by J. R Fox
Home safe, it read. The guy next to me on the flight snored and drooled on my shoulder. My cab driver was super cool though, so that made up for it. I’ll send you an email tomorrow with all the boring details. Goodnight, Eric.
Night, Aidan, Eric sent back, relief that Aidan was safe washing over him. All he wanted in life was for Aidan to be safe and happy. Ideally, with Eric, but also when they were separated.
The fact that Aidan was now back home, and therefore not with him, only hit Eric then. It felt as though it was a real, physical pain, and he wondered if it might have been more run to actually be stabbed in the heart. Aidan was so far away. That hadn't mattered a lot to him before, but it was much, much worse now.
At least four months wasn’t a terribly long time. It’d go by before either of them knew it. Eric had to keep telling himself that so he wouldn't drive himself insane missing Aidan.
Chapter Six
After three tests had come back positive and a doctor’s visit had confirmed it, Aidan was forced to accept that despite not wanting to be, he was pregnant. The only possible candidate for fatherhood was Eric. Heat suppressants were supposed to act as contraceptives, but clearly in this case, they had failed.
A review of relevant literature indicated that sometimes, in the presence of an alpha, a heat would occur as normal, complete with extremely heightened fertility, regardless of whether suppressants had been taken. That was what the doctor told Aidan, anyway.
Aidan had accepted it only because the entire weight of medical science told him he was pregnant, and he’d gone to the doctor in the first place to get treatment for what was clearly morning sickness. He’d never imagined that his suppressants would fail, but no technology was perfect, and suppressants were relatively new, too. Omegas hadn’t always had a choice about pregnancy.
It mattered less how it had happened, and more that it had. Aidan had never expected to fall pregnant, and now he was in a situation he'd never planned for. The idea of pregnancy didn't bother him, exactly, but he'd never stopped to think about whether or not he wanted children of his own.
One thing Aidan was sure of was that he would have to tell Eric about the pregnancy at some point. It was half Eric’s responsibility, and any decision Aidan made about it would have to be discussed with him first. Aidan owed him that much.
He sat down to write Eric an email, explaining that he was eight weeks pregnant and, short of immaculate conception, the baby was most definitely Eric’s. Twenty minutes and a still-blank email later, Aidan accepted that he didn’t really know what to say yet. He was still processing the information himself, and while he respected Eric and wasn’t about to make any decisions without his input, he wanted to know what he wanted before he said anything.
Aidan had never seen himself as a parent, but now that the opportunity had arisen—and with it, the chance to be closer to Eric than ever—he was asking himself if it was something he wanted to do. He could imagine enjoying raising a child, especially if Eric was around to help in some capacity. Not necessarily as his mate—Eric had never indicated that he wanted that—but as a co-parent, at least. The idea was confusing at best, and left Aidan conflicted and distressed. He didn’t know what would make him the happiest in the long-run yet.
For the time being, that meant not saying anything while he tried to figure out what his own feelings were, so that when he told Eric about it, he was coming from a place where he knew what he wanted.
Instead of telling Eric what was going on, he sent a normal update on his day, omitting the part where he was now definitely sure he was pregnant. He hadn’t even mentioned feeling sick to Eric, nor taking the first three over-the-counter pregnancy tests. He’d have to explain all of that, plus why he hadn’t wanted to say anything in the first place.
There wasn’t much they didn’t share, and Aidan felt terrible for not having shared everything up to this point with Eric. If he had, he’d know Eric was prepared for the possibility, and this wouldn’t be nearly as scary for him. For either of him, once he finally did work up the courage to tell Eric.
He promised himself he’d do it tomorrow, but when tomorrow came, he still couldn’t bring himself to say anything. Weeks went by, and Aidan realized that he still hadn’t told Eric.
He looked at himself in the mirror at thirteen weeks, marveling at the first hints that he was carrying a baby, and realizing that he still hadn’t told Eric. His next heat would have been due soon if he wasn’t pregnant, and Eric was going to come out and see him.
