The Complete Makanza Series: Books 0-4

by Krista Street

  “Shall we go?” Davin picked up our bags as he held his hand out to me.

  I threaded my fingers through his. “I suppose so. The real world is waiting.”

  WE DIDN’T REACH Sioux Falls until the next afternoon. Neither of us turned our phones back on until we’d almost reached my apartment. When I finally did, my phone dinged to life, and I immediately wished I’d kept it off.

  It kept dinging as message after message rolled in.

  Davin raised his eyebrows when he swung into a parking spot outside of my apartment building. “You’ve turned into the popular girl.”

  I bit my lip. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

  Outside, even more snow covered the ground. It looked like we’d avoided a heavy snowfall in our absence.

  “Who are the messages from?” Davin asked as he cut the motor.

  I opened my voicemail. My eyes widened when I saw the list of names. Amy. Cate. Dr. Sadowsky. Sharon. My parents. A few more numbers I didn’t recognize.

  My hands began to shake. “Um . . . everybody. Crap. We should have left an emergency number with someone.”

  Davin’s hand closed over mine before I could listen to the first voicemail. “Let’s get inside first.”

  Amazingly, not one reporter waited outside the door to my building’s entrance. Not even the back door. I glanced around as I shouldered my purse. For the first time since being shot, the movement didn’t hurt. I’d also been able to cut down on my pain meds, and I didn’t need to wear my sling around the clock. I was definitely making progress.

  “Where do you suppose they went?” Worry laced my tone.

  Davin shrugged and opened the door. “Who knows. Let’s just be glad they’re not here anymore.”

  But as we climbed the stairs to my second-floor apartment, I couldn’t stop the sense of foreboding as the distance passed beneath us.

  When we finally entered my tiny home, I couldn’t take it anymore. I turned on the TV just as I tapped the first button on my voicemail.

  It was from Cate, or Dr. Hutchinson as the rest of the MRI called her. As the former Director of Compounds 10 and 11 in Washington, she’d recently pursued a new political position in D.C. However, she was still employed by the MRI.

  Her message was from yesterday, and her voice sounded shaky, not as confident as it usually did. “Meghan, call me. I’m sure you’ve seen the news by now, but don’t worry. We’ll handle it.”

  My eyes widened as ANN came to life on the TV. Even though I’d meant to listen to the next voicemail on the long list that filled my inbox, I couldn’t.

  My phone fell to the floor and landed with a soft thud when I saw the banner filling the bottom of the news screen. It scrolled along, its bright red color drawing attention.

  And it only said one thing over and over again.

  Zoe Mathison had Makanza. Zoe Mathison’s parents were seeking legal counsel. Chicago Children’s was scrambling as other children showed symptoms.

  Because Zoe Mathison was dead.

  9 – PANIC ATTACK

  I sank to my knees as Davin rushed to my side. “She’s dead, Davin. She’s really dead.”

  My hands shook as I stared at my phone. Its bright screen shone back at me from where it lay on the floor. The multiple apps waited patiently, as if beckoning me to tap them.

  But I didn’t know who to call. Who to turn to.

  “She’s dead.” My words felt hollow. Wooden. Like they’d come from someone else.

  Davin gripped my hands, his face ashen. His scent filtered through the pressure that seemed to be holding me down.

  Soap and aftershave swirled around me. His palms felt hot, like fire, but my hands had turned to ice as a surge of anxiety burst along my limbs. It felt like the room was closing in. That everything was narrowing into a tunnel in front of me.

  They’ll blame Makanza. They’ll say that’s why she died. And then they’ll take Davin. They’ll take Sara. They’ll take all of them and lock them up again even though they did nothing wrong. Even though that poor little girl couldn’t have died from the virus.

  Or could she have?

  My body jolted at the thought.

  “Meghan?”

  The voice sounded distant and foggy, like someone was trying to reach me from the dark side of the moon. I couldn’t concentrate. My breath felt too fast. Too shallow. Icy sweat lined my palms. Blackness filled my peripheral vision.

  “Meghan, it’s okay. Look at me.”

