The Second Chance Café

by Amanda Prowse

‘That must have made you sad. Must have made you all sad.’ Flora slurped up her milk.

  Bea smiled at the smart, insightful child. ‘It did a bit.’

  The front doorbell rang. Bea hopped off the sofa and trod the stairs.

  It was Kim looking back at her through the glass.

  ‘You don’t need to ring, honey, just come on up!’

  ‘Didn’t like to, in case you and Flora were chatting. Hey, Flora!’ Kim stuck her head round the sitting room door and waved at her.

  ‘Cup of tea?’ Bea was already in the kitchen, filling the kettle.

  ‘Why not. It’s funny how I work with food and drink all day but often forget to take either myself.’ Kim refastened her ponytail, scraping up the stray tendrils that had fallen loose through the day. ‘Not interrupting, am I?’

  ‘No, not at all.’ Bea lowered her voice a bit, mindful that Flora was in the next room. ‘We were just talking about Wyatt’s childhood. The trials of parenthood! It’s reminded me that you can only do what you think is right at the time and then pray that you don’t end up being proved wrong.’

  ‘Seems like sound advice. My mum and dad were always far too busy; even when we were on holiday it felt more like a school trip. I wish they’d relaxed more with us, just chatted.’

  ‘That’s exactly what I’m talking about.’ Bea pulled mugs from the shelf. ‘Maybe your mum and dad didn’t want to waste a single opportunity to teach you something – maybe that was their goal. And you have turned out super smart.’

  Kim blushed. ‘I don’t know about that.’

  ‘But you see it as them not relaxing, not spending quality time!’ Bea opened her palms to the sky. ‘I think Mr Giraldi hit the nail on the head when he said that all families need a translator!’

  ‘Sign me up! I’d love to know what my parents are on about. Wyatt was lucky to have you.’ Kim sighed.

  ‘Don’t think he’d see it that way, especially at the moment. He gets so mad at me, I suppose because he can. It’s always been that way. He wasn’t happy about sharing his mum and when he was home from school he used to dream up any number of situations that excluded Peter. I always went along with it, of course. I figured if he was happy then I was happy and that made Peter happy! Peter thought he was doing the right thing by paying for Wyatt’s very expensive education and Wyatt thought he was being shipped off and ignored. Which was a shame, a great shame. Both of them were hamstrung by convention and expectation. It all seems a little silly now and, as Flora put it, rather sad. If they had managed to get over the first hurdle of awkwardness, they might have been good friends. It would have been good for both of them.’

  ‘You must miss him.’

  ‘Peter or Wyatt?’ Bea levelled.

  ‘Well, Peter, obviously, as Wyatt is still around!’ Kim laughed.

  ‘Do you know, Kimmy, I miss them both, actually. Peter was my good companion and he made me feel safe, and Wyatt was my little rock.’

  ‘What happened?’ Kim sank back against the counter-top and gripped her mug of peppermint tea.

  ‘Oh, a few things. Flora’s mother for one,’ she whispered, sticking her head out of the kitchen, reassured to see Flora on the sofa, absorbed in her iPad and laughing at some clip that sounded like a cartoon. She kept her voice low. ‘I’m not blaming her. Wyatt wanted to stretch his wings, rebel in some small way, which is quite natural. If anything, I encouraged him. But then, while he was stretching his wings, he got to thinking about how I’d let him down and those thoughts became paramount and turned to anger. I guess he’s been punishing me ever since, in one way or another.’

  ‘How did you let him down?’

  ‘Oh, goodness, it’s a long and boring story.’ Bea fussed with her beads, rearranging them on her chest, glad of the distraction. Liking the familiar jangle of her bangles. ‘And I’m not sure that I did. It’s more that he thought I did, which for him makes it the same thing.’

  ‘God, now I’m curious.’ Kim smiled.

  ‘Well, you know what they say about curiosity...’

  Bea pictured Wyatt lying on the sofa in his school uniform with his feet on her lap; he must have been about seven. ‘I’m glad you’re my mummy...’

  ‘Did you like Flora’s mum more when you first met her than you do now?’

  ‘Oh gosh, it’s not that I don’t like Sarah! I do! I was just like most mothers that over-love their sons; I secretly disliked any girl he brought home. But there comes a point when you can see that the son is smitten and you have two choices, either embrace that girl or lose your boy.’

