LOST HIGHWAY

by Zac Funstein

  “I did try to be of some minor input to Vanhala it is without a doubt. I seem to know a lot about this without really knowing why. It was just one of these things.”

  “We have found dieting-aid detritus on some denim that was left at a terrible scene, but we are unsure just how many of these have been combined. It might give some insight into the personality of who was responsible.”

  “This sounds a little like Antovíz Kott.”

  Antovíz was a Dutch serial assassin who when not imbibing narcotics was obsessed about his weight. When the hooker Icelandic Reija Penttilä was found dead on the streets of Reykjavik it had been the combination of Chromium, chitosan plus Xenical that had been his unique downfall. Child proof containers with these in this quantity had been found which were an unmistakable indicator. It took a while for it to dawn what was meant by Kott, but this was academic anyway because Veronika had removed her Iphone then flicked through the pages to an app.

  “I'm having a ball just fiddling around discovering how it works-which is basically how I've learnt everything I know plus most other things.”

  “It’s not time wasting if it finds who was responsible for the Prince Rupert attack.”

  “True I find myself hesitating because concentrating on a single procedural issue, rather than on developing the fundamental aims is again-to use the same tired analogy- like fooling around whilst Rome burns.”

  “It just keeps returning to that for you-maybe the Ketone is your path!”

  “That’s what I said-anyway according to my app here on my itty-bitty smartphone-this is not Ketone A which is the one I deal with.”

  “There are different sorts-you learn something every day-I was under the misapprehension there was just the solitary kind.”

  “Ketone A is deemed the better because it is artificially made for extra potency, but there are extracts B plus a C which is the worst. This is one of those I would stake my career on it. Extract B is dealt with by Stanislav Hadač, C by Ella Lämsä. Knocking them together gently, make-believing that they are real entities, locked in combat, a classic battle of good versus bad will not help much I believe they get on though there is a certain rivalry. Before you ask I’m sure they will help-it was their input which convicted Antoviz. We were part of what one eminent professor of Ketone in the exalted institution we had attended had referred to sneeringly as the ‘crowd’.

  The media fixation on all things negative was so ubiquitous now - any attempt at ‘cosiness’ or ‘optimism’ dismissed so sneeringly by the chattering classes/ordinary Joes alike - that it was hard to picture anyone getting on- but gel it seemed they did.

  “Ask Stanislav or Ella which it is I’m sure they’ll help.”

  Riders overtake traffic, carving in/ out of lanes as befuddled drivers join in confusion with pedestrians. As the taxi-driver attempts to deliver Guilherme to Stanislav Hadač Melo seems to draw a comparison with ‘The Trial’ by Franz Kafka which provided a dizzying glimpse at the senseless complexity of an administration that seems to exist primarily to befuddle as well as punish its constituents. There was something mildly sinister about here like this was somewhere children should not trick or treat, but stick to the well-known streets not wander into unknown neighbourhoods. This kind of perfunctory but nuanced characterization runs throughout the travelogue, which is blessed with a seemingly never-ending parade of memorable bit players who each get their chance to chew some scenery then spit it out again. Ignoring the renaissance-style entertainment being performed during a free event his quarry is made for.

  Stanislav is a difficult person to encapsulate. Guilherme asks himself where someone of Stanislav’s bristly attitude had been seen before. It dawns it is the TV series Jaakko Penttilä which in later series changes to Panu Lenkkeri. Jaakko’s or further on Panu’s interest in his own dandyism marked him as a daring individualist daring enough to step out of the machismo groove. Shall we wander through these mens closets? Dressing gowns predominate mostly silk or nylon but with velvet coming up the ranks. Hadač is dressed like Lenkkeri in the episode ‘We Die You Die’-that is a paisley smoking jacket over a tartan cravat. Veronika saw him as a socially awkward man-child with an outrageous sense of humor plus an almost manic-depressive personality.

  His daughter- little Aira- was getting ready to go to school for the new term soberly clad as ever; despite her fathers dandyism even when there were festivities Aira wore nothing better than a new gingham, made too large, to allow for shrinkage, plus new-ribbons it was said. Suitably despatched they watched the child with satchel make her path to the gate. There is the sound of a rusty hinge then Aira is gone.

