Handsome Cowboy (Handsome Devils Book 4)

by Lori Wilde

  “No, you agreed. And I didn’t argue. But here’s the thing, Leigh. I love you. And I want to marry you.”

  She stared at him. This was much worse than she’d expected. Not only had he used the L word, but he’d gone and used the M word, too.

  “Have you been thinking all along that I’ll change my mind and suddenly decide I can’t live without you?” she asked. “Was all this dating stuff some sort of plan, because if it was, it was a bad plan. And it didn’t work.”

  Jared didn’t seem upset with what she was saying. Just kinda resigned. “Fine. It may not have worked, but at least I gave it a shot.”

  Taking a step closer to her, he added, “You know, everyone in this town loves to point out to me all the things I’ve ever done wrong in my life. You’d think I was the only one in this town who ever made a mistake. But you know something? Loving you isn’t a mistake, and nobody’s going to tell me it is. Not even you. If you’re too scared to give us a chance, then that’s your mistake, not mine.”

  Leigh opened her mouth to say something, but he shook his head.

  “Let me finish,” he said. “I may not have all the answers, but I know one thing—you and I belong together. Not because I’m the bad boy in town, and I get your brothers upset. But because I love you more than any man ever will.” He drew in a deep breath. “And what’s really sad is deep down, you know I’m right. You’re just too confused to admit it. Even to yourself.”

  With that, he turned and walked away from her. Leigh stared after him. Wow. She hadn’t really expected that. Okay, that was a lie. She had sort of expected it. But she hadn’t expected him to be so...sincere.

  Well, he was wrong about her. About them. He might like to think that she loved him, but she didn’t. She liked him. She liked him a lot. But that wasn’t love.

  Love was...a million clichés occurred to her, but that was all. Her mind was drawing a complete blank.

  So she wasn’t sure what love was, but she knew what it wasn’t—it wasn’t what she felt for Jared Kendrick.

  Not at all.

  9

  “Don’t you know how to tell time?” Leigh asked her brother Chase when she found him standing on her doorstep at seven the next morning. “It’s Saturday. Some of us like to sleep in.”

  “Seven is sleeping in,” he said. Then he shoved a pastry box at her. “Here. Stop being grumpy. I brought jelly doughnuts. That should keep you from biting my head off.”

  Leigh yawned—deliberately—and took the box. “Fine. You gave me the doughnuts. Thanks so much. Now can I go back to sleep?”

  He chuckled. “To quote you, as if.” Without first asking permission, he squeezed past her and headed toward the kitchen. “Got any coffee made?”

  She so didn’t need this today. The fight with Jared had preyed on her mind, so she’d hardly gotten any sleep at all last night. All she wanted to do was curl up in bed and forget about everything.

  “No, I don’t have coffee made. Up until a couple of minutes ago, I was asleep.” When Chase didn’t answer, she padded after him. “Go home, Chase. I’m serious.”

  She found him making coffee. “Don’t do that. You won’t be here long enough to drink it. Take these doughnuts and go home. I’m sure Megan would like some breakfast, too.”

  “Megan’s still asleep,” he commented as he searched the cabinets. “Where do you keep your mugs?”

  Grrr. She walked over and grabbed a mug out of the cabinet next to the sink. “How come Megan gets to sleep in and I don’t?”

  “Megan’s pregnant. She needs her rest. You’ve got love life trouble, which you need to take care of.” He started the coffee and sat at her small kitchen table. “So what are you going to do about Jared?”

  She started to tell him it was none of his business, but then he said, “And how can I help?”

  Oh, now what was a girl with a broken heart supposed to do when her big brother offered to help? Leigh sat down next to him.

  “I guess somehow you know what happened last night at the stadium.”

  He nodded. “This is Honey. Everyone knows. A couple of folks overheard you.”

  Overheard. Spied on them. Same thing in Honey. With a groan, Leigh ran her hands through her hair. “Then they would have heard the part where I’m not interested in getting married. End of discussion. Jared and I want different things out of life. I thought we’d come to an agreement, but I guess not.”

