Sharon Poppen

by Hannah

  There were three of them again and she had wondered if the evil men had returned. She was terrified and froze in place. She crouched and watched. They jumped from their horses and went to the bodies as they pulled their guns and looked around. Finding the bodies cold, they holstered their weapons and talked among themselves.

  She saw one of the younger men go to his saddle and pull out a small shovel. The three men talked and then while the two younger men took turns digging, the old man went through the burned belongings.

  It was while one of the younger men was taking a break from digging that he strolled to the high grass. He began to unbutton his trousers. She had to move or he would surely see her, and that’s when he did, indeed, spot her. She ran; he chased. The other young man joined the chase. She was beyond fear; she ran as if possessed.

  The men finally pinned her to the ground. They tied her hands and gagged her mouth so she couldn't bite, spit or scratch them anymore. They talked to her, to calm her, but her fear was controlling her actions. Finally the older one told the younger ones to let her be for now and to finish the graves. The younger men sat her down with a plea for her not to run and perhaps injure herself. That she was still alive and unhurt began to register. She decided to do as they asked for the moment.

  The older man started a fire, made coffee and roasted a rabbit. She watched. She watched him and she watched the two young men finish the graves. Tears escaped and made their way down her checks. She lowered her head to hide them.

  When the graves were done and four small wooden crosses placed on them, the two men washed sparingly from a canteen hung on their packhorse and came to the fire. Not wanting them to see her tears, she kept her head lowered. The young man with the light brown hair offered to get her something to eat.

  He filled a tin plate and came to squat in front of her. Lifting her head, he saw the tears. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket, wet it with their precious canteen water, and wiped her face. He removed the gag and offered her some food. First she refused, but a growl from her empty stomach gave her away. She let him spoon-feed her. She sipped coffee from a mug he held to her lips. The warm food and coffee made her drowsy and before long her head was nodding.

  A full bladder woke her with a definite urgency. Her hands were still tied. She noticed that her head rested on a rolled up blanket pillow. A light blanket draped her body. The fire had burned down, but an occasional ember sparked into the early dawn.

  Two of the men lay sleeping across from her near the fire pit. She pulled herself to a sitting position and instantly the third man was at her side. It was the one who had fed her. She needed to let him know she needed to urinate. But, before she could say a word, he whispered softly.

  “Let me help you up. I'll walk you to the tall grass, then untie you. But please, we mean you no harm. You've got to understand how far away from civilization you are. You need to stay with us. We'll get you to safety. I promise. Will you promise me you won't run off?"

  They had done her no harm. Surely they weren't the same men that had savaged her family. He was right. She would need help getting back to a town. She raised her head, looked him in the eye and nodded yes. He untied her and said he would wait at the edge of the grass. She returned quickly. He asked if she was thirsty. She nodded. He led her to the horses and handed her a canteen. The water was warm, but refreshing.

  As he recapped the canteen he asked, "Still tired? Want to go back to sleep?" He pointed toward the campfire.

  She shook her head no.

  "Want to sit watch with me and catch the sunrise?"

  She nodded yes.

  He led her to the rock ledge where he had kept the last of the three watches of the night. From the ledge, he had a commanding view of the surrounding area. They sat facing east and stared into the star filled night sky. It wasn’t long until the stars on the horizon began to dim and a sliver of deep purple announced the impending dawn. The sky quickly changed from purple to gray, then blue, pink and finally orange as the tip of the sun came into view. As they looked away from the glare, they turned to face each other.

  She saw a combination of strength and gentleness in his young face. She knew she was safe with him. The tears began again. He reached for her hand and squeezed it. She fell against his chest and the tears turned to sobs. He folded his arms around her and let her sorrow flow. When she had cried herself out, she pulled back and wiped the tears with her hands as best she could. He handed her his handkerchief again. Her thank you was a slight smile. He just nodded.

  At that moment, the older man called, "Jim, coffee's ready."

