Stronger

by Janet Nissenson

  Rafe nudged him, none too gently, leaving Dante to wonder why in hell two of his siblings seemed intent on causing him bodily harm today. “Mom sure looks like she’s enjoying herself there. Think this means we’ll be getting a new stepfather for Christmas?”

  Dante scowled at his brother. “Do you go out of your way to sound like an asshole, or is that just second nature for you these days?” he groused. “They just met like two hours ago, hardly know anything about each other, and you’re already hearing wedding bells. Relax, kid. Mom’s been a widow for over twenty years and seems pretty content with her life the way it is.”

  Rafe shrugged, topping off both his and Dante’s wine glasses with the admittedly excellent Zinfandel that was produced here at the winery. “I’m just saying, Dan, that Mom must get pretty lonely these days with all of us grown up and living on our own. Granted, she still has her job at the restaurant to keep her busy, and when Talia finally pops that kid - Jesus, is she positive she isn’t having twins ‘cause she is fucking enormous - Mom will no doubt be doing a lot of babysitting. Other than that, she doesn’t have much of a social life. Can you blame her for craving some action once in awhile?”

  Dante made a sound of disgust. “Christ, do you really want to think about our mother having sex with this guy? Or any guy? I mean, she’s a good looking woman, kept herself in great shape for her age, but - ewww. She’s our mom, Rafe.”

  Rafe wrinkled his nose in distaste. “I see your point. Okay, let’s try this. Can’t you see Mom wanting to have a nice dinner and some pleasant conversation with a gentleman close to her age from time to time?”

  Dante laughed, picking up his wine glass. “That’s more like it!”

  The two brothers sipped their wine in silence for a few minutes, content to savor this time together. The evening was far from over, with the dancing still to come, and Dante was glad he didn’t have to worry about driving back to San Francisco tonight, given the amount of alcohol he’d already imbibed.

  Rafe’s voice broke the silence first. “So you’ve done a helluva job avoiding your ex so far, but do you honestly think you can keep that up for a few more hours?”

  Dante paused with his wineglass halfway to his mouth. “I have no intention of approaching Katie for this entire evening,” he replied icily.

  Rafe shrugged. “Okay. Whatever. Though you have to admit she looks great, probably the best looking woman here tonight. A little on the skinny side but still with those amazing legs. And in case you didn’t notice, she’s here alone, no date. And she keeps looking over here at you every few minutes. I’d say that’s the sign of a woman who wants to get her man back.”

  “Too bad for her,” answered Dante sarcastically. “She should have thought about that before prancing off to L.A. and telling me to have a nice fucking life.”

  Rafe ran a finger around the rim of his wine glass. “All I’m saying is that you could at least say hello to her. How many times did you tell me that she was the one for you, the love of your life. And then, after she broke it off, you called her the one that got away. She’s here tonight, though, isn’t she? Why don’t you swallow all that macho male pride and talk to her for a few minutes? How could that possibly hurt anything?”

  Dante hesitated, unwilling to admit to his brother - and to himself - that he simply didn’t trust himself to be around Katie for even a few minutes. He was afraid that being close to her again, hearing her voice, smelling her perfume, would bring back all the memories of their time together. And that those memories would threaten to chip away at the protective wall he’d erected around himself ever since she’d left for L.A.

  “I think under the circumstances that Katie should be the one to approach me, don’t you think?” he challenged.

  Rafe threw his hands up in the air. “Hey, do whatever you think best, Dan. But there’s no way Katie’s going to approach you with your little guard dog by your side. Especially since Gia’s been giving her dirty looks all evening.”

  Dante finished his glass of wine, then reached for the bottle only to find it empty. “I’m going to get a real drink. Want anything from the bar?”

  Rafe shook his head, holding up his mostly full glass of wine. “I’m good for now, thanks.”

  Dante made his way to the bar that had been set up at the opposite side of the courtyard from where he’d been sitting. He ordered a brandy, and had just stuffed some bills in the bartender’s tip jar when he heard a high-pitched, achingly familiar voice just behind him.

  “Hello, Danny. Could - could we maybe talk for a few minutes? Please? I’ve been waiting for the chance to say hello all evening.”

  He froze in place , the brandy snifter halfway to his lips, as he struggled with the right way to respond. If Gia had been around, she would have demanded he give Katie a scathing look before striding away without a word. His mother, on the other hand, would have insisted he do the polite thing and exchange pleasantries with her for a few minutes.

  In the end, his mother’s teachings won out, and he found himself turning around slowly to face the woman who had alternately been the love of his love, and the one who broke his heart. And though he was waging an internal battle with himself to remain emotionally detached and present a cool, distant image, the moment he gazed into Katie’s blue eyes and smelled the tantalizing scent of her perfume, Dante felt his resolve instantly begin to weaken.

  She was smiling at him softly, almost sadly, as she extended a hand towards him somewhat timidly. “It’s - it’s good to see you, Danny. Really good,” she offered in that sexy, breathy little voice. “How have you been?”

  He hesitated briefly before clasping her smooth, cool hand in his lightly. “I’ve been great, thanks,” he told her somberly. “And you look as though living in L.A. is definitely agreeing with you.”