  “Perhaps if the hassles occurred at the beginning of wedlock instead of the end, people might enter into it more soberly, that is, with more caution understanding that it is a binding agreement not unlike that of a legal partnership.”

  “You have split up with the childs mother?”

  “Added a new dimension to split up would be a better definition. Aira has her troubles, like everyone else, but comes across as a high-spirited/ well-balanced individual. My daughter is a warm, person with a host of friends despite both her parents arguing- but that is not why you are here-the Ketone B I believe is your concern.”

  “Its synthesis particularly but generally I know B better than most.”

  “I am the great grandson of a Ukrainian noncommissioned officer the stalwarts of the Soviet army. Though in the prime of life, this bastion still had the joyful high spirits of a young man, which was kept, I believe, into extreme old age. If we are set a seemingly impossible puzzle then we do the utmost to solve it-to the better of our abilities just like in the Ukraine.”

  Although it was not mentioned Gallipoli a tragedy, where the buoyancy, high spirits plus the beauty of youth were inevitably crushed by the forces of history provided yet another of the Stanislav clan.

  “Did you not get the attachment I sent you regarding BC?”

  “When I saw the email I was struck by the address. There was a company there that later expanded into various other chemical fields, mainly polymer dispersion/ process chemicals that tried to make synthetic Ketone B. A seems to be fairly easy but B that’s another matter.”

  “It’s difficult to synthesize-I won’t ask why probably something fiendishly difficult.”

  “I was there at the trials participants had tried a wide range of other drugs including cocaine, amphetamines, ecstasy, inhalants and hallucinogenics to see if they could stimulate the artificial Ketone B but nothing seemed to work. Several US states have approved use either as an inhalant or an injection when powdered but the influence is minimal in my view.”

  That this inhalant, which is used as a smelling salt, was capable of causing caustic burns due to the high content of ammonia was not mentioned either. Lubricating greases usually petroleum oils thickened with silicon-based dispersions had been tried too with this as an ingredient but with little success. They’d tried everything if they were honest but nothing worked

  “Is the Ketone B there?”

  “Yes but in such a small amount it is totally negligible. My guess is what is being used is a dieting time bomb: several dieting meds all rolled into one. If one doesn’t work then the others click in-you can’t lose. Try to find as many of the ingredients as you can-it may well be that we can recognise at least the mix from what’s gone in-they have names like ‘Smoldering Badge’ or ‘Diamond Robe’. I'm not a great one for e-mail campaigns or joining in protests, probably mostly because I'm just not a ‘joining’ sort of person, but I found that the horrific story of the Wayne Gretzky just demanded action.There is a Wayne Gretzky — a hockey great who became known as ‘the Great One’ but this is a med-concoction of similar title. If you’re going to ask why Wayne got stuck with this I don’t know.There probably is but it is now gone for good for better or for worse.”

  This clearly wasn’t like a new narcotic where after a testing session most people are relaxed/mellow but in complete command of al
l of their faculties - able to perform any task or duty such as driving or working but something with a terrible side-effect not wise to get into. The only criteria in this instance was being able to lose as much ugly weight as possible-but it went terribly wrong.

  “What is your opinion of Ella Lämsä?”

  “The Ketone C doyen. I respect Ella a lot. Her daughter Tereza is like Aira interested in dancing, performing on the stage. It’s hard not to like someone when you share the same interest.”

  “I didn’t want to trivialize anything you obviously hold each other in great respect. I guess you must be on the same wavelength.”

  Tereza was the one that answered the incessant bell when Melo arrived. The similarity with Aira was slight that could not be denied-her clothing was more modern however.

  “Mom there’s a gentleman to see you.”

  A woman appears wearing a snap house-coat. The housecoat appears worn- the material was very soft with puff sleeves.

  “Excuse my staring but you appeared just like my ex Fabrizio Conti just now. An Italian in his dotage-confined to a wheelchair when older. To the Canadian Revenue a radiologist-in reality a real estate agent.”

  “I know him vaguely-his property understanding was great.”

