Hot Winter Nights (Made in Montana)

by Debbi Rawlins

  She’d just grabbed a mug when the door in the back closed with a bang. Turning her head, she saw it was Jason, and her desire for coffee diminished. Not that she wasn’t going to take some; she just couldn’t look at him without feeling a little sick.

  “Hey, you stealing the coffee again?”

  “As if I haven’t earned a decent cup,” she said. She poured, careful not to let her tremble make her spill the coffee, and by the time she put in a dash of real cream, she couldn’t stand it anymore.

  She turned to face Jason, who was staring up at the monitor plugged in above the desk.

  “Why, Jason?”

  He clicked off the dailies with the remote and blinked at her. “Why what?”

  “Why was it so easy to sell out Erin? After all she’s done for you? After we all swore we’d never become that.”

  “Oh, please. Look, I know you and Erin are besties, and you think I’ve screwed her, but has she told you that I’m paying her full salary for a first AD? It’s not all that terrible.”

  “Of course it is. Good grief, how you’ve rationalized everything you used to believe was wrong about the business. Erin is the only thing that truly kept this shoot going. Making Baxter AD is a slap in her face, and you know it.”

  She could see the red rising up Jason’s neck, a sure sign he was ready to blow. Well, she didn’t care. Not a whit.

  “What, you think it was an easy call for me? Do you have any idea how much money we’ve got now? Enough to make our budget on the sequel. Without taking out any more loans. Paul Mortimer’s check isn’t all I’ve got. He has connections to distributors. My God, after all these years, are you truly this naive?”

  “I know who you were. And who you are now. And you used to believe the film would speak for itself. Despite everything, it’s a hell of a movie, Jason. You didn’t need to sell out. You just got scared and sold your soul for the easier road.”

  “Christ, what, has Erin been giving you lessons on breaking my balls?”

  “I don’t need lessons to tell the truth.”

  “What are you so upset about, anyway? You’ve still got your part. You’re going to get some action on that role, sweetheart. That’s what you’ve always wanted, and I just made sure it would happen. You should be thanking me. I’m giving you a future that’s not working in a crappy trailer on some other actress’s hair.”

  For a moment, Lila couldn’t catch her breath. Then she got really, really calm. She put her mug down and took a step forward, then another, until she was right up in Jason’s face. “You know what? I quit. I’m done. I don’t want to work with you ever again. And I sure as heck don’t want Baxter telling me what to do for a good eight weeks. I’ll finish up on this one, because I’ve signed a contract, but after that? No more, Jason. Not one extra day.”

  “You’re joking.”

  “Do I look like I’m joking?”

  “This is your shot, Lila. For God’s sake, you’ve got talent. We wrote this character for you. Tara’s gonna get as much print as the lead. Don’t you understand? This is the part that has all the juice. Don’t walk away when it finally matters. You’ll be back at square one, can’t you see that?”

  “I see everything quite clearly, thank you. You’re thirty years old and you look like you’re forty, you know that? Your affair with Penelope is doing damage to the movie, and your reputation. You sold out your most loyal friend and told her about it after the fact. I’m absolutely certain you knew she’d stick around, because that’s who Erin is. Honorable. And you stuck a knife in her back. You—” Her brain and mouth both seemed to quit on her. “You stupid fucker. I’d rather wait tables than work with you again.”

  Lila’s heart was beating so hard she might just have a stroke. She’d never felt better or been surer about anything in her life. And she’d used the F-word. She walked out of the trailer with her head held high.

  Until she realized she’d just quit without talking to Erin.

  How could she have been so stupid? It wasn’t as if she could go back and say, by the way, please don’t tell Erin. Pretty, pretty please. For old times’ sake. And p.s. you’re still a stupid fucker.

  Lila sighed.

  Crap.

  * * *

  CLINT DIDN’T KNOW what was going on when he saw Lila leave the trailer looking so angry she could spit, but when he saw Jason running after her, Clint jumped out of his truck.

  Jason was calling out to her, and she just kept shaking her head, moving fast, without looking back at him. She was at work, Jason was still her boss, and since she didn’t appear to be in any danger, Clint had no right to interfere. But that was just too damn bad. She could chew him out later if she wanted.

  She was still a good distance away, and he doubted she’d seen him yet. Her head was bowed as she stared at the ground in front of her.

  Jason gave up his pursuit, whether it was because he’d seen Clint, he didn’t know. Didn’t care. As he closed in on Lila, he saw how pale she looked. The violence building inside him wasn’t anything he’d ever experienced before, and his fists reflexively clenched. God help Jason if he was responsible for the stricken expression on her face.

  Clint stopped ten feet in front of her.

  “Lila?” he said, realizing she hadn’t noticed him. “Sweetheart?”

  Startled, she glanced up and froze. “Hi. What are you doing here?”

  He held up her cell phone. “You forgot this in the truck.”

  “Oh.” She patted her pocket, then held out her hand. “Thanks, I would’ve been lost without it.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” Her shoulders slumped. “Is Jason behind me?”

