Lost Avalon: A Finding Nolan Novel

by Thomas, K. S.

  “I’m not following anyone around, Lee. You know damn well this is my job.”

  “It’s a joke, Ava. What do you really know about managing a band as big as Finding Nolan? No offense to you, but everyone knows they should have signed with Braxton Management last year when they pitched the boys after the Grammys.”

  “What are you talking about? Mitch Braxton never pitched them.” It had to be a mistake. No way had Blaise or any of the guys ever entertained another offer. Not after everything I’d done for them.

  “He sure as shit did. They had a sit down with him and everything. Word was they were about to sign and then backed out at the last minute. Nobody seems to know why, but don’t kid yourself, sweetheart. Everyone, including your precious Blaise, knows they could do better than some twenty-three year old who isn’t qualified to manage the band’s social calendar, much less their careers.”

  I stumbled back until I found the couch with the back of my calves and fell down into it.

  “You’re an ass, Lee,” I hissed through clenched jaws. “Enjoy your next fucking show at the county fair. Maybe if your manager was half as qualified as I am, you would have graduated from playing redneck barbecues by now. So you can just fuck off. We’re done.”

  I hung up by throwing the phone across the bus. It hit the back wall with a loud smack and I was fairly confident that I had busted it.

  Unable to shake the conversation, I pulled my knees up to my chin and laid on the small couch curled up in the fetal position. I was biting into my knee caps trying to keep from crying, but it was useless. The tears were already falling.

  A knock on the door only added to my apparently ongoing humiliation. Thank God I had locked it. Still shaking, I got to my feet, wiped my eyes with the tips of my fingers to ensure minimal make up malfunctions, and then proceeded to open the door.

  It was Darrel, our main security guy.

  “Show just ended. Gary wants to know how long to hold the girls at bay before he lets them into the big room.”

  Like I fucking gave a shit. “Is the room stocked and ready?”

  He nodded.

  “Then he doesn’t have to wait. Just take them back there now and they can get started without the boys. We need to hurry this along tonight anyway.”

  “You got it, boss.”

  I laughed dryly. “Yeah, that’s me. I’m the boss.” Maybe I didn’t want to be anymore.

  ***

  “Hey Gary, where’s Ava?”

  He shrugged. “Don’t know. Haven’t seen her since before the show. Just sent Darrel to go find her.”

  “Thanks, man.” I gave him a quick pat on the back and hurried down the long corridor to my dressing room. She was probably sitting in there answering emails or some shit. That girl never stopped. Still, it was weird that she missed the show.

  I swung the door open fully prepared to give her a hard time about it only to find the room completely empty. Not only wasn’t she in there, it also didn’t look like she had been there at any point since she’d dropped in to check on me.

  “What the fuck?” I pulled out my phone and hit call. For some annoying reason she was always the first number on my call log. And it was always under outgoing. It spoke volumes for our relationship.

  “You’ve reached the phone of Ava Jennison –“ I stared at my phone not fully comprehending what was happening. My calls never went to voicemail. Not at four o’clock in the morning, not during her doctor’s appointments, never. Something was wrong. I was about to take off and go look for her myself, when the door came flying open and Ava came crashing in with it.

  “Ava –“

  The door slammed loudly behind her. She was fucking pissed about something. I hadn’t seen her look this crazy since I was thirteen and she’d told off the fucking neighbor for not minding her own goddamn business when she’d asked me fifty-thousand questions about my mother’s death two days after her funeral. Ava had always had my back, even then. So I kind of pitied the poor slob who was at the end of her wrath now.

  “MITCH FUCKING BRAXTON, BLAISE?!” Shit. It was me.

  She was coming at me with both hands, wailing down on my arms as I tried to block her. “MITCH FUCKING BRAXTON!”

  She got a clear shot and shoved me hard in the chest, throwing me back a few steps.

  “Ava, calm the fuck down!”

