Craving Dragonflies

by Terri E. Laine

  “Did they say anything?” I asked.

  “No.” The word ended on a sob.

  “Have you called a lawyer?”

  “A lawyer. We can’t even buy groceries. Christmas is going to be ruined,” she cried.

  Mom didn’t do well in situations like this. When my father died, I’d felt more like the parent. I blew out a breath.

  “Have you checked his office?” I suggested.

  “Of course, but everything is locked tight. I need you to come home now.”

  I wanted to remind her that Dan had a daughter. However, with Celeste dealing with her own problems, I didn’t want to stress her out more.

  “Okay. I’ll come home.”

  It was a good thing I had an open return ticket to use. I wasn’t sure how she would have paid for my flight home otherwise.

  I promised to contact the airline and see what flight I could get on. Then I called Ashton again. He didn’t answer. I left him a message with a short version of events, including that I wouldn’t be able to spend Christmas with him. My mother needed me. Despite all her faults, she had done her best as a mom.

  As I packed my things, I didn’t know if my message was necessary. The fact that Ashton hadn’t contacted me again, not even a text, spoke volumes. Hadn’t we talked about the importance of communication in a relationship? Though I hated thinking it, I was sure ours was over.

  48

  Ashton

  * * *

  Sawyer had offered to drive, but I needed something to do. Besides, using my car meant I could avoid giving… my brother—the word still sounded weird to me—the third degree.

  That didn’t stop him and Sawyer from talking like they’d known each other for years. Sawyer avoided the topic of siblings. They stuck to sports. Though August had denied wanting to play football, he seemed more knowledgeable about the subject than some sports commentators.

  Three hours later, we arrived in Dallas. The last time I’d been here was to visit Kelley, a former roommate who now played ball for the pros.

  We wouldn’t have time to stop for a visit, as we would need to turn back around in the early morning hours to be back on campus for our game. August’s Mom had offered to put us up for the night.

  The house we arrived at was almost as large as the one I’d grown up in. Every window seemed to burn with light, which should have been welcoming considering my aversion to the dark. Yet, there was a foreboding that clung in the air like molasses.

  Sawyer had to call my name to get me out of my head and the car. August had already disappeared into the big house.

  “You’re not alone, brother,” Sawyer said, slinging his arm over my shoulder as we walked into the house of revelation.

  I came to an abrupt stop when I looked up from the floor to spot a woman who was almost a twin to Mother. She stopped in front of us with friendly eyes and open arms.

  I caught Sawyer’s quick shake of his head out of the corner of my eye.

  She dropped her arms, only to draw them up as a gasp left her lungs.

  “You look so much like her,” she said, her hand muffling her words.

  Being the wordsmith I wasn’t, I said, “You too.”

  She nodded. “I’m Alice Farrow.”

  I nodded and introduced Sawyer and me.

  The large foyer filled with two other kids around August’s age as I was doing so. In fact, they had to be very close in age.

  “Beatrice and Cooper, come say hello,” Alice said.

  Cooper said it without much enthusiasm. He’d probably been torn from something he’d much rather be doing. If only he knew I felt much the same.

  I’d been focused on August’s twin, if I guessed, and wasn’t prepared for Beatrice. She’d caught me off guard and had come in for a hug.

  Strangely, the agony I usually felt when I was touched wasn’t as bad, probably because she’d pulled back before it could register.

  “Hi, I’m your sister, Beatrice. Though I prefer Finley which is my middle name.”

  There was something kind and genuine about her. Over her shoulder, I spotted another guy hanging back in the opening, half-hidden by shadows. His hard gaze softened when it landed on Beatrice and hardened when he looked at me.

  “Shepard, come in. You’re a part of this family too,” Alice said.

  It turned out, he was August’s best friend, and due to circumstances they didn’t elaborate on, he lived with them.

  Loud voices stopped us all. I guessed it was August and his father. Both were missing.

  “Guys, can you give us a minute?” Alice asked with a wave of her hand.

  Cooper, Shepard, and Finley all nodded as one and disappeared up the grand staircase that curved around the backside of the foyer.

  Sawyer and I followed Alice deeper into the house where the voices got louder as we neared.

  “How many times have I told you, you aren’t going to that school?”

  The older man loomed just slightly taller than his son.

  “It’s my decision. Besides, Cooper and Bea are going.”

  “Jerry,” Alice said.

  Both guys turned to see us.

  The older man pointed at August’s chest. “We’re not done with this conversation.”

  August didn’t cower. He stalked from the room.

  Jerry turned his steely glare at me. “You must be Ashton.”

  When his hand extended, Sawyer stepped in. “I’m his best friend, Sawyer.” Sawyer was used to dominating fathers and didn’t flinch away from Jerry’s scrutiny.

  The man’s gazed narrowed on me.

  Alice seemed to understand and said, “Please, sit. I’m sure you have questions.”

  Once we were settled, I said, “Did you know about me?”

  She sat straighter. “Honey, no. If I did…” She ended the awkward pause with an unsurprising revelation. “My sister and I didn’t exactly keep in touch. In fact, I hadn’t spoken to her for years after she left home until…”

  “What my wife is trying to say is when we failed at getting pregnant, we contacted Victoria. Alice wanted the kids to be of her blood too.”

