Southern Zombies Three Book Box Set: A Story of Survival, Southern Hospitality, and Southern Blood

by Ann Riley

  Bobby gets out of the door and starts to the truck. Another shot rings out. Diane at it again, obviously.

  “What?” She asks.

  I ignore her and tell Bobby to speed it up or I would run his ass over myself. He starts moving after that. He gets in the truck and has a hanger-on. He starts swinging.

  “Catch. Take a swing.” I tell him.

  And he swings. He takes out two in one swing and sends them rolling across the concrete. He climbs in and Diane asks about anyone else coming for sure and he tells her no. At this point Diane is having to take shots to clear us a way out. I hand my rifle back to Bobby so he can take some shots and we can get the hell out of here. They get the path cleared out for us and we get out of the parking lot. There seems to be more zombies moving around now than when we got here. Are more people turning?

  We stop at the convenience store we stopped at on the way in. I get out and Bobby comes over to me and hugs me. Riley is so happy to see him, he just pees all over himself.

  He asks what the hell is going on. So I start telling him what I have heard on the news about the outbreak and how it started. I tell him how it started at our home and how Riley and I got out and went to Diane’s house. And I tell him we will be going to her home when we leave here as our neighborhood was over run when we left home. I tell him about our trip, finding Janice and getting here to him.

  “I think maybe that some are immune to the parasite and virus.” I tell him.

  “Why do you think that?” He asks.

  “Well, we are not sick. No, we didn’t get the flu shot, but Diane was scratched and I pumped her full of antibiotics. She was sick with fever, but she pulled through it. She isn’t showing any signs or symptoms of being sick now so maybe some have an immunity to it. I don’t know. But I do know this whole thing is crazy as hell. How could this have happened?” I ask.

  “This is a total fuck fest.” Bobby says.

  “You don’t say.” Diane says. Then she hugs Bobby.

  “Thank you for coming.” He tells her.

  “Well, I couldn’t have left you here. I would have never had another moment of peace and I would have had to kick your wife’s ass if she came alone and got killed.” Diane says.

  “First, how are you going to kick my ass if I got killed first?” I ask.

  She ignores me.

  “So what will we do?” Bobby asks.

  “We are going to Diane’s home. Marc and Trey are busy getting electric fencing up around the houses. She has food canned everywhere. Marc hunts, so there is food. You can start hunting with him and we can eat. Becky is getting things moved around and making room. I would guess Tammy and her family and Kelley and her family will make their way there too. We will be fine.” I tell him.

  I get on the radio and call Marc. He is happy to hear we are ok and coming home. Marc tells Bobby, “Hey man, drive my truck. Your wife has beat the hell out of it for 5 days. I don’t know if I want to see it or not when it comes back.”

  “Oh well, that’s really rich Marc. Next time how about I will stop and invite a few riders in and stink it up a little. Or how about I let them smear their……. goo all over it on the way home. Oh, or better yet, how about I see if I can push this post over before we leave. I don’t think your truck has enough power to do it, but hey, I will try like hell to. It may be fun.” I tell him.

  “Yeah man, I will take over driving.” Bobby says.

  “Oh goody. Well, you will need new brakes now nephew as your Uncle Bobby likes to slam on the brakes at every stop.” I say.

  “Can we go now?” Diane asks.

  “Yep, let’s hit the highway. I hope it doesn’t take five days to get back home. On our way back Marc. We will keep in touch.” I say.

  “Fine. When y’all get back, I got some ideas in the making. We need to all talk about what is going on and how we are going to make it through all this shit. We will need a way to trade things we have for things we don’t have and I been talking to a few people around here and I have taken out some zombies for a few people that were either scared to do it or didn’t have the weapons to do it. Trey and I take turns watching and checking the perimeter and the edge of the woods on the Pioneer. Well, I think Trey is fooling around most of the time, but he has been good at helping. So I will discuss that when y’all come back and see what you think.” Marc says.

