by J. R Fox
They’d have to come up with another solution, which involved Eric telling Aidan exactly what he really wanted. Since it turned out he wasn’t ready to do that, because he wasn’t sure Aidan would want to hear it, Eric was left with a limited number of options.
He could move here without waiting for Aidan’s permission—he had savings, and there’d be another job sometime—but if they were going to do things together, they should probably start with discussing big decisions like cross-country moves.
A text came through from Aidan, telling him that they were going to let him go home in a few hours, so Eric put his soul-searching on hold in favor of taking care of Aidan. Their timeline for figuring things out had been altered slightly, but they still had a while to make decisions. Aidan’s recovery was first priority for now.
Whatever happened, Eric was putting Aidan, and the baby, first in all things. That was what an alpha did, and it was time he stepped up to be one.
Eric had spent most of his life feeling as though he didn’t really live up to the ideal version of an alpha. Physically, he was more than big enough, but he’d never been one to shoot for power, wealth, leadership or fame. He liked his relatively quiet existence with few friends and a job that made him happy.
Then Aidan had come into his life through the magic of the internet—they’d met on a forum for people like them, dragons who had given in to their solitary nature but didn’t want to be completely cut off from a sense of community, their human side still needing the contact. Everything had changed for Eric, then. He suddenly wanted more. For the first time, he’d wanted someone to share his life with.
That someone had been Aidan, whether by fate or by circumstance. It had been difficult to put his feelings into perspective until he’d met him in person, but he understood now, looking back, that everything in his life since they’d met had been moving toward this.
He could be a real alpha for Aidan. And for the baby. The three of them could live happily-ever-after, as long as Eric played his cards right and eased Aidan into the idea of not having to be alone in the world. It was a challenge, but it was one he was up for.
For now, he needed to get to the hospital and bring his mate home.
Chapter Eight
Aidan was often grateful for Eric’s presence in his life, but never more so than when Eric brought him home from the hospital, laid him down on the couch, and then proceeded to wrap him in blankets, feed him, and finally, come to rest behind him, holding him close, one hand splayed over Aidan’s belly.
Still tired and sore from his illness—which was in the recovery phase, but not over yet—Aidan was happy to melt against Eric’s solid presence. All the fear and loneliness he’d felt over the last few days dissipated as he settled into Eric’s hold, listening to his steady heartbeat and breathing. It served as a reminder that they were both okay, and even if Aidan felt like crap, he was on the mend.
Until he was up and about, he had Eric. Right now, Eric seemed like the most perfect person Aidan could imagine.
“Thank you for coming for me,” Aidan said softly, comfortably basking in the care Eric was taking of him.
“It was mostly for selfish reasons. I couldn’t deal with not knowing how you were. I was afraid I might have lost you.”
Aidan laughed. He appreciated that Eric had been worried about him, and he felt slightly guilty over it, too, but despite initial concerns, he hadn’t ever been in real danger. Not with modern medicine being what it was. “It’ll take more than a fever to get rid of me. I’ll be around for a while longer yet.”
“Good,” Eric said decisively. He had Aidan’s head tucked under his chin, his whole body curled subtly around him. It was protective, but he was trying not to seem that way. Aidan, to his own surprise, didn’t mind feeling protected by Eric at all.
“I’m sorry I took so long to tell you about the baby. At first, I wasn’t sure what I wanted, and then by the time I figured it out I’d been avoiding telling you for so long… it seemed like the kind of thing to discuss in person, y’know?”
“Well, I’m here in person now, and I’m all ears.”
“I know.” Aidan sighed. “But… as long as you’re happy, I’m happy. I figure there’s no point in working out parenting arrangements until there’s actually a baby. Other than that, there’s not much to discuss.”
“I can think of one thing.” Eric cleared his throat. There was a nervous edge to his tone, which made Aidan worry. “If you’re going to be prone to getting sick for the next five months or so, who’s gonna take care of you?”
Aidan shifted restlessly, suddenly uncomfortably aware that he really didn’t have anyone local. No friends, no family. Just Eric, and Eric would have to go home soon.
