The Complete Makanza Series: Books 0-4

by Krista Street

  His chest rose and fell quickly. That beautiful, magnificent, chiseled chest that I’d spent so many nights dreaming about was only covered with a thin t-shirt. No jacket. No sweater. He wore just a t-shirt, jeans, and boots.

  “Meghan, I’m coming in whether you invite me or not. So you can either step aside, or I will pick you up and carry you in with me.”

  I opened my mouth and then closed it. Words still stayed trapped in my throat.

  The emotions fluttering around inside of me warred for attention. While one side was thrilled to see him, screaming internally like an overexcited teenager, the other side wanted to slam the door on his face as images of Jenna’s letters flipped through my mind, like a slideshow that wouldn’t stop.

  My hand tightened on the door handle.

  “Meghan . . .” His voice grew deeper.

  Before I could decide which option to choose, Davin morphed into a blur. A rustle of air caused hair to flow across my cheeks before he reappeared in my entryway, standing right beside me.

  I stiffened. His scent fluttered to me again—that achingly familiar scent of aftershave, soap, and something that was all Davin.

  Reaching down, he gently pried the door handle from my grasp and closed my apartment door. The sound of the bolt sliding into place came next.

  “What . . . How?” The words finally came out as I gazed up at him.

  His eyes softened. “I would have come sooner if it hadn’t been for that damn snowstorm outside Rapid City. The interstate was covered with ice for two days straight. There was no getting through.”

  A storm?

  It felt like eternity passed and passed again as we stood there.

  When he seemed sure that I wouldn’t start screaming and telling him to leave, his balled fists loosened. Putting his hands on his hips, his rounded shoulders stretched against his thin t-shirt as he gazed around.

  “So this is where you live. I’ve always wondered what it looked like.” He stepped away to study a photo hanging on my fridge. It was of me and Jeremy when we were kids. We’d gone on a weekend camping trip for school. Someone had snapped the shot as we sat around a campfire roasting marshmallows. Even then, even in school, we’d been inseparable.

  “Jeremy?” he asked quietly.

  I nodded. It was all I could manage as tears filled my eyes. It was all too much. My throbbing wound. The emotional day with Bethany. Davin showing up unannounced. Memories of Jeremy now filling my mind.

  In another blurred move, Davin was at my side again. He placed a finger under my chin, his brow furrowing.

  My breath sucked in as nerves alighted in my traitorous body.

  “We need to talk. I wish it could wait until a better time if now isn’t, but . . .” He dropped his finger and growled quietly. “I can’t give you that. Not now. I need answers. I need to know what the hell is going on.”

  Aghast, a tear streaked down my cheek. “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you what’s going on? Your ex-girlfriend showed up at the hospital, probably for the date you’d set up.”

  His mouth dropped. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  More tears filled my eyes as the letters spiraled through my mind. Davin still had no idea that I’d seen them. My hands trembled as I finally admitted what I’d done. “I saw them.” My voice shook with emotion. “I saw the letters she wrote you! That morning when I woke up in your bed on the reservation, while you slept on the couch, I found Jenna’s letters that you were hiding. I know you planned to meet her.”

  His head snapped back, his face going pale.

  Another tear rolled down my cheek. “So that’s what’s going on. That’s why I cut you out of my life. If you want her, fine, but don’t expect me to watch.”

  I squeezed my eyes tightly shut. I couldn’t look at his stricken expression anymore. It felt like eons passed.

  “Jesus.” He finally breathed.

  I opened my eyes to see him raking a hand through his hair. He did it over and over until his hand turned into a blur. Then, he began pacing.

  “I’ve been trying to figure out what I did.” He paced back and forth so quickly that I could barely follow his movements. “I knew Jenna showing up like that upset you, that was pretty obvious, but I didn’t know you saw the letters too. So that’s why . . .” He stopped and shook his head. “Fuck me. I wish I knew you’d seen those.”

  I swallowed tightly. It was taking everything in me to not begin sobbing.

  “So you think I’m with her?” he said quietly.

  I nodded. “That guilt on your face when she showed up . . .” I bit my lip painfully. “And how you agreed to meet her in the letters . . .” I swallowed the thick lump in my throat. “It didn’t take a genius to figure it out.”

  “But you have it all wrong!” His voice rose. “It wasn’t a date. She wanted to casually meet, and I agreed to it.”

  Despite his protest, the tears increased. “Is that why she drove all the way to South Dakota, to the reservation, from where . . . Texas, wasn’t it? Just for a casual meeting? That doesn’t seem very casual to me.”

  “I didn’t know she was going to do that.”

  I made a move to cross my arms which got a hiss of pain out of me.

  Davin straightened, his gaze darkening. “You’re hurting.”

  I tried to shrug it off but knew there was no point. He could always see through me as if he saw inside me.

