by Ben Musgrave
DEREK
Lydia?
VINCENT
Yes, Lydia.
DEREK
No.
VINCENT
Are you in love with her?
DEREK
No!
VINCENT
Would you like to hold her hand?
DEREK
Vince!
VINCENT
Give her little feather-kisses.
DEREK
Shut up!
VINCENT
And read her poetry?
DEREK
No!
VINCENT
Read her poetry and then take her into that caravan, and try to
VINCENT pushes DEREK hard, against the side of the caravan, then pins him there.
Find a way in.
VINCENT pushes his hand up DEREK’s face, smearing his nose.
DEREK
Get off!
VINCENT
(Forcing against DEREK.) Try and pop / your
DEREK
Getoff / Vince!
VINCENT
Try and pop your little chap in!
Beat. VINCENT lets DEREK go.
I’m really sorry, Derek, that was inappropriate.
Pause.
I’m sorry, I really am.
DEREK
Are you alright, mate?
VINCENT
Yeah.
DEREK
Is it your dad?
How are you feeling?
VINCENT
Oh fuck off, Derek.
Just fuck off.
LYDIA enters.
LYDIA
Hi.
DEREK
Hi.
VINCENT
Your man’s been beating back the path.
DEREK
Should be able to get down, now.
LYDIA goes over to the path and looks down to the sea.
LYDIA
It must have been a lot of work!
DEREK
It needed doing.
Beat.
I was thinking of having a swim.
LYDIA
I don’t have my kit.
DEREK
Another time, perhaps?
VINCENT
(To LYDIA.) I’ve got something for you, as it happens.
Pause. He gets out a brown paper bag containing some weed.
It’s sweet.
LYDIA
Yeah?
VINCENT
Like you.
LYDIA smiles, shaking her head – ‘that old one’.
(To DEREK.) Can we go inside the caravan?
Do you mind, Derek?
DEREK
Not at all.
VINCENT
Are you sure?
DEREK
Let me just clear some things.
VINCENT
Don’t trouble yourself, mate.
DEREK goes in. VINCENT turns to LYDIA.
VINCENT
He’s tidying away his writing.
LYDIA
I’m sorry?
VINCENT
He does his writing in there.
LYDIA
Oh!
DEREK
(Popping his head round the door.) What?
VINCENT
I was saying you do your writing in there.
DEREK
(Embarrassed.) Not really.
VINCENT
Nothing to be embarrassed about!
LYDIA
What writing do you do, Derek?
DEREK
(Embarrassed.) Do you want the light on?
LYDIA
No / it’s fine.
DEREK
I’ll put it on.
DEREK goes back in, and turns the light on.
Pause. He comes out.
It’s ready.
VINCENT goes inside. LYDIA goes to the door.
LYDIA
(Of the weed.) Come and join us, Derek?
Pause. DEREK outside.
DEREK
No I’m okay.
VINCENT
(From inside.) Derek, we might be some time!
DEREK and LYDIA.
DEREK
I need to get back, anyway.
Do the tea.
Maybe I’ll see you soon?
Pause.
LYDIA
Yeah, we should…
DEREK
I could show you the pools.
LYDIA
(Heartbreakingly non-committal.) Sure.
DEREK
I can do most times.
LYDIA
Okay.
Pause. DEREK has prewritten his number on a piece of paper. He gives it to her.
DEREK
This is my number, if you need anything.
She takes it. Smiles.
I’ll see you around, anyway.
LYDIA
Yeah.
Pause.
DEREK
Have a good night.
Pause.
LYDIA
Have a good night, Derek.
She goes into the caravan. Pause. The sun.
The sea. The sound of it. DEREK exits.
Scene Four
A Meditation
In the darkness, a recording: the voice of the OLD LADY. A meditation.
OLD LADY
I’ve got my heart.
I’ve got my heart.
I’ve got my blood.
I’ve got my blood.
I’ve got my wings.
I’ve seen the way.
I’m going to be born.
I’m going to be born any day.
Any day this search will be over.
Any day I’ll find you.
And take you home.
Scene Five
Seeing
A few days later.
By the caravan. Dusk.
LYDIA enters, from the path, anxious that she’s been followed. She looks around. She knocks on the door of the caravan. Nobody answers. So she goes in. She turns the light on. Now she can be seen through one of the windows.
DEREK enters from the track.
LYDIA unbuttons her blouse.
There is a dark mark on her belly.
She examines it. She feels the burden of something. She quickly buttons up again.
DEREK sees everything.
Then, fiddling in her bag, LYDIA takes out a little syringe kit. She loads a syringe from a little medical bottle. Then she injects herself with the syringe. She does this quite briskly, professionally.
DEREK is riveted.
LYDIA holds some cotton wool to her arm, then closes her eyes. Then she gets up, clears away.
DEREK hides.
She opens up the caravan door and steps out.
She stretches, like a dancer. Some steps.
At the mouth of the path she takes a moment to take in this world.
Then she walks down the track.
When she has gone, DEREK goes closer to the caravan. He takes the blooded handkerchief out of his notebook.