Aidan paused in his panicked thinking. Eric was coming out soon, and this was probably a conversation he needed to have face-to-face.
He’d decided, in the intervening weeks, that he wanted to keep this baby. Life had passed him by to a degree; he’d spent most of his time working, and his relationship with Eric over the past few years had absorbed most of his social time—not that he had any regrets on that front.
The simple fact that he hadn’t tried to do anything but keep himself and the baby as healthy as possible had told him what he wanted deep down. Now that he had a chance, parenthood seemed like a good option for him. He’d just never believed it could happen to him, with his tendency toward introversion and his less-than-stellar track record with alphas. Eric was the only alpha he’d ever felt safe being close to.
If he didn’t settle down and have a baby soon, he’d run into all kinds of complications when he wanted to. This was a chance to have something he’d never even dared to allow himself to want, and Eric, regardless of what kind of role he wanted to take in the baby’s life, was a good man. Aidan was happy to be carrying his child, and had no bad memories of him. It was a better start, and a better relationship, than a lot of children got.
Explaining all this to Eric would be better in person. He could start dropping hints and putting out feelers in emails and make sure Eric would come out for their planned time together. By that time, maybe Aidan would even know what he wanted to say.
Excited to finally have a solution, Aidan pulled his t-shirt back on and sat down to give Eric an estimated date for his next heat. It was a lie, but it was only a small one, and he hoped Eric would forgive it.
So I’m due for a heat in a couple of weeks, he started, finding it was much easier to live with his secret now that he had a timeline in mind for telling Eric about it. He went on to give Eric the approximate dates he’d worked out, and added to the end that he had something he wanted to talk to him about, but that he didn’t want to discuss it over email or even on the phone, which they did sometimes now.
Hopefully that wouldn’t freak Eric out. He’d tried to make it sound as positive as possible, but he knew Eric worried about things. All he could do was keep being upbeat and talking to him as though nothing was wrong—which, really, it wasn’t. Aidan was going to have a baby, and if Eric wanted to be involved, he was welcome to be.
Aidan wasn’t sure yet what he was hoping Eric might say, but he was leaning towards Eric wanting to co-parent with him. It would make him sad if Eric decided he didn’t want anything to do with the baby. He imagined Eric would be the responsible type, but there was really no way of knowing how he’d react when he found out. Perhaps Aidan would never see him again, like so many omegas who never saw their alphas again once they were pregnant. Aidan could cope on his own, but he was afraid it might break his heart.
That was a problem for another day, though. For now, he could wait until Eric was around to tell him about the baby, and worry about everything else when they were both on the same page.
***
Eric was worried. He hadn’t heard from Aidan yesterday, and it was getting late in the day for him to email now. He’d been strange the last few weeks, talking about something he needed to discuss with Eric but refusing to give any further details until he saw him in person.
He’d never known Aidan to be like this, and now his sudden silence was worrying. Eric had seen people he only knew online disappear before, but this… this was new. He knew Aida
n as a real person, and he had more than a passing connection with him.
His flights were already booked to go and see him in just three days, but this seemed more urgent than that. Something deep in his gut told him that this wasn’t just Aidan being too busy to talk to him, even with whatever secret he was keeping.
Eric’s dragon side wanted to shift and fly to Aidan, but he knew that would only get him arrested on the other side, or end in him falling out of the sky from exhaustion. Neither of those things would help him.
He waited until the sun rose for Aidan’s email, and then decided that forty-eight hours of no contact constituted enough of an emergency to take drastic measures. After getting in touch with a few other mutual friends to determine that they hadn’t heard from Aidan, either, Eric called the airline he’d booked his flights with and had them moved to the next available one.
On the way to the airport, he phoned in to work to say that he had a family emergency he had to take care of, and didn’t feel at all like he was lying. Aidan was all the family he had, and if something had happened to him, Eric had to know.