  “I see,” Chase said. “Go on.”

  “Go on? There’s nothing more to go on to. We broke up. That’s the end of the story.” Although it bothered her admitting they were through, she’d just have to get used to it. Jared had known how she felt before they’d started dating. As far as she was concerned, it was dirty pool for him to try to change the rules now.

  Chase stood and headed over to the coffeepot. Once he’d filled two mugs, he brought them to the table.

  He shoved the mug with little hearts on it toward her. “Here.”

  Leigh shuddered. “It’s black. I’d rather drink motor oil.”

  “Why drink coffee at all if you’re going to gunk it up with milk and sugar?” Chase took a big sip from his mug. “Yum.”

  “One man’s yum is this woman’s yuck,” Leigh informed him. She headed over to the refrigerator and got out the milk. After pouring a healthy dose into her mug, she returned to her seat.

  “So how is Megan doing? Still feeling sick?” she asked.

  Chase chuckled. “Nice try, kiddo, but you’re not changing the subject. Unlike you, Megan is fine.”

  “You know, I’m getting tired of you saying something is wrong with me. Just because I’m not interested in falling in love and getting married doesn’t mean I’m the one who’s wrong,” she pointed out. Then, hoping if she were eating he’d leave her alone, she snagged a doughnut out of the box and took a big bite.

  For a second, Chase just watched her. Then he said, “We boys never meant to make you miserable. Nathan, Trent, and I just wanted to take care of you ’cause you’re our sister and we love you. I’m sorry if we made you feel stifled.”

  This couldn’t be Chase, the man who had single handedly broken up most of her dates during high school, and even a couple during college.

  She tapped the side of her head. “Excuse me? I must be hearing things. I thought you apologized.”

  Chase laughed. “Okay, okay. I know. It’s not something I’ve done a lot in my life. Guess being married has mellowed me.”

  “Mellowed you. Not me. I’m still looking forward to having some fun and excitement in my life,” she pointed out.

  “You know, love and excitement are compatible, Leigh. You keep acting like if you fall in love, your life becomes dull and boring. That’s just not true. Look at me. I’m about to become a dad. I don’t think there’s anything boring about that.”

  Leigh wanted to argue with him, but nothing came to mind. “I guess,” she relented. “But it’s not about that.”

  “It’s about having your own way for once in your life, isn’t it?” he asked. “Because you feel like Nathan, Trent, and I pushed you around, you now want to call the shots. That’s understandable. And I won’t lie to you, when you fall in love, you have to be willing to compromise. Not issue ultimatums like you did to Jared.”

  “Hey, I didn’t issue an ultimatum,” she maintained.

  “The way I understand it, you told him not to fall in love with you, then got mad at him when he did. Sounds like an ultimatum to me.”

  Well, it wasn’t. Not at all. It was...the rule for their relationship. Okay, okay, her rule. Maybe she hadn’t given him a lot of options. Or any options for that matter. Maybe she had said how she thought things should go and had expected that to be that.

  She nibbled on her doughnut, suddenly unsure. Now that she thought about it, that didn’t seem right. Or fair. Jared was a person, too. Why didn’t he get some say in their relationship?

  Grrr. More importantly, why did Chase have to point all this out to her
and muddy waters she thought were crystal clear?

  Chase stood. “Guess I’d better head on back home. You seem to be doing okay. I thought you’d be all weepy because you were never going to see Jared again. But you’re just fine.”

  He leaned down and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “See ya, kiddo. Don’t forget, you’re riding to the alumni dance with Megan and me.”

  Ah, jeez. The dance. She’d completely forgotten about the dance tonight.

  “I don’t think I’ll go,” she said.

  Chase gave her a pointed look. “Now won’t that give the town something to talk about? I can hear it now—Leigh Barrett had a big fight with Jared Kendrick, and now she’s too ashamed to even show her face in public.”