  During breakfast, the decision was made to return to the ranch. The girl rode with them docilely. Her first words were spoken when she met Ma.

  Ma moved Nora into the sewing room. They spent a lot of time talking and when the family gathered for meals, both women frequently sported puffy eyes.

  Pa, Jim and Joe left again, but Nora stayed. She was a hard worker. She did more than her share of the chores, but more than that she was company for Ma.

  At first, she didn't have much to say to Danny and Michael. Then, one day as Michael was struggling with his arithmetic lesson, she sat down to coach. Soon, she was working with Danny on his letters. They worked at the large kitchen table. During those sessions, Nora seemed more relaxed and more talkative.

  One day as they were working on their lessons, Danny asked, "How old were your little brothers?"

  She stiffened and got very quiet. Ma had just walked into the room. She motioned for the boys to leave.

  Nora fluttered her hand and looked at Ma. "No. It's alright. I think I can talk about it."

  Ma nodded to the chairs and the boys sat back down.

  Nora began sharing her past. Her brothers had been older than either Danny or Michael. Patrick had been fourteen and Sean, twelve. She loved them very much. She helped them with their lessons too. Her folks had never learned to read or write so they relied on her. They wanted an education for their children. Nora had been sent to school in Boston before they began their journey. The boys had worked as farm hands with their Pa and hadn’t had the opportunity to go to school. Each night, she would tutor them for an hour or so.

  Talking about her family generated a catharsis. She related funny and sad stories about her family life. Ma had brought in fresh milk and poured a large glass for each of them. She set a platter of cookies on the table and sat down. In fact, they sat around the table for a couple of hours that day listening to Nora’s story. From then on, it seemed as though Nora was able to look to the future more often and leave the past in the past.

  *****

  The sound of an unseen critter near the well brought Michael back to Mexico. He stood up and stretched. He missed Nora. She truly was a big sister and always took time to listen to him and make him feel special. He went back to the house and folded himself back into his sleeping pallet as he pictured Nora. She had become a member of the family by the time the men returned that first time after dropping her off. They had been gone three months. This time, for some reason, they had stayed home for six months straight. Six horses, two cows and three pigs were bought. The horses were high spirited and intelligent, one stallion and five mares – good breeding stock. The new cows were high quality too. Not what they’d had in South Carolina, but still high quality.

  Jim and Joe spent a great deal of time showing Nora, Danny and Michael how to care for them. Well, actually Joe had shown the boys. Jim and Nora had drifted into a way of talking and looking at each other that excluded everyone else.

  Michael smiled in the darkness of this strange little room and blushed as he recalled one incident in particular. He had been in the barn in one of the far stalls looking for horseshoes. He, Danny and Joe enjoyed a game or two after supper each evening. He heard someone enter the barn and before he could announce his presence he heard Nora’s voice. The intimate, giggly tone made Michael crouch down and keep quiet.

  "Oh, Jim! Do you really mean it?
"

  "Of course I do. I guess I knew it the first time you scratched me. Or maybe it was that first bite you took out of me."

  She laughed and held her hands out to him. Michael hadn’t been able to resist watching the happy couple through a gap in the side of the horse stall. It made him feel good to see these two important people in his life laughing and obviously very happy.

  “Nora, I love you. I love you so very much."

  "And I love you too, James Farrell."

  They stood holding hands, he looking down into her green eyes and she returning the look. She was so grateful to see his dark eyes filled with so much love for her.

  She spoke first. "Well, shouldn't you be asking me an important question now?” Her eyes sparkled with anticipation.

  He dropped her hands, turned and walked towards a horse stall. With his back to her, he spoke softly. "Don't know that I can."

  "Why?" Her voice rang with disbelief?

  "I can't offer you a normal life. At least for awhile."

  She walked over to him, took his arm and turned him to face her. "What's normal?” She asked as her eyes searched his face and waited apprehensively for his reply.

  "A man who is home each night for supper and bed. Look at me. Really look at me. I'm gone for months at a time. And it looks like it's going to be this way for a long time."