  “He went back to his trailer.”

  “Good.” She drew in a deep breath. “Look, I can’t talk. I’ve got to get to work.”

  He followed her gaze to the man and woman, actors with small parts, who were here for the week.

  Lila touched his arm with an unsteady hand. “Everything’s fine,” she said. “I promise I’ll call you later.” She looked as if she was in some kind of daze. “I just quit.”

  “You what?”

  “I quit,” she repeated. “You can’t say anything.”

  She smiled at the approaching couple and said, “Go to the trailer, I’ll be right there.” She looked back at Clint. “Don’t tell anyone, okay?”

  He was almost too shocked to speak. “I won’t.”

  “It’s fine,” she said, her face a complete wreck. “I promise.”

  He might’ve believed her if her voice hadn’t cracked. Twice. Both times when she’d said the word quit. Given her loyalty to Erin, he could see her telling Jason to shove it on her friend’s behalf. But things sure weren’t fine. He recognized regret when he heard it.

  Watching her race up the trailer steps, he couldn’t make himself move. He had an order to pick up at the hardware store. He’d figured on hanging around and having breakfast at the diner while he waited for Jorgenson to open. But the thought of food didn’t agree with him now.

  Cast, crew and extras were arriving in herds. He’d left his truck in a lousy spot. He had to move it before he jammed someone up. Part of him wanted to wait around, be available if Lila had a few minutes to talk. But what was the point? Of course he wanted to make sure she was okay, that was a given. It was that tiny niggling of hope that worried him. The hope he still harbored that if she really had quit and it stuck, that could mean something for their future to
gether.

  On the other hand, if things went further south with Jason, she could be gone by the end of the day. She wanted to be at home for Christmas. If Jason refused to give her back the role, this was a great opportunity for her to tell him to stick it.

  He climbed into his truck and sat there taking one deep breath after another. Just to slow his heart rate. Hell, at least he had the sense to be concerned. Because he knew her quitting didn’t change anything. He’d figured that out last night.

  Lila had expected to be busy today. But damn, he hoped she took a moment to call him. He sat there for another five minutes, staring at his phone, fighting the impulse to call her. But he was blocking traffic. If he didn’t move, someone would be coming to chase him off the lot.

  He drove to town, parked in front of the diner and laid his head back. Lila had slept well, but he hadn’t. He needed more coffee, and in a minute he’d rally and go get some.

  What he had to remember, Lila may have doubts and regrets over quitting, but he didn’t have any doubts about his future. He couldn’t afford to, because he belonged at the Whispering Pines, keeping the Landers’ name and tradition alive. Clint hoped Lila was right about Seth wanting to come back to the family. But they couldn’t count on him.

  Anyway, that wasn’t the point. Tomorrow made three weeks. That’s how long he’d known Lila. And he’d been driving himself insane about their future? That pretty much said it all. He was the worst kind of fool.

  Clint hadn’t realized he’d closed his eyes until someone knocked on the window. He straightened with a start. What the hell?

  He let down the window. “Mom? What are you doing here? It’s early.”

  She smiled. “Early? It’s eight forty. How about buying your old mom a cup of coffee?”

  Clint stared at the dashboard clock. An hour had gone by. How was that possible?

  “Looks as though you could use some yourself.”

  Dazed, he glanced at her. “Sure,” he said, and climbed out.

  They sat in a small booth at the back of the diner and ordered coffee right away. “I’m so glad I caught you alone,” his mom said and reached across the table to pat his hand.

  “Is that why you’re in town?”

  “No,” she said, laughing. “I need to pick up a few things at Abe’s Variety. Although I wouldn’t mind spotting a movie star or two.”

  Clint smiled. “I don’t think any of them are in town today.”

  “Is Lila working?”

  He nodded, hoping the conversation wasn’t about to get awkward. “What is it you wanted to talk about?”

  “You taking over the ranch.”

  Clint nodded at the waitress as she set down their coffees, and then he looked at his mom. “Didn’t Dad tell you I gave him my answer?”

  “He did.” She stirred sugar into her cup. “And I’m so proud of him for telling you to wait.”

  Clint sighed. He knew she meant well, but damn... “It’ll be the same answer after Christmas.”

  “Have you said anything to Lila?”

  “She has nothing to do with it, Mom.”

  “Don’t you think she should?”

  He turned to stare out the window for a minute. “Look, do I like her? Very much. Can I see the two of us together in a year? No. She’s an actress. She plays it down, but in a few months she’ll have a part in a movie that will be a major game changer for her—”

  “Oh, for goodness’ sake, I know all about that,” she said, waving a hand. “And about that Caribbean cruise your dad booked, too. So don’t let that influence your decision.”

  “How?”

  Laughing, she shook her head. “Your dad, bless his heart, forgets I pay the bills. I saw the charge on last month’s statement. In fact, I’ve got to pick up some Scotch tape to leave around before he drives me crazy looking for it. I’m assuming he wants to wrap the tickets.”

  “And Lila?”