He looks at it, fearful, awestruck – like it has all the power in the universe.
Scene Six
Derek Knows
By the caravan. A grey morning.
DEREK and LYDIA.
DEREK
Thanks for coming
LYDIA
Sorry I
DEREK
Thank you.
LYDIA
(A little briskly.) I can’t stay that long.
DEREK
Sure.
LYDIA
I’m sorry I didn’t call.
DEREK
Don’t worry about that.
LYDIA
It’s been really busy.
DEREK
I know…
Finding your feet.
LYDIA
Yes.
Pause.
DEREK
Lydia… there’s something I have to say to you.
Pause.
(Getting the wrong end of the stick.) Derek, I think you’re really / sweet
DEREK
No, you misunderstand / me.
LYDIA
Really, I think you’re lovely, / but
DEREK
Please listen to / me.
LYDIA
I’m not sure / that.
DEREK
No, I understand.
LYDIA
I’m not really in a / place…
DEREK
That wasn’t why…
Lydia, I want you to know that you can trust me.
Pause.
LYDIA
What are you talking about?
DEREK
I can help you, Lydia.
LYDIA
To what?
DEREK
If you need it.
LYDIA
I don’t know what you mean.
DEREK
I was walking here last night.
And the…
The light was on. In the caravan.
Pause.
And I saw you.
Pause.
With the needle.
Pause.
There’s a new shot, isn’t there?
LYDIA
What do you mean?
DEREK
I read that they’re trialling a new drug.
LYDIA
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
DEREK
And I saw the mark.
LYDIA
You were watching me?
DEREK
I was just there.
LYDIA
You were watching me?
DEREK
I was in the wrong / place.
LYDIA
You can’t watch me!
DEREK
At the wrong time.
LYDIA
It’s nothing!
DEREK
I’m so sorry.
LYDIA
(Desperate.) It’s nothing! It wasn’t that!
DEREK
My heart goes out to / you
LYDIA
No, no, no!
DEREK
If there’s anything I can do.
LYDIA
You don’t know what you’re saying!
You don’t know.
DEREK
Please.
LYDIA
Little fucking
Fucking nothing.
Creep.
She screws herself up, the ugliness of her anger.
Get away from me! Get away!
Beat.
He starts to stumble off, but she suddenly struggles.
He hears.
He turns round.
LYDIA
(Struggles.) Oh shit.
She closes her eyes, feeling like she will faint.
DEREK turns back.
DEREK
Are you okay?
LYDIA
Just go!
Pause. DEREK doesn’t know what to do. She starts to crumple.
DEREK
Can I help you?
LYDIA
No.
DEREK
Please sit.
She sits.
It’s okay.
It’ll be okay.
Pause. DEREK goes to give her a bottle of water from his bag.
She drinks it, without her lips touching the rim.
LYDIA
My lips haven’t touched it.
DEREK
It’s okay.
Pause. DEREK tries to approach.
LYDIA
Don’t come close.
DEREK
Why not?
LYDIA
You could die.
DEREK
I won’t die.
Pause.
LYDIA
Was it obvious?
DEREK
No.
LYDIA
It isn’t obvious!
DEREK
I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Pause.
You don’t have to be friends with me.
You don’t have to see me.
But I just want you to know you can trust me.
I’ll be your excuse, if you need one.
I’ll be your lookout.
I won’t ask for anything.
I won’t breathe a word!
Pause. LYDIA looks at him. He smiles.
Pause. The sound of the sea.
It’s high tide now.
Everything’s washed away.
Forgotten.
LYDIA suddenly struggles.
It’ll be okay, don’t you worry.
You’ll be as right as rain.
LYDIA rallies.
LYDIA
Do you have any food?
DEREK runs inside the caravan and comes out with an apple and a chocolate bar.
He hands her the apple, and then:
DEREK
Chocolate.
Pause. LYDIA eats.
Is it okay?
She’s stronger now.
Are you feeling any better?
LYDIA
I can control it.
With my shot
If I’m lucky I might live for ages.
I might live to be old.
It doesn’t matter at all on a day-to-day – (Of whatever is inside her body.) It doesn’t wake up!
It’s sleeping.
I ignore it.
It doesn’t concern me.
You can’t get it from just touching me.
You could touch me now and you’d never get it.
And not through
Not through
Kissing.
The medication… suppresses it.
I’m not contagious any more.
And I’m so careful
The idea of passing it / on
DEREK
You don’t need / to
LYDIA
I want you to know that.
Pause.
I went… to the pub… with Vince.
There was this guy.
He was doing a speech.
He was so clever.
You could see his eyes dart around the room.
Every time he looked at you:
‘Is he one?’ ‘Is she one?’
He looked at me, and he knew.
DEREK
He couldn’t.
LYDIA
I don’t know how but he did.
You saw my mark?
It’s horrible.
DEREK
No.
LYDIA
It’s foul.
DEREK
It’s just a mark.
Pause.
LYDIA
(The nightmare looming again.) I can’t do it again.
I can’t.
Pause.
Last time, I had to move, when they found out. In Sussex.