  She was silent for a while. Her hand rested on his arm. Then she leaned against him and buried her head in his chest. He wrapped one of his arms around her shoulder, then reached up with the other and stroked her glorious mop of red curls.

  "Do you truly love me, James Farrell?” Her voice was so soft Michael barely heard the question.

  "My God, yes.” His brother whispered into her hair.

  "Then what difference does your traveling make?" She looked up, took his face in her hands, pulled it down and kissed him full and firm on the lips. "I know you are the man God meant for me to share my life with. We will live the way we have to, but we will have each other when we can."

  "But, Nora, you really don't know what we do when we're away. And it isn't safe for you to know. Can you live with that? Soon our reputations will cause many things to be said about us. Do you have enough faith and love to endure our times apart and ignore the accusations?"

  "I don't know. Not for absolute, of course.” She answered quietly and honestly before continuing. “But look at your Ma. She loves your Pa so very much. Look what they’ve been through. I only know I love you and can't imagine my life without you."

  They were silent a long time. Neither of them willing to break the eye embrace that held them motionless. Finally, Jim took her hand, led her to a bale of hay and motioned for her to sit. He knelt on one knee and looked up at her.

  Firmly, with a smile on his face, he asked, "Will you marry me, Nora Cassidy?"

  There was no hesitation. "Yes, yes, yes!” She laughed and fell into his arms knocking them to the floor.

  They kissed and snuggled for what seemed like an eternity to the snooping Michael. He was beginning to wonder how he was going to get away when Danny came running in to look for him. He tripped and fell on top of the startled couple while still yelling for Michael. Jim and Nora got to their feet and helped Danny to his.

  Jim smiled and walked toward Michael’s hiding place. "Michael?”

  Michael emerged blushing from head to toe.

  Nora was unabashed. She held out her hands. "Come here, little brother. I guess you're the first to know that I'm truly to be your sister."

  At dinner that night, the grinning couple had Michael make the announcement. It came as no surprise to anyone, but certainly brought joy to the entire family. The following Saturday, the family went to town and Jim and Nora were married by the local preacher.

  A year later, Patrick James Farrell was born. Two years later, Sarah Elizabeth Farrell was born. Jim's traveling made for a difficult family life, but Nora and Ma somehow continued to hold the family together.

  *****

  Would sleep never come, Michael wondered as he stretched, yawned and put his hands behind his head. Jim had sure been right when he told Nora that soon people would start talking about the Farrell's. Lawmen came around periodically to ask questions. The ranch was occasionally kept under surveillance. The system of the water pails for the horses was set up so the men would know if it was safe for them to come in. When they did, they had to stay inside. The family had to carry on like normal going to school or church and such. The townsfolk, for the most part, were good to Ma and Nora. Michael and Danny went to school and, except for remarks now and again about family outlaws, were treated well.

  Then, Pa's luck ran out. Late one night Jim and Joe arrived at the ranch. Joe woke Michael and Danny and told them to come down to the kitchen. Ma and Nora were already there. Ma held her hands out to the boys, who went to her side.

  Jim started. "Mike, Danny, we've bad news."

  That's when Michael realized his father wasn't there.

  Jim continued. "Pa's heart gave out on him a couple of weeks ago. He was hurting real bad for about two weeks and then early one morning he just sort of slipped away. It was very peaceful."

  The boys were only twelve and ten. They really hadn't gotten close to their Pa since the war, but both felt like a hole had opened up in their stomachs. Neither knew what to say.

  Ma squeezed their hands. "Let's all close our eyes and each in our own way talk to Papa and say our good-byes.” Everyone did as she bade.

  As eyes opened and heads began to rise, Danny broke the silence. "Can you stay home now?"

  "We'll talk more about it later.” Jim answered looking over Danny's head at Nora.