  Leigh was beyond caring what everyone in Honey thought. But sitting around her house wouldn’t do her any good. And besides, she was starting to think she might owe Jared an apology. “Yeah, you’re right. I’ve got no reason not to go.”

  She glanced at the clock. She’d need to get busy since she was going to the dance tonight. She wanted to be composed, and she didn’t feel even remotely composed yet. She felt...sad. She might not be weepy like Chase had expected, but she was hurting. As much as she hated to admit it, she missed Jared. A lot.

  And it had only been since yesterday.

  She looked up at Chase. She was glad he’d stopped by, glad to know that her doofy brothers were always there for her. “Thanks.”

  “No thanks necessary. See you later, kiddo.” Leigh nodded, but her mind was already on tonight. She could only hope that Jared intended on coming to the dance because she needed to talk to him.

  She needed to talk to him badly.

  “But you have to come to the dance,” Janet Defries said for about the millionth time.

  Jared sighed. Why didn’t the woman just take no for an answer and head on home? Her riding lesson had ended twenty minutes ago. It was time for her to leave.

  But good manners kept him from kicking her out. Instead, he said patiently, “Janet, I’m not coming to the alumni dance. That’s that.”

  “Because of Leigh Barrett? Oh, come on. You have to move on with your life. Get back on the horse.”

  “Pull myself up by my bootstraps?” he couldn’t resist adding.

  Janet frowned. “Don’t tease. You have to come. The awards committee has something for you.” She placed her hands on her hips and tried to look sexy. “Besides, you owe me a dance.”

  “Since when?” He started leading Spirit toward the bam, figuring Janet might finally get the hint.

  Unfortunately, she didn’t. She simply fell into step next to him. “Since the senior prom. I asked you to dance with me, and you said later. Well, it’s later, Jared. You owe me a dance.”

  There was no way he was dancing with Janet. Or anyone else for that matter. All he wanted to do was stay home and take care of his ranch. He’d had no intention of going into Honey for a while.

  He’d stay out here by himself. Well, by himself with Steve Myerson’s brother and his family. And the family from Little Rock who’d heard about the new dude ranch and showed up on his doorstep today with no reservations but high hopes.

  Dang. Even his business wasn’t working out right. “I’m not going, Janet. Have a good time, though.”

  They’d reached the barn, and he started to head inside when she said, “So, that’s it? Leigh says no, and you give up? The way I heard it, you told her you loved her and how things were going to be. But she threw your love back in your face. You can’t hide out now. People will think you’re a coward.”

  Jared considered what she said. He didn’t really care what the people of Honey said. What bothered him was Janet’s interpretation of what had happened. Had he really told Leigh how things were going to be?

  Now that he thought about it, maybe he had. He hadn’t said it would be okay for them to still be together even if she didn’t want to get married. He hadn’t said that he understood that she’d need time to think about what she wanted from their relationship.

  He’d told her.

  No wonder she’d told him no.

  He missed her so much. He couldn’t help thinking his plan had been dumb. He should have known better than to try to force her to fall in love with him.

  He should have let her make her own decisions.

  “I’ll be at the dance,” he said, his mind made up. Behind him, Janet started talking about all the things they could do once he showed up at the dance, but he wasn’t really listening.

  All he could think about was seeing Leigh tonight.

  “This isn’t working,” Jared said to Trent. He glanced at his watch. The dance had started twenty minutes ago, and she still wasn’t here. It looked like Leigh was going to skip the dance just so she didn’t have to see him.

  “You worry too much. She’ll come around. Just you wait,” Trent said, getting a couple of glasses of punch.

  “I agree. It’s early,” Erin said, taking one of the glasses of punch from her husband. “Wait and see what happens tonight.”

  Based on what had happened last night, he wasn’t sure she’d even give him the chance to apologize. He figured one of two things would happen: either Leigh wouldn’t show up or she’d show up, take one look at him, and walk the other way.

  He hated both scenarios.

  “Maybe I should head on home,” he said.

  Trent slapped him on the back. “Don’t give up yet. The night’s young. Lots of things can happen.”