He sent another message to Aidan—a text, this time—to say he was getting on a plane and coming to see him. All Eric could hope, as he switched his phone off for the journey, was that Aidan would get it, and there’d be a message waiting for him when he switched it back on to say that everything was fine, but Aidan was happy he was early anyway.
Eric played with his phone for the whole flight, toying with the idea of turning it back on but knowing he wouldn’t get any reception anyway, and not wanting to risk the flight attendant yelling at him. He didn’t nap, or read, or do anything other than come up with hundreds of scenarios where Aidan was dead or dying.
The last thing he wanted to see when he stepped off the plane was I’m in the hospital, but that was what Aidan’s text said. He’d followed it up with an address and directions to the ward, which Eric told himself was a good sign as he frantically hailed a cab.
Aidan was well enough to text him. That had to be good news. People who were really, really sick or injured wouldn’t be able to do that. This was bad, but it could have been much worse. He’d go see Aidan, and he’d know what was going on in a handful of minutes. Everything was going to be fine.
It had to be. Eric couldn’t stand the thought of losing Aidan, and he promised himself in the cab on the way to the hospital that he’d let him know that the second they saw each other. Screw taking things slow. Aidan needed to know he was loved today.
Chapter Seven
Aidan waited anxiously for Eric to arrive at the hospital, feeling guilty the whole time for not having contacted him sooner. He’d been unconscious for most of the time, but that didn’t feel like much of an excuse for leaving Eric to panic about him, considering the circumstances.
In a thin hospital gown under thin hospital sheets, there was no way Aidan could hide his pregnancy from Eric. He’d know straight away, and they were going to have this conversation in a hospital, of all places. Hospitals were, by their nature, cold and sterile, and made reality seem harsher regardless of what reality was. Aidan had wanted to take Eric somewhere nice and ease him into the idea, but his illness—and Eric’s concern for him—had made that impossible.
Perhaps it was for the best, though the moment Eric came into view in front of him, Aidan was hit by a pang of doubt. The way Eric looked at him made his heart hurt.
“Hey.” Eric stopped dead, hovering slightly too far away from the bed for Aidan’s tastes. Aidan wanted, more than anything, for Eric to hold his hand and tell him everything was going to be okay.
“Hey,” Aidan croaked, his throat dry from disuse. He tried to sit up, but every one of his muscles seemed to ache. He’d never thought a simple fever would be enough to put him in the hospital, let alone make him as sick and sore as he had been, but here he was.
He needed a hug, and Eric was too far away to give it to him. Even asking him to close the distance just now seemed like an impossible feat.
“You’re pregnant,” Eric said, looking directly at Aidan’s belly. “That was the secret, right?”
“Right.” Aidan nodded.
“Is the baby…?”
“Baby’s fine. I’m… exhausted and sore and scared, but fine.” Aidan smiled wryly. He appreciated that Eric had asked about the baby. He’d make a good father.
“So you… met someone else?” Eric asked, looking down at the floor. “And that’s what you didn’t want to tell me?”
Aidan tried to follow Eric’s train of thought, but found himself lost immediately. “What? No. Why would you think that?”
“Because you’re pregnant.” Eric raised an eyebrow.
Aidan blinked at him. “It’s yours. I promise you that it’s impossible it’s anyone else’s. What I didn’t want to tell you was that you got me pregnant. Not in an email. It felt impersonal.”
Eric stared at him for a few seconds, then sat down heavily in the chair by the bed. “You’re pregnant,” he repeated.
“Yes.” Aidan swallowed. “I’m keeping it,” he said with what little determination he could muster in his current state. “That’s non-negotiable.”
“No, of course.” Eric looked up at him. “I think I knew? Kinda subconsciously, maybe. I knew there was something different about you before I left, and then when you dropped off the face of the earth… I’ve never panicked like that in my life. I had to get to you. And I think this is why.”