  ‘So you embraced her?’ Kim leant forward, a hopeful tone to her question as she imagined Tait’s mother holding her hand.

  ‘No, not really. I lost my boy.’

  Kim was stuck for a response.

  Bea broke the tension. ‘Would you like some carrot cake? I know it’s cheating, but I picked some up from the new Plum Patisserie that’s opened up in The Rocks – cakes to die for! And Flora and I were admiring their cupcakes on the forum – cupcakes from Mayfair, no less! They looked beautiful.’

  Kim stared at the moist, walnut-laden crumbs topped with cream-cheese frosting. ‘Mmmnn, please. Just a small piece. Wyatt and you are still close though, right? I mean, you’re the first person he thought of when he needed help this week.’ She gestured towards the lounge with her elbow as she bit into the chunk of carrot cake.

  Bea sighed, thinking about how she had been excluded from their pre-Christmas plans. ‘Not as close as we were. I think he resented being sent away to school, even though he loved it. And I think the boys he met at school made him realise how unconventional his mum was and he was embarrassed about that.’

  ‘Christ, half his luck! Wish my mum and dad had tried to do what was right for me. If I’d gone to a place like Scotch College I’d have the prime minister’s job or at the very least be with the Sydney Philharmonia by now!’

  Bea laughed. ‘Yes, I did try, but at Scotch there wasn’t much room for anything that wasn’t conventional or easily pigeonholed. The mums of his mates were all married to landowners or bankers. They spent their time keeping house and doing their bit for charity, so he was mortified when he worked out that his own mum, far from doing the rounds on the debutante circuit, had in fact been knocked up at eighteen and disowned by her Jesus-loving parents. It was difficult for him. I think he always felt that there was a chunk of him missing. He shared rooms with the sons of the Honourable This and That – or the ’Orrible This and That, as Peter used to call some of them! And it didn’t really matter whether they were titled, extremely privileged or not, they all had something Wyatt didn’t – a dad. He wanted his own dad more than anything else in the world.’

  ‘But he had Peter.’

  Bea smiled. ‘Yes, he did.’

  ‘I do miss him,’ Kim said. ‘He was a lovely man, Bea. The way he used to look at you. I would love someone to look at me like that, you know, like there’s no one else in the room, no matter how crowded it is.’

  Bea could only agree. ‘Yes, yes, he did. I was very lucky.’

  Her thoughts flew again to her son and his relationship with his stepfather. Neither of them had known how to behave with the other. She knew that Wyatt had never fully understood what his early years had been like for her, for them, how much of a battle it had been just to survive. Queuing for cut-price scraps at the market at the end of the day, living on broth. We were both so lucky to find Peter.

  Bea gave an involuntary shudder. She remembered the day Peter had told her to close her eyes and had then laid in her palm a Chinese coin with a square hole cut from its middle. ‘I found this on the kerbside. It’s our good-luck charm! It’s very appropriate: you’re a round peg and I’m a square hole and yet we kind of fit together.’

  ‘Peter, I... I can’t feel how you want me to. I am fond of you, but...’

  ‘I know. I know.’ He’d placed his finger over her mouth and kissed her forehead before storing the coin in a small slit in his wallet
, where it stayed until the day of his death. ‘But I reckon I love you enough for both of us.’ His kind eyes had crinkled into a smile as her chest filled with the bittersweet truth of his honest words.

  Just before he’d passed away, she’d placed that coin in the special wishing fountain guarded by Il Porcellino, asking for forgiveness and sending him love.

  ‘Anyway, Kim,’ she said, bringing herself back to the present, ‘lovely as it is to see you, darling, was there something particular you wanted – apart from to listen to me rambling?’

  ‘You never ramble. Well, except when you do. I just wanted to say a couple of things.’ Kim placed the empty plate on the counter. ‘Firstly, Tait and I are perfectly capable of running the kitchen. If you have to take a day, or longer, I don’t want you to worry. We would never let you down. And secondly, when Wyatt and Sarah are in Bali, you are more than welcome to come and hang out at mine. Only if you’d like to. I mean, you don’t have to, but I know this time of year can be tricky and I don’t want you to be alone, even though you’re used to being alone.’ Kim was getting more and more flustered. ‘You know what I mean.’

