by King, Jayna
“That’s the thing, Evelyn. This … thing … we have has been so easy, so right. I’ve never felt quite this way about anyone else, and I think it’s time.”
Evelyn was apprehensive. “Time for what?”
“Time for us to be honest and open about our relationship. I want everyone to know I’ve found the woman I love.”
It was as if his words had fallen onto the table between them. Evelyn looked from William, to her plate, to her wine glass, to the window. She felt trapped, excited, and emotional, all at once. He’d never said he loved her before. Evelyn hadn’t even really allowed herself to think about their official relationship status before. She’d wanted to keep things light and frivolous. She’d enjoyed their clandestine meetings, and she was afraid if everything were out in the open, William wouldn’t find her as appealing. Worse yet, she was afraid she wouldn’t find him as appealing.
She didn’t know what to say, so she said nothing.
William picked up both her hands, waiting until she made eye contact with him. “I know you’re afraid of going public. And I think you’re afraid of a commitment, though I’m not sure why. But I needed to tell you how I feel. I love you, Evelyn, and I want us to be together. There’s nothing to gain by continuing to lie to our parents, especially now that we know they’re getting married. We need to tell them.”
Evelyn finally found her tongue. “But what if it changes things?”
“What do you mean?”
“Will, I kinda like having a secret. Knowing that you’re going to be sleeping just down the hall turns me on a little. Thinking about finding ways to sneak off and fuck you while we’re under the same roof as our parents is just hot.”
“But there’s no reason why we can’t have hot sex even if people know we’re together. What are you really afraid of?”
“You’ve seen me around my mother, and you’ve seen me when we’re alone. I can’t really be myself around her, and somehow having you makes that okay. I don’t know. I can’t really explain it, but I don’t want things to change.”
“What if they changed for the better? Evelyn, I really think you’re being a little childish about your mother. You don’t give her enough credit. I think she’ll understand if you tell her you have goals different from hers.”
“Like the way your dad understands you?” Part of Evelyn knew changing the subject to William’s relationship with his dad was unfair, but she didn’t know what else to do.
“That’s totally different, and you know it. I was a fuckup a few years ago, and my dad just doesn’t understand that I’m not working as a line cook in a dead-end job. He knows fine dining, but he doesn’t believe I have what it takes to stick it out.”
“So, what you’re saying is he doesn’t respect you.”
“Quit it, Evelyn. I’m going to prove him wrong, but this has nothing to do with you and me, or even you and Ella.”
“I think it has everything to do with it.”
“Evelyn, I’m telling you I love you. I want us to be together. Is that so terrible?”
Evelyn stood up, flustered and frustrated. “I don’t know, Will. I can’t do this right now.”
“So what are you going to do? Just walk out?”
“That depends. Can you drop it?”
He shook his head and stood up, taking her face in his hands, just as he’d done in the shower not long before. “No. I can’t drop it. This is too important to me. You’re too important. I feel like if I don’t push you on this, you’ll just be content to leave things the way they are, and I want more.”
Evelyn stepped back, feeling like she was on the verge of a panic attack. “I have to go,” she said, knowing it wasn’t what William wanted to hear. “I need some time to think.”
William watched her gather her bag and clothes. “I’ll be here, Evelyn. You’re going to have to make your decisions, and so will I. I want you, but I won’t wait forever, and I won’t be your dirty little secret forever. I love you too much for that. I want more.”
Evelyn left the house without another word.
Chapter Four
“Evelyn. You awake?”
Ella’s voice outside her bedroom door pulled Evelyn from a delicious dream involving William, a deserted tropical beach, and the complete absence of all clothing.
“I am now.”
“Can I come in?”
“Of course.” Even though she was in bed, Evelyn reflexively reached up to smooth out her tangled hair. Her mother walked in, dressed in Ella’s version of casual attire—neat black pants, a simple green turtleneck, and a black cardigan.
“Good morning, sleepyhead.”
“Are you saying I’ve slept too late?” Evelyn knew she sounded bitchy.
“Well, it is nearly noon.”
Evelyn sat up straight. “Oh, my gosh, I had no idea it was that late.” She gave her mother a sheepish smile. “Sorry for the attitude.”
“No worries.” Ella’s warm smile let Evelyn relax a little. “I thought maybe we could have lunch together.”
Surprised, Evelyn smiled back. “I’d love to. I have some time before I settle in to study.”
“Perfect. Can you be ready in an hour?”
“Yup.”
Evelyn was buoyed by her mother’s mood, and she bounced into the kitchen in less than her allotted hour.
“Ready?”
Ella’s eyebrows lifted at the sight of her daughter in yoga pants and a close-fitted T-shirt. “I guess we’re going someplace casual?”
Evelyn sighed and resolved not to take offense. “Do I need to change?”
Ella considered the question. “No. What do you think about the Irish pub?”
“Perfect.”
Evelyn reached for her jacket, and stopped when Ella grabbed her outstretched arm.
“Where did you get that awful bruise? That looks just terrible!” Ella looked concerned.
