Snark's Quest

by Timothy Ellis

  The security guards stopped the pursuit, and looked up at the stage in bewilderment.

  "He was resisting arrest!" stated one, while the other nodded in agreement.

  "Nonsense."

  The Grand Mother beckoned, and Snark climbed onto the podium.

  Several of the delegates also leaped to their feet at recognition of Snark.

  "Traitor!" shouted one.

  "Thief!" shouted another.

  "Murderer!" shouted a third.

  General mayhem broke out as several of the delegates and guests argued with each other, and started to hiss, spit, growl, and generally get narky.

  On the podium, Snark hugged his Grandmother.

  "I’m a little late. Sorry about this mess."

  She smiled at him, and bumped noses with him.

  "I’m glad to see you," she managed.

  Snark also smiled, which was followed by a sheepish look, if a cat could be sheepish.

  "I need to tell you…" but he came to a halt as the room fell suddenly silent.

  The cats had all turned to the back of the room where two figures stood.

  The silence was broken by some shrieks, screams, cries of surprise, and general disbelief. Some cats at the back of the room, backed away from the entrance where the two figures stood. Several cats started growling, a low rumble that grew.

  Snark turned back to his Grandmother.

  "I wanted to tell you. I’ve brought some friends."

  "Bring your friends with us."

  To the room at large, she announced a recess, and led Snark out, while he beckoned his friends to follow them.

  They made their way to a conference room at the side of the main hall. As a smaller room, the ceiling height was lower, and the humans had to stoop a little. The Grand Mother stood at her full height, and it was only to the human woman’s knees.

  Behind them, fights were still going on, but most of the delegates had been ushered out, and the Wild Ones went to their lounge area.

  The Grand Mother was in shock, but had quickly nerved herself to make the humans welcome. She'd recognised them immediately from her dream, but didn’t say anything about it.

  Anna and Jamie were trying to make themselves comfortable on some cat seats, but were finding it difficult. They perched awkwardly, and rested their elbows on the conference table. Which was quite low.

  They all had standard tablets, which contained the translator units, and the earbuds fitted for each kind of ear so each could hear a translation without it being heard by anyone else. Although Anna didn’t mention her PC interface, since she didn’t need the tablet, but appearances had to be maintained, lest questions be asked she wasn’t equipped to answer. Aides were already updating cat units for all human languages, courtesy of Snark.

  "I welcome you to the Cats of the Plains City," said the Grand Mother formally.

  "Thank you," said Anna, also in a formal tone. "We’re very pleased to be here."

  "Aye indeed, thank ye," echoed Jamie.

  They all looked at each other blankly.

  Snark coughed.

  "I’d like to introduce Anna Romanova, and Jamie Anderson." He indicated to his Grandmother. "The Grand Mother of the Cats of the Plains."

  They all nodded at each other. Snark went on.

  "Anna comes from a sub-race of humans called Russians, and is the first of the Human Federation to venture this far out into the galaxy, having left before their purple plant blockade went into effect. Jamie hails from the Scots' world which recently joined the Kingdom of Hunter's Run. The Grand Mother leads this planet, and is also my grandmother."

  An aide leaned across to the Grand Mother, and whispered in her ear. She nodded.

  "This is a surprise," she started, quite unnecessarily really, but it provided an opening. "We had recalled Prrinks, but didn’t know he had some human companions."

  "You don’t know a lot about me," Snark commented wryly. "Ok, that’s not fair. I haven’t really filled you in. It’s been a long time."

  "Yes, my grandson, it has."

  Jamie cleared his throat.

  "Sorry for the inconvenience," he said lamely.

  The Queen Mother and her aide looked a bit quizzically at their translator units. Evidently the Scots accent was not picking up terribly well.

  "Prrinks?" asked Anna, looking at Snark.

  "My name. The translator algorithms have improved a lot since I first met Jane. She called me Snark, because the original translators didn’t translate my name at all."

  Anna nodded, and looked directly at the Grand Mother.

  "We’re delighted to be here, but we understand humans have never been to your world before. Of course, we didn’t want to cause trouble, but we thought we could support Snark in giving you some information about our species."

  The Grand Mother stifled a laugh.

  Snark looked a bit guilty, but didn’t comment. Snark was the noise a female of the species used when she was ready to mate.

  Anna and Jamie looked a bit confused, but Anna continued on.

  "We have our own mission, but have come to the Cat's Homeworld to help Snark persuade you to form an alliance with Queen Jane. There are enormous benefits in being one of the first species to form such a partnership. And Snark’s friendship with Queen Jane will be of enormous benefit in cementing the ties between human civilisation and the cats of this world."

  The Queen Mother had been a bit distracted, but now was listening intently. This is exactly what she had been hoping Prrinks would be able to do. Especially convince the Council to establish beneficial links with Queen Jane. The other humans were an unknown quantity, and these ones could help them in that area as well.

  She didn’t say any of it of course. Instead, she coughed.

  "We’d prefer if you used Snark’s cat name while you're here."

