Evidence of Desire

by Pamela Yaye

  “Your sister told me about her meltdown, Alice. I’m glad you were there for her. I know you girls haven’t always gotten along, but now that you’re older, I’m hoping you’ll support and encourage each other more.”

  “Me, too, Mom.”

  Azure heard her father’s voice in the background, and a muffled sound on the line.

  “I wish we could talk some more, but I have to go get cleaned up. I’m dragging your father to the symphony tonight, and I have a Vanessa Hamilton gown to squeeze into!”

  Azure laughed for the first time all day. Standing up for herself, finally after all these years, was liberating, inspiring. And if she could tell her mom the truth, she could do anything—including work things out with Harper.

  Shooting across the room, Azure grabbed her leather suitcase and heaved it onto the bed. She was going to take a shower, put on that black, belted suit that Harper loved so much—the one she was wearing the day she interviewed him at his family’s Integrity estate—and head over to Hamilton, Hamilton and Clark. And this time, Azure was going to make Harper listen to her. No matter what.

  * * *

  Four hours later, Azure’s body was chilled to the bone, and not just because she was sitting outside Harper’s house in her small, two-door car. Cranking up the heat, she rubbed her ice-cold hands together. Azure wanted to go inside Harper’s

  house and relax by the fire while she waited for him to return home from work, but he was still mad at her and she didn’t want to make things worse between them.

  I never imagined I’d one day be on a stakeout, Azure thought, cleaning the steamy windows with her hands and peering down the street for any signs of Harper’s sleek black Lexus. With every passing second, Azure grew more anxious, more nervous.

  Her mind slipped back to that afternoon, to the moment she stood outside the municipal courthouse waiting for Harper. After calling his office and learning from his secretary that he was in court, she’d headed right over. Dressed up, her hair styled just the way Harper liked, she’d been confident that he’d be willing to finally speak to her. And when Azure saw Harper stride out of the courthouse in a killer black suit, with Griffin Jackson at his side, her heart had skipped three beats. He’d looked right at her. Straight into her eyes. But instead of waving or acknowledging her presence with a smile, he’d continued right past her. As if she weren’t there. Azure had been so shocked, so positively stunned, she didn’t know what to do. And by the time she came to her senses, Harper had crossed the street and climbed into Griffin’s silver truck.

  On the drive back to the motel, she’d replayed the scene in her mind a dozen times. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe Harper didn’t see her. It was possible, right? But deep down, she knew. Knew that he’d blown her off.

  Azure saw the kitchen light come on in Harper’s house, and she threw open her car door. Gripping her jacket collar, she flew up the steps and jabbed the doorbell. The breeze whipped her hair around her face, and colorful, autumn leaves danced in the air. The door creaked open, and seeing Harper, standing in the foyer, casually dressed in workout clothes, made Azure’s heart murmur in her chest. “Harper, open up, it’s me!”

  “What do you want?”

  Azure tried the screen door, but it was locked. “Can I come in?”

  “No. I’ve had a long day, and I’m about to go to bed.”

  “I came by the courthouse today.”

  Harper stood as stiff as a Roman statue.

  “Baby, it’s been three days.” Azure heard the desperation in her voice and paused to get her emotions under control. “We need to sit down and discuss this. Let’s get everything out in the open, so we can move on.”

  “I don’t want to talk to you.”

  “But I haven’t done anything wrong! Why don’t you believe me?”

  Looking stone-faced, not moving a muscle, he spoke in an eerily calm voice. “What you’ve done is unforgivable, and every time I think about you plotting with your boss to ruin my father, I feel like punching a hole in the wall.”

  Azure’s mouth felt frozen stiff. She wanted to argue, to demand Harper open the door so they could talk inside, but she couldn’t get her lips to form the words. Any hope she had of them working things out evaporated when Harper closed the door. Then to her dismay and disbelief, he turned off the porch light.