  “Fuck you! Don’t tell me what to do, you son of bitch! You backstabbing motherfucker! After everything I’ve done for you! Finding Nolan wouldn’t even exist if I hadn’t been there holding your hand every fucking step of the way.” She was coming at me a second time and I threw my hands up in surrender and willingly dropped down into the couch.

  “I know, Ava! I know! I’m sorry. Just calm down for a second and I’ll explain –“

  I was doing a shit job of trying to reign her back in. If anything I was just making things worse.

  “Now you want to explain? Now? Why not last year? Huh? Why not tell me after you had your little meeting with Mitch and his minions? Oh, or better yet, maybe BEFORE? But no! You didn’t tell me shit. I had to find out from Lee! Do you have any idea how fucking humiliating that was?”

  The second her fury faded I wished it would come back. Tenfold even, if it only meant I wouldn’t have to see the hurt in her eyes that was left behind.

  “Ava, please –“

  She shook her head, cutting me off again. “No. No more Blaise. No more excuses, no more apologies. I’m done. Some things you can’t fix with ‘I’m sorry’. Some things just stay broken.”

  She turned to leave and I was too stunned to stop her.

  “You boys need to find a new manager starting now. I quit.” And she was gone.

  Chapter 4

  I literally ran back to the bus trying to outrun my feelings, at least long enough until I was alone and out of sight of prying eyes. If I had expected Blaise to come after me, I would have been sorely disappointed. He had made no efforts to stop me, he certainly wasn’t making a mad dash to try and reach me now.

  I had known he wouldn’t. It wasn’t part of his protocol. That would have required taking some sort of responsibility for his actions, something he was incapable of doing. It was the only thing that tempted me to make my official resignation with each member of the band myself, since Blaise’s version of the story would likely paint a very different picture from what had actually transpired between us.

  But I didn’t have the energy required to go through the whole thing three more times. Sure, Blaise had been the worst offender. He was supposed to be my best friend. I was supposed to be able to trust him. Apparently our relationship had grown far more one sided than I’d allowed myself to see.

  Regardless, knowing that Royce, Derek and Angel had been willing to drop me just as easily, broke my heart. Worse, it made me feel like a complete jackass. Here I had stupidly thought we were a family of our own making. Thought we loved each other and respected each other as such. Stupidly assumed they would show me the same kind of loyalty I had always shown them. Clearly that had been too much to ask. Even Lee had been in on it.

  Strangely, his part in the betrayal left me the least fazed. Nor did I seem to be particularly torn up over the demise of our relationship. Well, what had I expected when I was regularly spending the night in Blaise’s arms and generally jumping through hoops to meet his every need? Would I really still have done that if I had been truly invested in my relationship with Lee? Especially knowing how much it had bothered him? Not likely.

  I tore through the bus like a mad woman on a mission, yanking my bag out from the cubby beneath my bed and throwing together my makeshift office area. I tossed everything into the teal messenger bag Blaise had given me for my last birthday. Asshole.

  I dumped everything out again, threw the bag across the room and started over with an empty pillowcase.

  Fifteen minutes later I was outside of the large arena catching a cab with the remaining concert goers still departing.

  “Can you tak
e me to the nearest airport please?”

  The guy turned around, a slight state of confusion collecting on his face. “Do you know where you’re flying out of?”

  “I’ll be flying out of wherever you take me. Please, I’m not picky. Anywhere with airplanes will do.”

  The guy nodded and returned his attention to the dash. Next thing I knew, we were traveling with the flow of traffic and putting more and more distance between myself and what had been my whole world for the last seven years.

  I had no idea what I would do now. Or even where I would go. Home I guess. Although, where was that really? I’d bought a house right before we went on tour, but it had been going through major renovations this whole time and was more than likely still a working construction zone. I had planned to crash at Blaise’s until it was finished, but that wasn’t really an option now.

  There was always my mother’s place. But she still lived in the same house on that same street…I wasn’t sure I was ready to go and face those ghosts of my past either.