  “Ok” Bobby tells him.

  Chapter 13

  We are on the highway and it looks to be more cars than when we came through. It looks like things are getting worse. There are wrecks all over. It takes time to get around all the cars sitting around.

  We look out to the right towards a light copse of trees and see about 300-400 zombies walking around.

  “Holy hell.” I say.

  “What are they doing?” Diane asks.

  “Waiting for food?” Bobby tells her.

  We make it back thorough South Carolina and Alabama in 2 days. We took turns driving. We have crossed the Mississippi line and are about an hour and a half away from home.

  “There are no people anywhere.” Bobby says.

  “Maybe they are locked in a house or something. Hiding maybe. I hope they would be anyway.” I tell him.

  Diane takes a nap and I am driving. Marc is going to love to see me driving when we get back home.

  Almost home, and shit happens.

  Five miles from Marc’s home, we run into a shitload of zombies surrounding a big barn. We stop on the highway and listen and you can hear horses and other animals in the barn.

  “We can’t leave them in there. They will be lunch for the ass hats at the door.” I say.

  “What do you suggest?” Bobby asks.

  “Well, since Marc is mad about his truck anyway, I am going to try to get to the back of the barn. It doesn’t look too steady so I hope we can pull the back corner wall down. Then we can get the animals out and they will at least have a chance to run.” I say.

  I drive around to the back of the barn while Diane watches for stragglers to follow us around and takes them out. I swear she was an assassin in a previous life.

  I jump out and hook Marc’s winch to a couple of planks on the barn wall. I turn it on and wait for the wall to fall or the whole barn too since it looks so shaky. The wall starts bending out like it is going to break. I get back in the truck to avoid getting a big ass splinter shoved through me in case the planks break in half. And it falls. The whole back wall falls. Animals start running out. And yes, zombies come around the corner when the noise gets their attention.

  Bobby gets in to drive and I get in the back with Diane. We start shooting. Trying to cut a pathway out. Bobby heads toward the front where, right in the opening we came in through, is now packed full of eaters.

  “Stop the truck.” I tell him.

  “What the hell for?” he asks.

  “We have to get some of these out of the way. We can’t run them over.” I tell him.

  So, Bobby stops, not happily I might add.

  I make Janice get up in the back with Diane and me and show her how to use the Taser I got. I let her know that she should not fire it unless there is one close enough that looks like it is coming into the truck with us. We will probably all get eaten now. If we do, I will kick her ass for not listening to me.

  Diane and I start firing again and get a clear path.

  “Floor it.” I tell Bobby.

  “They are still a few there in the way.” He says.

  “I don’t give a damn, floor it. Marc can kiss my ass about his truck.” I tell Bobby.

  He floors it and takes out three zombies. Well, I should say the passenger side mirror takes one out. Well, now it matches the driver’s side mirror. May as well fuck it up good since I am getting my ass chewed anyway.

  And we are screaming down the highway at a mind-blowing twenty-five miles per hour. Fast enough to stay ahead of the zombies and slow enough to dodge any in the front of us.

  I get on the radio and call Marc.
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br />   “Coming in hot.” I tell him.

  “How many?” He asks.

  “I’m glad you know what coming in hot means because your mom didn’t.” I tell him.

  “How damn many?” He asks.

  “Sorry. About twelve.” I say.

  “Trey is heading for the gate.” Marc says.

  “Tell him don’t shoot us or I’ll be really pissed off.” I say.

  I hear Marc yell to Trey in the background to go meet his crazy ass folks at the gate. I like his nerve. He does realize he is Trey’s folks too don’t he?

  Trey is there at the gate. That little red headed boy. I’m so happy to see him I start yelling at him to shoot their asses. He obliges me. Marc makes it up to the gate where he gets us through and Trey continues to shoot. Diane gets in the back and gives him some help on the firing.

  We get up to the house and get the hugs and mushies out of the way.

  “I do not understand how in the hell you banged this truck up so bad.” Marc says.

