Imperfect Heart

by Tarina Deaton

  “Suit yourself.”

  She banged the back of her head against the door. “Baby Jesus hates me.”

  Chapter 4

  Zoe stood in the midst of her life, packed and sorted into forty-eight moving boxes, and stared at the poster-sized to-do list tacked to the wall of her dining room.

  Household goods delivery was checked off. That was the easy part. Unpacking was the part that sucked. Every move she wondered if it would be easier to sell everything at one assignment and buy new at the next. Definitely not less expensive, but how much was a stress-free life worth nowadays?

  “More money than you have.” She clapped her hands, trying to motivate herself. “All right. Everything’s easier with a list. A list is a roadmap to a goal.”

  She tore off a blank sheet of self-stick easel paper and stuck it to the wall next to the other list. Grabbing her trusty marker, she wrote down the order of the rooms to be unpacked. Kitchen definitely needed to be first so she could find her wine and shot glasses, then her bedroom so she could sleep in her own bed tonight. She’d washed and vacuum sealed her bedding before she’d left Arizona so all she had to do was unpack it and make her bed. They wouldn’t be dryer fresh, but they’d be damn near close enough.

  The doorbell rang as she cut open the first box. She smiled when she saw who was on the other side of the peephole.

  Elba wrapped her in a tight hug as soon as she opened the door.

  “You’re here. You’re really here.”

  Zoe laughed, hugging her back. “Where else would I be?”

  “I don’t know.” She let her go and stooped to pick up the cloth grocery bags at her feet, following Zoe into the house. “Somewhere changing your mind?”

  “Nope. I’m here. This is happening.”

  “Okay.” She closed her eyes, touched her middle fingers and thumbs together as if she was meditating and blew out a breath.

  “I got a little nervous this afternoon when they blocked off part of the cafe to knock a huge hole in the wall.”

  Zoe’s eyes widened and she grinned. “Shit’s getting real.”

  Elba mirrored her grin. “Shit is most definitely getting real.” She squealed and did a little shimmy. “I brought sustenance and wine.”

  “Mmm. What did you bring?”

  She held out one of the bags. “A light, spring salad and a simple quiche lorraine.”

  Zoe took the proffered bag. “Simples, meu traseiro.”

  “What’s that mean?”

  She smiled. “Simple, my ass.”

  Elba gave her another impromptu hug. “Oh, I’ve missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you too. I can’t believe it’s been almost ten years.” Zoe led the way to the kitchen and set the bags on the counter.

  “Do you want to eat first and then help me unpack or start unpacking and then eat?”

  Elba looked at her blank wrist. “Oh gosh, would you look at the time?”

  “Elba…”

  “I’m kidding. Let’s eat while it’s still warm. If I stop in the middle of unpacking, I won’t want to start again.”

  Grabbing paper plates and plastic utensils, Zoe cut a slice of quiche. “What’s in the other bag?”

  “Lubricant.”

  “KY or Castrol?”

  Elba threw her head back and laughed. “Margaritas.”

  “Well, in that case, let me get my very best stemware.”

  Zoe set her plate on the counter and grabbed two plastic cups while Elba pulled the large thermos out of the other bag.

  “Do you serve cocktails at the cafe?” Zoe asked.

  Elba shook her head. “I was putting the paperwork together for a beer and wine license, but I’m waiting until the hole is done.”

  “Why?” Zoe took the cup Elba held out to her.

  “I have to submit a floor plan and it’s easier to do that once than it is to file and then resubmit.”

  “Shit. I’m sorry. You should have said something.” Guilt that she’d delayed her friend’s expansion goals landed in her stomach like sour milk.

  “What are you sorry for?” Elba indicated over her shoulder with a thumb. “I figured as soon as I told you all the ideas I have, you’d have at least thirteen lists made.”

  Zoe took a bite of quiche. “What do you have planned?”