  Bea reached forward and hugged the girl she considered family. ‘Thank you, darling girl. What would I do without you?’

  ‘Well, you’d have one more chunk of carrot cake than you currently do, that’s for certain!’ They both laughed.

  Bea’s phone beeped and she saw Wyatt’s name flash onto the screen. ‘Talk of the devil!’

  ‘I’ll let you crack on.’ Kim gave Flora a small wave and left the apartment as Bea read her son’s text.

  Sorry about earlier. It’s all a bit stressful. Shouldn’t have taken it out on you. If Flora really doesn’t want to come to Bali, can she stay with you?

  She sighed and sauntered into the lounge. ‘Just got a text from your dad, who says you can stay with me if you don’t want to go to Bali, though I’m sure you’d much rather spend the lead-up to Christmas in a tropical paradise than washing dishes in the Reservoir Kitchen!’

  ‘No!’ Flora practically yelled. ‘I would much rather stay with you. Can I?’ Her eyes were wide with expectation.

  ‘You can, but—’

  Flora didn’t wait to hear the ‘but’. She leapt from the sofa and bounded around the room like Tigger, shouting ‘Yes!’ and ‘Thank you!’ alternately.

  Bea shook her head. ‘I never thought I’d be more attractive than Bali!’

  ‘I really didn’t want to go.’ Flora flopped down onto the sofa again.

  ‘I guessed that.’

  ‘I would have wanted to go if you were going.’

  ‘Ah, well, that’s a whole other thing.’ Bea sighed.

  ‘Are you upset about not being invited to Bali?’

  Bea nodded. ‘Well, yes, if I’m being honest. A little. But not angry so much as hurt. I guess I have more time to think here on my own, Flora, but I just can’t imagine not including you all in my life and I’ve been dreading the build-up to Christmas, and I thought...’ She looked towards the open French doors. ‘I don’t know what I thought, actually, but I would have liked to have been told of Mum and Dad’s plans so I could make my own.’

  The two were silent for a few seconds until Flora sat bolt upright and raised a finger. An idea had occurred to her. ‘Why don’t we go away somewhere together, just you and me, before Christmas! Just the two of us – we can have our own adventure!’ She sat forward, eyes shining, eager for Bea’s response.

  ‘Oh, I don’t know, it sounds like a lot of trouble at such short notice. You are of course welcome to stay here, darling, if that really is what you want to do. But I think a sedate affair is in order, a low-key December and then on the day itself a nice grilled lobster, some champagne and a trip to the beach to watch the sun set with Mum and Dad. Doesn’t that sound good?’ Bea tried to inject some enthusiasm into her voice.

  ‘That does sound good, but I would love to go away with you, Gran!’ Flora bounced up and down on the spot and clapped. ‘Where could we go?’ She tapped her fingers against her cheek thoughtfully.

  Her excitement was infectious and Bea allowed herself to be swept along. ‘Well, in theory, anywhere! As long as we aren’t too extravagant. Pappy left me a little nest egg for a rainy day or an emergency, and I’d say that, despite the glorious sunshine, we are having a bit of a rainy day. He’d love nothing more than to treat me and his only grandchild to a trip somewhere together.’ Bea smiled, warming slightly to the idea, or not wanting to quash her granddaughter’s enthusiasm, she wasn’t sure.

  ‘We could go to Bali ourselves and stay in a better hotel than Mum and Dad and spy on them from behind bushes and walls!’

  ‘Oh gosh, Flora, I don’t know about that. As long as I don’t have to shout anything rude at them from behind the wall.’ She winked. ‘I think I’d rather not. Bit too old to be sneaking around Bali hiding from your mum and dad.’ She chuckled, picturing them doing just that.

  ‘How about we go up to Mollymook? You know people there, we can sit on the beach, have a barbecue and you can drink wine, just like you used to with Pappy.’

  Bea couldn’t imagine going to Mollymook without Peter, but before she could counter that suggestion her laptop gave a loud ping as another email flew in. Immediately she pictured misty moors, a flash of tartan, long walks searching for white heather, and real fires blazing high to ward off the winter chill. ‘How about Scotland?’ she asked.

  ‘Scotland! Isn’t it going to be freezing cold? We’d have to get ski suits and snow boots. There’s not even a warm beach to swim off!’ Flora shivered at the thought.