  A vacuum-cleaning robot one in the growing array of expensive machines designed to take the drudgery out of housework pushes past-stops without warning then it is off on its programmed path again.

  “Don’t say.You are Mr. Melo, Hadač did warn us you were coming, perhaps that is a little unkind for I sense that you are sincere in aim, that your interest in Ketone is genuine.”

  “The C type is your bag I am given to understand-it is that which most concerns us.”

  “C/A if you want to be pedantic about everything. Don’t appear guilty-this is only a recent change. I don’t suppose that even Hadač quite understands just yet. There has always been some doubt so that now we have decided to divide the category into a blurry pair.”

  “There is someone else involved in this Ketone split?”

  “Zomica Stanković does B. We’ve both had the growing conviction that there was too much just to have one person devoting their talent to it. There was little question about the fulsomeness of his courage, his patriotism, his heroism, his leadership, putting this first beyond more personal concerns. Improvements allow us to observe textural differences, such as the distinction between wool gabardine/cotton shirting, without the substances becoming unduly associative.”

  ”If we can make artificial C then liposuction could become something of the past-the need for dieting an anachronism.”

  The potential was great no one could deny that-this could change the entire industry. Today, more than ever, as society resembles a plutocracy, governed by a clutch of enormously powerful individuals they must surely be interested in such.

  “We are now using teleconference /satellite teleconference facilities once used to teach chemo-terrorism preparedness to large numbers of dieting physicians, nurses, plus other healthcare professionals as a road for making Ketone C a familiar name.”

  “There’s no dread of giving trade-secrets away or anything like that on yours or Stankovićs part?”

  “When you go I’ll give you his address-you can ask him yourself. We got the inspiration from staying at the impressive spatial grandeur of the Grand Delhi in Bengal. One almost expected Roger Vadim to direct Brigitte Bardot in ‘And God Created Woman’ or something glamorous like that. All of the hotel's function rooms have inter-linking built-in audio systems, projection equipment, ISDN teleconferencing plus more.”

  That during their stay the high-born guests of the Grand Delhi were aroused by a rumour that by some accident the proprietor of the anarchist hotel had remained all night locked up in the elevator wasn’t mentioned, neither was the fact that Rocco often quarrelled with his staff. Like the often empty building populated only by the expressionless employees within all seemed devoid of meaning.

  The pricking of pomposity/ceremony reflects one of Ella’s enjoyable, endearing traits a quality sadly missing in general lab- politics Stanislav said who seemed to hold her in high esteem.

  “If you want to get into Stanković’s good books then brush up on your astronomy- Zomica has just had his telescope bolted to a vast concrete plinth around which his observatory dome can rotate without touching it, or subject the instruments to tremors. Don't be fooled by the tiny rustic check in building that is like a construction office either Melo.”

  Guilherme could never hear mention of an observatory of any kind without re-experiencing his trip to the Empire State Building with his friend Jessica. Young, stylish Jessica wore the simple garb of the Presbyterians had not yet perhaps quite neglected the ‘modish’ ways of her teenage daughter for about her had knotted a pale scarf which fluttered even at high altitude. Everyone had said be be prepared for very boring lines in waiting but nothing had prepared them for this. Arriving there around early they were queuing for ages-only Jessica’s patience stopped them from going to their hotel again. An experienced visitor had recommend bringing something to stay warm for it was extremely drafty up there-bring a sweater or a jacket, so you don't have to end up leaving because you're freezing. Indeed although it was warm on the street, the man at the door was wearing a coat. Being scanned then made to turn in a wire tripod that was in some remote pocket of his camera bag to be kept by security was annoying. Not only was it extremely annoying, but Melo was not sure of the purpose of the confiscation sensing himself victimized. There was not much you can do with a tripod that is so short when the observation deck is all fenced in anyway-it seemed personally directed against him as well as being tinged with meanness into the bargain.The temptation to argue was resisted however. So as much as Melo wanted to grab the security by their modish lapels shake them demand to know exactly what the hell they were on about, it was not his privilege to do so, for they were not there except by invitation, they were not a member of their community, had no imperative to expect that their orders should mean anything to them other than just as that-orders.