  “I was going to wait until you’d had a chance to settle in, but since you asked… The first thing I want to do is expand into dinner service, but it means hiring another chef. Then, I want to partner with local wineries to do a monthly menu tasting paired with their locally produced wine. Advertise it as very exclusive and then have bottles of their wine available at the cafe. I also want to do a monthly wine and books event. Kind of like a book club, but where you invite authors to come in and meet their readers in a relaxed setting. Again, intimate and exclusive.

  Zoe tried to blink away the sting in her eyes.

  “What?” Elba sat up straight in her chair. “Is it too much? We don’t have to do the book thing if you have other ideas.”

  “No.” She shook her head. “I love it. It’s just— After everything that’s happened over the past nine months, it’s fan-freaking-tastic to finally talk to someone that gets it and doesn’t think I’m crazy.”

  “Oh, honey.” Elba set her plate down and pulled Zoe into another hug. “Of course I think you’re crazy. But I also think you’re passionate and determined and can accomplish anything you set your mind to.”

  Zoe took comfort from her friend’s easy affection. “I don’t know what I’m going to do if this fails.”

  “Hey.” She pushed her away and gripped her shoulders. “This is not going to fail. It’s an awesome idea and I saw your business plan. It’s genius. Plus, you have a list.”

  Zoe laughed. “It’s easier to visualize when there’s a list.”

  “I know.” She patted her shoulder and let her go. “I’m a little surprised you only have two up on the wall.”

  “I have another one ready to put up in the office. And one in my planner. And a calendar with a separate timeline.”

  She wiped away a tear she blamed on stress. If she admitted to anything else, the fear and uncertainty she’d so far managed to hold at bay might paralyze her.

  Switching topics, she asked, “When do I get to meet my goddaughter again? The last time I saw her she couldn’t even walk.”

  “Come by the café this weekend for lunch. She’s started helping out for a few hours to earn some money.”

  Zoe sipped her drink. “Isn’t that against child labor laws?”

  “Possibly, but there aren’t enough chimneys in North Carolina for her sweep so it was either putting her out to beg or putting her to work bussing tables.” Elba grinned. “She asked to earn some money. I told her if she helped out in the café she could keep the tips.”

  “What does she need money for?” Zoe leaned against the counter.

  “The Model U.N. club at her school is trying to raise money for a trip to New York to visit the actual U.N.”

  Zoe lowered her glass. “U.N. as in United Nations?”

  “Yup.” Elba over-pronounced the p.

  “In North Carolina?”

  “Yup. Guess whose idea it was to start the club?”

  “April’s?” Zoe asked with a grin.

  “Ding. Ding. Ding. I swear that girl has her sights on being President one day. She’s so smart and determined.”

  “Good for her.”

  “If I didn’t know better, I’d say she was your spawn. That girl drives me to drink.”

  “Speaking of...” Zoe set her glass down and crossed the kitchen. Pulling a bag of lemons from the counter, she held them out to Elba.

  She took them gingerly. “What’s this?”

  “Call me life.”

  “Huh?” Elba’s look of confusion was almost comical.

  “When all the shit started with Mark and I said ‘fuck it,’ I was trying to explain to a friend how I could make such an impromptu decision. I said,
‘when life gives you lemons’ and she said, ‘do tequila shots?’ She was trying to imply my decision was drastic and over the top, but I was like, yeah. Hell, yeah. Who the hell wants to go through life drinking freaking lemonade?”

  She pulled a bottle of Patrón out of the freezer. “My plan for tonight was to do a couple of shots and start crossing things off my to-do list. Want to join me?”

  Elba’s eyes widened. “Oh hell no. I’ll help you unpack, but I remember the last time we did tequila shots. I shouldn’t—but I do.”

  Zoe took two red plastic cups from the stack on the counter, unscrewed the top on the bottle, and poured. “It wasn’t that bad.”

  Elba handed the lemons to her. “I puked for twelve straight hours.”

  Cutting open the bag, she sliced a lemon into wedges on a paper plate. “We were drinking cheap, crappy tequila. This is much better.”

  Holding out a wedge and a cup, she said, “One shot. Call it a celebratory drink to welcome me to North Carolina and the start of my new life.”