  Left alone, in the darkness, Azure faced the bitter truth. In that moment, she knew. Knew that Harper had never loved her. Just because they had amazing chemistry, shared heartfelt talks into the wee hours of the morning and made love passionately before drifting off to sleep every night didn’t mean they were destined to be together. They weren’t. And his cold, callous behavior proved just that. What made me think that Harper ever loved me? Azure thought sadly, blinking back tears. He was only doing what lawyers did best: act.

  Later, she’d have no recollection of returning to her car or the thirty-minute drive back to the motel, but what Azure did remember was Harper’s harsh words and tone, and how he’d slammed his front door in her face. That image replaced all her cherished memories of Harper—the first magical kiss they had shared as husband and wife, the morning they had made love on his living room couch, the last time he’d cradled her tenderly in his arms.

  Lying flat on her stomach on the motel bed, writing in her journal, Azure decided it was time to take action. Drastic action. That was the only way she was ever going to get over Harper. If that’s even possible, she thought sadly. How could she ever get used to living without Harper? The man who was her soul mate, her one true love?

  Leaving Philly is the answer, she told herself, ignoring the doubts that rose in her mind. It wasn’t as though her boss, or anyone else at Eminence magazine, would miss her. Azure had never liked working for Leland, anyway, and couldn’t believe the lengths she’d gone to to impress him. She would never take the Hamilton family scandal public, and had no intention of giving her boss the inside scoop, either. These days, Azure could hardly stand to be around him, and if she heard Leland say “Enough with the fluff pieces! Bring me the dirt!” at another staff meeting, she was going to quit on the spot.

  The thought of leaving Philadelphia, her hometown and a city she loved so much, caused sadness to fill the depths of her soul. But she had to go, had to put the past behind her. She’d start over in Florida, or somewhere close to her parents, and Harper would move on to someone else. Guys like him always did. He had no shortage of female admirers, and with his looks, success and pedigree, it would only be a matter of time before she saw pictures of him and beautiful debutantes splashed across the society pages.

  Azure thought back over their brief, three-week marriage and marveled at how much he’d come to mean to her. Though it was fabulous, she wasn’t going to miss Harper’s house, driving around town in his cushy car or all the perks that came with being Mrs. Harper Hamilton. She was going to miss the little things. Eating breakfast together, snuggling on the couch watching The Game on Tuesday nights and the way Harper reached for her in the middle of the night.

  Staring down at her wedding ring, she twisted the gigantic, diamond-speckled rock around her fourth finger. Azure knew she would have to give it back to Harper, sooner, rather than later, but she couldn’t bring herself to take it off. She loved her ring, and everything it had once stood for.

  Closing her eyes, she dropped her head on her pillow. It was wet with tears, but the more Azure tried to control her emotions, the harder she cried.

  Chapter 21

  Eminence magazine was housed in a five-story building, only blocks away from Rittenhouse Square, and when Harper stepped off the elevator and into the sun-splashed lobby, he stopped to make sure he was in the right place. The exterior of the building was plain but plush furniture, low-hanging Venetian lights and leafy plants gave the office a chic, metropolitan feel. The petite receptionist, with the big hair and plump
lips, greeted him with a toothy smile.

  “Good morning, Mr. Hamilton,” she said, lowering the mouthpiece on her headset. “I’ll let Azure know that you’re here—”

  “I’m not here to see…” Harper trailed off, paused to swallow the hard lump in his throat. He couldn’t bring himself to say her name. Not after her bitter betrayal. For the past week, he’d moped around the house, analyzing everything Azure had said or done over the past month. He couldn’t help it, couldn’t stop himself. He had to figure out how he could have picked the wrong woman, not once, but twice. This time, though, the pain was ten times worse. Everywhere he went reminded him of Azure, and he couldn’t close his eyes without seeing her face.

  “I’m here to see Mr. Watson,” he explained, reuniting with his voice. “Can you point me in the direction of his office?”

  “It’s straight down the hall to your left. He has the great big corner office with the picture of Pam Grier in the window!”