Evelyn’s mind raced as she tried to think of a plausible explanation for the nasty bruise Lynda had given her the last time they’d sparred. “Um, I hit my arm on the armoire in one of the rooms I was cleaning at work. Someone had left it open, and I didn’t realize until I tried to walk by with my arms full of sheets and towels.”
“Well, you better make sure you keep that covered. People are likely to think you’ve been in a barroom brawl, by the looks of it.” Ella put her own jacket on. “It doesn’t look very ladylike.”
Evelyn seethed as she and her mother set out for the brisk walk to the pub roughly a mile away. According to Ella, there was no goal loftier than to be ladylike at all times. What would Ella have thought if she could have seen her daughter on the mat, grappling with another woman, sweating, punching, kicking? Ella had no idea, and she’d never understand, Evelyn decided. They finally arrived at the pub, pink-cheeked from the chilly wind off the lake.
“What do you think, Mom? Should we treat ourselves to mimosas?”
“Well, it is Sunday. I don’t suppose one could hurt.”
Evelyn concealed her surprise. It was out of character for Ella to drink during the day, but Evelyn decided she’d just enjoy the novelty without calling attention to it. Thinking back to her conversation with Lynda, Evelyn decided to test the waters.
“So, how long has this been going on with you and Malcolm?”
“Oh, off and on for nearly two years.”
“Really? I didn’t know it had been that long.”
“Well, we had to keep it quiet.” Ella sipped her mimosa. “That was the hardest part, I think. Having to keep secrets was very difficult.”
Evelyn felt her face flush. “But wasn’t it a little exciting, too?”
“A little at first, but once we knew we were really right for one another, the secrets made it feel wrong, somehow. It’s always best to be honest.”
“I can’t believe you were able to hide it for that long. I mean, I knew you were seeing one another, but I thought it was something casual.”
“Well, it’s not. I really love
him, Evelyn. And he respects and loves me.”
Evelyn got quiet.
“Is something wrong?” Ella asked.
“No. Not really.”
“You sure?”
“It’s just that I remember how wrecked you were after Dad died. You swore you’d never get married again. I just don’t want to see you that upset ever again.”
Ella smiled at her daughter. “You know, when I said that, I didn’t ever imagine I’d love another man as much as I did your father. That was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through.”
“So you’re going to go and get married again? Even though you know the risks?” Evelyn had a flash of hope that her mother might not be as committed to the idea of marrying Malcolm as she’d sounded.
“Absolutely. Evelyn, I love him, and he loves me. Yes, there are risks. But you can’t live your whole life avoiding true love just so you’re not sad when people pass away. It’s important to be true to yourself and your heart.”
Evelyn felt like she was talking to William again. “So you think people should be honest, even if they know people don’t necessarily want to hear the truth?”
Ella looked at her daughter with a puzzled expression. “Yes, of course.”
Evelyn shook her head, unable to believe her mother would really mean those words if she knew her daughter wanted to be a physical therapist, fuck the man who was about to be her stepbrother, and fight MMA.
“Is there something you want to tell me?” Ella asked.
Evelyn shook her head, too afraid to be honest. “Oh no. I didn’t mean me.”
“You like Malcolm, right?”
Evelyn nodded. “I don’t know him that well, but he seems nice.”
Ella’s smile lit up her face. “He is. He’s looking forward to getting to know you better, and he thinks it’s going to be fun for all four of us to live together.”
“Instant family, I guess.”
“Well, we have plenty of space. You won’t even have to share a bathroom.”
Evelyn thought about the previous evening in William’s shower, and she felt her face flush again.
“How do you feel about William moving in?” her mother asked.
“Um, I guess it’s fine.”
“I didn’t know you and he had been hanging out.” Ella waited for an explanation.
“Well, it’s not very often. It’s no big deal.”
Ella straightened up in her seat. “Do you always walk around in your underwear in front of him?”
“So that’s what this is about. I knew it.”
“What do you mean?”
“You just wanted to have lunch with me so you could chew me out for being unladylike.”
Ella put her hand on Evelyn’s arm. “That’s not true.”
“Yet, here you are, chiding me for walking around in my underwear.”
“Well, do you really think that’s appropriate?”
“That’s beside the point. Just when I think we’re going to have a real conversation, you start criticizing me.”
“I don’t think that’s fair.”
“And I’m tired of being told I always have to act like a lady.”
“Where is this hostility coming from? Is something wrong?”
“Yes, something’s wrong. You want me to be your perfect little clone, turned out in business suits and with an MBA.”
“What’s wrong with that? There’s a lot to be said for investing in your future and being successful.”
Evelyn stood up. “I’m done here. You think there’s one path to success, and there’s just not.”
“What on earth are you talking about?”
“There’s more to life than being polite and businesslike.”
“Well, of course there is.”
“But you don’t see that for me, do you?”
Ella held out her hands, palms up. “What do you want from me? I feel like you’re talking around something you should be saying out loud.”
Evelyn took a step toward the door. “I gotta go. I need some air.”
“Wait. Will you tell me what’s bothering you?”