  The entire family gathered in the parlor late the next afternoon. Jim, now twenty-two, looked older than his years and was stepping quite naturally into the role of family patriarch. He stood by the fireplace, with Nora sitting to his right holding baby Sarah. Three-year old Pat sat quietly on his grandmother’s lap next to Nora on the divan. Joe sat in the rocking chair directly across from Jim. Michael and Danny had pulled up two side chairs from the dining room table to sit next to Joe.

  Jim ran his fingers through his hair. The afternoon sun, shining through the parlor window, highlighted the tautness of his facial muscles and the firmness of his jaw line. He cleared his throat. All eyes in the room were fastened on him.

  "We need to talk about the future of this family. We need to make new plans, set new responsibilities. At least until we've finished with Pa's plan."

  "What was Pa's plan?” Danny asked.

  "Joe and I can't be specific because of the danger it would put all of you in."

  Ma interjected, "Pa's plans were revenge for what happened during the war. For God’s sake, isn't it done yet?” Her voice matched the pleading in her eyes.

  "No," Jim said quietly. “And, Ma, in fairness to Pa, you know he wasn’t out for revenge, he was only out to avenge the wrongs done to this family as he saw it.”

  "We could argue the slight nuances between acts of revenge versus avenge, but I’ve long since given up that argument. Let me just say that I think it is or should be over.” Ma’s tone of voice was direct and firm.

  "Remember, we can't just stop,” argued Jim. “We're wanted men. We'd have to resettle and maybe change our names. The reality is we don't have the resources as yet. Because, for all we're credited with doing, we are only doing what Pa said originally. We're only getting our things back from the actual people who did harm to our family, as best as we can tell, through the names we've managed to gather. Believe me, we're not rich or even close to what we had before the war."

  "Let it be over, son.” Ma looked up at Jim, then across to Joe. Joe met her eyes, but quickly diverted his gaze from the unspoken pleas reflecting back to him.

  Jim came and stood next to his mother. He put his hand on her shoulder. Little Pat wiggled free from her embrace and held his arms out to his father. Jim reached down and pulled his son to him. The child started to talk,
but Jim silenced him with a finger to his lips. Pat quieted down and nestled close to his father’s chest. Jim returned his hand to his mother’s shoulder, but looked at his wife at the other end of the divan. He spoke quietly, at first.

  "There is nothing I would like better than to wake up every morning next to my wife and go to bed with her every night. I’d like to fill the hours in between teaching this little fellow everything little boys need to know and to dote on little Sarah every single day.”

  Nora managed a smile of encouragement.

  His voice picked up volume and resolution. "But..., Pa set a course for us. Unfortunately, at this point we're too far down the road to stop and try to live normal lives. It isn’t possible. Not here and not now.” He paused to make eye contact with each member of his beloved family. No one spoke. He continued. “To pick up and try to find a place to start over requires more means than we have. But over and above those reasons there's the most important reason of all. The course Pa set was RIGHT!” Jim's voice had grown even louder and more emphatic with the last words.

  "No.” Ma rose from the divan and faced Jim. "No, no, no!"

  Joe stood up, moved to Ma's side and put his arm about her shoulder. "Yes, Ma. Pa was right. Those bastards who robbed and raped their way through the South must pay for their actions.” There was no sign of Joe's familiar good nature. His face and voice were harsh. Firm. "We Rebs who survived the war must be men enough to avenge the things that were done by those animals disguised as soldiers. I was only sixteen when the fighting stopped, but as young as I was, I knew the difference between a soldier and a common criminal. We aren't talking about soldiers doing their duty; we’re talking about raping and plundering. We, the survivors, owe it to ourselves and to our fallen brothers. That includes Pa. It was what he came home to that drove him to an early grave as much as the actual war.” It was a long, serious speech for the normally carefree Joe.

  Ma put her hands to her face; her shoulders sagged. No one spoke or moved. Then, Ma's body began to straighten. Her shoulders rose and her hands moved from her face. She turned to Joe and looked up into his blue eyes. His face was a stone of resolve. She looked across at Jim who wore the same expression. Time seemed to stand still. Then she looked down at Nora.