Choices, Loyalty, & Love (Men of NatEx #3): A Package Handlers Novel

by Kyle Autumn

  When I peek into the living room, I find Matt and Jeremy on the couch and Dani in a chair. She waves to me, and I wave back. Amelia kisses Jeremy on the mouth in greeting. But then Jeremy gives me a look I don’t quite know what to do with. It’s part angry, part worried, part…something else I don’t know him well enough to read. But the whole expression makes me pause, and I twist my head back toward Cadence.

  “Mind if I stay in here with you?”

  She stands up straight after having put the pan back into the oven. Then she blows her bangs out of her face. “Not at all. I’m sorry. I should have offered that too.” She smiles as she pulls a stool out from under her breakfast nook. “Sit,” she says, patting the seat. “You can tell me how today went.”

  I set my purse on the counter and have a seat. “It was good,” I tell her. Then I launch into more specific details about appointments I scheduled for her and the paperwork I finished filing.

  Sighing, she says, “I can’t tell you how good it feels to know my office is in safe hands and things are getting done. I’m so behind on everything!”

  “It’s understandable. You are getting married in a week,” I remind her.

  “Yeah, but I have a business.” After taking bottles of dressing out of the fridge, she sets them on the counter right by me. “I can’t just drop everything to plan a wedding.”

  “It seems like you’re managing just fine.” Then I warmly glance at the crowd in the living room again. “Plus, you have a bunch of people who’ve got your back.”

  At that, she stops moving around the kitchen and looks at them too. “I really do, don’t I?” Her smile grows wider by the second. “Before I met Matthew, I was married to someone else. But we divorced when I’d had enough of his cheating, among other things. And I wasn’t ready to date again when I finally spoke to Matthew—but I’m glad I gave it a chance. Because look at all the other people I got by being with him.”

  The oven dings, so Cadence opens it and pulls the pan back out before setting it on the stove. That gives me enough time to process what she just said. Which sounded a lot like my reasoning for thinking about giving this thing with Aidan a go even though I’m not ready. She did it and doesn’t regret it. Can’t that happen to me too?

  Amelia comes into the kitchen now, taking a box out of the fridge. She put it in there when we got here, but I didn’t ask what it was. Now that she’s opened it, I see a gorgeous pie, which she pops into the oven now that it’s free.

  “Same for you, right, Amelia?” Cadence asks her as Amelia turns the temperature on the oven down.

  “Same for me what?” she asks.

  “You weren’t ready for love with Jeremy, but it found you anyway. Like with me and Matthew.”

  “Ahh.” She nods slowly. “Yeah, it was all kinds of wrong, bad timing for me, but it needed to happen like that. And we almost didn’t make it through, but…” She steals a glance at Jeremy while he’s not looking, and all I see on her face is pure, unadulterated love. “But I’m so grateful he heard me out.”

  “Heard you out?” I question, my interest piqued. Severely.

  “Yeah.” She tucks some of her hair behind her ear. “We were both holding back some big secrets, and when they finally came to light, it wasn’t pretty.” A corner of her mouth tugs downward. Then, when it returns to normal, she starts to blush a little. “But then he listened to what I had to say.”

  Cadence cocks an eyebrow at her. “Is that all? Because I was right next door, waiting for dinner, while you two—”

  “I know!” Amelia shouts, laughing. “Sorry about that,” she says more quietly.

  Cadence shrugs. “If it means you two figured it out, good for you.” Then she calls to the living room, “Dinner’s ready!”

  The guys and Dani launch out of their seats, all too ready for food. But I’m caught up in this world of people I can learn so much from. Neither of these women was in a place where a relationship was on the table, but look at them now. They’ve made it work, and if the affection and happy expressions coming from their guys are anything to go by, everyone’s better off because of it.

  Would Aidan and I be that way? Is it even possible for us? No, the timing isn’t right. At all. And no, I’m not ready. But I’m even more determined than I was before. Determined to see if this is even a possibility. Determined to tell Aidan what’s going on with me and see if he can see past it. If he can still love me once he finds out the truth.