  Katie squeezed his hand, as though she sensed he’d been about to withdraw it. “Actually,” she admitted softly, “I left L.A. a couple of weeks ago. For good this time. I’m staying with my parents for awhile until I get myself settled, figure out my future. It - well, I’m finally done with show business. It hasn’t treated me very well, I’m afraid.”

  Her announcement wasn’t all that surprising, given that he’d already known about her show being canceled. “I’m sorry that it didn’t work out for you,” he replied somewhat stiffly. “But I’m sure things will get better soon. Look, I’d better get back to my family. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

  “Wait. Please.”

  Katie clutched his arm as though holding on for dear life, and her voice sounded desperate, almost tearful. Her blue eyes were, in fact, moist with unshed tears.

  “Look, I know how angry you must be with me,” she ventured. “How hurt and upset. And I know I have no right at all to ask this but - well, I was really hoping you could spare me a few minutes to talk, maybe have a quick drink. I - I’d like the chance to apologize to you, explain a few things, and beg you to somehow forgive me for the horrible, selfish way I behaved in February. Please, Danny. I’ll beg if that’s what you want.”

  He regarded her skeptically for long seconds, trying to determine from her vocal tone, facial expression, and body language if she was truly being sincere or merely trying to play him. But then he recalled what a poor acting job she’d done in those sitcom episodes he had watched, and quickly decided she simply wasn’t capable of deceiving him.

  “Fine,” he agreed tersely. “One drink, that’s it. What would you like?”

  He ordered her a mojito, then followed her silently to a small, secluded table inside the winery’s tasting room. He wondered if she had scouted out this particular location ahead of time, then dismissed the thought as inconsequential as they sat down.

  Katie took a tentative sip of her drink, seeming uncharacteristically ill at ease. That particular behavior, more than anything else, gave Dante reason to believe that she was being sincere – because Katie had always been brimming over with confidence, the most self-as
sured woman he’d ever known.

  “You look good, Danny,” she told him quietly. “Happy. Are you – I mean, I know that I don’t have any right to ask, but I was just curious if you’re seeing someone right now.”

  His mouth tightened, not wanting to think about Cara at the moment, not wanting to wonder if even sitting across a table from Katie would be considered a betrayal of sorts of the woman he’d been dating. “I’ve been seeing someone, yes,” he muttered. “But I have no intention of discussing her with you, Katie. Now, what exactly did you need to say to me?”

  Katie looked stricken at his coolness towards her. “I wasn’t going to ask you for details, Danny,” she replied somberly. “And I’m glad you have someone who obviously makes you happy. She’s a very, very lucky woman, whoever she is. And probably a whole lot smarter than I was. Breaking up with you was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, the worst decision I’ve ever made. And I’ve regretted it every single day since I left last February. You were the most wonderful man I ever met, and I was a complete idiot to let my so-called acting career get in the way of our relationship. I – I just wanted you to know that. And to maybe, possibly, see if you could one day find a way to forgive me for what I did.”

  Tears were tracking down her cheeks as she spoke, but Katie was one of those rare women who looked beautiful even when she was crying. Dante swore softly beneath his breath, telling himself he was a fool for even listening to her, and handed her a paper cocktail napkin.

  She dabbed at her tears daintily before taking a tiny sip of her drink. “Thank you,” she sniffled. “I’m sorry to be such a basket case, but these last few months have been so awful, Danny. I’d forgotten how horrible Los Angeles can be since the last time I lived there. Oh, not just the traffic and the smog and the crowds. But how shallow and spiteful and mean people can be, especially in show business. I’ve missed my family and friends so much, been so lonely. It’s hard to make friends in a place like that, you know? You don’t know who you can trust, if someone who swears they’re your friend is going to wind up stabbing you in the back the next week. It’s good to be home, and I’m home for good this time. I’ll never, ever, even think of returning to L.A. again. Or trying to make a go of it as an actress.”

  “Hmm.” He tried like hell to sound disinterested. “I read that your TV show got cancelled, but I’m surprised you weren’t able to find other work.”

  Katie shook her head. “It’s a tough business,” she admitted. “There are literally thousands of young women wanting to be an actress, and we’re all competing for the same roles. And, as my agent so kindly pointed out,” she added sarcastically, “I’m not exactly getting any younger. He also told me that I’m a terrible actress, and that I should demand a refund from the acting classes I took. I was hurt at first to hear that, but after doing some real soul searching I realized he was probably right.”

  “He was an ass to say something like that to you,” offered Dante. “I’m sure you’re far more talented than he told you.”

  She beamed at him. “You’re sweet to say so. But unfortunately, Doug was right. I’ve been trying for more than a decade to succeed as an actress, and it’s time to finally grow up and move on.”

  He sipped his brandy thoughtfully. “So this is really it, huh? You’re really and truly retiring from acting?”

  Katie nodded emphatically. “Absolutely. I’ve been talking to my parents about the future a lot since I moved back in with them, and they think I should go back to college and get my degree, pursue a whole new career. Trouble is, I don’t think I’m smart enough to do that, not cut out to be a student at this point in my life. And even if I was I have no idea what I’d want to do.”

