiped her eyes and delicately blew her nose. “Well, one thing led to another. Ezra and Dave got into a terrible argument, and Dave fired Ezra.”
Regina shifted a squirming Henry on her lap. “But surely when Dave calms down, he will listen to reason. Perhaps you are being too hasty.”
Diedrich couldn’t help wondering if Regina was mentally comparing Ezra’s situation with his brother to Diedrich’s feud with his father.
Sophie shot Regina a scornful glare and snorted. “Don’t you think we tried to reason with him?” she snapped. “He fired Ezra two weeks ago. We’ve been trying to reason with him ever since.” Her face crumpled again, and she began to weep in earnest. “Because money was so tight, we had gotten way behind on our note for the house. By the time Dave fired Ezra, we had already missed three payments. So when Tom Pemberton down at the bank found out that Ezra had lost his position, he told us he couldn’t float us any longer and said we would have to move out so the bank could resell the house.”
Frau groaned. “Oh Sophie. Why did you not tell us sooner? Why did you let things get so bad?” She shook her head. “I was afraid something like this might happen. I knew you should not have bought such an expensive house.”
Sophie sobbed, and Ezra gathered her in his arms. “We thought business would get better,” she mumbled from her husband’s shoulder. “We never imagined Ezra would be out of work.”
Herr Seitz shook his head and put his hand on his wife’s arm. “None of that matters now, Catharine. The past is the past. It is gut that Ezra has a skill. I am sure he will find work soon.” In the midst of all the gloomy faces, his brightened. “For now, you will live here with us, and Ezra can help me and Diedrich with the threshing and putting up the hay.”
He rose, and everyone followed. With a smile that looked strained, Herr Seitz glanced at Diedrich and Ezra. “Now we must give the kitchen to the Frauen so they can make us dinner.” Lifting Henry from Regina’s lap, he headed to the front room, and Ezra and Diedrich followed.
There, Herr Seitz and Ezra conversed in English with Herr Seitz translating in German for Diedrich. Henry played on the floor with a ball of yarn his grandfather had found in Frau Seitz’s sewing basket. Though he didn’t feel it proper to ask, Diedrich couldn’t help but wonder where everyone would fit in the house.
Later, a somber mood reigned over the noon meal, lightened occasionally by Henry’s rambunctious antics. Mostly the conversation was in English, which Diedrich assumed was for Ezra’s benefit. Still far from proficient in the language, Diedrich struggled to follow what was being said. Between the little he could glean and what Regina translated for him, he gathered that the talk stayed mostly on the upcoming threshing. For each time Ezra’s brother’s name was mentioned, Sophie would begin to weep.
Diedrich understood Sophie’s distress. But Regina’s reticent attitude both perplexed and troubled him. She scarcely looked at him. And when she did, her eyes welled with tears. Even more worrisome was his sense that her sadness didn’t entirely spring from her sister and brother-in-law’s problems. In the churchyard she had said she needed to talk with him about something. Could whatever was on her mind earlier be the cause of her odd behavior?
He was determined to talk with her privately after dinner and find out.
After the meal, Diedrich again joined Ezra and Herr Seitz in the front room while the women tidied up the kitchen. Sitting quietly, he only half listened as the other two men discussed the Barneses’ financial problems. His mind kept drifting to Regina, wondering what she might have wanted to discuss with him.
“Diedrich, I—I need to talk with you.” Her voice from the doorway surprised him, bringing him upright in his chair. He experienced a flash of alarm at her grim tone and the odd way her gaze refused to hold his.
His heart pounding with trepidation, Diedrich sprung from his seat. Mumbling an apology to Herr Seitz and Ezra, he carefully sidestepped Henry on the floor and followed Regina into the kitchen, where Sophie and Frau Seitz still worked. With her head bowed and her arms crossed over her chest, Regina stalked purposefully through the kitchen and out the back door. His concern growing with each step, Diedrich trailed behind, trying to think of anything he might have done or said to upset her.