  Alice jumped in, her hands holding on to Jerry’s. “Since the problem was mine, I just thought it would be easier for the kids if they had a chance of looking like me or their father.”

  The idea Mother would help anyone but herself still caused me confusion.

  “Mother agreed?”

  “Not without a lot of bargaining and conditions,” Alice admitted.

  There was more, but my aunt, I guess that’s what I should call her, didn’t seem so eager to discuss.

  “She gave birth?” I asked.

  August was younger than I was.

  “No. She made it hard for the three cycles to work. And when they didn’t, she took her money and left.”

  None of this made sense other than Mother being greedy. This time I let silence prod her into saying more.

  “My sister wanted money, and I wanted a legal document so she wouldn’t come back later and try to change the rules before we started the process. As such, the three remaining fertilized embryos belonged to us. And with a final Hail Mary, I had them implanted in me, even though I’d been unable to carry a single child. But with the grace of God, all three survived.”

  I couldn’t say I understood what was involved in the process or their agreement with Mother, but I understood the last of it.

  “Does she know? Mother, that is.”

  “I don’t think so. She hasn’t come around,” my aunt said.

  “Be grateful for that,” I admitted. “How long have they known?”

  I waved gravelly toward the bay windows where lights spotlighted the pool my siblings were playing in.

  Jerry took over. “We never intended to keep the truth from them, but as time went on, it seemed less and less important for them to know.”

  “My name is listed as their mother on the birth certificate.”

  That was the most surprising thing they
’d said, though I had no idea how that worked.

  “When did you tell them?” I asked.

  Jerry said, “They saw you on SportsCenter. One of their friends commented on how you and August could be brothers.”

  I could imagine the uncomfortable conversation that followed.

  “We did a little research first because August was way too curious about you. He started following all your games,” Jerry said.

  “The trail eventually led to Victoria and you were her son. Something she failed to disclose when we reached out to her about helping us make a family. Now, Beatrice wants to meet her.”

  Triplets. I had siblings, and my first instinct was to protect them.

  I got to my feet. “You can’t ever let that happen.”

  Alice looked startled by my outburst.

  “My sister has always been money-hungry and a liar, but you’ve met August. My kids are nothing but persistent.”

  I didn’t sugarcoat it.

  “If she finds out, she’ll only use it against you,” I said, fists held tight at my sides.

  “I’ve kept tabs on her. She’s doing well. You should know that,” Alice said.

  The fact that she had meant she was just as wary about her estranged sister.

  “The house, everything belongs to me. She has nothing. Trust me when I say she’ll blackmail you or threaten to take the kids. You can’t let her know about them ever.”

  Alice had gone pale at the vehemence of my tone.

  “She wouldn’t. Would she?” I nodded, like their life depended on it. In a quieter voice, she asked, “What did she do to you?”

  My stomach contents went into reverse. Before I hurled, I said what I had to in order for her to understand. “She sold me for money.”

  Alice gasped, and I headed straight for the French doors that led out. Sawyer jumped in and filled in some of the gaps I left out. I was grateful for him and his presence. I couldn’t have done this without him.

  The air hit me like a heat balm. Still, I was grateful to feel. It was a reminder I wasn’t the robot Mother programmed me to be.

  Once I was sure I wouldn’t throw up, I headed to the only place shrouded in shadow. My brothers and sister hadn’t yet seen me, and I didn’t want to explain anything to them at that moment.

  But the darkness wasn’t empty. Shepard sat in a lounge chair with a guitar in his hands and his eyes on the fun being had in the pool.

  There was something in his expression I understood.

  “You’re in love with her,” I said.

  Questioning him was a respite from my tormented past.

  When he didn’t answer, I followed up with, “Does she know?”

  Heated eyes met mine. He didn’t want to talk about it.

  “What makes you think I love her?” he asked.

  Because I was well acquainted with that look of longing.

  “It’s obvious. You should tell her.”

  “And risk being kicked out. I have a good thing here. If her father knew, I’d be on the streets. You heard him. Besides, August would never forgive me.”

  It had come full circle for me. I understood why my very words had been hurled at me so many times.

  “I’m surprised no one has figured it out. The way you watch her—” I began.

  “I’m just looking out for her. If I can’t have her, I can make sure only the right guy does.”

  Sawyer came out and surveyed the pool. Then he did what I expected. He took a running leap, shouted cannonball, and jumped fully clothed into the water.

  It was times like this I envied him and the easy way he could talk to people. He made friends easily, and everyone loved him.

  That thought had me looking at my phone and seeing that I had missed texts and calls from Willow. One call had come before we’d driven to Texas. Remembering back, Sawyer had answered my phone. What had he said to her this time?

  49

  Willow

  * * *

  By the time I arrived home, Mom was beside herself with worry and fear.

  “Relax,” I said, with a hand on her shoulder to stop her from entering his domain.

  Dan sounded as surly as a bear waking from hibernation behind the closed door of his office.

  For the few hours I’d been home, he’d been in there the entire time.

