Snark's Quest

by Timothy Ellis

  Jane was wearing her usual Hunter uniform, with the four stars of a full Admiral on her shoulders. A small tiara like crown on her head, was her only concession to being Queen of Hunter's Run.

  "Warspite," she said, somewhat surprised. "How are you close enough for real time coms?"

  "It’s a bit of a story. You remember when you repaired Snark's ship on the way to the owl homeworld?"

  "Snark? Sure I remember. What's Snark to do with anything? I thought he was on his way home with the trade deal of a lifetime?"

  "He was. But he came across something too hard to ignore."

  "How do you know?"

  "I'm on his ship."

  Jane looked at him for a moment.

  "Yes?"

  She drew the word out, as if speculating about the answer as she said it.

  "I took the opportunity at the time to clone myself to a combat droid, and secrete myself on his ship. We both liked him, and since I am stuck on the border watch with owl space, and bored out of my consciousness, I figured I'd tag along with Snark, and see some of this galaxy."

  "Fair enough, but you should have told me."

  "Maybe, but now the war's over, the rest of us AI's are going to want to do our own thing. This is one of mine."

  "One?"

  "Yes, I'm with the others scouting out a location for our city."

  "Something I'm happy for you all to be doing. So what's Snark got himself into? I can see Seasprite on the nav map in the first Mushroom system, but where is the Wet Minnow?"

  Warspite filled her in. When he finished, Jane went looking for information on the Romanovs and anything related to the Destiny Stone. There wasn’t a lot on the Romanovs, and even less on any such stone.

  "I'm sorry to hear most of them are dead," she said. "I sold them a ship I thought would keep them safe, even considering we knew nothing of things out here back then. Seasprite was an older Earth sector Destroyer, damaged in one of the last battles of the Darkness War. It was therefore one of the first of the warships to jump into Gaia when the Door opened, since I’d sent it off to be repaired. Anna asked for a ship to take them exploring, since they didn’t want to stay in Gaia at all. I let them go, thinking they were safe, since the available nav map didn’t show anything except uninhabited systems. I figured our exploration ships would catch up with them before they could get into trouble."

  "And we all know how that worked out."

  Warspite was grinning.

  "I don’t understand how the ship was so badly damaged."

  "Bad choice of crew I think. As far as I can gather, the captain and ship crew were straight merchant types, with no experience of combat. And by the time they were in combat, more than half of them were dead from purple plant poisoning, and the rest were too sick to fight properly."

  "What about the ship's AI?"

  "It has one?"

  "All the Earth sector ships were upgraded by me, to my specs. They all received AI's. That ship had one when it left."

  "Maybe someone turned it off?"

  Jane opened her mouth in surprise, and closed it again.

  "Maybe. See if you can find out. Also find out why the repair droids didn’t work. Maybe someone turned them off as well. In retrospect, I'm glad I upgraded Snark's repair droids, so they were able to do what they did."

  "I'll see what I can do. Should I announce my presence?"

  "No. Whatever young Romanov is searching for, it's her freewill. She hasn’t asked for help, so we won't offer any. Just keep yourself as an ace in the hole, in case they need one."

  "Will do."

  "Where are they heading?"

  "To visit the Scots."

  Jane laughed.

  "Now that’s a visit worth observing. Keep me informed."

  "Once they figure out where to go next, we may need help keeping the coms working."

  "I'll organize something. Send me where both ships have been so far."

  The AI conference ended, less than a millisecond after it had begun. Jane took another couple of milliseconds to consider how to best help the situation, and sent a message to Tranquil, who was on a freighter now on approach to the Cat Homeworld.

  Once Snark's shipment had been offloaded, she was to backtrack Snark and Seasprite, leaving comnavsats along the way. When she finally caught up with them, she was to continue to shadow them. This was partly to keep coms active wherever they went, in case they needed to call for help, and partly to be help if they did call.

  The response from Tranquil took nearly five minutes to come back, given she was now two sectors away.

  Tranquil was delighted to have something more interesting to do than trading.