  The line seemed to crawl in proportion to how they were dying to go up even without the tripod. They quipped that it was to make them lighter-with it they would have sunk or something. Jessica had been to the Chrysler Building, but hadn’t been to anything quite like this - the closest had been the massive Burj Khalifa, tower in Dubai-there it was hot not just at base camp but below above everywhere. They had this tennis court on top but they kept getting freak winds so players got blown off. Patience was not easy to come by, but they were given no other choice but to exercise such or turn around then give up.

  They passed the time by talking of the most random things possible mostly Jessicas recent hernia operation, they finally made it up-but had to push through crowds to get some sort of a view from the top, wow-worth the effort despite leaving the tripod! It was extremely high when you looked down... but a lovely. Melo had no idea NYC was so big until seeing it from the top- it went on for ever seemingly. Guilherme suddenly got a glimpse of satori why people laughed at him when it was said one would walk NYC - it was impossible. Glancing down, they saw tons of taxi cabs but not as many as expected, that was pretty iconic too, since we believe they saturate the landscape. You have views from everywhere you look - once you get past all the throngs of people in your way and can get a look, that is.

  Zomica Stanković when met came across a little like a disaffected priest from Victorian Italy. In the Neapolitan/ Sicilian provinces, parishes were scattered, bishoprics impecunious priests insubordinate: more than half the ecclesiastics convicted of felonies. A strong wind brought a knocking gently on the metallic dome. Rozario lightly touched a button on the computer console- the dome shutters slid noisily open. The observatory was revealed so the sky was visible.Even the most puritanical, old-style theorist, or the most modishly self-conscious, context-seeking astronomer will be hugely entertained, as well as enlightened by such a grown-up toy. There are experiences tha
t most of us are hesitant to mention, because they do not conform to everyday reality so defy rational explanation. These are not particular external occurrences, but rather events of our inner lives, which are generally dismissed. Suddenly, the familiar view of our surroundings is transformed in a strange, delightful, or alarming way: it appears to us as new, takes on a special meaning. Such an experience can be as light/ fleeting as a breath of air, or it can imprint itself deeply.

  How fine Zomica had looked, in a corduroy jacket/ tanned gabardine pants, how at ease in the ambience.

  “Often what is interesting is much higher in the sky, so sweeping these areas with the binoculars allowed much to be observed far better but there you go-you have to see the funny-side sometimes.”

  How the gabardine must have clung to Stanković like the mustiness of an ancestral tomb.

  “One enchantment of that kind, which I experienced in childhood, has remained remarkably vivid in us ever since. It happened on a school trip — the year was immaterial — but I can still point online to the exact co-ord where it occurred, although the observatory itself is now demolished.

  A pair of Glaswegians stood outside the main entrance of the observatory lodge staring at the great chronometer which had been there since before the Great War.

  ‘Tavis,’ said one to the other, ‘d’ye ken ye are at all?’ Tavis admitted his geographical ignorance. ‘Ye are at te vara ceentre of the known unnaverse (sic). Ye wuld not falt it.’

  As I strolled in I was hit by the mildness (advantageous to incorporate a ‘warm room’ into the observatory structure to keep the computer warmer than ambient air in cool seasons). All at once everything appeared uncommonly clear. Was this something I had simply failed to notice before? Was I suddenly discovering the observatory as it actually was? It hummed with the most beautiful machine-drone, speaking to the depths, as though it wanted to encompass everything in its buzzing majesty. I was filled with an indescribable sensation of happiness, oneness, with blissful security-although ostensibly this was a scientific establishment. I have no notion how I stood there spellbound without anyone noticing-until eventually another siteseer did eventually ask ‘Do you need a doctor young man?’ ‘No I’m just gripped by this majesty I replied’. The anxious concern I felt as the bliss slowly dissolved as I hiked on was intense: how could a vision that was so real/convincing, so directly and deeply experienced— how could it end so soon moreover why did it happen here somewhere so staid? And how could I tell anyone about it, as my overflowing bliss compelled us to do, since I knew there were no words to describe what I had heard?”