  “Have you been taking your pain meds and resting like you’re supposed to?”

  “I’ve taken my pain meds around the clock.”

  He stepped closer until our toes brushed. “And the resting part? Have you been doing that too?”

  “I . . .” I looked away. “Kind of. I spent four days at my parents’ house.”

  “But you haven’t been resting today, obviously, since you’re here.” His tone grew deeper.

  I met his gaze again. “Speaking of which, how did you know where I lived?”

  “My mom.”

  Of course. “But how did you know I’d be here and not in Vermillion?”

  “Sara.”

  Double of course. The twin had been strangely quiet all day. Perhaps she was feeling guilty for going behind my back to apparently conspire with Davin.

  “So . . . have you been resting?” A dark lock of hair fell across his forehead. He made no move to brush it back.

  “No, not today. I worked today.”

  “Dammit, Meghan.” The words were quiet and soft. Frustration lined them. “Are you ever going to take care of yourself?”

  “I’m home, aren’t I? And it’s not even five o’clock.” My voice rose with each word. “Besides, Bethany needed me.”

  His head snapped back. “The Kazzie from Minnesota?”

  “Yeah.” I brushed away the tears on my cheeks that had settled like raindrops on a leaf. “She showed up at my parent’s house the other day, but all of that is beside the point. I believe we were talking about your relationship with Jenna.”

  He rolled his eyes. “There is no relationship with Jenna, which you would already know if you’d talked to me. Or called me back. Or read any of my damned text messages, which I’m guessing you never did since you think I’m with her.” He grumbled again before kicking his shoes off and placing his hands on his hips. “Have you eaten today? Drank enough?”

  I shuffled uncertainly. There isn’t a relationship? “Yes and yes.”

  “In that case, we’re moving into the living room so you can sit down. You look as pale as a ghost.”

  Probably from all the blood I’ve lost. I kept that sarcastic comment to myself.

  Hovering at my side, Davin took my good arm and steadied me. It was silly. Fifteen feet was all that stood between me and the couch, yet Davin acted like it was a twenty-mile hike. It didn’t help that my body betrayed me. The feel of his warm, large hands closing gently around my arm made me want to lean into him.

  It also didn’t help that I now seriously doubted my reaction when Jenna showed u
p at the reservation’s hospital. Yet she visited him at least twice over the weekend. Why would she do that if there’s no relationship?

  I stiffened and pulled my arm away.

  Davin’s nostrils flared, but he didn’t reach for me again.

  Once on the couch, I settled back as best I could. When Davin made a move to sit beside me, I placed my hand over the cushion to block him. “How about you sit on the chair?”

  Muttering under his breath, he stalked to the lone chair. But he didn’t sit. Instead, in another blurred move, he hauled the chair closer to me before plopping down.

  “Happy?” Frustration again filled his words.

  “Hardly.” I folded my hands in my lap since I couldn’t cross my arms. “I’m not sure how to feel right now.”

  He sighed heavily before gazing at the ceiling. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he was softly counting to ten.

  I froze when our gazes connected again.

  Those electric blue irises would be the death of me. When he looked at me as he was right now, I wanted to forget all about Jenna, the letters, and him agreeing to meet her.

  “What can I say that will reassure you that I never wanted Jenna?” His tone while frustrated was soft. “I’ve only wanted you since we met.”

  I frowned. “Then why was she at your house over the weekend?”

  His head cocked. “How did you know about that?”

  “Sara.”

  He grumbled under his breath. “Did she tell you anything other than Jenna stopped by?”

  “No.”

  “That’s probably because she doesn’t actually know anything about me and Jenna. She should mind her own damned business.”

  I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “She did try to tell me that I had it wrong. She told me she didn’t think you wanted Jenna.”

  He rested his elbows on his knees. “Yet you didn’t believe her.” His voice sounded hurt.

  An image of the letters, once again, filled my mind.

  “I can’t wait for us to meet again. And I agree, meeting in Rapid would definitely be nostalgic. If you’re ever free, that’s where we should meet.”

  Those words had haunted me for weeks. Scrunching my eyebrows together, I asked, “Why would you agree to meet with her, when you knew she wanted you, if you didn’t have feelings for her?”

  A muscle ticked in his jaw. “Because I was angry. Really angry. When I wrote those letters to her, I thought you had moved on and were with Mitch. Every day, I had visions of you with him. You in his bed. Him touching you. His hands everywhere.” His nostrils flared. “It drove me crazy.”

  Taking a deep breath, his gaze dropped to the floor. “I know it was stupid, to try and forget about you by talking to Jenna, but at the time, I honestly never thought I’d be free from Reservation 1. I thought she and I would be old-fashioned pen pals and nothing would ever come of it. And writing letters back and forth with her helped keep me from thinking of you with Mitch.”