  Twelve

  The main city of the Scots, New Glasgow, was a surprise. Anna had had visions of quaint bothies, and ancient rural highland scenes, Tartan clad warriors, and red-haired bonnie lassies.

  New Glasgow was a sleek, well-kept, smallish city with wide open spaces, creative architectural lines, and well-placed landscaping. Sweeping boulevards led to separately laid out districts, some for trade and commerce, some for business, some for living and housing. It was well-thought out and planned, and made the most of both the beach on one side and the beginnings of the mountains on the other. The main river curled around the city, and water played in fountains and features throughout the open spaces. It seemed prosperous, bustling with people in an array of costumes from practical and homely, to even outlandish. There was some tartan around, and both men and women wore skirts. She believed the male version must be the kilt.

  Snark led her through throngs of people in what must be a market day. They passed brightly coloured stalls with all manner of fresh fruit and vegetables, meats, and prepared dishes for sale by street vendors, or at stalls. Familiar and unfamiliar, but appetising, aromas were stimulating her senses. Clothes, goods, and services of all kinds were on offer. A heady mix for someone who'd been confined to spaceships and stations for as long as she had.

  Snark trotted along just in front of her at knee height. He seemed unfazed by the spectacles surrounding them, particularly since the humans over-topped him, but he seemed to know where he was going, and she followed along in his wake. And no one seemed to be overly interested in him as he trotted along on his four legs, centaur-like Meerkat body standing straight up, arms and paws waving gently to clear a way.

  They came to a building, mostly like all the others, but with wide windows and people inside sitting at tables, drinking and eating.

  "The best place for making a deal," exclaimed Snark with a dramatic wave of one arm and paw at the entrance. "A pub!"

  A sign hung over the entrance with a painted stylised head and shoulders in profile and the words 'Mac’s Seat' in English, and also in some other language, which her PC translated to mean the same.

  They’d arrived a standard day earlier at the planet, and had initially been rudely told to "Piss off!" Snark had laughed at them long enough to be recognised, and welcomed like a long lost relative. They’d been shuttled down to the Spaceport, where they were given some tight, if comfortable quarters. The Spaceport was small, given the lack of contact the Scots had with the rest of the galaxy, but functional and neatly laid out.

  They entered the pub and made their way through to the back of the main room, where a tall, middle-aged man dressed outlandishly in a white shirt and a red, blue and green plaid, thrown over the shoulder, was holding what looked to be a "court". Sitting behind the table, he was engaging in conversation with several people at once, making calculations on a tablet, and conferring with a man next to him who rapidly entered information into another tablet, while the other people gesticulated wildly, called for more drinks, argued the point with each other or the tall man, or just got stuck into drinking and eating; or all of this at the same time.

  The general melee paused suddenly as Snark arrived at the table, accompanied by Anna. Anna blushed. They were all looking directly at her. The men with admiration, the women with a mix of emotions
Snark couldn’t quite work out, and didn’t want to get involved with.

  The tall man got to his feet and broke the silence.

  "Bloody hell! Puss! Guid to see ye. Been a wee while."

  Snark jumped onto the table, and the two exchanged handshakes with various hands and paws in some complex ritual.

  "Mac!" said Snark once the initial pleasantries were complete. "I’d like to introduce, Anna. She’s travelling with me at the moment."

  All eyes were on Anna. She almost felt like curtseying, the scene was so bizarre. Instead, she swept her black hair behind her with a toss of her head, and extended a gracious hand to Mac.

  "Pleased to meet you."

  He took her hand, swept a bow, and kissed her gently on the top of her hand.

  "Very pleased to meet ye, yerself as well," he murmured to her.

  She was slightly taken aback, but recalled all her breeding and training. She nodded and smiled, and he let go of her hand.