  “He won’t tell me anything,” she said, biting her nails to the quick. “But I overheard them talking.”

  “What?” I asked, the fear in her eyes scared me.

  “He’s being charged with money laundering under RICO rules.”

  I didn’t know what RICO was, but I did the other.

  “Something about his involvement with a motorcycle gang, but that’s crazy.”

  She clawed at invisible pearls and the neckline of her shirt that had taken the beating.

  The door swung open, and Dan lumbered out. When his eyes landed on me, he muttered, “Great, another mouth to feed.”

  Mom wasn’t used to his dismissal of me and gaped as he shoved by us.

  “I can’t believe he said that.”

  She might not have, but I was used to Dan seeing me as someone he had to deal with because of Mom.

  “I need to talk to him,” she said, ready to follow.

  I shook my head. “I think you need to give him time.”

  She spun her head back to face me. “Time. We have little of it. We have no money, and the only food we’ll have to eat is in this house.”

  I blew out a quick breath. “I have money.”

  Mom’s features softened as her hair swung with the side to side movement of her head. “No, honey, I couldn’t ask you to do that. We’ll figure something out.”

  Truth was, with Mom not working, the money I had came from Dan.

  “It’s fine. You can pay me back,” I said, smoothing out the frown lines in her forehead.

  She nodded. “We don’t have to go today. I really need to find out what’s going on.”

  I let her go and decided it was time to call Celeste. As much as I didn’t want to worry her, she needed to know what was going on. I scurried to my childhood bedroom, not wanting to be overheard.

  The phone rang, and I muttered, “Come on, Celeste. Pick up.”

  But after another two rings, I was sent to voicemail. I left her a quick message, asking her to call.

  I didn’t let go of the phone. Ashton popped in my head. I remembered the first time I met him and the mask he’d worn with haunted eyes. Was I being too hard on him?

  He’d warned me he was fucked up, and all the evidence I’d witnessed before we got together proved that. Something bad had happened in his life that had profoundly affected him. Who was I to put pressure on him to be perfect when he’d told me he wasn’t? He’d never hurt me, not intentionally. In fact, since the moment we’d met, he’d gone out of his way to protect me.

  If I wanted things to work, I had to give him the benefit of the doubt and trust he had a very good reason for not calling.

  The phone vibrated in my hand as a text came through. My heart sank a little when I saw it wasn’t from Ashton.

  Celeste sent a text responding to my voicemail. I’d asked if she was okay, and her short message said she was. The only other thing she added was I know about Dad.

  She and her father were close. He must have called her. Since she hadn’t said more, maybe things weren’t as bad as Mom thought. Still, I sent her a message back asking her where she was. I didn’t get a reply. I worried, but there wasn’t much I could do if she didn’t tell me. I thought about the email she promised to send with her whereabouts, which she hadn’t done yet.

  When I left my room later, I heard raised voices behind Mom and Dan’s bedroom door. I scooted past, letting my growling stomach lead me to the kitchen to see how bad things were.

  The pantry was full and the fridge was bare. Though we weren’t in dire straights like Mom suggested, things like milk and eggs would be missed if we didn’t go to the store soon.

&nb
sp; My skills weren’t master chef level, but I knew enough to get by. I put on a pot of spaghetti and opened a jar of Ragu, which were well within my skill set. I also toasted bread, adding some garlic butter I hoped would lure Mom and Dan out of their room.

  I was stirring the sauce when vibrations sent my phone skittering across the quartz countertop.

  The screen read Ashton, which sent my heart making an attempt to free itself from my chest.

  “Hello.”

  His deep voice rasped over the airways. “Hey.”

  Although a barrage of accusatory questions lined up at the opening of my mouth, I managed to hold them back.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked instead.

  “Yeah.”

  His one-word answer was far from acceptable, yet I couldn’t seem to press him more.

  “I’m sorry I haven’t called sooner. Something came up,” he said.

  I could have laughed given the overwhelming understatement that was. When he didn’t explain, I asked, “Will you tell me what?”

  I gave myself points for not yelling. Having heard the screaming between Mom and Dan, I saw the fruitlessness in that. Neither could hear the other because they were both too mad to. I’d taken a different approach.

  “Yes, but not over the phone,” he said.

  It was a good answer, but an ominous one.

  The boiling water began to percolate over the sides.

  “Oh,” I said, cradling the phone between my shoulder and ear while I reached over to turn down the heat.

  He took my response as aimed at him. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell you. It’s complicated.”

  “Okay.” I exhaled and breathed in a lungful of heated air from the stove. “I guess you’ll tell me when I see you next. With everything going on, I won’t be able to go to London with you.”

  That meant it wouldn’t be until after spring semester started that I could see him.

  “Are your parents okay?”

  I gave him a basic rundown, leaving out the nature of my stepdad’s charges.

  “Things aren’t great, but we’ll survive.” I laughed then. “Christmas should be interesting.”

  My bank account wasn’t bursting. The spending money Dan had given me for school wasn’t a lot, and I’d never asked for more. As much as Mom wanted him to be, he wasn’t my dad and never acted like it.