  But, when the front door opens and Aidan walks in, my stomach flip-flops all over the place and I suddenly don’t feel as determined anymore. Maybe I’ll be ready to tell him later. Just definitely not right now.

  Still, the way those butterflies dance in my stomach means something. This isn’t something I felt with Mason even one time throughout our entire relationship. And the brothers look enough alike that it’s not as though Aidan’s that much more attractive than Mason—though he’s definitely the better-looking one. It’s not his aesthetics.

  It’s just him.

  It’s always been him.

  And I’m going to have one hell of an uphill battle to fight to prove that to him. I can see that in his face the moment he recognizes that I’m also here at “family” dinner. Even though I laid my cards out on the table earlier today, we’re still not “there” yet. Still not at the point where he trusts a word I say. Especially after that kiss. I’m sure he thought the worst of me after that.

  But he didn’t tell me to go to hell when I told him how I felt at Cadence’s office. So I’ll hold on to that for as long as I have to.

  “Hey, you made it,” Matt says as he grabs a plate. “We’re just digging in. Come get some food.”

  Jeremy gives Aidan one of those man hugs before eyeing me a little more harshly than I feel I deserve. Yes, he knows I’m keeping something from Aidan. But he doesn’t know what it is—which probably makes it worse. I put him in a bad spot, and one of the conditions of living in his house is that I have to confess to Aidan. But Jeremy has to let me do this at my pace. I wish he could understand that. Though, from the story Amelia told, it sounds like he should. I’m not the only one who’s kept secrets from a potential partner.

  I’m not sure what I expect Aidan to do when he approaches me. Will he hug me the way he’s done with everyone else as he made the rounds? Will he shake my hand? Ignore me completely? Nod his head in a private greeting?

  He does none of that. Instead, he sidles up next to me and bumps my shoulder with his arm the way he used to do when we were best friends. “Hey,” he says, a slight grin on his face. Which I’m learning is basically gold coming from this new version of him.

  And the two actions combined send those butterflies into a swarming frenzy throughout my entire midsection. A matching smile lands on my lips as I return his greeting, and that’s all I can manage. One small word before my mouth dries up and my tongue feels too thick to speak any more. Because that’s what Aidan does to me with just one word.

  He makes me tongue-tied and nervous. Like a schoolgirl in love.

  Because that’s what I am: in love with him.

  And hopefully it’s not hopeless.

  ***

  Aidan

  Words can’t express how right it feels to have Nic here with my friends. These people have accepted her as one of their own, given her a job, and taken care of her the way I should have since she got here. Instead, I’ve been a total dickhead to her. I knew that the whole time, but I couldn’t make myself not be an asshole when I knew she couldn’t be mine.

  Now? It’s a whole different ballgame.

  She said she wants to take things slow, figure her life out on her own, heal from the shit that happened before. And I totally agree that she should do that. But there’s absolutely no reason why she can’t do that and sleep over at my place on occasion. Or on lots of occasions. Whichever.

  So, as soon as we’re all done eating and not a moment after, I announce to the group that I have to leave. Then I look at Nic. “
Do you need a ride home? I can drop you off on my way.”

  That’s what I said. But it’s not at all what I meant. I’m not dropping her off anywhere unless I’m invited too.

  “Uh, sure,” she says, looking nervous. But a shy smile graces her lips anyway. “Let me just wash my dishes.”

  “Oh, don’t worry about it,” Cadence tells her. “Matthew will do them.” Then she winks at Nic and gives Matt a squeeze, one arm around his back and the other on the shoulder closer to her. “If you want to head to the office tomorrow to get some stuff done, feel free. No pressure though. Otherwise, I’ll see you on Monday.”

  “Monday it is,” I tell Cadence for Nic, who gives me a strange look before I take her hand and nearly drag her out the door. “Thanks for dinner!”