“I can’t right now,” Evelyn explained. She saw the pain and frustration in her mother’s eyes and went back to kiss her on the cheek. “I’m sorry, Mom. I just have some things to sort through, and that’s not your fault.”
“Will you talk to me?”
“I will. I promise. Just not right now. I need to think.”
Ella let her daughter go and turned back to her mimosa.
When Evelyn got back out on the street, a cold drizzle had started, which picked up on her walk. By the time she got home, she was soaked to the skin. She went to her room and stripped out of her wet clothes, and once she was dry, she put on clean clothes and settled on her bed to study. The book was open in front of her, but she stared off into space. She picked up her phone, thinking about calling William, and set it right back down again.
Her psychology studying could wait. She needed to go to the gym.
An hour later, she was on the mat, sparring with Lynda. Evelyn had been afraid that everything she had on her mind would distract her, but she’d somehow managed to push everything away except the present moment. She felt more engaged, more focused than she ever had before.
The two women eyed one another warily, already having traded blows a few times. Lynda had been close to taking Evelyn down, but at the last moment, Evelyn had slipped the hold and managed to break free. Lynda came at Evelyn, raining punches and kicks at her midsection, but Evelyn managed to evade most of the hits. She stepped back, noting with pleasure that Lynda was breathing hard, and she took her opportunity.
She kicked low, knowing Lynda tended to favor her right knee that had been injured years before. While Lynda was occupied, Evelyn threw a punch Lynda never saw coming. Her fist slammed into the woman’s protective head guard, and Lynda stumbled backward, tripping and landing on the mat.
She slammed her palm on the mat twice. “I’m out, girl.”
The adrenaline coursing through Evelyn’s body made her want to continue, but she managed to bring herself back to earth and offer Lynda a hand.
“What got into you?” her friend asked as she got to her feet with Evelyn’s help. Both women spit out their mouth guards and stripped off their head guards. “You’ve never been that fierce.”
“I guess I just feel it today. I needed something physical to take my mind off some bullshit I’m dealing with.”
“Good Lord, you were awesome. That look in your eyes. Terrifying. It was like there was nothing else on the planet that concerned you.”
“Yeah. It felt good. You okay?”
“Oh, don’t patronize me. You may have gotten me to tap, but I can still kick your ass.”
Evelyn laughed until she caught sight of William watching her from across the room. Lynda turned to see what had caught Evelyn’s eye.
“My ego and I are going to hit the shower. I’ll let you and lover boy have some time together.”
Evelyn could feel William’s gaze on her as she walked toward him. She knew she was sweaty, but she also knew the sports bra and fitted shorts she wore showed off her work in the gym to perfection. “Hey,” she said as she approached.
“Hey, yourself.”
William’s eyes traveled down her body, and she knew he wanted her just as badly as she did him.
“You like what you see?”
“God, you know I do. What the hell was going on over there? I’ve never seen you fight like that.”
“I don’t know exactly. I kind of got into it with my mom, and I think I just needed to blow off some steam.” Evelyn laughed. “That’s the first time I’ve beaten Lynda. It felt good.”
“I bet it did. You and your mom okay?”
“We will be.”
William stepped a little closer and ran a finger down Evelyn’s sweaty arm. “I miss you.”
She laughed and shook her head. “It’s only been since yesterday.”
�
�I know, but I can’t stand that things aren’t settled between us.”
Chapter Five
Evelyn looked up into his eyes. “I don’t like it either. And I miss you too.” She lowered her voice. “I want you.”
“You busy tonight?”
“No. I have to study for Psych, but other than that I’m free.”
“Well, I got a little inside information. Seems my dad and your mom will be shacking up at some swanky hotel tonight.”
“What?” Evelyn was puzzled. “Why would they do that? It’s not like they have to sneak around any longer.”
“Dad said they’re going to check out a place that has an opening on their wedding date. They’re thinking about getting married there. It’s some little fancy bed and breakfast just north of town. Right on the lake.”
“Well, they didn’t leave themselves much time to plan a wedding, did they?”
“He said this place had a cancellation, so they’re going to see if it’s suitable.” William put a hand on her hip. “Which means you’ll have the house to yourself tonight.”
“I see where you’re going.” Evelyn stepped back. “But I can’t deal with you pushing me to let them know about us. I want to see you, but I can’t make any promises.”
“I’m fine with that. I thought about it after you left yesterday, and there’s no need to rush things.”
Evelyn let out the breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. “I’m so glad to hear that. I really do like you, Will, and I think I might even more than like you, but I need some time.”
“I’ll bring carryout, and you can have all the time you need.”
Evelyn looked at her mother and couldn’t remember when she’d looked more beautiful. Ella simply glowed, her watered silk ivory sheath dress skimming over her curves and providing the perfect contrast for Ella’s dark hair, twisted in an elegant chignon.
“Do you think the pearls are too much?” Ella sounded nervous.
“Mom, for the third time, they’re perfect. Grandmother would be thrilled you’re wearing them on your wedding day again.”
“And you don’t think the lipstick is too bright?”
Evelyn laughed. “You’re perfect, from head to toe. Malcolm’s liable to faint when he sees you.”