  Grumbling, Elba took the shot. “Only because I love you and missed you and am really happy you’re here. Where’s the salt?”

  They both licked the backs of their hands and dusted them with salt.

  Picking up a wedge of lemon, Elba held out her drink. “What are we drinking to?”

  There was so much she could toast. To not being the perfect wife or daughter. To turning her back on everything that sucked the life from her soul. To everything she wanted to accomplish. To being on her own for the first time in her adult life with nothing but a dream and a to-do list.

  She touched her cup to Elba’s. “To new beginnings.”

  Chapter 5

  Tim could hear faint music from the other side of the door when he rang the doorbell.

  A minute later, the door swung open and a petite brunette stood in the doorway. With one hand on the door and the other on her hip, she looked him up and down in an appreciative way.

  She looked over her shoulder and called out, “Hey, Zoe! Someone sent you a stripper-gram.”

  “What?”

  Zoe turned the corner from the kitchen. Her eyes widened when she caught sight of him and her mouth parted, then closed again. A pretty blush colored her cheeks.

  As embarrassing as it was to be confused with a stripper, although it wasn’t the first time a woman had made that assumption of him when he knocked on a door in uniform, it was worth it to see Zoe’s reaction.

  He’d had a hard time keeping her out of his thoughts this past week. Teasing her and watching her get riled up and nervous and more riled up the more nervous she’d gotten had been amusing. When Mrs. Wilson called to inform him a moving truck had blocked the road for most of the day, he’d jumped at the chance to check on Zoe. Sure, he could have checked on her out of neighborly concern, especially since he’d watched over the house for her parents, but having an additional excuse hadn’t hurt.

  Zoe pulled her friend away from the door by the shoulders. “Elba, this is my neighbor Officer Larken.”

  “Tim is fine.” He held out his hand.

  She shook it with surprisingly firm grip. “Yes, you are. I’m Elba.”

  “Elba like—”

  “No, not like elbow with an a,” she said with a scowl.

  “I was going to say like the island.”

  She turned to Zoe. “He’s hot and smart. You should totally sleep with him.”

  “Oh my god.” Zoe pushed her friend away from the door. “I apologize for my friend. She lost her filter in a tragic spelunking accident. Is there something I can help you with?”

  “I received a call from one of the neighbors about a moving truck blocking the road. You were the only one I knew who had moved in lately, so I thought I’d stop by to see how you were settling in.”

  “It was only blocking half the road and it left hours ago. It was old lady Wilson, wasn’t it? I can’t believe she still has it out for me.”

  “Why would she have it out for you?” Elba asked.

  “I shaved her cat when I was fifteen.”

  “You—what?”

  Zoe sighed. “She used to have this long-haired Persian cat when I was in high school that she let run around outside. One summer I found the poor thing panting under some bushes trying to stay cool. So I took it to the groomer and had it shaved.”

  Elba cocked her head. “I can’t imagine why an old lady would be mad that you shaved her pussy.”

  Tim swiped a hand over his mouth, unsuccessfully trying to hide a smile.

  “I swear I told you that story,” Zoe said.

  “Oh no. No, no. I would have remembered a story about you shaving an old lady’s pussy.”

  “Would you stop saying it that way?” Zoe swatted Elba’s arm.

  “Are you kidding? This is gold! I can’t believe I’ve missed out on twelve years of teasing you about shaving an old lady’s pussy.” Elba bent at the waist, overcome with hilarity.

  Tim had a hard time keeping a straight face. He was going to laugh about this for a good long while.

  Zoe pulled her friend farther away from the door. “As you can see, I’m settling in and still have a lot of unpacking to do. Have a good night and please ignore any screams you may hear coming from the house. I’m going to watch a horror movie.”

  Tim stared at the closed door and finally let out the chuckle he’d been holding in. Walking across the yard between their houses, he pictured a younger Zoe struggling to hold down a squirming cat while she took a pair of clippers to it and laughed even harder. Bad sexual innuendos aside, it was a funny story.

