Craving Dragonflies

by Terri E. Laine

  She’d thought there would be more to it with the guy that way.

  “Just don’t do it, at least not with expectations.” She seemed to shake herself. “Really, though, it’s not worth it. They’ll brag to their friends, and even if no one slut shames you for it, you’ll feel skanky after.”

  Neither of us spoke for a long time while deep in reflection.

  When she finished with my hair and makeup, again I was sure she was my fairy godmother. I almost looked pretty.

  “You are pretty.”

  I’d said that out loud. I really needed to get a rein on my tongue. Her smile was tight. I didn’t think it had anything to do with me. She still looked haunted by the past.

  “Thank you. You really have a gift,” I said.

  “Too bad I can’t use it,” she said, gathering her things in the giant makeup case she kept.

  Her father hadn’t approved of her going to cosmetology school like she wanted. He felt her choices were a reflection on him and his business. Being daddy’s little girl, she hadn’t fought him on it.

  “Maybe after?” I asked.

  She shrugged. “I didn’t major in chemistry for nothing. Maybe one day I’ll make my own products.”

  The doorbell rang. How long had we been at it?

  As she shooed me away with her hand, she said, “Go get dressed. I’ll entertain him until you come out.”

  That old and dreadful fear of being the ugly stepsister crept in. I managed a smile and a nod of my head before disappearing into my room.

  I’d showered before she decided to flat iron my hair. I glanced over at the dress on my bed she’d picked out of her closet for me. Though I longed for jeans and a tee, she’d argued against it. Since she had guys eating out of her palm, who was I to argue with her advice?

  When I stepped out, I braced myself to find Kent drooling over her. Though I hadn’t said a word, he turned. My stomach flipped as his entire face lit up when he saw me. He strode over and caught my hand, kissed my cheek, and said, “You look beautiful.”

  “My work here is done,” Celeste announced, waving at us from the door.

  I glanced at Kent, but his eyes didn’t seem to hold that interest any when looking at Celeste. When they landed on me, I glanced downward, unused to the attention.

  “They canceled the concert for tonight.”

  Like a ball bouncing, my gaze found his again.

  “I figured with the rain and all…” I said.

  “I tried to call, but you didn’t respond.”

  My phone. “Sorry, I lost my phone.”

  He only nodded and didn’t give me the third degree about it.

  “We can do something else if you want. But first, I need to tell you something.”

  The pit that had been in my stomach grew into a watermelon. He was going to say that he liked Celeste more, despite doing a good job at hiding that. I swallowed another lump and tried not to hate him for it. If he was being honest and not sneaky like other guys, I’d respect him for it.

  “I’m gay.”

  I angled my head as if that would clear up my confusion. Then I took two steps back and flopped onto the couch.

  “I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to cancel tonight,” he said.

  There was no way I could meet his eyes with the rising anger building inside me.

  “This was all a game.” I thought back to how it had been his brother who’d done the asking. “You used me to hide that from your brother.”

  “No… Yes… Not exactly.”

  My gaze lifted and narrowed laser points at him.

  “Which one is it?” I snapped, feeling incredibly stupid for thinking he could possibly be interested in me.

  He sat next to me, leaving sufficient distance between us, sensing my boiling rage.

  “The truth is, I would have asked you out—” When my glare pinned him like one of my specimens, he adjusted his statement. “To hang out—after telling you the truth about myself. But yes, I didn’t tell you I was gay then because I didn’t want my brother to know.”

  I exhaled a modicum of my anger. But it was the regret on his face that cooled more of my fury.

  “Why are you keeping it from him?”

  These days people were so more accepting of other’s choices. But what did I know? I wasn’t gay and wouldn’t understand the pressure he could face at home.

  “It’s not just him. I come from an old Southern family with roots so deep in tradition, their God could never accept someone not rigidly straight.”

  “I’m sorry.” I found myself saying.

  It wasn’t that I forgave him. At the same time, I understood it must be hard for him.

  “I shouldn’t be surprised. Even if you were straight, you wouldn’t have ever asked me out,” I said, my shoulders slumping.

  I got to my feet and headed for the door.

  “I may be gay, but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the beauty in others regardless of who they are. You’re gorgeous. Hell, my brother has done nothing but talk about you since that day. If he wasn’t dating Mia, he’d probably ask you out himself.”

  The bitter laugh that escaped me almost brought tears to my eyes. I didn’t know who Mia was, but there was a reasonable conclusion for his brother’s actions.

  “On some level it’s possible he knows the truth. His flattery of me is probably just a way to convince you to his side.”

  I opened the door and he stood.

  “You’re wrong. You don’t know my brother like I do.”

  He was right about that.

  “Apparently, I don’t know you either.”

  He sighed and stopped in front of me.

  “It was a shitty move and I should have explained when my brother left.” I said nothing. “I’m really sorry. And I hope you’ll forgive me. Maybe we could be friends.”

  I didn’t have a lot of those, but I wanted to be alone.

  “Maybe,” I said.