  Bea laughed. ‘You’re right, there’s not much by way of beach holidays over there at this time of year, but we do have a ready-made guide in Alex and we might even see snow!’

  Flora flung herself back against the cushions. ‘Snow? Really? I’d love to see snow! Can we? Can we go?’

  Bea looked at her granddaughter’s face and couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen her so excited about anything. She looked properly happy.

  ‘Well, as long as Tait and Kim don’t mind me slinking off, and Mario is free to work some shifts, and Wyatt and Sarah give us the go-ahead, then yes. Why not?’

  ‘Really? Are you teasing me?’

  ‘No, I’m not teasing you. Why not?’ Bea grinned, feeling a jolt of excitement at the prospect. She looked at Flora, whose face had dissolved into tears.

  ‘Oh, darling, why are you crying?’

  ‘Because... because I’m happy.’ She gulped. ‘I want to go as far away from here as possible. I want to go to Scotland!’

  ‘Then we shall. We can explore, go to the mountains and visit a loch, maybe go to St Andrews. And I bet the shopping is good. It’ll be quite a hike, but as with any adventure, it’s as much about the journey as the arriving!’

  ‘Do you think Mum and Dad will let me go?’ Flora gasped at the thought that they might say no.

  ‘Well, there’s only one way of finding out. I’ll ask them.’ Bea nodded, adjusting her bangles.

  Flora slid off the sofa and jumped up and down on the spot, clapping. ‘Whoop whoop! We’re going on an adventure!’

  Bea stood in the balcony window and dialled Sarah’s number. The two exchanged pleasantries and Sarah thanked her for looking after Flora.

  ‘It was about Flora I was really ringing. We’ve had this bonkers idea of going away, to Scotland, no less, while you guys are in Bali...’

  ‘I didn’t know you were going to Scotland?’ Sarah sounded surprised. And I didn’t know you were going to take my son to Bali right before Christmas... Bea swallowed the words, knowing that Wyatt was a grown man and not a child held against his will. Sarah was his wife and not his jailer, no matter how it sometimes seemed to her. ‘It’s quite unplanned, but actually seems like a good idea. It’s been lovely spending time with Flora. I told her that it’s only okay if you both say so. Otherwise we’re quite happy to stay in Surry Hills.’

  ‘It sounds like a wonderful opp
ortunity. I’d like her home before she goes, though. I think we need to lay a few foundations and talk things through...’ Sarah sounded undecided.

  ‘Of course,’ Bea agreed. ‘It might be just what she needs – a chance to get away and think about things in a neutral place.’

  ‘It might, you’re right. Rather than have her moping around the house longing for her horrible mates,’ Sarah said. ‘The more distance between her and that bloody crowd, the better.’

  ‘Absolutely.’ Bea nodded.

  ‘Actually, I’m glad I’ve got you on the phone, Bea. I wanted to ask, is there anything in particular I can get you for Christmas?’

  ‘Good God, no! I’ve got far too much stuff as it is. Just a card would be lovely.’ Bea wanted to spare her daughter-in-law the bother.

  The call was ended cordially. She remembered her first Christmas in Sydney, alone, pregnant and pining. The pain in her heart had been so real, she’d thought she might die. Her ache for him was physical. Every couple she saw sent a stab of grief straight through her; every smiling girl reminded her of how happy she’d been. It seemed better to stay inside and figure out a way to let the sadness wash over her. She could only think about their last morning together, holding his head as he sobbed, begging him to stay and feeling like she couldn’t carry on without him.

  Flora skipped to the bathroom, from where Bea soon heard the sound of water splashing on the shower floor.

  She looked at the photograph of Peter smiling from the wall and adjusted the silver bangles that he had collected for her over the years. ‘Well, my love, looks like I’m going on a little trip.’

  She swallowed the flash of guilt, shaking her head to rid her mind of the image of the man whose whereabouts she knew little of and who for all she knew might have died a long time ago.

  She flipped open her laptop and perused hotels before continuing to read the rest of Alex’s email.

  The Christmas lights have been switched on along the Royal Mile and the whole city looks absolutely beautiful, bringing some much needed cheer and sparkle to these cold, dark nights.

  Hoping tomorrow is less eventful for you.