  Smiling his thanks, Harper nodded and strode down the narrow corridor. He unzipped his jacket and loosened the knot in his black, lightweight scarf. The Burberry scarf Azure had bought him weeks earlier. The one that held the faint scent of her perfume.

  Harper gave his head a shake. He had to stay focused. Had to prepare to confront the man plotting to ruin his father. No more thoughts of Azure. Not now, not ever.

  “Harper!”

  At the sound of Azure’s voice, his heart stopped. She was walking down the other end of the hall, practically running toward him now, her loose, bouncy curls tumbling around her pretty face. His mind told him to do one thing, but his body did another. Instead of blowing past her and into Leland’s corner office, Harper stopped right in front of Azure. Close enough to smell her perfume, to touch her, to steal a kiss from her moist, pink lips.

  Scared his desires would overtake him, he raised his gaze from her mouth to her eyes. Big mistake. Her eyes were big and wide, filled with excitement, and she was smiling brighter than she had been at their wedding ceremony. If that was at all possible. She’d been a vision that day, the most beautiful sight his eyes had ever seen.

  “Harper, you came! Baby, I’m so glad to see you!”

  “I came to see Leland,” he said, trying not to notice how gorgeous she looked in her kimono-style dress and leather boots. “You didn’t think I was going to sit back and let you and your evil boss destroy my father, did you?”

  The smile slid off her lips, and tears filled her eyes.

  Harper started to touch her, to take her into his arms, then remembered she was the enemy and stuffed his hands into his jacket pocket. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have important business to attend to. Bye, Alice. Have a nice life.”

  At the end of the hall, he entered Leland’s office, marched straight over to his desk and demanded a moment of his time. “You and I need to have a word.”

  Coffee splashed over the side of Leland’s oversize black mug and drenched the papers scattered around his desk. “You scared me half to death,” he grumbled, cleaning the mess with a mound of tissue. “What’s got you all wound up? Trouble in paradise already?”

  “If you publish that slanderous, unauthorized story in your magazine, I will sue you and this company for everything it’s worth. Understand?”

  Leland wore a sad face, but a grin was tickling the corners of his thin, chapped lips. “It’s too late, Harper. The November issue has already been put to bed.”

  Harper clenched his fists. He was going to blow, to erupt like the volcano that destroyed the village of Pam Pau. Only his fury was directed at one person, and one person only—Leland “The Snake” Watson. “This is not an idle threat, Leland. I will sue you, and win. Know that.”

  “There’s nothing I can do. My hands are tied.”

  Harper gestured to Leland’s desk phone. “Call the printers and order them to stop.”

  “I don’t have that kind of authority. Your wedding photos are going to be in next month’s issue, and there’s nothing you or anyone else can do about it.”

  “My wedding photos?”

  “Yeah, your wedding photos,” he repeated, cocking a brow, “so refrain from dumping Azure until after the November issue hits the stands.”

  Harper didn’t know what to say. Couldn’t speak even if he wanted to. His tongue lay limp in his mouth, and it felt as if his lips were glued together.

  “You know, I had a lot of hope for you two,” Leland announced, leaning back in his leather swivel chair and steepling his thin hands. “I thought you and Azure would be married for at least seventy-two days!”

  Harper hung his head. The truth shamed and silenced him. He’d never felt so low, never felt like such a complete idiot. Azure hadn’t betrayed his trust; she’d been telling the truth all along. And what had he done? Tossed her out on the street, blew by her outside the municipal court building and slammed his front door in her face.

  Disappointed in himself, for allowing his past hurts to affect his relationship with Azure, he expelled a breath of frustration. How could he have let something like this happen? How could he have hurt Azure? The only women he’d ever loved. He owed her an apology, and more, and if she ever found it in her heart to forgive him, he’d make it up to her. Spare no expense. Prove to her every day for the rest of his life that he valued and cherished her.