  Searing hot hands covered my cheeks and gently turned my head. A noise filled the room. It sounded like gasps, as if someone was drowning.

  That’s me. It’s me making those sounds.

  “Meghan, deep breaths. Do it with me. Inhale . . . one . . . two . . . three . . .”

  His voice took over. I closed my eyes. Davin.

  Somehow, I managed to follow his instructions. I slowed my breathing to match his. The sounds of his voice and cadence of his words calmed me like a quiet symphony.

  Breathe, Meghan. Just breathe.

  By the time the suffocating panic attack abated, I’d completely lost track of time. Opening my eyes, I was relieved the tunnel vision had disappeared. So had the feeling of being swallowed whole by an unforeseen force.

  Soft, yet scratchy carpet shifted underneath the tops of my bare feet. The subtle sounds of my apartment building filtered through my senses—the hum of the HVAC, a muffled voice of a neighbor as they passed by in the hallway.

  Davin’s scent came next. I was pressed against his chest, his intoxicating smell everywhere. It took a moment before I realized that Davin’s arms were around me. He held me in his lap. I was cradled against his chest as my legs rested limply on the floor.

  “Oh, wow . . .” I sat up straighter and hung my head. It had been weeks since my last panic attack. “That was a bad one.”

  He tilted my chin up. “Are you okay?”

  I tried to smile, but my cheeks reddened. “I thought I was over those.”

  “You have been for the most part.” His gaze darkened. “Except for any time you get sucked back into my world, when you worry the media will turn the public on us or the government will lock us up again. Those seem to be your only triggers.”

  Davin pushed a long strand of brown hair over my shoulder. “That’s why I tried so hard to keep you from me. The fears of my world are the only things that paralyze you.”

  My brow furrowed as I perched on his long, hard legs.

  He was right. I knew it. He knew it. For months, my worsening anxiety, poor sleep and diet, and shrinking weight had been a major contention in our relationship. It was why he’d kept me at arm’s length for almost the entirety of my knowing him. He’d been trying to protect me in the only way he could—by distancing me from the dangers of his world.

  “Are we going to argue about that again?” I said the words quietly but met his gaze and held it.

  His eyes softened as he pulled me closer to him. “No. Never again. We’re together from here on out, come what may, but I won’t lie. It’s hard for me to see you like that.”

  A scratching feeling entered the back of my mind. “Hold on. Sara’s trying to get in touch.”

  I opened my connection with the twin and told her I was fine. I just found out Zoe died. And I . . . uh, panicked.

  Sara’s worry pushed through our bond. I wondered if that’s what I felt from you. So you’re back in civilization then if you know?

  Yes. We got back less than an hour ago. I sat up straighter on Davin’s lap. Speaking of that, why didn’t you tell me when Zoe died? You’re the only person who could have contacted us.

  I sensed worry from her end, as if she were wringing her hands. I wanted to. Believe me, I did, but I also promised Davin I wouldn’t bother you guys.

  I shot Davin a surprised look.

  He merely raised his eyebrows, obviously oblivious to what Sara just revealed.

  I sighed. I wasn’t surprised Davin had asked Sara to not disturb us, but I was su
rprised that she actually listened to him. Turning my attention back to the twin, I asked, Was it hard to stay quiet?

  Sooooo hard. I’m so glad you’re back.

  Sara and I spoke for a few more minutes. I could tell she was as worried as me about what Zoe’s death meant for our country. After promising I’d be in touch soon, we shut down our connection.

  Davin’s hands roamed up and down my back, soothing away the remaining residue of panic that had wrapped its suffocating tentacles around me. “How is she?”

  “As worried as me.” I leaned against him. “I can’t believe Zoe’s really dead. And you know this won’t end quietly. Someone will pay for her exposure. We both know that. And most likely, the public and government will blame you and every other Kazzie.”

  His hands stilled for the briefest second before resuming. Taking a deep breath, his voice caught. “I know.”

  I shook my head. “But it can’t be Makanza that killed her. It just . . . can’t be!”