“My plan was not to get sick again,” Aidan said honestly. “I hate to think of myself as someone who needs to be taken care of.”
“Sure, but you’ve got a whole other person depending on you, now.” Eric rubbed small circles into Aidan’s belly through his t-shirt. “I’m thinking… it’ll take a week or two to set up once I go back, but I can work part-time, remotely. At least until a couple of weeks after you’ve had the baby. Then you won’t have to worry about this, and I won’t have to worry, either. Which I would like.”
Aidan tried to turn his head to look at Eric, but soon realized the position was too awkward for it. He settled on staring at the coffee table instead. “You’d do that for me?”
“Hey, you’d do the same for me. Was that a yes?”
“Umm. Yeah, sure. You’re right. I can’t afford to put the baby at risk. And I do feel better with you around. Just… calmer. Like I have things under control.”
Eric hummed softly. “Good. I’ll start setting things up in the morning.”
“I’m going to fall asleep on you, so if you need to get up for anything, you might wanna do it now.” Aidan yawned widely. “I’m so tired.”
“Go to sleep,” Eric murmured. “I’m fine here.”
“You’re so good to me,” Aidan said. More than anyone else in his life, Eric had consistently been good to him. It only made sense to Aidan that he’d fallen in love with him, though pregnant and in need of more care than usual, he didn’t feel that now was the time to say that. All the same, he needed to say something.
“If I was going to choose an alpha, it’d be you,” he settled on.
He didn’t have time to contemplate why he’d said that out loud before sleep clouded his mind, but even as he was losing consciousness, Aidan knew he’d said too much.
***
Eric’s mind raced as he felt Aidan fall asleep. He’d said that he’d choose Eric as his alpha. That was huge, but it came with an if.
The if could mean anything. It could mean that Aidan was thinking about settling down with someone, and Eric was first in the running. Or it could mean that Aidan never wanted an alpha, but hypothetically, he’d pick Eric if he did. Or something in between, where he was going to choose an alpha someday, but not today, and he wanted Eric to be available to him when the time came.
That didn’t even take into account that he was sick, tired and sore, and didn’t necessarily intend to say anything at all. It might have been a stray thought Aidan didn’t believe himself. There was no way of knowing, and there was also no way Eric was about to wake Aidan and interrogate him about it.
All the same, it killed Eric that the thing he wanted had just been dangled in front of him, from the person he wanted it with. It was tempting to think that all of his feelings were brought on by Aidan’s pregnancy, but he’d been feeling them for years. This wasn’t something that was just going to go away once the baby was born, not some hard-wired protective instinct that made him think he cared about Aidan so he’d help him get to term.
This was, Eric realized, where his life was headed. He wanted to raise a child with Aidan, and be there for him whenever Aidan needed him, and that feeling wasn’t about to go away.
The question now was, was that feeling compatibl
e with what Aidan wanted? Because this was something they’d never really talked about before, and Eric found himself in the dark. What Aidan wanted was the last piece of the puzzle; everything else was just details.
Not wanting him to be less comfortable than he could be, Eric put aside his worries for a moment to pick Aidan up and move him to the bed. Even pregnant, he seemed impossibly light in Eric’s arms, as though he might blow away if he went past an open window. Aidan was tough as hell, and Eric knew that under his human skin there was an undoubtedly capable dragon, but he was fragile, too.
That scared Eric down to his core, which was how he knew he was in love with Aidan. A world without him wasn’t a place Eric wanted to live.
Aidan mumbled something in his sleep as Eric put him down on the bed, but Eric didn’t catch it. He brushed Aidan’s hair back from his face, smiling down at him even as his heart was aching from having to let go.
He turned to make himself comfortable on the couch, not having been invited to the bed and not wanting to crowd Aidan while he wasn’t feeling his best. He made it as far as the door before he heard a sound, and paused.
“Don’t leave me,” Aidan said softly. Eric went back to the bed straight away, helpless against the request. Not that he would have wanted to ignore it, anyway.