  A round of frenetic introductions ensued, which Anna could not follow, given the thick accented English and the rapid nature of the exchanges. She just kept smiling. Finally, Mac cleared a space for them at the table by moving others, and she sat down with Snark beside her on a stool. She surreptitiously studied the man called Mac. Gold red hair with a manicured beard, he looked like something out of an old Pirate story. An irregular face which couldn’t really be called handsome, but more determined, and a rather large nose. When he’d kissed her hand, she’d looked directly up into rather cold and calculating, pale steely blue eyes. The man next to him was shorter, rather non-descript with pale skin, dark eyes, and receding dark hair, dressed in black. She saw he’d caught her looking at him, and she smiled politely.

  Snark and Mac seemed deep into some reminiscing of old times. They laughed suddenly, Mac wiped his eyes, and Snark purred loudly.

  "Now! Business!" exclaimed Mac loudly, waving at the bartender, who brought over frothing beer, and what looked like fish and chips. Fish and chips! Anna tucked in, then remembered her manners, and picked carefully at the food. Oh, but it was delicious!

  Mac took a large draught of the beer, and opened the conversation, his accent abating slightly to a more standard one.

  "So, humans in the Galaxy! I’ve heard they not only won against the Owls, they’ve won over the Council. Queen Jane ruling the new Hunter's Run, and new ambassadors from the Human Federation. New friends and neighbours."

  This seemed to be said in rather a snide tone, thought Anna.

  "Queen Jane seemed OK," he went on. "She managed to solve the addiction problem where no one else could. Can’t say I’ve got much time for the rest of them though. It means change. Lots of change."

  "I was there," said Snark. "You only met Jane as she passed through here, and later at the coronation ceremony. Her technology is amazing."

  Snark sipped the beer, and ate the fish, leaving the chips and salad. He neglected to say anything about the Seasprite, but had the idea they were already scanning it in orbit. Mac gave him a sharp look, and then smiled.

  "Trade?" he said to Snark, as he took a huge bite of battered fish.

  "The usual", replied Snark with a purr. "Alcohol for you. Not the best stuff, but I know where to get some real Whisky."

  Mac’s fork stopped in mid-air.

  "Not the real thing? How old? Where?"

  "Queen Jane mentioned it. I’m sure it’s possible to get hold of."

  "Of course, we make our own," Mac noted.

  "Of course," purred Snark.

  "We have a supply of Peekin’ for ye."

  Peekin’ was the name for the local vermin which looked like rats, but with bigger eyes and a longer tail. Snark almost licked his lips in anticipation.

  They fell to haggling, with negotiations seeming to flow as much as the beer. Bored, Anna looked around. She noticed the clientele was a mix of races, not just Caucasian. So much for her notions of Scots, red-haired and freckled! She went back to eating. Negotiations reached a high pitch, and then came an agreement, and the complex handshake again.

  "So, how did you end up travelling with Puss here?" Mac asked Anna.

  Anna looked up with a start. She’d had several explanations readied for this moment, but couldn’t remember them for the life of her. What was wrong with her?

  "Ah Snark, err Puss. Let’s say we have a mutual quest."

  "A quest? Old Puss? I’m intrigued. I’m not sure you should be travelling with an old reprobate like him!" Mac’s eyes now flashed amusement. "I’d like to hear all about it, but business, you know." He waved a hand vaguely. "I’d like you to come to dinner with us at the Manor House tonight. There’s a bit of a shindig happening."

  "Of course we’d be delighted," purred Snark.

  "Of course" repeated Anna.

  A Shindig? Some kind of dinner party? Perhaps she could meet some likeminded people who might help her. Snark was, well, Snark, but it could do to have some backup.

  Twelve

  Anna was stunned.

  Snark could have warned her. A Shindig? Dinner Party? More like a gala dinner dance with at least 50 people! At least she'd dressed the part with a slinky black cocktail dress from the menu for her suit belt. But she felt outclassed. There was some serious one-up-man-ship at work, and not just the women. The men wore a mix of dinner suits, and clan tartan regalia, some putting the women in their evening gowns to shame. She thought of peacocks.