  I couldn’t bear the thought of that idea. That the research my colleagues and I had conducted wasn’t sound. That we were to blame for Zoe Mathison’s death. Because even though the Kazzies had been the scapegoats for so many perils in this country, they weren’t to blame for Zoe’s death if it truly was related to the virus.

  I was to blame.

  The MRI was.

  The government was.

  All of us had convinced the public to release the Kazzies, telling the American people that they were safe to live among us.

  I pushed up from Davin and began pacing my living room. Surprisingly, my shoulder and wound didn’t ache despite the quick movements.

  “Obviously, people are fearful that Makanza killed Zoe, but I know that’s not the case. I’m 100% certain the vaccine is as effective as we say it is. Something else killed that poor girl. Now, we need to figure out what.”

  Davin still sat on the floor. He drew his knees up and clasped his arms casually around them. Strong, sinewy muscles rippled in his forearms.

  I averted my gaze. The sight was incredibly distracting.

  “And how do you propose to do that?” he asked.

  “We’ll need an autopsy at the very minimum. I’m assuming the MRI has already dispatched a team to Chicago Children’s. Most likely, they’ve been there this entire time.” I groaned. “Of course, since I’ve been banned from work due to my injury, I wouldn’t know.”

  I paused. The swishing movements that my feet had made on the carpet stopped with me. Quiet surrounded us. Biting my lip, a plan started to form in my mind.

  “Meghan . . .” Davin’s tone was low and warning. “I’ve seen that look before, and I’m not sure I like it. What are you up to?”

  I sank onto the floor beside him and placed a hand on his arm. Rock hard muscles flexed beneath my grasp.

  “I know you’re not going to like this, neither is Dr. Sadowsky for that matter, but I have to return to work. I’ve healed substantially in the past week, thanks to you, but now . . .” I shook my head. “With Zoe dying, I can’t sit at home. Even though I love being with you, I have to help find a cure and figure out what killed that poor girl.”

  “Dammit, Meghan,” he said quietly. “You’re still hurt. You can’t work right now. How can you not see that?”

  “Davin. Please.” My tone was quiet and pleading. “Please don’t fight with me on this.”

  Anguish contorted his features. “How can I not? I love you, and you’re hurt. Really hurt, Meg. It’s not like a scratch that will heal in a few days. You shattered a rib. That’s a serious injury. And even worse, the reason you’re hurt is because of me. And now, you want to return to the Compound and start working every day of the week even though you’re still not fully functioning.”

  He shook his head when he saw my expression. “No, don’t give me that look. You know as well as I do what your schedule will be like if you want to find a cure. And you’re asking me to say it’s okay, but I can’t. It’s not okay.”

  My gaze dropped to the floor. I nodded and bit my lip tightly. “It’s fine. You’re angry. I get it. I probably would be too in your shoes, but I can’t sit at home. I just can’t.”

  Warm, large hands covered mine. “You don’t have to sit at home forever. Just wait another month and then go back to work.” He brushed a strand of hair off my cheek. “Please, babe. Don’t put me in this position. I want to support you, but watching you kill yourself . . .” He shook his head and sighed harshly. “It kills me to see it.”

  “I get it. It’s okay.” Pushing awkwardly to a stand, I turned so he wouldn’t see the pain that threatened to overwhelm me. “I’m still returning to work, but if you want to go back to Rapid City so you don’t have to watch, I understand.”

  Inside, it felt like my heart was ripping to pieces. More than anything, I wanted Davin at my side, but I wasn’t going to beg him. Especially if it would lead to more fights and arguments between us.

  In a lightning-fast move, Davin was standing and blocking my path. My breath caught at the abrupt movement.

  Tilting my chin upward, he cursed under his breath when he saw the fresh tears brimming my eyes. In a deft movement, he locked his arms around me.

  My throat tightened. I wanted to sink into and lean on him, but I didn’t. I hated that we were arguing right now, but I wasn’t going to back down.

  I needed to join Division 5.

  It was the only way if I wanted a cure.

  Davin’s chest rose and fell heavily with each breath, but he didn’t let go. It felt as if he was warring with something inside himself from the tense way he stood.

