A Jar of Dreams

by Cartharn, Clarissa

  “Is everything alright, Anne?” the man asked as he gave Eric a threatening glare. “It’s me Jake Moreno from across the road.”

  Anne fiddled with her stick, fidgeting with her answer for a brief while.

  “Yes, thank you, Jake,” she said finally. “I am fine. Eric and I just had a minor disagreement, that’s all.”

  Jake browsed Eric again with his eyes. He shifted at his feet, reluctant to leave Anne with him.

  “Well… okay,” the man grumbled. “I’ll be going then. But if you need anything, Anne, just give me a yell.”

  “I will, Jake. Thank you again.”

  Eric watched the man amble back to his house, giving them the occasional glance on his way. Give him a yell? Eric reflected over the words with annoyance. This Jake was probably going to read the newspaper by the living room window just in case Anne did yell for him.

  “So… what is it that you wanted to say?” Anne said sharply, snapping him back to the present.

  “Anne, the reason I bought you these is-”

  “I don’t want your pity,” she cut him quickly.

  “Pity?” he repeated with bafflement. “What has this got to do with pity?”

  “No?” Anne asked firmly. “I barely know you, Eric.”

  “And yet you trusted me enough to walk you home yesterday. Why didn’t you call it pity then?”

  She stepped back with slight stun. “I… I…,” she stammered.

  “And when I asked you to show me about the town, did you pity me instead?” he continued.

  “That’s absurd!” she protested.

  “Is it? You sympathized with my loneliness. You felt sorry for me.”

  “That’s not true!” She stood shaking with anger. “You… can… see…”

  He stood quietly, clenching his fist as he tried to retain some calm. But she had made him angry too.

  “I… I paid for these because…” I like you… because I wish there was more to us than this. He stumbled for the right words. He didn’t want her thinking he was stalking her. It was too soon yet to reveal to her exactly how he felt. But he on the other hand, had waited fifteen years for this damned moment. “I’ve never shopped with a girl before and I really enjoyed it with you,” he blurted out at last.

  She fell silent, her body tensed and seemingly frozen.

  He watched her carefully. Was she afraid of him?

  “Why do you carry such a large wad of cash with you?” she asked slowly.

  She was suspicious of him. He took in a long, deep breath. He had always presumed women loved to be treated. Now he understood that he shouldn’t have acted so fast. Anne wasn’t like other women. She would naturally have deduced his actions multiple times as to why he thought she should be presented with over a thousand dollars work of gifts.

  He covered his face with his palms tiredly. “Because I’m moving to another town and I prefer using cash more than I do my card. I know it seems suspicious, but there are still old fashioned guys like me out there who prefer the feel of cash in their pockets than plastic.”

  “You said you’ve never shopped with a girl before. Are you telling me you’ve never had girlfriends?”

  “Female company,” he corrected. “I’ve had a lot of women friends. But not any close enough to have gone shopping with.”

  “You’re a Casanova?” She cocked her head with interest.

  “No,” he replied amusedly. “I’ve just never had the time to have a girlfriend. I was… busy with my career. I simply never found the time to invest in a relationship.”

  “You said you were a contractor.”

  “And I am,” he replied. He knew she had assumed that he was a building contractor and for some reason he let her continue to think that he was, partially easing the guilt he felt for lying to her. “Anne, believe me, I didn’t buy these for you because I pitied you. But if you think I’ve insulted you, then you can always pay me back the money.”

  She nodded, twisting her lips in thought.

  “Anne?” he asked again.

  She began walking on towards her house. “Can you help me cross to the other side?”

  “What about these purchases?”

  “They were a gift, right? As new friends?”

  “Uhhh… yes,” he said, arching an eyebrow, wondering where she was going with this discussion now.

  “Fine. As your new friend, I should treat you to a cup of coffee in return. It just occurred to me that I never invited you into my house.”

  He leaned back against the kitchen counter as he watched her grab two cups from the cupboard. He knew exactly what else was in it- a beautiful set of white plates, salad bowls and a tree of silverware. The kettle whistled with a gurgle of boiling water.

  “Two sugars?” she asked.

  “One, thank you,” he replied.

  She reached for the jar of sugar and deftly opened the lid. He wished he could have simply made them both their coffees. And even though he was well aware she could do more than just make coffee, he was beginning to long for her to depend on him more.

  “Aren’t you going to ask me something?” she said, breaking through the uneasy silence between them.

  He cleared his throat, feeling slightly uncomfortable. There was a lot he wanted to ask her, like who was the man she was looking forward to meet. Was he someone special to her? Did they share a history of being more than just friends?

  “Eric?” she asked him again.

  “No,” he replied.

  “Really?” She perked her lips unsurely. “Not even whether I lived alone or how I managed to feed myself without tripping over? People usually take a lot of interest in those matters when I tell them that I have a four bedroom house all to myself.”

  “Do you always invite strangers into your house?” he asked slowly.

  She lifted her head with a frown. “Is that concern I detect in your voice, Mr. Tanner?”

  He didn’t answer, looking up at her above his eyebrows. Each time she looked at him the way she did now, he couldn’t help but feel wary that she was possibly seeing him.