Lengthening his steps, he caught up with her at the corner of the house. He put his hand on her shoulder, bringing her to a stop. “Regina, what is it? Tell me what is the matter.”
Finally, she turned. The tears welling in her blue eyes ripped at his heart. Obviously he had misjudged the extent to which Sophie and Ezra’s situation bothered Regina.
He drew her into his arms. “It will be all right, mein Liebchen. Your Vater is right. With Ezra’s skills, he is sure to find work as a wheelwright soon. Until then, Sophie, Ezra, and Henry have a home here with family who love them.” It felt good to hold her in his arms and comfort her.
To his surprise she pushed away from him. She shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I am not upset about Sophie and Ezra.” She made impatient swipes at the wetness on her face as if angry at herself for crying.
Diedrich’s bewilderment mounted along with his feelings of helplessness. “Then why are you crying, Liebchen?”
She stepped away, and fresh tears flooded down her face. “Please, you must not call me that.”
“But why?” Diedrich took her hands in his. He couldn’t guess what might be troubling her, but he couldn’t comfort her until he found the cause of her anxiety. Her pain-filled eyes stabbed at his heart. He rubbed the backs of her hands with his thumbs. “Have I done something to upset you? If I have, I beg your forgiveness—”
“Diedrich, I must break our engagement.” With that astounding declaration, she slipped her hands from his. Turning, she walked toward the garden bench he had begun to think of as theirs.
Feeling as if someone had punched him hard in the stomach, Diedrich stood stunned, unable to think or move. When his frozen limbs thawed and his mind began working again, his thoughts raced. He followed her to the bench and sat down beside her, praying she did not mean the words she had said. Surely they were simply a result of the several emotional blows she had suffered over the past couple of weeks.
He tried to capture her hands, but she pulled them away and folded them in her lap. Frustration tangled with the pain balling in his chest. “Why, Regina? Why would you say such a thing?” Had she decided she didn’t love him after all? He couldn’t believe it. Gripping her arms, he forced her to meet his gaze. His heart writhed. “Do you not love me, Regina? Is that what you are saying? You no longer want to marry me?”
The agony in her lovely eyes both tortured him and gave him hope. “Nein. That is not what I am saying.”
Diedrich thought his head would explode. Having earlier watched Ezra Barnes deal with Sophie’s tears, he felt a comradeship with the man. Mustering his patience, he blew out a long breath. “But if you still love me, why do you wish to break our engagement?”
Regina sniffed, making Diedrich regret the sterner tone he had taken. “It is not that I wish to break our engagement. I feel I must break it for now, if we are ever to have the chance to marry.”
Diedrich’s temples throbbed. He strove to keep a tight rein on his patience. “You are speaking nonsense, Regina. Either you want to marry me, or you don’t.”
New tears sketched down her face, smiting him with remorse. “Weren’t you listening to Pastor Sauer’s sermon?” She folded her arms over her chest as if to close herself away from him. “By defying your Vater and keeping our engagement, are you not dishonoring him?”
Diedrich winced at her words that reminded him of his painful separation from Father. Not a moment passed that their estrangement didn’t gouge a fresh wound in his heart. Every day as he worked in the hayfields with Herr Seitz, he expected to look up at any moment and see Father striding toward them, smiling and waving his hand. But so far, it hadn’t happened. More than once Diedrich had started toward the new log house with the intent to confront Father and try again to make him see reason. But each time he had turned back, fearing his efforts would only result in doing irreparable damage to their fragile relationship. Only Regina’s love and his faith that God would eventually soften Father’s heart had kept him going. It hurt him that Regina lacked the patience to wait for God to work.
Since her hands remained folded and tucked firmly against her body, he gently grasped her arms. “Regina, it has only been two weeks. I am sure that Vater will repent and give us his blessing soon. Besides, if we break our engagement, he will have less reason to change his mind. I have faith that Gott will change Vater’s heart if we only pray and have patience.”