  Finally, he said gruffly, “I’m not leaving you. I can only imagine the state you’d be in if you try to do this alone.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. His words should have caused me to jump for joy, but I heard the anger in them, the quiet resentment.

  That wasn’t something I could handle right now. Having Davin at my side could be heaven or hell. And if it was hell, I didn’t think I’d be able to bear it.

  Fighting back more tears, I said quietly, “But I don’t want to fight you, Davin. Not about this. If I join Division 5, I’ll probably be working non-stop. I won’t have the energy to fight you.”

  My breath felt shallow as I waited for his response.

  At least twenty seconds ticked by.

  “So I’m either with you or against you. Is that it?”

  My head snapped up at the teasing tone in his voice. Relief flooded me when I saw the small smile tugging his lips up.

  Laughing quietly, I shrugged. “Kind of. I want you by my side so bad it hurts but not if we’re going to fight every day. I don’t want us to turn into that.”

  He tenderly brushed a lock of hair from my face. “You’re doing this one way or another, aren’t you? It doesn’t matter what I say. I can’t talk you out of it.”

  “Yes. I’m going back to work.”

  Crushing me against him, his arms tightened even more. “Okay, then I’m coming with you. I couldn’t bear to be apart from you, not again, but I won’t lie. It’s not going to be easy watching you work yourself to death, but I’d rather be by your side. At least then, I can take care of you. If the last year is any predictor of what’s to come, I know you’re not going to put yourself first.”

  My heart sped up at the thought of him staying. “Do you promise you’re not going to fight with me about this anymore?”

  His hands tightened around my waist for the merest second before he took a deep breath. “I can’t promise, but I’ll try.”

  AFTER DAVIN LEFT to retrieve our bags from the car and unpack, I picked up my phone and dialed Cate. Her voice had sounded so shaky in her message. So unlike her.

  She answered on the first ring. “Meghan? Is that really you?”

  “Yes, sorry. I just got your message.”

  Cate sighed heavily. “No, that’s all right. I’m glad to hear from you. You’re usually so prompt at replying.”

  G
uilt crept up my neck at her worried tone. “I’m sorry. I was away for the week and turned my phone off.”

  Silence followed. When Cate finally spoke, surprise lined her words. “Your phone was off the entire time?”

  “Yes. Dr. Sadowsky insisted I take some time off.”

  “How are you feeling? And more importantly, how are you healing?”

  “I’m fine.” I didn’t mention my panic attack. Instead, I concentrated on the week Davin and I had away. “The . . . uh . . . last week has been pretty relaxing. I’m feeling a hundred times better.”

  Cate sighed in relief. “Good, because we’re going to need you regardless of the restrictions Dr. Sadowsky placed on you. In fact, that may work to our advantage since you’re not needed at Compound 26 right now. I’m sure you’ve heard of Zoe Mathison’s death? Senator Douglas, that bastard, is using that family’s tragedy to terrify the public. It’s creating a public relations nightmare.”

  My stomach plummeted. “Does anyone know what caused her death?” I held my breath. It was silly. I knew it wasn’t Makanza, yet worry still plagued me. Perhaps something had gone drastically wrong with the vaccine she’d been administered. All vaccine batches had been triple checked, yet the possibility of an error was still possible. As unlikely as that was.

  In which case, more people will present with symptoms and die.

  I shook that thought off before it could run away with me. Those safety measures had been put in place during the vaccine’s creation for the sole purpose of avoiding something just like Zoe’s death.

  Tapping came from Cate’s end, as if she were drumming her fingers on her desk. “As of now, it’s still unclear why Zoe died. It doesn’t help that the family is forbidding an autopsy.”

  “What? Why?”

  “I know. It’s crazy, but they’re insistent we leave the body alone. They don’t want her body cut into.”

  As much as my heart hurt for Zoe’s family, I couldn’t stop my next question. “But how can that be allowed when public safety is in question?”

  “It can’t. That’s exactly why I’ve been called to look into it. Someone at Chicago Children’s isn’t doing their job despite the MRI’s involvement, so I’m leaving for Chicago within the hour.”