  Rubbing his hands over his face, he closed his eyes and prayed for divine intervention. Because it was going to take a miracle for Azure to forgive him. On the walk over to her office, Harper rehearsed what he was going to say. But the more he tried to plan his speech, the more he struggled. This wasn’t one of his legal cases. He couldn’t plot, couldn’t map out what he was going to say or do. He had to speak from his heart, had to confess his deepest feelings, and if that didn’t work, he’d beg like a felon before the parole board.

  Prepared for the fight of his life, he knocked on Azure’s door. She was sitting behind her desk, staring at her computer screen, and when Harper saw her tearstained cheeks, he knew she’d overheard his conversation with Leland. That’s what he got for shouting and carrying on like the disgruntled ex-star of Two and a Half Men.

  “Can I come in? I need to talk to you.”

  “I think you said enough out in the hall.”

  “Please, Azure, I only need a minute of your time.”

  Azure kept her eyes on her computer screen. She was hurt and confused, and looking at Harper would be her downfall. Was he here because he loved her? Or because he wanted to patch things up and continue their marriage charade? He was sending more mixed signals than a broken-down satellite dish, and Azure was sick of trying to figure him out, sick of chasing after him. It was better they go their separate ways. Starting over in a new city was going to be difficult, likely the hardest thing she’d ever done, but Azure knew the only hope she had of getting over Harper was by making a clean break.

  “You’re leaving?” Harper gestured to the red travel packet sitting on the middle of her desk. “Where are you going?”

  “It’s none of your business.”

  “Azure, you have every right to be mad at me, to hate me. I don’t fault you for that,” he confessed, his voice a notch above a whisper. “I’m deeply ashamed of the way I treated you. That’s not me. I’m not that kind of guy. I don’t treat people badly, not even Jake, and everyone knows I can’t stand him!”

  Arching her shoulders, Azure turned away from her computer screen and clasped her trembling hands. Dry-eyed and composed, she opened her mouth, fully prepared to ask Harper to get the hell out of her office, but when she saw the anguished expression on his face and heard the despair in his tone, she swallowed her retort.

  “I was a jerk. I messed up. I admit it. I let my temper get the better of me, but I’m here now, ready to make up for the pain I’ve caused, ready to be the man you need me to be.”

&n
bsp; “Our deal is off, remember? Now you’re free to sell the rights to our story to—”

  “I don’t want a deal. I want a real marriage, with you, if you’ll still have me.”

  Azure gave him a blank stare, remained quiet. He looked contrite and sounded sincere, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that Harper was playing her, only apologizing so he could parlay their breakup into an even bigger news story later down the road. “Harper, you don’t know what you want. Three days ago, you called me and our marriage fake, and today you’re professing your undying love. Which one is it?”

  “I pushed you away because I was afraid to trust you, afraid to love. I was scared that we wouldn’t last, but living without you this week has been torture. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep and I think about you all day long.”

  “For a man who claims to be inconsolable, you seem all right to me.”

  “Looks are deceiving.”

  “You’re right about that, because you had no problem blowing by me outside the municipal court building on Friday,” she pointed out. “No problem at all.”

  Harper winced, as if he was in physical pain.

  “Do you have any idea how embarrassed I was when you walked off with Griffin and left me standing there?” Azure’s eyes thinned, and her voice climbed. “I never imagined you of all people would treat me that way. I—I thought you loved me.”

  “I do, Azure, with all my heart.”

  “Then why would you publicly humiliate me?”

  “Baby, I am so sorry. I wasn’t thinking,” he confessed, moving closer to the desk. “Instead of listening to you, I let my anger and my pride get the best of me.”

  “But what happens the next time you get mad at me? Are you going to toss me out on the street with nowhere to go? Or ignore me when I try to reach out to you?”

  Harper held up his hand, as if he was taking an oath. “No, never, I swear.”

  “Why should I believe you? You’ve done it before, Harper. What’s to say you won’t do it again?” The wounds from being humiliated and shunned as a child ran deep, and Azure didn’t know if she could ever forgive Harper for rejecting her—not once, not twice, but three heartbreaking times. “I’m not perfect, and there was a time when advancing my career was all I cared about, but I would never, ever do the things you accused me of.”