  By the time I reached the airport I was no closer to figuring things out than I had been when I stormed out of the tour bus with everything I owned. Still, I paid the cabby, left him a generous tip for pretending he hadn’t heard me sobbing to myself in the backseat and then marched onward into the terminal.

  Maybe I’d just take off. Go see the world. Why not? I had the money to. I could hear Blaise in the back of my mind balking at me for running away, but suddenly it was a lot easier to tell him to shut up.

  So, I wandered to the ticket counters and waited for something to jump out at me.

  Alaska. Too cold. Definitely a pass.

  Ireland. I could go for some luck. Maybe. Wait…wasn’t it Ireland where they always had sheep blocking the roads in the movies? Maybe better not. Sheep aren’t my thing.

  Mexico. Beaches, but way too trendy. No.

  Tahiti. Sandy white beaches and clear blue waters with an overwater bungalow? Yes please!

  Without giving it a second thought, I went and got in line along with the other happy people. Obviously they were happy. Look at where they were going. I could even feel my own smile creeping in. It felt good. Felt new. Not surprisingly so. I couldn’t remember the last time I had made an entirely selfish decision. I would have to remember to do it more often.

  Finally it was my turn.

  “Destination and photo ID please.” The woman behind the counter was so stuck in going through the motions she hadn’t even looked up. She’d simply held up her hand and waited for me to hand over my paperwork. She didn’t appear to be nearly as happy as everyone else, but then she probably wasn’t going to get to go to Tahiti, or any other tropical island for that matter.

  “Um, I actually don’t have a ticket yet. But I’d like to purchase one please.”

  At last she lifted her head. Considering every five year old could now book a trip around the world via the internet, she probably hadn’t sold a ticket to a customer directly in a long time.

  “Okay. When and where would you like to go?” Her finger tips were already in place just hovering over the keyboard ready to attack.

  “Um, whenever you have something available and wherever it’s nice. Oh, I do want to be able to stay in one of those little huts like in the picture though, so, wherever they have those, please.” I was pointing at the banner behind her. I felt silly, but then that banner had been a deciding factor so I did want to make sure that I wound up standing in it by the time I got to where I was going.

  The woman studied me for a moment and then. “Runaway bride?”

  “I’m sorry?”

  “It’s just, the only time I get young women up here making your kind of requests it’s usually right after they left some poor schmuck standing at the altar.”

  I was surprised to hear myself laugh out loud. “No, no altar. Although I did leave a poor schmuck if that helps.”

  She smiled kindly. “I have a flight to Bora Bora. Doesn’t leave for nearly seven hours though.”

  “That’s perfect. I’ll take it. Thank you.” I slid my credit card across the counter along with my passport.

  She took both. “Will you be wanting a return flight?”

  “No thanks.”

  “I didn’t think so.” She winked at me and got busy typing up my information.

  A short while later I had my ticket in hand and was passing through the security check. One near strip search later and I was on the other side making my way toward the departure gate.

  Since I had plenty of time to kill, I bought a coffee and set myself up in my own little nook using a corner where the wall and the floor to ceiling window came together.

  Comfortably propped up against what little luggage I had, I sat on the floor and pulled my laptop out of its pillow case, resting it on my legs. It felt strange. Before I would have had a gazillion different things to keep me busy. Now, I was left with aimlessly searching the internet. When I got bored with that, I pulled up Amazon and started browsing their vast selection of eBooks. After One-clicking on at least ten of them, I went to dig out my phone. I had downloaded the Kindle app on it once upon a time and never used it. Now seemed like the perfect time to try it out. Except I didn’t have my phone anymore.

  “Shit.” I had already forgotten that I’d smashed it earlier. For all I knew it was still lying on the floor exactly where it had landed after hitting the wall.

  It was just as well. At least this way Blaise wouldn’t be able to get through if he tried to call me. Better yet, I wouldn’t know if he didn’t.