  In his bedroom, he removed his utility belt and changed his uniform for workout clothes. Taking his dry cleaning bag downstairs, he set it by the door so he’d remember to drop it off on the way to work in the morning.

  The clock on the wall in the garage showed him stopping by Zoe’s had put him fifteen minutes behind his routine—he was going to have to cut his run short to finish his workout in time to watch Jeopardy! Not that he was complaining, since it’d given him an excuse to talk to her again.

  He scrolled through his phone for a playlist then docked it on the speakers. Cranking up the speed on his treadmill, he tried to determine what it was about Zoe that intrigued him so much even after only two brief encounters. Other than her gorgeous curves. He didn’t know anyone who wouldn’t consider them an asset, but it was more than that. There were plenty of women he’d met since his divorce with curves for days—something about Zoe set her apart. In the quick interactions he’d had with her, she’d been funny and sarcastic, bold and bashful.

  She was a contradiction. For the first time in longer than he could remember, he was interested in a woman. Truthfully, and it had taken him a long time to come to terms with reality, he hadn’t been interested in his wife. He’d felt protective. He’d convinced himself he’d been in love, but he’d never really wanted to know what made her tick.

  He wanted to know what made Zoe tick.

  He finished his workout and headed to the kitchen. Setting water on to boil, he plugged in the counter top grill and pulled out broccoli and marinated chicken breast from the refrigerator. It was simple and easy. He’d tried to keep up the complicated meals he’d made for his ex, but it had been too much food and took too much time. At least simple grilled chicken and steamed vegetables or a salad wasn’t freezer meals. He wasn’t so entrenched in his bachelorhood that he’d sunk that far.

  His home phone rang and he picked it up without looking at the caller ID since there were only three people who would call him at home.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey. Are you working this weekend?” his brother, Jase, asked.

  “I’m off Friday and Saturday. Why?”

  “Bree wants to know if you’ll meet us for lunch downtown.”

  He smiled at the mention of his soon-to-be sister-in-law. He hadn’t been too sure of her and Jase’s relationship at first given the circumstances of how they met, but his brother ha
d come out of his self-imposed solitude and he knew it was because of Bree.

  “Sure. When and where?”

  “Saturday at the weekend market. She wants to ask you a question.”

  “Don’t tell him that!” Bree said in the background.

  “I can’t take a dog.” He threw broccoli into the steamer basket in the pot.

  Bree and her friend Denise were always pestering him to adopt one of their rescue dogs, but his schedule wasn’t conducive to taking care of one.

  “Tim, it’s Bree.”

  He lifted the lid off the grill and poked at the chicken. “Hi, Bree. I can’t take a dog.”

  “Can you at least meet her first before you make a decision? She’s old and lazy. You won’t have to walk her or play with her. Just make sure she goes out a couple of times a day and has a cozy place to sleep at night.”

  He sighed. That sounded like the ideal life. Maybe if he gave in on the laziest dog in the world, they’d stop asking him every week. “All—”

  “She just needs a place short-term until we can find her forever home. And that won’t be long, she’s really a sweetheart.”

  “All right.”

  “Really? You’ll take her?”

  “I’ll meet her. We’ll see how lazy she really is before I make a decision.”

  “Yay! Denise will bring her by Thursday after work. That way you’ll have the weekend with her. Here’s Jase.”

  “Man, you owe me. I bet her a back rub you were going to say no,” Jase said.

  “Sure, I’ll rub Bree’s back.”

  “You’re going to keep your damn hands to yourself.”

  He smirked and pulled his chicken off the grill. “Then why’d you say I owed you?”

  “I’m gonna make you rub my back.”

  “You’ll have to wax it first.”

  “You wish you were this manly.”

  “I don’t need that much fur to be manly. We still meeting this weekend since I agreed to take the dog?”

  Jase repeated his question to Bree. “She said yes, that’s not the only reason to see you. She likes you for some inexplicable reason.”

  “I’d say it’s because she has good taste in men, but she’s marrying you so it can’t be that.”