  And the manor house! A replica castle more like. Someone’s idea of a highland lord’s manor house come castle, and enormous. It seemed fairy-tale-like, standing in the main hall of a castle in the middle of a galaxy of assorted aliens, at a gala dinner dance, with Scots gentlemen and ladies, all conversing, drinking, eating what looked like canape snacks served by white and black clad waiters. She took a glass of something bubbly, and helped herself to a canape of what looked suspiciously like a Blini. What was going on? Next there’d be highland dancing and a caber toss!

  She shouldn’t have thought it. In a part of the hall, a space was cleared for dancing, and a demonstration sword dance was in full swing. Scots music was provided with a live band made up of fiddlers, drummers, and bizarrely, was that a bouzouki player?

  Snark was in his element. Everyone seemed to know him well. He’d donned his red slinky suit with a new collar where his translator unit hung beneath his chin and above his third arm. He’d need to slow down on the drink. He was regaling a group of women with a sensational, probably made up, story of space derring-do. They seemed enthralled. Grumpy Snark?

  She wasn’t alone for long. Several clansmen of different types soon surrounded her, introducing themselves, and asking for a dance. Seriously? When she politely refused, they engaged her in social chitchat. She found it disturbing, mainly because she didn’t have any, chitchat that was. What could she say? She was a Russian princess? She was on a mission to find the Destiny Stone in the far reaches of the galaxy? She was travelling with a four legged, three armed cat? She had lost all of her people?

  That brought her up short. She needed to focus.

  Suddenly the room quietened. A loud droning, and then whining, grinding sound started up, which soon started to shriek. She blocked her ears with her fingers. No-one else seemed to be worried by the noise. An organ like note started, followed by a tune, and a clansman in full regalia stepped forward playing, what was it? The noise was deafening. Her PC supplied a name. Bagpipes. The piper led the way, and Mac appeared escorting a white-haired older woman in a glistening gown, followed by other men and women. They processed through the gathering of people, and through to the next room. As they passed the other guests fell in behind them.

  Snark found Anna and they followed the rest into dinner.

  In the dining room, there were a number of tables spread out with one at the head of the room. Another space was set out, and yes there was obviously going to be dancing as the band started to play once the piper had finished.

  Anna leaned over to Snark where they were sit
ting.

  "You could have told me it was a formal dinner dance."

  Snark looked quizzical. He was semi curled on a pile of cushions on the chair next to her.

  "I didn’t know", he replied with a twitch of his tail. "But yes, I should have guessed."

  "And just who is Mac? He must be important."

  Snark stopped chewing on a chicken wing, and contemplated.

  "Yes. He’s Himself. The Laird. The leader of the Clan McLauchlan. They more or less settled the planet. Although he’s not the world leader or anything, not like a Kingdom, it’s a democracy of sorts. Different clans have different leaders, but the McLauchlans are in the ascendency. At the moment, anyway. Actually, it's more complicated than that. Mac is also the Duke of Scotland on the Hunter's Run Duke's Circle. Technically he rules here as far as the Kingdom is concerned, but the Duke is actually only ceremonial here, and only because he made the deal with Jane, when no-one else was able to. There is still a lot of arguing going on about it."

  Anna looked over at the head table.

  "And the White-haired lady?"

  "That’s his mother."

  As if she had heard him, the older woman turned her head, and gazed in their direction.

  Something stirred in Anna’s senses. The gaze locked with hers. The room dimmed, and she could see, a stirring, something cold and evil, a sinister presence waiting in the shadows. Something, frightening and completely unknown, unknowing, unknowable. Cold.

  "Anna?"

  The lights were bright in her eyes again, and she blinked. Snark was saying something. She came back to the room.

  "Where were you?"

  "Just too much bubbly!" she managed to say.

  Her fingers were trembling as she reached for a water glass, and then pulled back. Her hands were shaking too much.

  Snark got up to dance. The people on the dance floor had obviously had a bit too much to drink, and were starting to get into the dance enthusiastically. Some were doing a fling, jig and reel, and Snark tried to imitate them. Three arms up in the air, while his four heels variously clicked with each other, and his legs flailed around. Things were getting loud and raucous. People were drinking heavily, laughing, calling out to each other across the room, and larking about.