  He gave a stiff nod and left. I closed the door and leaned back on it as a tear trickled down my face. What was wrong with me? I’d never done anything bad to anyone. Yet, every boy I’d ever dated had disappointed me. The only thing worse than what happened was sitting though Celeste grilling me about my night and being forced to tell her the truth. Her pity would be the icing on the cake.

  As I closed my eyes, why did the image of the perfect guy standing drenched in the rain with lost eyes cross my mind? He was the last boy on Earth I should crush on.

  14

  Ashton

  * * *

  If I didn’t have to eat, I wouldn’t go to the café. Seeing my friends only made me feel like an outsider looking in. But eating was imperative if I wanted to survive afternoon practice. Not that I cared much. The only reason I played was for Sawyer.

  I looked up to see a big dude pointing a meaty finger at someone hidden from view by his bulk.

  “You little shit,” he said with a girl hanging onto one of his beefy arms urging him to go.

  I almost didn’t stop until I caught sight of the guy about to be pummeled with his glasses lying at his feet.

  “I’m going to kick your ass,” the guy declared.

  “For just talking to her.”

  Bryant looked like he was going to shit himself. I cursed and sighed with resignation before moving to intercept what would be a killing blow.

  “Westborough.” I faced one of the linebackers on the team as he said, “Get the fuck out of the way so I can flatten the little douche bag.”

  The guy was juiced up on something more than rage. His red glazed eyes may have resembled a bull, but he was hopping on something.

  “Let it go,” I warned.

  “The fuck I will.”

  Dude had a hundred pounds on me or more. He was built to stop tanks heading into war. Most would be afraid, but I’d faced far worse demons in my life.

  “Walk away.” It was my second warning. He had one more before I took action.

  His Hulk-like expr
ession curled in a half-smile.

  “Please don’t do this,” the girl said in heavily accented English.

  He ignored her, his focus solely on me. “What are you going to do about it?”

  “Try me.”

  I didn’t have to say last chance or anything like that. If he made a move, he would go down. That much I was sure of.

  He dropped his arm from its former aim at Bryant.

  “You know what, he’s not worth it. Lucky you, I like Cargill or I would rearrange that pretty face of yours. But we all know he likes it.” I got what he was implying but didn’t take the bait. “He’s captain, so you’ll live another day.” He faced his girl. “Come on.”

  After I was sure he wouldn’t take a cheap shot, I turned and faced Bryant. He was still frozen in his spot. With the fear paralyzed on his face, I half-expected piss to be pooling at his feet. I scooped up his glasses and held them out to him.

  When he didn’t take them, I said, “He’s gone.”

  He sort of blinked like he’d been caught in a waking nightmare. Finally, he reached for them and I dropped them in his palm.

  A normal person might have patted him on the shoulder. Instead, I said before leaving, “Be careful next time.”

  That seemed to snap him out of it. He caught up to me spitting mad.

  “Seriously. She asked me for directions.” My brow rose. “She’s an exchange student from Sweden.” He kept going. “He wasn’t around. Then he like materialized out of nowhere like Scotty beamed him there.”

  I didn’t know who Scotty was. Probably one of those pop culture references lost on me because I didn’t watch a lot of TV growing up.

  “Ash.” Chance, a former roommate of mine, stood three feet away. He glanced over at Bryant before asking, “Can I talk to you for a second?”

  Bryant practically rolled his eyes. “It’s cool. And you don’t have to warn me.” Then he mimicked a voice that wasn’t mine but annoying nonetheless. “Stay away from bullies,” he spat. As he looped off, he muttered, “I thought this was college, not high school.”

  “What’s wrong with him?” Chance asked, hooking a thumb in Bryant’s direction.

  I shrugged. “Look, if you’re here to talk to me about Sawyer, cap it.”

  “That’s not why I want to talk to you. But since you mentioned it, something’s going on with him. He hasn’t been right since you left.”

  He’d said that to me before, many times. That didn’t change what needed to happen. Sometimes friendships weren’t meant to last forever.

  “I don’t think it’s me. You saw what happened the other night.”

  Chance and I had to peel Sawyer off Shelly’s boyfriend before he killed the guy.

  “That’s because the guy’s a douche. And we both know Sawyer likes to save people.”

  That was true. He’d saved me, Chance, and countless others in lots of ways. His savior complex came from guilt for something that happened long ago that wasn’t his fault. But the truth was, I could see how much Sawyer liked Shelly. More than anyone before.

  “It’s more than that.”

  Chance pondered that. “You think he’s into her.”

  I nodded. “Now what did you want to talk about?”

  More than anything I wanted the subject to change. We were nearing the café, and more than likely Sawyer would be there.

  He stopped and shifted just off the walkway. I moved out of traffic near him. “So check it. Brie’s birthday is coming up.” He pulled a square velvet box from his back pocket. “It isn’t exactly what I wanted to get her…” He shrugged.

  Chance didn’t have much. His mom had left and his father had reacted badly. The man barely held a job and spent most of his paycheck on booze trying to make peace with the past. That didn’t leave much for anything. With Chance having a full football scholarship, he wasn’t allowed to work.

  “I just want her to know she means the world to me.” He took a breath. “Anyway, I don’t want her to find it in our room. Can you keep it for me?”