“I’m not going anywhere.” Eric went back to stroke Aidan’s hair. “I told you, I’m here to stay until you get better.”
“But then you’ll leave.” Aidan swallowed thickly. “I can’t keep you.”
Eric knew it was fear talking, maybe even a half-remembered nightmare, but he needed to reassure Aidan. All the same, he didn’t want to say anything he’d regret later.
“I won’t leave.” Eric hesitated, and then decided that Aidan needed his honesty right now, and that he probably would have forgotten it by the morning. “I won’t ever leave if you don’t want me to.”
“Okay.” Aidan sighed. “Sleep here.” He scooted over on the bed and held the covers up.
Eric wasn’t about to argue with that. He climbed in next to Aidan, and smiled when Aidan wrapped both of his arms around him, snuggling close to his body.
He was asleep within moments, though Eric found himself restless, unable to decide whether the conversation they’d just had meant that Aidan wanted him to stay, or that Aidan was more sick and afraid than Eric had initially imagined.
Something told him they wouldn’t end up discussing this in the morning, and that his problems had not yet been solved. Things said while feverish couldn’t be taken too seriously, and the heat radiating off Aidan told Eric that he was still suffering. If he hadn’t improved by the morning, Eric was taking him straight back to the hospital.
Until then, all he could do was wrap his arms around him and hope for the best.
Chapter Nine
Aidan woke without Eric in the bed beside him, which was disappointing. He rolled his way out of bed and managed to get to his feet, stumbling his way into the kitchen, where the promising smell of bacon was emanating from.
He found Eric standing over the stove, frying bacon and eggs. Aidan paused in the doorway to look at him, imagining them doing the same thing a year from now, living a quiet, domestic little life, raising a baby, and having each other’s backs.
Judging by Eric’s reaction last night, though, that wasn’t on the cards for them. He might have agreed to shut Aidan up and get him to go to sleep, but he’d been obviously panicked, his heart beating its way out of his chest. Aidan didn’t even need his dragon hearing to detect it.
Perhaps he’d change his mind when the baby came, but waiting that long seemed like a scary prospect. Especially given Aidan’s current condition.
“Hey,” he said from the doorway, moving into the kitchen. He’d initially intended to sit at the table, but something about the way Eric was standing made Aidan walk over to him instead.
Aidan wanted him. He wanted him with his whole body and soul, and he was going to have to show Eric how serious he was if he wanted to have a shot at keeping him. He reached around Eric to turn off the stove, waiting for him to turn and face him.
“Hey,” Eric said, swallowing visibly. “Is something wrong?”
“I’m fine.” Aidan couldn’t stop himself from staring at Eric’s lips. He wanted them, and all of Eric’s other body parts, on him as soon as possible.
“You’re burning up,” Eric said softly. “We should get you back to the hospital.”
“I’m not sick.” Aidan cleared his throat. “It’s a pregnancy heat. Pregnant omegas have weird hormonal stuff going on. Not having an alpha around and then having an alpha around messes with us.”
“So I should go?” Eric asked softly.
Aidan shook his head. “No.” He reached out and plucked Eric’s glasses from his face, setting them down on the countertop beside him. He knew they were only a mild prescription, almost an affectation, and they were, currently, in his way.
Before Eric could object, Aidan surged forward, catching his lips eagerly and pressing his whole body against him. “You should stay,” he murmured against Eric’s neck. “I need you.”
“Aidan…” Eric swallowed thickly.
“Don’t tell me you don’t want me.” Aidan reached out to put his hand on Eric’s cheek. “Don’t start lying to me now.”
“That’s not… I do, and that’s the problem.”
“I don’t see a problem.” Aidan could feel his breathing speeding up, control slipping away from him, but he needed to stay focused for Eric’s sake. He clearly wanted to get something off his chest. “I’m sorry, I’m a little single-minded right now. I guess you’re not used to dealing with omegas in heat.”
“I want to mate with you,” Eric said in a rush. “And you don’t want that and that’s okay, right, but I can’t keep doing this. I can’t screw you as a friend. I need more.”