  Nic stumbles over her feet behind me, grabbing her purse as we make our way to my car. I still have a hold on her and don’t plan on letting go until she’s in the car. This woman got away once, and I have the chance to make sure she never does again. Not in a creepy stalker way. Just in that “claim my woman forever” kind of way. Because she’s mine. Always has been, always will be. She just needs to realize that.

  And I’ll make sure she does tonight.

  I’ve been on cloud nine since we spoke at Cadence’s office. Sure, it’s not what I had planned for us, but it is what it is. She has needs too. I just so happen to think we can meet those needs together. They don’t have to happen at separate times. And I’m going to make her see that.

  Once she’s in the Jeep, she takes a big breath and lets it out in a strong exhale. “What’s the rush?” she asks under her breath.

  I lean inside the car, one hand on her door and the other on the top of the car. “If you don’t know what the rush is,” I tell her, keeping my voice low, “then I don’t think you meant what you said earlier.” Then I close the door and walk to my side.

  As soon as I’m in, she answers me.

  “I meant what I said, Aidan.” She buckles her seat belt, keeping her gaze focused on that task. “Slow. I need to get myself together before we do this.”

  “But you want to do this.”

  She picks at her fingernails as she says, “Yes, but there are things you don’t kn—”

  I stop her by placing my hand on hers. “All I need to know is that you’re in. We can take it as slow as you want to, but there’s no chance in hell I’m starting this engine and taking you anywhere until we get on the same page for once in our fucking lives.”

  Nic chuckles a little, and it sounds like it was against her better judgment.

  I move my hand to her cheek so I can tip her chin up. I want her to see how serious I am. “I mean it, Nic. Our timing has never been right. But we have the chance to give this a real shot this time and I’m not about to lose it because I was too chicken to tell you how I feel.” I trace her cheekbone with my thumb, loving how smooth her skin feels under my touch. “I was in love with you then, and I still am now. And I don’t expect that from you, but I won’t go down this time without a fight. Not without trying to show you that we should be together.”

  She sucks in a small breath and leans into my hand as her eyelids flutter closed. “If that’s what you thought…” She peers up at me again, pain shining in her big, bright eyes.

  “It doesn’t matter what anyone thought before,” I tell her, caressing her cheek one last time. “All that matters now is that you’re here and willing to try. That’s all I want.” I start the car, put it in drive, and pull onto the street. And then I take her hand in mine, my heart soaring over the fact that I’m allowed to touch her at all.

  And that she isn’t pulling away.

  I try not to think too hard about the fact that she’s staring out the window, not saying anything. If it means bad things, I don’t want to know yet. Maybe that makes me selfish, but I want this time with her. This moment in time when my brother’s of no concern and her father can’t tell her I’m not the best choice.

  When we arrive at my house ten minutes later, she doesn’t look shocked. She just unbuckles her seat belt like she’s resigned herself to this fate when we left Matt and Cadence’s house. Then she gets out of the Jeep and starts for the door. But I’m quicker and beat her to it.

  I put my back to the door as I stand between it and her. “If you’d rather go home, I’ll take you home,” I tell her, giving her the out I’m fairly certain she won’t take. I have no right to be that sure, but confidence is the only thing that’ll push me to keep doing this with her.

  “That’s not what you want.” She folds her arms over her chest, but I swear I see the hint of a smirk tilting her mouth.

  “I didn’t say anything about what I want. This is about what you want too.”

  After holding my gaze for several tension-filled beats, she lets her arms fall to her sides and moves past me toward the door. When she finds it locked, she waits for me to unlock it. So I do and let her go inside first.

  But she pauses in the doorway and leans toward me, one hand gripping the frame. “If you think I don’t want to be here,” she says, her voice deeper than normal, “then I don’t think you meant what you said earlier.”

  Just like that, I’m hard as a rock for her. And I don’t waste a second before dashing toward her, scooping her off her feet, and throwing her over my shoulder.

  Intent on showing her just how serious I was about what I said before.