  “Hey smart ass. You go out there and see how long you can keep a dent out of it. Not a fun thing to do.” I tell him.

  “Well, what the hell happened to the mirrors?” he asks.

  “Um.” I have nothing.

  I could have told him Bobby got the last mirror knocked off, but I wouldn’t want anyone else to be on Marc’s shit list.

  We get in the house. And Marc goes over the ideas he has been approached with since we been gone.

  “So, people are coming to me when they need zombies killed. I told them I can’t kill them all. But mostly they want someone to help them get their homes set up for defending. Trey and I have been taking turns going around and helping out. There has also been some talk of people trading things we may need for help. Since money doesn’t mean shit anymore, we can use other things such as weapons, cars, and other items we may need. We don’t know how long this will go on, or if it will ever end. But we need to prepare for the worst right now. I think we got most of the neighbors set up now, but people from farther away have been sending word this way for help.” Marc says.

  “Like how far?” Bobby asks.

  “Under a hundred miles. We won’t be going across the states.” Marc tells him.

  “Well, what do you think?” Bobby asks.

  “I think we can do this. We also need to drive back a few miles to find those animals we let out of the barn.” I say.

  “Ok, Trey and I will do that. Y’all get settled in. Becky has food ready. Go eat, rest and when everyone gets up and ready, we will get started on planning our aiding and rescuing ideas. Tammy, Kelley and their families are on the way over. They should be here in the next hour. They have been overrun.” Marc says.

  “Great.” I say.

  Tammy and Kelley are Diane’s daughters.

  Tammy has three kids and a husband. Kelley has one kid. So this will be a full house. At least Tammy is a nurse, so we will have medical attention and Kelley likes to cook. Sure, she likes to cook food that you would find on an expensive restaurant menu, but I am sure she will find a way to prepare a seven course meal from a deer quarter.

  Epilogue

  “I got word that a family on the edge of the Alabama line needs help. They are holed up in their storm shelter and have been there for about two days. They don’t have enough food and water to last much longer and need help. From what I am hearing, their house is still in good shape, but the doors and windows were broken and they were forced out.” Marc says.

  “When do we leave?” I ask.

  “I got everything ready to go for tomorrow. I plan on leaving at dawn. They are going to trade us some more guns and another Honda Pioneer for helping them. They apparently are, or were, well off and don’t care how much they have to come up with as payment.” Marc says.

  “Sounds good. I will get Bobby together and we will be ready to go.” I tell him.

  “Well I am a little anxious to see how it is out there now.” Marc says.

  “No, really, you’re not. It’s a mess out there like you could have never imagined. All the stories we heard all our lives and movies we saw doesn’t even start to describe it.” I tell him.

  “It is unbelievable.” I say.

  “So are we ready to try this? I mean are we prepared for what’s out there?” I ask Marc.

  “Only time will tell.” He replies.

  Southern Zombies 2

  Southern Hospitality

  Chapter 1

  I wake up to Riley staring at me with his nose up to mine. Why he can't just bark and wake me up, I will never know. You can always feel someone staring at you even if you are sleeping. I ask him if he needs to go "poopie". He immediately starts twisting and wagging his tail. I look over and see Bobby still sleeping. I will leave him alone since he had an adventure before we went to Virginia and got him.

  "Good morning everyone." I say when I get to the kitchen.

  Diane is there cooking breakfast.

  I hear a bunch of mumbles of "good morning."

  Tammy is at the counter cleaning a wound on Trey.

  "What happened to you?" I ask Trey.

  He smiles, so instantly I know this will be a story of either epic proportions, or one of crazy proportions.

  "I run the Pioneer into the pond. And when it hit the water, it threw me over the steering wheel and into a log." Trey says.

  I just look at him.

  "So, we have zombies, and are trying to survive and you, meanwhile, are trying to find ways to kill yourself?" I ask him.

  He snorts out a "whatever."