  “We had a few private minutes in the kitchen.”

  “What did she say?” Clint put down his cup.

  “First, the woman clearly has feelings for you, Clint, and don’t act like I don’t know what I’m talking about. Because you have feelings for her, too—pretty strong feelings that might be making your thinking fuzzy.”

  “Mom,” he said calmly, “what did Lila say?”

  “It’s more what she didn’t say.”

  His heart sunk. He should’ve known...

  “That girl isn’t cut out for show business. You say she plays it down, the big part that’s coming up? Lila isn’t playing it down, Clinton. She doesn’t have the heart for it.”

  He swallowed. This was torture. He wanted to believe that, even while he told himself his mom was wrong.

  “You listen when she talks about being in the movies. It used to be her dream. It isn’t anymore.”

  He stared at his cup. Sure, he’d thought the same thing. For a minute. Before he’d realized he was being a fool. “And what if you’re wrong?”

  “Well, if I am, it doesn’t change the fact that Lila isn’t Anne.”

  He met his mom’s concerned gaze.

  “I know it crossed your mind, and then some,” she said. “I’d be worried if it hadn’t. Lila is different. She’s had a taste of what it’s like to be in all the Hollywood hoopla, and it’s not for her. She’s more of a homebody. Glamour and fame will never take the place of having family around her. And yes, I know you’re gonna say I met her for just one night, what do I know, but here’s something else to consider. Her looks can be deceiving. Might be hard to imagine her chasing after snotty-nosed kids and muddy dogs.”

  Clint smiled a little at that. The thing was, he could see it. Her. Him. The two of them chasing after kids in the damn house he wanted to build. That was the problem. Lila was loyal to Erin, and she didn’t want to disappoint her parents. He admired that, but it was another stumbling block. It also lent credence to what his mom said about her losing interest in the dream.

  But he’d seen the regret in her face. He’d heard it in her voice. He wouldn’t be surprised if she was talking to Jason right now. Apologizing. Trying to get the role back. And if she didn’t, she’d always wonder how her life and career could’ve turned out differently.

  That would kill him the most. Watching her spend the rest of her life regretting that she hadn’t made it to the finish line. And always wondering what might’ve happened if she’d just gotten that big break she’d worked so hard to get.

  He thought about Nathan and the hell his brother had gone through after Anne died. Not knowing about the yearning his wife had kept secret had almost destroyed him. Clint agreed. Lila wasn’t anything like Anne, but to wonder was human nature.

  “Clint, do your old mom a favor.” She waited until he looked at her. “Before you give up, talk to Lila. Ask her what she wants.”

  * * *

  LILA HAD BATTLED against nervous energy all day. That, and guilt. She had to talk to Erin, who was crazy busy. Everyone was, including Jason, so just maybe he hadn’t said anything to Erin.

  At 5:00 o’clock she texted Erin their SOS signal. It meant drop everything, screw everyone, come now.

  As she waited, Lila bit her nails. She’d quit the nasty habit eight years ago. Another reason to hate Jason the Weasel. “What?” Erin came running up behind her. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes. Maybe.” Lila swallowed hard. “I love you. You’re not like a sister to me, you are my sister. You know that, right?”

>   “Lila, you’re scaring the shit out of me. So just say it.”

  They were standing between two trailers. People could see them, but not hear the conversation. It was the best location Lila could manage.

  “First, promise you won’t hate me.” Lila wouldn’t cry. She’d promised herself.

  “You could never do anything to make me hate you,” Erin said. “Oh, unless you don’t start talking.”

  Lila gave her a shaky smile. “I quit. This morning.”

  “You did not.”

  Lila nodded. “I know I should’ve talked to you first, but Jason made me so angry I just—”

  “Don’t worry, kiddo.” Erin rubbed Lila’s arm. “He hasn’t given the role away. I’ll talk to him.”

  “Erin, no. What I’m trying to say is—” She needed to breathe. “I don’t want it. I can’t do this anymore. I feel terrible. I do. We made promises...we had plans...” Lila sniffed. “Oh, and I called him a stupid fucker.”

  Erin blinked. “You?”

  Lila nodded.

  “To his face?”

  Lila sighed.

  Erin let out a howl and hugged her. “I’m so proud! Pissed that I wasn’t there to see it, but really proud.”

  She freed herself from Erin’s strong grasp. “You understand what I’m saying, don’t you? It’s not just Jason. I don’t want this anymore, Erin. I hate being on location. I hate the—”

  Erin’s and Lila’s phones buzzed within seconds of each other. It was the second time for Erin, so she brought out her cell.

  Lila read hers. Clint wanted to see her tonight. She felt so giddy with relief, she texted him to come anytime.

  “I have five minutes tops,” Erin said. “But I have a confession, too.”

  * * *

  CLINT’S PALMS WERE SWEATING, so was the back of his neck. He used a towel he had on the backseat, then got out of the truck. Lila’s text had said to meet her at the hair-and-makeup trailer. He saw her coming from the back of the lot, but Baxter intercepted her.