  With no other alternatives, I downloaded the same app to my computer and began reading there. I was about three chapters in on what might very well have been the best book in the world, if only I had been able to concentrate on it long enough to absorb any of the story, when my compute softly jingled at me and the little blue Skype bubble popped up on my screen.

  It was Royce. And that was weird.

  I hit answer before I could remind myself that I was pissed off at him, too.

  “Hello?”

  “Ava, where are you guys?” I could tell from the video that he was back on the bus.

  “I take it Blaise hasn’t talked to you boys yet?” Of course not.

  “Talked to us about what? No one has seen him since we left the stage. How come you guys never showed for the after party?” Royce turned around to pick something up. “And what’s up with this?” He was holding up my busted phone.

  “It had an altercation with the wall and didn’t fare so well. What do you mean Blaise didn’t show for the after party?” I was starting to get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

  “Wait. Is he not with you?” Royce was slowly catching up to what was really going on. “Is that an airplane in the window behind you? What the fuck is going on, Ava?”

  I looked over my shoulder. What the hell was up with these windows? Shouldn’t the glare from the light have rendered the planes on the other side of the glass hidden in the dark of night? Nope. Not considering they had a spotlight bright as daylight shining on the one straight behind me.

  “Look, I’ll explain later. Right now we need to find Blaise. Where are Derek and Angel?”

  Royce was on the move. When he stepped outside he finally answered, “Derek is sleeping, but Angel’s still up. He’s sitting in the back watching TV.” He glanced out into the night, then back at the screen. “How bad is this Ava?”

  “Don’t know yet. Call you when I find out. Don’t let the bus leave until I figure out what’s going on.”

  I snapped my screen shut, shoved the laptop back into the pillow case and collected the rest of my stuff. Then, like a fool, I began running through the terminal until I made it back outside and into another cab.

  “The Glass Room, please,” I called to the cabby before I was even fully inside the vehicle. He didn’t waste any time. The second my door slammed shut, he was on the move already.

  The drive seemed to take for fucking ever. Every second tha
t I sat there I berated myself for all the stupid ways I had handled the situation. Starting with my phone. God, I’d never wanted to get a drunk call from Blaise more than I did in that first moment I couldn’t get one. It didn’t matter now. None of it did. And really, as much as I seemed to enjoy claiming all responsibility for Blaise’s actions, I was just an innocent bystander watching a train wreck I had no way of stopping. Even if part of me felt like I had set it into motion, the reality was, it had been stuck on this track for the last decade already.

  When the car finally stopped in front of the night club, I threw my wallet at the driver and ran inside leaving all of my stuff behind with my money and ID. The bar had closed over an hour ago, but there was bound to be someone left inside.

  I banged on the doors for several minutes and then, “What the hell?”

  “I’m sorry, but I’m looking for someone. It’s important. Blaise Nolan, did he come in here tonight?”

  The guy in the doorway stared me up and down for a minute. “Listen honey, we don’t make a habit of disclosing our guest list to people. Our clientele just wouldn’t appreciate it.”

  He went to close the door again but I slid my foot in before he could. “You don’t understand. I’m his manager. I was here with the whole band last night.” Then realizing that I was getting nowhere I switched gears, ”Fine, never mind. What about Melanie, is she here tonight?” It was the scary red head. If Blaise was unraveling, he’d be going for maximum destructing and she’d be right up his alley.

  “You know Mel?”

  “Yeah. She around or what?” I was really getting tired of being in limbo. He either needed to let me in or direct me to the next place.

  “Took off earlier. But her roommate’s here. Hold on.” He turned his head inside and called out, “Perry. There’s someone here looking for Mel.”

  Perry was a leggy blonde who was probably just slightly less scary than Melanie. And I didn’t scare easy. But the size of her fake breasts about to jump out at me from her mini sized shirt was enough to make me want to run and hide.