“I’m sorry I made you worry,” Aidan said softly. “I would have gotten in touch sooner, but I passed out at work and woke up here. Apparently pregnancy makes your immune system weak. For omegas, anyway. To protect the baby, who gets all the benefit and is apparently not suffering at all,” he added as he felt the baby shift inside him.
Between that and Eric being here, his pregnancy finally felt real. That was overwhelming enough, but Aidan couldn’t afford to panic in front of Eric right now. One of them had to keep it together.
When Eric looked up again, there were tears in his eyes. He stood and moved over to the bed, finally wrapping Aidan in the hug he so desperately needed. “I was so scared,” he murmured, squeezing Aidan tight.
“Me too.” Aidan hugged back, mindful of the IV tube sticking out of his wrist. “But you’re here now.”
Eric sniffed. “And I’m staying. I’m not leaving you to go through this alone.”
“You look worse than me, Eric.” Aidan reached out to stroke Eric’s stubbled cheek, clearly unshaven for more than a day. “I don’t want you in the next bed, and they’re going to kick you out sooner or later. I want you to take my keys and stay in my apartment. They’re talking about letting me go home tomorrow, anyway.”
“I’m staying until they do kick me out, then.” Eric pulled the chair over to the bed and sat down as close to Aidan as possible, taking his hand and linking their fingers together. “We’re having a baby?”
“Yeah,” Aidan said. For all that he thought he’d come to accept that he was really pregnant, the feeling was still settling over him now that Eric was here. Now that he had someone to share it with. “It’s okay if you’re upset. I know you’ll need time to think about it.”
“No, I…” Eric played with Aidan’s fingers, looking at them as though he’d never seen them before. “I’m fine. With this. Happy, even. I always wanted… a family, I guess.”
“Really? Because I was expecting some resistance and I have a ton of rational arguments prepared,” Aidan said, though he was more than happy if he didn’t have to convince Eric that this could be a good thing.
“Well, get better first, and then you can tell me them all.” Eric smiled a tired smile at Aidan. This was easily the most vulnerable Aidan had ever seen him, and he was only now beginning to process just how much it meant to him that Eric was here. That Eric had flown across the country to get to him, not knowing where he was or why he’d dropped out of contact with him.
That must have meant that he was important to Eric, to
o. Important enough that something in him had been alarmed when Aidan disappeared, which was a deep connection for a dragon. Dragons, in general, didn’t connect deeply to each other at all.
Aidan didn’t want to get his hopes up, but he was beginning to think that he and Eric could make this work after all. Time would tell.
***
Eric let himself into Aidan’s apartment as instructed, and was immediately hit by the scent of it. Aidan’s scent was everywhere here, and this must have been what it was like for him to walk into Eric’s apartment, too. With Aidan permeating every surface, it was finally obvious to Eric that he could smell the pregnancy, and knew instinctively that it was his baby. In the hospital he’d taken Aidan’s word for it—Aidan had no reason to lie, after all—but disinfectant and illness and general hospital smells had masked his scent enough that Eric couldn’t tell.
Now he was completely sure. He and Aidan were having a baby.
That was about as far into the thought process as he got before he passed out on Aidan’s bed, happy to be surrounded by his scent.
When Eric woke up again, it was with the memory of a dream about Aidan, and their baby, and for just a few moments, he got to live in the perfect fantasy where they had a happy life together. Despite knowing that it wasn’t going to be that easy, all of this had made him positive of what he wanted with Aidan. A home and a family, where they’d both always have someone, always feel safe, and be able to raise their baby together.
The first step in that process would be convincing Aidan that he was fit to be a good mate to him and a good father to their baby. While Aidan was obviously receptive to the idea, Eric knew how high his standards were, and that he wasn’t the kind of omega who needed an alpha to get by.
That made things more complicated, because Eric’s only model for how families were supposed to work was that he would support Aidan and the baby by himself. That was what an alpha did. But he knew Aidan would never go for it, and he didn’t even think he was wrong for choosing not to.