  Jared watched as Trent and Erin set down their glasses, and then headed onto the dance floor. Yeah, lots of things could happen. Lots of bad things.

  He glanced at his watch yet again. Maybe he could wait another fifteen minutes. But after that, he really was going to head home. He’d try to call her in a few days and see if she’d talk to him. Maybe if she cooled down, she’d give him a second chance.

  Almost as if his mind were playing tricks on him, he heard her laughter floating down the hallway leading to the gym. She had come to the dance after all.

  For a split second, he felt like he was seventeen again, waiting for the most popular girl in town to notice him. Except now, the stakes were much, much higher. He wanted the woman he loved to forgive him.

  And he figured he had about as much chance of that happening as he did of flying by flapping his arms. Still, he tensely waited for Leigh to appear in the doorway.

  When she did enter, she looked amazing. She had on a long black dress that shimmered when she walked. The dress hugged her figure, draping over her curves and skimming down her long legs.

  Desire hit him hard, followed by longing. Dang, he missed her.

  After staring at Leigh for a long, long time, he finally noticed that Chase and Megan were with her. Focusing on Leigh, he waited for her to spot him. When she did, he expected her to immediately look away. But she didn’t. Her gaze stayed locked with his, and he couldn’t help hoping that was a good sign.

  At this point, he’d pretty much take anything he could get. He started to cross the room to talk to her, but the song ended and then Janet, Tammy, and Caitlin gathered around the microphone.

  “This year, we have a lot of great awards to give out, so let’s get started,” Janet said.

  Jared didn’t care about the awards. He only wanted to make his way through this crowd so he could talk to Leigh. It wasn’t easy, especially once they started announcing the winners. Who had traveled the farthest to come to homecoming, who had traveled the least. Yeah. Yeah. He tried to see Leigh, but he could no longer make her out in the crowd.

  Why didn’t they hurry up and finish these blasted awards?

  “And for the most likely to eventually employ all of us, Nathan Barrett,” Caitlin announced.

  Jared stopped and watched Nathan climb the steps to accept his award, which was actually a stuffed panther toy.

  “Gee, thanks,” he said.

  Poor guy. Jared really felt for Nathan. But true to form, Nathan was taking it
with good humor.

  They continued to give out awards, but rather than thinning the crowd, it seemed to actually make the people push closer to the stage. Finally there was a small break, so he cut through.

  And Leigh was standing there, not three feet from him.

  “Hi,” he said, coming over to her.

  “Hi.”

  For a moment, they just looked at each other. “I’m sorry about—”

  “I feel badly about—”

  They both laughed.

  “You go first,” she said.

  “Okay. Leigh, I was wrong to push you the way I did. You don’t have to fall in love with me, and we certainly don’t have to get married. All I’m asking is to be with you, and that you don’t mind if I’m in love with you.”

  She was grinning at him. “That’s so sweet. But I shouldn’t have backed you into a corner, either.”

  Jared was leaning down to kiss her when he heard Janet say, “And the award for the person most likely to get arrested, Jared Kendrick.”

  Ah, hell.

  He lifted his head, but before he could say anything, Leigh made a growling sound and stormed the stage. Baffled, he watched her take the stairs in a bound. Then, she grabbed the microphone out of Janet’s hand and faced the crowd.

  “What’s wrong with you people? Jared was a kid when he did all those things. You need to let it go and get on with your lives. You can’t tell me each and every one of you doesn’t have things in your past that the rest of us could rub in your face.”

  Janet started to take the microphone back, but Leigh glared at her. “Janet, you of all people shouldn’t want someone’s past thrown in their face.”

  With a gurgling noise, Janet moved away. Jared’s attention shifted back to Leigh. She looked magnificent up there, defending him.

  Man, he loved her.

  “And for the record, you should thank your lucky stars we had Jared. He made this town interesting. He kept things lively. But that was a long time ago, and by dwelling on it, you’re missing out on what a wonderful man he’s become. He’s kind and generous and...”