  Tammy is our family nurse. Since this shit hit, medical professionals are hard to come by. She is also Diane's youngest daughter.

  Kelley, Diane's oldest daughter is in the kitchen helping Diane with breakfast.

  I walk over to see what they are cooking. With Kelley, you never know.

  “What you are cooking there?” I ask Kelley.

  “Deer tenderloin smothered in gravy with Peruvian Pepper and curry leaf.” She tells me.

  “Where the hell do you get these recipes and herbs?” I ask Kelley.

  “I grow them.” she says.

  Well that shut me up. Who would ever think to grow herbs that no one has heard of? Sure, I have heard of curry but what is Peruvian Pepper? Is it hot? Am I going to have to drink a whole gallon of tea to get the burn out of my throat and sinuses? Can we keep Kelley away from the cooking area? I doubt it.

  Marc comes in and asks where Bobby is.

  “Still sleeping.” I say.

  “Well, I have the truck loaded and all the supplies packed up. Is he still coming with me?” Marc asks.

  “He said he was. I will wake him.” I say.

  As I am going to wake Bobby, I hear Marc ask Kelley, “What the hell is that?”

  I guess he saw her new culinary dish.

  I wake Bobby up and tell him Marc is ready.

  “Are you ready for this trip?” I ask Bobby.

  “Yeah, I hope we go there and get everyone back in their home safely.” He says.

  “Who all is going with us?” Bobby asks.

  “Diane, myself, Trey, you and Marc.” I tell him.

  “Is there room?” He asks.

  “Yes, king cab remember.” I tell him.

  We go back to the kitchen where everyone is enjoying breakfast now and let Marc know we are ready. Diane, again has packed up enough supplies to last forever. At least she left the toaster oven this time. Tammy has packed us some first aid kits and medicines. Kelley packed us some of her…. Whatever she calls it… deer tenderloin to eat later.

  “Y’all ready?” Marc asks.

  We say yeah.

  Becky tells Marc to be careful and if he gets hurt while he is gone, she will kick his ass when he comes home. She tells Trey the same and to watch his daddy. Now, this is going to be like the blind leading the blind. By that I mean that Trey is just like his daddy. How can someone watch someone else when they are just as dangerous as the person they ar
e watching out for?

  Finally, we are in the truck and heading out. Marc driving, Bobby in passenger seat, me, Trey and Diane in the back cab.

  Trey slides through the back window on the way to the end of the drive and shoots at some zombies. Marc yells at him to get his ass back in and sit down.

  On the way to the highway we need to get on, we see some of the horses Bobby, Diane and I set free when we came back from Virginia. Marc says we will get them home when we come back if they are still there. We may need them in the future.

  I would guess we have a couple of years before the gasoline supply starts to dwindle. Gas will evaporate out of tanks when left sitting for long periods. Maybe we can keep a supply at the “foxhole” if we get a tank to store it in.

  We make it to the highway and head toward Alabama. We will be going to a small town called Waterloo that is located on the north-western tip of the state right across the Mississippi/Alabama state line. It should be a drive of no more than a couple of hours. Right.

  On the way we see zombies everywhere. There are bodies along the highway and in the ditches. Cars are parked with the doors open as if people were trying to get away from the calamity going on around them. Most didn’t make it far. We have to drive slow through the traffic jam and try to dodge bodies and zombies at the same time.

  “This is unreal.” Marc says.

  “Yeah, we told you it was. Telling someone doesn’t do it justice though. You have to see for yourself.” I tell him.

  “I see.” He replied.

  We get about an hour away from the Alabama state line and we run right into a roadblock. Four cars and trucks blocking the lanes of the highway. Yes, again, another road block. What the hell is wrong with people?

  Marc slowly rolls up and stops. I tell him not go any closer. He asks me why. So I tell him of the experience Diane and I had with the roadblock when we were traveling. He just looks at me like I am crazy. We sit there and watch and a man gets out and yells “What are y’all doing here?”