  I arched an eyebrow. “That seems rather immature.”

  He snorted. “Tell me about it. My mom’s pretty upset with me. I thought my homecoming was going to be filled with fun and some relaxation. Instead, she’s been pestering me for the past five days about you and what the heck Jenna’s doing back in my life.”

  My mouth dropped. “Sharon? Pestering?”

  He smiled wryly. “I know. It’s not a trait I’ve seen in her before either, but she’s pretty unhappy. She saw how upset you were when you left the hospital.”

  I took a deep breath. The entire past week had been full of ups and downs. It was hard to believe a week ago I’d still been in the hospital, getting ready to be discharged.

  “So . . .” I said tentatively. “What’s going on with you and Jenna right now?”

  “Nothing. I swear. She stopped by a few times to try and convince me to give us another chance, but each time, I told her that I couldn’t.”

  So those were the two visits that Sara was talking about. “And where is she now?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know, but I imagine she’s either visiting her old friends in Rapid, the ones that made it through the First and Second Wave, or she’s on her way back to Texas.”

  Despite feeling a sense of relief at hearing that Davin wasn’t with Jenna, I couldn’t help a flare of irritation. “So you wrote letters back and forth with her for weeks, gave her the impression you were interested in her, and then when she drove across the country to surprise you—you sent her on her way? That’s hardly a nice way to treat someone.”

  He hung his head while flicking his fingers back and forth. The movement turned into a blur. “I know. Trust me—I’m not proud of myself. I’ve already told her a hundred times how sorry I am.”

  My brow furrowed. “But how did she know you’d be at the hospital if you’d never arranged to meet?”

  I tensed, waiting for his response. While I wanted to believe him, that guarded feeling remained. It had been uncanny how she’d shown up just as I was discharging.

  “The guards told her.”

  My eyebrows rose. “You mean . . . Reservation 1’s guards?”

  He nodded. “She said she drove to our home in Rapid first, thinking we’d be there, but when the neighbors told her we’d never arrived back from the reservation, she took a chance and drove to Mobridge. When she reached the gates, the guards told her about you and that I’d been at your side in the hospital.”

  I sank further back into the couch cushions. “So that’s how she ended up there.”

  “Yeah, that’s how.” His brow furrowed. “Did you really think I’d agreed to meet her at the same time you were being discharged with a gunshot wound? A shot that should have hit me?”

  The hurt in his words needled my heart. I shrugged helplessly. “I honestly didn’t know what to think. But when I saw that guilty look on your face after she arrived—I assumed the worst.”

  In another blurred move, he was off the chair and kneeling in front of me. My breath hitched. He’d moved so fast!

  Taking both of my hands in his, his cobalt gaze swam with so much emotion, I thought I’d drown in it.

  Squeezing my hands tighter, his words came out in a low whisper. “I love you, Meghan. I have for the past year, ever since you brought me that photo from my Mom. And the thought of what I’d done—talking to Jenna, giving her the impression I’d be with her, after you’d risked everything to save me—it felt like a punch to my gut. In that moment, it finally hit me how much that would hurt you. That’s why I felt guilty. That’s the reason I had whatever look you saw on my face. It wasn’t guilt because I wanted her and didn’t tell you.” He squeezed my hands more. “It was guilt because I felt like I betrayed you. And that’s something I never want to do.”

  My mouth parted as more tears filled my eyes. His hands felt so warm and solid around mine.

  He loves me? Did he really just say that he loves me?

  In the few times we’d hinted at our feelings for each other, neither of us had ever been so open or honest about how we felt. It had always been like each of us was too afraid to take that final step. Some barrier that seemed impossible to cross had always kept us from one another.

  But now, those barriers were gone.

  And Davin had just said he loved me.

  A smile pulled my lips up. “I love you too.”

  He grinned in return. “So you forgive me? For acting like an immature idiot with Jenna? I swear to you, Meghan, nothing happened with her. Just like nothing ever happened with you and Mitch.”

  His reminder about Mitch solidified that it wasn’t fair for me to hold this against him. When Davin and I had spoken for the first time, after I’d finally re-established my link with Sara while they’d been captive on Reservation 1, he’d listened to why I’d lied about saying I was dating Mitch. I’d done it to protect him. But it had been a lie. A betrayal in a way.

  Yet he’d readily forgiven me.

  And right now, he was trying to hel
p me see that he’d never betrayed me either. But more than that, he was asking me to forgive him too.

  I squeezed his hands back, my fingertips relishing his hard callouses. “You’re right. We’ve both made mistakes.” So many tears filled my eyes, they threatened to spill onto my cheeks. “And, of course, I forgive you. I should have listened to you sooner. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.”

  “We can talk more about that later, but right now, I need you to say that you’re with me. I need to know that you’re my girlfriend and that I finally have you.”