  “I can hardly call you a stranger now, Eric,” she said finally. “I thought you said we were friends.”

  “You hardly know me,” he muttered.

  “I think I’ve learned enough about you to trust you into my house.” She picked up his cup of coffee and handed it to him.

  He took it quietly, trying his best to avoid touching her delicate fingers. He wasn’t ready to touch her yet. His body was far too sensitive to her every move and he was afraid he’d grow numb if she even as grazed his fingers.

  “I could have put on an act,” he said stiffly. He closed his eyes, immediately regretting the inevitable tone in his voice. She was far too close to him for his own good. He could feel her breath on his arm, and the fragrance of her skin rose deliciously to his nose. It wasn’t the coffee he wanted. He needed more. His senses were aching to pull her into his arms so he could caress and crawl up the length of her to drink in her sweet scent.

  “And did you?”

  He bit his lower lip. “No.”

  She took a sip from her cup. “Then I have judged you correctly, have I not?”

  “I could have been a thief or a swindler.”

  “And are you?”

  “No.”

  She stepped back with a sigh. “Why are you so desperately trying to prove to me that I’ve made a mistake in letting you into my house?”

  He clasped the sides of his cup, feeling the warmth of the coffee penetrate into his hands. Why was he sabotaging his chances with her? Because he was afraid. He feared he would want more of this. And a man like him couldn’t have a life like this. He didn’t deserve to.

  “Eric,” she said. “It’s okay if you want to leave. I won’t force you to stay.”

  His body tensed. There, I’ve done it. I’ve got her to reject me. So why then does it hurt? Why do I want her to tell me to stay?

  “I’m just worried,” he said slowly. “I
’m sorry.”

  She smiled. “Let me ask you one thing. Aren’t ordinary people just as vulnerable to these con artists? Are they never hurt or robbed or swindled?”

  It’s you I care about, he thought as he sipped from his cup. “They are,” he said. “I hope you don’t mind. I can be stiflingly protective of people I care about. It wasn’t anything to do with your… eyes.”

  He hated to think she was anything but normal. He loved looking at her eyes. They were a beautiful shade of green, just like the jade teardrop pendant he carried in his wallet. He had fallen in love with it the moment he had seen it. He had wanted to believe he had bought it as a charm for attracting luck. But he knew now he had treasured it because it reminded him of her eyes.

  She lowered her eyes. “Thank you,” she said almost in a whisper.

  “For what?” he asked back, her response taking him by slight surprise. He had expected her to get offended and angry. He had been told more than often that his protective nature was sometimes overbearing and burdensome. He had actually braced himself for a boot out the door of her house.

  “For looking out for me,” she said. “It feels …nice.”

  “You must have people who care about you,” he said carefully, thinking of the overly protective governess she called Lucy.

  “I do.” She bit her lips and then turned away. “I think I’m just missing my friend, Lucy. She often visits me to help organize my stuff. Looks like I would have to elicit the help of twelve year old Megan from next door.”

  “What is it that you need? I could do it for you.”

  She laughed. “It’s women stuff, Eric. You wouldn’t want to be wasting your time matching my dresses and shoes for the party tomorrow, would you?”

  “I admit I am not an expert at such things, but I do know I love a good challenge.” He grinned. “Tell me what it is you want done.”

  She giggled. “Well, thankfully it won’t be too much of a problem now that I know what I will wear to the party. It’s the accessories you will need to help me out with.”

  “My work’s made half-easy then.” He chuckled. “Now guide me through the rest.”

  “I like these pearl studs,” he said. “They would match wonderfully with your dress.”

  “They’re a little too old school, Eric. I want something vibrant. Something that pops,” she described emphatically.

  “These studs are nice, cute and neat.” And safe, he thought. He didn’t want her looking popping and vibrant while he wasn’t around. She was already looking beautiful as she was.

  She grew quiet and he glanced up at her with concern when she didn’t rebut his suggestion like she had been doing for the past hour.

  “Anne, are you okay?” he asked. “I’ll find something better if you want.”

  “I just want you to know I don’t often let strangers into my house,” she started.

  He froze. She had returned to their discussion in the kitchen. Had he unsettled her again?

  “Anne, if I said something-”

  “No.” She shook her head. “You didn’t say anything. In fact, you said… did everything right. I took a chance when I invited you into my house. I was apprehensive as to whether I was doing the right thing. You see, I’ve never done this before. Invited a man, a stranger almost. I’m glad I did, Eric.”

  The corner of his lips rose slightly. He leaned down towards her, looking directly into her eyes. He was so close; he could feel her nervous breath on his face. The warmth of her body tingled his skin. She was so achingly close that he needed everything in his power to restrain himself from taking her in his arms.

  “Just don’t do it again,” he whispered. He tucked a cluster of her long golden tresses behind her ear. He let his fingers rest on her soft hair for a brief while as he mustered the courage to let them glide over the side of her face. He found none and straightened up again.

  She deserved better, he thought. I have no right to confuse her and involve her in my messed up life.