  Chapter 14

  Aidan

  The moment we’re in my bedroom, I set her on her feet. Neither of us does anything at first because I think we both feel how monumental this moment is. It’s the first time I’ll be able to truly and freely act on how I feel for her, and it’s the first time she’ll allow herself to do the same. Because she feels something for me. She wants to be here. And she wants to give us a shot.

  My heart skips around, contending for blood flow with my dick, and I’m not sure which one will win: the one that wants to fuck her senseless because she’s sexy and smart and finally within my grasp or the one that wants to stare at her forever because she’s sexy and smart and finally free to be with me. Luckily, I don’t have to make a decision. She makes the first move and steps toward me, just a single step that puts her merely inches from me.

  With one hand, she cups my face. Searching my eyes, she tenderly caresses my cheek with her thumb, gazing at me like she doesn’t think I’m real. I can hardly believe it, either, so I stand stock-still except for my eyelids. They drift closed even though I want to see her, keep my eye on her so I can memorize every single second of this time with her. But it’s like even they can’t believe what I’m seeing and have to shut it out in case she was never really here to begin with.

  When her other hand finds my other cheek, her skin soft against the stubble of my five-o’clock shadow, I open my eyes again. She’s a breath away now, her lips millimeters from mine, and I almost can’t take it any longer. I’m about to close the distance between us and kiss this woman properly for the first real time, but this time, she beats me to something.

  She lifts onto her toes to get the right leverage and presses her lips against mine.

  The zing that runs through my veins is like an electric shock. Like a bolt of lightning sparking a fire full of lust and desire I already had plenty of for her before this. All it does is fuel the fire further, and when she pokes her tongue out to gain access to my mouth, I lose all semblance of control. My hands shoot out to her waist and grip her a little too hard, anchoring us both to this reality, where this—she and I—is really happening.

  She must feel it too, because she immediately reaches forward and nearly rips the buttons off my shirt in her haste to get it off me. Once it’s gone, her hands fly to the zipper on my jeans. She fumbles with that for a moment, but I’m hasty too and desperately need to her out of her work clothes. Of course she looks fucking amazing in this pencil skirt, but it’s the last thing I imagined her wearing back then. And it’s one of the few things between me and her bare skin, s
o it has to go.

  Now.

  I move her away from me, only an arm’s length, so I can undress her. She’s already breathing hard, which spurs me on even more. She’s just as affected by this as I am, which is something I was terrified I’d die without experiencing. Not anymore. Now, I know just how much she wants this too. So I spin her around and slowly take my time unzipping her skirt.

  Once the zipper is all the way down, I hook my thumbs inside her skirt and pull it down her legs, dropping to my knees. I trace my fingers down her legs as I go and goose bumps leave a trail in their wake. Under her skirt is a black thong, and I’ve never wanted to rip something off a woman with my teeth so badly as I do now. I’m determined to not take this too far though, so instead, I massage the bare cheeks of her ass and kiss my way up her legs until I hit the fleshy part where her thighs meet her bottom.

  When I give her a gentle bite on one side of her ass, a soft moan escapes her lips. I gaze up at her, fascinated by the sounds of her arousal, and see she’s peeking at me over her shoulder the best she can, watching me feel her. I smirk up at her and kiss her skin before making my way back up and pivoting her toward me. Then, one button at a time, I undo her shirt, kissing her mouth thoroughly as I do.

  Her shirt falls to the floor to rest on top of mine. With one of her high heels, she kicks her skirt toward the pile, but I barely notice. Because Nic is standing in front of me wearing only a bra, a thong, and those sexy-as-fuck high heels. I hope she keeps those on, but the rest has to go. I fully commit the image of her like this—with her hair already a little mussed, her lips swollen from my kisses, and her breasts looking ready to eat as they spill a little from her bra—to my memory anyway.

  I step closer to her, reaching around to unhook her bra. As if she’s nervous about being naked in front of me all of a sudden, she presses the cups tight to her chest while the straps fall down her shoulders.