  Brie had basically moved in. I nodded and took the box by the corner before palming it.

  “Thanks, brother,” he said.

  I shoved it into my pocket in case we ran into Brie. We didn’t, but Sawyer was there holding court with some tale.

  The food was actually decent. After my tray was full, I said, “Later,” to Chance.

  “Come on,” he said, hating the divide.

  I gave him a two-finger salute and sat elsewhere. Sawyer was like a drug. Distance was the only way for me not to get sucked back in. I would always love the guy. He’d made the monsters go away. But it was like that saying, when you love someone, sometimes it’s best to let them go.

  That’s what I intended to do.

  After, I skipped class and made a run. I had no idea when Chance would be back for his box and there was something I needed to do. I drove outside of the small college town to a bigger one after running a search for a jewelry store.

  I stood in the back with a man who wore a small magnifying glass over one eye.

  “The quality of the stone, no good,” he said with a slight accent.

  The necklace Chance had gotten for his girl wasn’t exactly cheap, but the tiny diamond pendant was little more than a speck of dust.

  “I know, but I want to use it.”

  With money to burn, it would make good use to help a friend. Still, I didn’t want to make him feel bad about his choice.

  “Can you make it appear as if it’s orbiting the gold center?”

  Chance had said he wanted her to know she meant the world to him. I used that as an idea. I asked the jeweler to add a small gold disk about the size of a pencil eraser head.

  He nodded. “I can add a tiny ring around with the diamond on it, like Saturn.”

  “Not exactly. More like the moon orbiting the Earth.”

  “I get it,” he said, sounding enthusiastic.

  “And can you add another diamond the same size of the other and embed into the gold.”

  “Better quality—yes.”

  “As long as it shines bright.”

  Chance looked at Brie with moon eyes all the time. Having the diamond Chance bought a little rough around the edges orbiting her brightness fit their story.

  “I can do it and have to you tomorrow.”

  He quoted a price that made me blink. The diamond he was putting in had to be bigger than I requested. Ultimately, it didn’t matter. Chance was one of the good ones. He hadn’t deserved the life handed to him.

  I nodded. “Fine. Call me when it’s done.”

  I left and dreaded that I had to go to practice. When I got there, I didn’t expect to run into the tiny girl who made me think of sunshine and angels. She was near the entrance to the athletic building and wasn’t alone. Next to her stood her friend from the party who giggled every time she saw me. For a brief second, I thought Sunshine would smile. Instead, she frowned.

  Why would I expect more? And why was I thinking about her in terms of more? The only person who’d smiled at me these days was that guy she was dating. I shook my head and entered the locker room door. I had to clear the craziness and get tire girl out of my thoughts.

  15

  Willow

  * * *

  Lashes like butterfly wings fluttered before I realized I was staring. Could one person be that beautiful? Then I remembered Kent’s admission and Celeste’s warning and I frowned. Was Ashton also pretending to be something he wasn’t?

  His penetrating gaze lifted and met mine. My belly flopped like a fish out of water, flattening my smile and morphing it into a glower. Only he turned, his glacial gaze no longer leaving me frozen in place.

  “Let’s go,” I begged.

  Why had I let her talk me into coming? Of course, I’d run into him. No, that hadn’t been a secret goal. That was a nose growing lie. There was something about him that drew me in like a blue flame. I was as helpless as a fly captured by the black light that surrounded
him. He was a mystery I wanted to solve.

  “Come on. He should be here soon.”

  It wasn’t long when the object of Celeste’s stalking showed his pretty face. Sawyer Cargill, shameless man-whore, had arrived. His well-gotten reputation lived in infamy, which was saying something in a school this big. One could attend school here all four years and not know half the people you would graduate with.

  Celeste was like the rest of the girls hanging around yelling his name at him like he was some movie star walking the red carpet.

  “Sawyer,” she called, waving her goodies at him.

  That being a bag of freshly made cookies she’d baked for him.

  “Hey, sweetheart. What’d you have for me?”

  She froze in gawking mode. Saving her, I plucked the bag from her hand and gave it to him.

  “Cookies,” I said, masking my annoyance with a smile.

  “Nice.” He winked and said, “Thank you,” before disappearing inside.

  She still hadn’t moved, staring at the closing door.

  “Can we go now?” I complained. “I have class.”

  Her eyes blinked once and then twice before she snapped out of it, turning the tables on me.

  “We can if you tell me what happened on your date.”

  I’d managed to deflect her every question yesterday, claiming I had to study.

  “Can we talk about this later? I’m going to be late. Besides, you got what you wanted. He has your cookies.”

  I wasn’t able to stop a bubble of laughter escaping me when I said that last part.

  “And my number,” she said, looping her arm in mine as we headed toward the main quad of campus.

  “You didn’t?” I asked, knowing her answer.

  “I did.”

  She didn’t sound the least bit ashamed.

  “Really, you could have any guy you wanted. Why him?”

  Her hand lifted, and she began to count off his many virtues.

  “He’s more than a snack for one.”

  Cue the heavy eye roll. “Don’t give me that five course meal business.”

  She shrugged. “He is gorgeous, and there are rumors...”