  CHAPTER 7

  She ran her hands over the dress Eric had hung up for her in her clothes rack. Her mind traced back to the moment he had leaned so close towards her that she felt as though he was going to kiss her. Her body had frozen and her heart had thumped so hard and loud she almost thought he would have heard it. She had been disappointed when he didn’t. Perhaps, she shouldn’t have anticipated more from him. Men bought dresses for friends too. They cared for them. They were protective of them. She shouldn’t have read too much into what he was doing for her.

  Boots purred, breaking into her troubled thoughts and forcing her back to the present.

  “Hello, my beautiful little ball of fur. Have I been ignoring you?” She picked him up and cradled him close to her breasts.

  The cat nestled itself comfortably in her arms and she stroked its soft, lithe body. Boots had always been her closest to a male friend. She revealed her most intimate thoughts to the animal which even Lucy didn’t know. And in her times of worry, the warmth of his body against her chest and his placid nature would often bring her momentary peace. But it was different today. For some reason, she felt lonely. She yearned for the warmth and love of a man.

  “I was wrong, Boots.” She sighed into the cat’s fur. “I shouldn’t have lost my temper with him. He was only trying to be nice when he bought me that dress.” The cat purred and she frowned. “But then again, it isn’t my fault entirely. He is after all the only man other than Dad to buy me something this beautiful and expensive.”

  She reached out to feel the fabric of the dress again.

  “Does it look nice? I will look beautiful in it, won’t I?”

  Boots stretched out his body and his claws dug into her skin. She quickly let him out of her arms before he could scratch her. She was going to a party tomorrow and she didn’t want to be covered in wounds.

  She strolled over to the windows, feeling the evening breeze drift through her windows.

  “It’s terribly lonely, Boots. I wish I could talk to someone… to him. I can’t believe I miss him already.”

  She pulled up her legs onto the window seat and tugged her knees close to her chest.

  “I really enjoyed spending the day out with him. And if it hadn’t been for my foul temper, I would have enjoyed it even more. Why would he do that though? Spend his day with me? And he loved shopping and then sorting out my stuff for the party.”

  She perked her head up and then giggled. “Perhaps, he isn’t into women. I suppose that is it, isn’t it, Boots? Why else would a handsome man like him want to while away the time with someone like me? He is rich. I mean he has money, right? Not every man can blow away more than a thousand dollars on gifts for a woman he barely knows.”

  The wind grazed her face, lifting her hair delicately off her shoulders.

  “I wonder where he lives. He’s just come into town. I hope he comes around again. Chances are he won’t. It kind of makes me jealous that he would find new friends because then he would forget about me.”

  She dropped her head in frustration.

  “I am so pathetic.” She closed her eyes. “Que sera sera, que sera sera sera,” she repeated softly to herself.

  He stood in her garden, looking up at her sitting by her window. This was becoming a terrible habit, he thought to himself. But he had gauged that she loved to spend some time by her window every night before she would turn in to bed. And that fact alone urged him to stand at the foot of her window in the hopes of seeing her again.

  Her skin looked radiant in the light of her bedroom. The breeze fluttered her hair lightly revealing the creamy curve of her neck. He imagined kissing her there, tasting her, caressing her flesh with his lips. Heat raged through his blood, stiffening his cock as visions of her moaning flooded through his mind.

  He shook himself back to reality.

  “She’s just a dream,” he muttered in the still of the night.

  Bats clouded the sky above him. In the distance, a dog wailed, sending a chill th
rough him. He pulled out the key for her house from his pocket and studied it in the dim light of her bedroom. He had managed to cut himself a copy while she had been busy with her fittings. And then later that evening after he had pretended to leave her house, he had snuck back in through her front door.

  He weighed the key in the palm of his hands. This was a temporary set-up, he reminded himself. He was going to move out of her house as soon as he could arrange something better. Something that wouldn’t involve putting her life at risk.

  He braced his neck with his hands tiredly as he turned to look up at the moon. It was bright and full, marking the start of a new month. They must be on the hunt for him. They would have ransacked his apartment for any clues and terrorized anyone he had been close to. Thankfully, there weren’t many. There was the Rudy, the burly bartender of Calypso Club who was regularly flanked by muscled guards and Owen, the night attendant at a local service station. Either would likely not be harassed for information on him. There was likelihood that Cavallo would know more about him than the two of them put together.

  He dwelled on Joe Cavallo for a while. Why had he turned on him? They had worked together for almost ten years and since his first job. Cavallo had been a key player to his success as a professional assassin. Cavallo had first learned about him when a mutual friend praised him for shooting partridges at a carnival while trying to impress some girls. He remembered how subtle Cavallo had been with his offer.

  “I needed someone for duck hunting,” he had said.

  “I doubt the season’s open,” Eric had replied drily.

  “Don’t worry, it will be. And you will be protected too. All you need to do is bring me the drake without any mess.”

  Eric had deliberated over the decision briefly. The money was good and the targets were a menace to society, he had thought. And one little nod had sealed the deal between them, changing his fate forever.

  She stepped out of the car, the scent of wisteria in her father’s driveway hitting her almost immediately.