Aidan’s mouth fell open, and he backed away a step. He had no idea what to say to that.
He’d heard the tremor in Eric’s voice last night when he’d asked him to stay. The hesitation in answering at all. Aidan had made a decision that he could live with that and just enjoy whatever time he had with Eric, and now Eric was the one who couldn't keep doing this?
“I asked you to stay with me last night,” Aidan said, for lack of anything more intelligent or useful. He couldn't believe that of the two of them, Eric was the one who felt unwanted.
“Yeah, but…”
“I made the first move on you and practically kept you locked in your own apartment for three days because I wanted to be close to you. I found out I was pregnant and I was scared of telling you in case you didn't want to raise the baby with me, because I wanted to raise it with you. I was exhausted and in pain last night and my first and only thought was that I wanted you with me, so much so that I made you promise you’d stay. And I'm the one who doesn't want to be mated to you?” Aidan raised an eyebrow.
“Well… when you say it like that…” Eric rubbed the back of his neck. “I'm an idiot, huh?”
“Yes,” Aidan said bluntly. “But you're an idiot I'm desperately in love with, and also who I really need to help me out right now.”
Aidan took a step forward again, leaning in to kiss Eric more sweetly this time. “Please,” he breathed, more than spoke, against Eric’s lips. “I can’t talk rationally like this. But please, please know that I want you here in whatever capacity you want to stay. I just never dared to hope that you’d want to stay permanently.”
Eric swallowed, then nodded. He dropped his hands to Aidan’s hips, squeezing them gently and only having the effect of ramping Aidan’s arousal levels up to eleven. “I’ll take care of you first,” Eric said, his thumbs framing Aidan’s belly. “I’ll always take care of you first.”
Aidan made a tiny, needy noise, but found himself cut off by Eric’s lips. Rather than arguing, he melted happily under him, allowing himself to be backed up until he hit the kitchen table.
To Aidan’s surprise and delight, Eri
c turned him around and yanked his pajama pants down, exposing Aidan to the air of the kitchen. Without pausing or asking for permission, Eric ran his fingers through the wetness between Aidan’s legs.
“You weren’t kidding,” he said, returning his hands to Aidan’s hips. Aidan, wanting to get to the part where Eric was inside him as quickly as possible, leaned forward to grip the table opening himself up for Eric to take him.
“I’m still not kidding. I promise we can have an in-depth heart-to-heart conversation once you’re done fucking me.” Aidan wriggled his hips in the hopes of encouraging Eric. To his relief, he heard the sound of Eric pulling his own pants down behind him.
Eric’s fingers returned, testing Aidan’s readiness as though it was ever in question. Aidan was beginning to suspect that Eric just enjoyed teasing him, which he couldn’t bring himself to begrudge him, even when he was as desperate as he was now.
“I like it when you get demanding,” Eric said conversationally, as though his mere touch wasn’t enough to leave Aidan squirming under him.
“And you like making me wait, too.” Aidan licked his lips. “I’m not above begging.”
“I think I’d like that.” Eric said, running his fingers over where Aidan wanted his cock most.
“Please, Eric,” Aidan allowed himself to whine, letting his desperation show in full effect. “I need you. Just you. No one else. I feel like I’m gonna die without you.”
“Tell me you’re mine,” Eric said. Even now, there was nervousness in his voice.
“I’m yours,” Aidan replied without hesitation. “I’ve been yours for a long time.”
That, apparently, was enough to spur Eric on, since a moment later, Aidan felt the head of his cock pressed against his body. He moaned lowly as Eric pushed inside, closing his eyes and sighing happily as some of his desperation eased.
He didn’t regret what he’d said at all. Eric had been the only person he could imagine himself with for years, he was just allowing himself to acknowledge it now. It was turning out to be a good decision already, since it was clearly what Eric had needed to hear. Aidan’s breath hitched as Eric’s knot slid inside him, stretching him just enough to put pressure on all his sensitive spots.