  “You’re plenty smart enough, Katie,” he assured her. “Don’t sell yourself short like that. What you need to figure out is what you might be interested in, do some research on careers in those fields, and then get some professional advice. There’s a firm in my building, in fact, that does career counseling and coaching. You should schedule an appointment with them – or someplace similar – and see what your options are.”

  For the next few minutes, they discussed what sort of career she might be interested in, what she was best suited for. Dante texted her the website of the counseling firm he’d mentioned, and she told him she would check it out the next day and hopefully set up an appointment within the next week or so.

  The conversation somewhat naturally transitioned into a discussion about their families, mutual friends, today’s wedding. After a time, Dante found himself forgetting that he was supposed to be furious with this woman, or that he’d promised himself to remain coolly detached and treat her impersonally. It just felt, well – natural to be chatting with her like this, like they had dozens of times before. And he could almost – almost – forget that several months had passed since they had seen each other, that she had chosen her career over a future with him, or that he was currently dating the sweetest, most kindhearted girl he’d ever known, even though he still insisted that there was nothing serious between them.

  He checked his watch, surprised to find that more than half an hour had passed. “I should be getting back to my family,” he announced, pushing back his chair and getting to his feet. “It was good to catch up with you, Katie. And I wish you all the best with whatever you decide to do. Don’t underestimate yourself, okay?”

  She nodded, rising from her chair slowly. “Thanks, Danny. I appreciate all of your advice. I always thought of you as the smartest guy I knew, as well as the nicest. And the best looking, of course!”

  He smiled faintly. “Thanks. Look, take care of yourself, hmm? And enjoy the rest of the evening.”

  “Wait.”

  Katie placed a hand on his forearm as he turned to leave. Dante looked at her quizzically as she seemed to struggle with what she wanted to say next.

  “I was just wondering,” she began. “Hoping, actually, that maybe we could keep in touch once in awhile? Oh, I know you’re dating someone, and I don’t want to interfere with that. But, well, maybe we could have coffee sometime? Or lunch? Or just talk on the phone occasionally. I’d love to get your advice about school and careers, since you know so much about business and such.”

  He hesitated. “Katie, I’m not sure that’s going to work out.”

  “Please.” Once again her blue eyes were moist with unshed tears, and her voice cracked a little. “Not a day goes by that I don’t regret what I did, Danny. That I don’t remember how good things were between us. And I know I’ve spoiled that, ruined things for good. But I’d really like the chance to make some of that up to you, to be your friend if nothing else. Please?”

  Dante called himself ten different kinds of a fool for falling for what he sure as hell hoped wasn’t some sort of elaborate act. But then, he’d always had a weakness for sad, helpless women, had always felt the urge to protect them and look out for them. It went back, he supposed, to the time when his father had died, and overnight he’d become the man of his family. Over the years, he had appointed himself the protector of his mother and sisters, and most of his longer term relationships had seemed to be with women who were more than content to let him take charge. And for all of her other faults and past transgressions, Katie was incredibly vulnerable and sad right now, and he would have felt like a real jerk for kicking her to the curb.

  “Why don’t you give me a call after you contact the career counselor?” he offered. “You can tell me what they had to say. And if you decide to set up an appointment with them, maybe we can grab coffee or a quick lunch if I’m free that day?”

  Katie beamed, her lovely face aglow with pleasure. “That would be wonderful, Danny,” she enthused. “I can’t think of anything I’d love more. I’ll make sure to call the counselor right away, and let you know what they say. Take care until then, okay?

  She pressed a soft, sweet kiss to his cheek, her breast brushing up against his arm, before giving him a little wave good-by a
s she walked away.

  The spot on his cheek where her lips had touched burned like a brand, and he rubbed at it angrily, as though to erase her touch.

  And as he returned to his own table – certain to be grilled about his whereabouts by both Rafe and Gia – Dante told himself that just because he’d offered to have a casual cup of coffee with Katie didn’t mean that he was in any danger whatsoever of once again falling under her spell.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Is everything okay? You’ve, um, seemed a little out of it all evening.”

  Dante glanced up from the plate of food he’d been staring at for long seconds, a forkful of chile relleno halfway to his mouth. Tonight he’d brought Cara to a little taqueria deep in the heart of the city’s Mission district, a place rarely frequented by anyone but the neighborhood residents who knew the prices were cheap, the beers ice cold, and the food both authentic and delicious.

  “Yeah, everything’s fine,” he was quick to assure her. “Sorry I’ve been so spacey tonight. It’s just been kind of a crazy week is all, really busy at work.”

  “I’m sorry.” She reached across the table to squeeze his hand. “We could have cancelled tonight if you weren’t in the mood to go out. Honestly, I would have understood.”

  Dante smiled at her, and linked his fingers with hers. “I know you would have, honey,” he told her. “You’re probably the most understanding, supportive person I’ve ever met. But I’m okay, I promise. And it probably does me good to get out, get my mind off of - things.”

  Cara returned his smile tentatively. “Okay. By the way, these are hands down the best carne asada tacos I’ve ever had. Thanks for bringing me here tonight.”