Scooting back away from his grasp, she waved her hand through the air, barely missing a black and orange butterfly flitting past. “And you think your Vater will one morning wake and decide on his own that what he is doing is wrong, and he will then come and give us his blessing?”
Diedrich ignored the hint of scorn in her voice. “Perhaps it will happen that way. How can I know how Gott will work?”
She huffed. “But that is just it. Don’t you see? Gott uses us to do His work. Your Vater loves you, Diedrich. When he sees that what he is doing is making you sad, there is a much greater chance he will change his mind about us marrying.” She grasped his forearm, and her crystal-blue eyes, which matched the sky behind her, pleaded for understanding. “But as things are, he is not seeing you. He can put you and me out of his mind and go on being stubborn as long as he wants. So if you can go to him and honestly tell him that we are no longer planning to marry, he will talk to you again. Then you will at least have a chance to convince him to bless our marriage.”
Pondering her words, Diedrich rubbed his chin, already sprouting new stubble since his early morning shave. Her reasoning made some sense. But it also forced him to consider the possibility he had so far refused to face. What if Father never repented and gave them his blessing? No. He would not consider that. He trusted God to change Father’s mind, and Regina needed to do the same. “You may be right. Perhaps I can more easily change Vater’s mind if I can talk with him. But to me, breaking our engagement is like saying to Gott that I do not trust Him.” Another thought popped into his head to bolster his argument. “Besides, I promised your Vater we would remain engaged. If we do not, are we not dishonoring him?”
For a moment, Regina’s pale brows knit together in thought, giving him hope. But she shook her head. “I do not think it is the same thing. Papa would be sad if we broke our engagement, but he knows we cannot marry without Herr Rothhaus’s blessing. He would understand.”
Frustration built like rising steam in Diedrich’s chest. He wanted to throw up his hands and tell her that none of this mattered because in a few days Father would doubtless change his mind. Instead, he couldn’t resist trying another line of reasoning in an attempt to make her see things his way. “But by your thinking, we were dishonoring both our fathers when we decided not to marry after they had agreed between them that we would.” He arched an eyebrow at her. “Yet as I remember, you had no scriptural objection to our plan.”
Her face pinked prettily, and he couldn’t stop a grin. What fun it would be to mentally spar with Regi
na for the rest of his life.
A challenge flashed in her blue eyes, and her unflinching gaze met his squarely. “And do you remember what our plan was?”
“To convince our fathers we should not marry.” The words popped out of his mouth before he thought and was met by her triumphant and somewhat smug smile.
She nodded. “That is so. And if we convinced them, then we would not be disobeying or dishonoring them by not marrying.”
Blowing a quick breath of surrender, he gave her a sad smile. “You are a formidable opponent, Regina Seitz.” Yet he was prepared to surrender only this one skirmish—not the entire war. “I still believe by remaining engaged, we will sooner turn Vater’s thinking and win his blessing.”
She swiveled on the bench and looked across the potato patch with it plants now sporting white blossoms. For a long moment, she seemed to focus her attention on a bluish-gray bird with a snowy belly perched on a fence post beyond the garden. The bird’s head darted about as if following some unseen insect. Then, giving a bright whistling call followed by several chirps, he took flight. When he had gone, Regina sighed and pressed her clasped hands into the well of her apron between her knees. “So you do not believe you are dishonoring your Vater?”
“Nein.” He blew out a breath. “I do not know.” Why did she feel the need to force him to think of things he would rather not consider? He couldn’t keep the irritation from his voice. “But Vater is the one who is wrong. It is not from any belief that we are poorly matched that he is against our marriage, but because he refuses to forgive your birth Vater and Großvater.” He gazed down at her lovely face, and his heart throbbed with love for her. He had to make her understand. Cradling the side of her face with his hand, he gentled his voice. “I know you want to do as our Lord commands, but I think you are wrong in this.”
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