  Things were bad enough re Snark’s background without such a faux pas as using this human name.

  "He should be referred to as Prrinks."

  "Of course," agreed Anna.

  She smiled warmly, hoping she was making a positive impression.

  "I’d like to offer you some refreshments," said the Grand Mother smoothly, while wondering what humans ate and drank. "Please rest here. I’ll return shortly."

  She got up, ushering Snark from the room with her. The aide followed.

  "Prrinks, where have you been?"

  "It was lucky I got your message at all."

  "Well I’m glad you did make it."

  She studied him. He was certainly older, and perhaps wiser, but she didn’t think so.

  "What are you wearing?"

  Snark indicated his suit with a wave of his arms.

  "Present from Queen Jane," he said proudly. "They wear clothes as you can see, and well, her ship was cold, and it seemed the done thing. I've grown used to wearing this outfit, which is actually the uniform of the Hunter military, albeit without insignia."

  "Humph," she snorted. "We don’t have time for a full briefing, but I want you to liaise with Prritchet here," she said, indicating her aide. "Do you have any evidence for your innocence of the charges against you?"

  "None, I’m afraid. I was framed. You know that. I didn’t do it."

  She sighed. It was a difficult issue which had to be faced. He'd been exiled years before, due to charges of theft, corruption, and murder. The Grand Mother knew he was innocent, and suspected he'd been framed by several of his enemies, for crimes he certainly didn’t commit. However there was evidence which implicated him, and none pointing to any other perpetrator. It was only her intervention which had allowed him to flee, rather than be charged and tried.

  "You took a great risk in coming back home," she said. "But I’m glad you did. We'll finally clear you of this thing hanging over your head." She indicated her aide. "Talk to Prritchet about what you know of the humans, and any other threats which may be facing us. I’d like you to address the World Council as soon as possible." She paused. "Would your friends be ab
le to address the Council as well?"

  "Anna would. Jamie might struggle. Or cats might struggle to understand the translation. The Scots are a long ago offshoot of the humans, and have kept their original dialect, making them difficult for even other humans to understand at times."

  "Hmmm. Anna is rather impressive."

  Snark hesitated.

  "Look Grandmother. I know you want what’s best for the cats. I think the cats should take advantage of the opportunities the humans can bring. But there may be a dark side. Can we really trust them? Some of the humans seem fair and reasonable, but are they like cats, and there are some which are not? Until the Human Federation remove their blockade and come out into the galaxy, and let others in, we won't know what they are truly like. And there are also some other forces in the galaxy which may be ranged against us."

  She was nodding.

  "Bhatet and the Brotherhood."

  "Yes. And there may be others we don’t know of taking advantage of the power vacuum."

  "We need you to advise us. Do you trust the humans?"

  Snark thought carefully.

  "I trust Queen Jane. That’s what I know. And that’s what I’ll say."

  The Grand Mother sighed. It was going to be as complex as ever.

  "Then that’s what you should say."

  "We need to reconvene and finish the session. Later, you can fill me in on everything."

  Twenty Eight

  The session reconvened, with hastily found seats for the two humans on the platform, accommodating their height and form. Snark sat next to the Grand Mother, who now stood.

  "This session is reconvened. There are some changes to the agenda. Prrinks will address the session."

  She sat down again. There was some growling, as well as some cheers. Snark recognised several old friends as well as enemies.

  He stood, shuffling his feet, and one of them shook a little. He wasn’t used to public speaking.

  "Cats," he said, and stopped.

  His thoughts seemed to have left him. He saw an old girlfriend winking at him. It cheered him up. He grinned.

  "I’m Prrinks. Some of you know I was charged with some serious offences. I was framed. I was exiled. I've been away from the Cat Homeworld for what seems a lifetime. I was lucky to meet up with Queen Jane, at a time when she was just Admiral Jane. She was their highest ranking military leader, and the first to leave their new home on the outer edge of sector ten. She is a good person. She rescued me from a lonely death in deep space, and she liberated a number of species who'd been conquered by the Owls. She is fair, and just, committed, and compassionate. And very trustworthy. I trust her."

  He took a moment to get his breath, and looked around the room. He had their attention fully now.

  "But I wouldn’t want to be her enemy. She is relentless, and very powerful. Their technology is awesome. Their ships are bigger, stronger, and faster than any of our galaxy species. The ships I travelled in move ten times faster than ours, although granted, I saw the best they had in action. Older, slower ships maintain their blockades, but even these are too formidable for us to challenge and hope to win."

  He shifted his position. No-one else moved.

  "They have a communication network which allows our standard emails to arrive across vast distances in mere minutes, rather than the days to weeks we consider normal now. One of our first actions in dealing with Queen Jane is to have this network extended to our space. It will cost us, but the benefits of almost instantaneous transmission of emails would more than cover the cost."

  He paused for effect, gauging the reactions around him. He saw understanding and nods from some.

  "Queen Jane took but seven ships to war against the Owls. We travelled in a Corvette. This, the smallest ship size in their fleet, destroyed an entire twenty five Cruiser owl fleet on its own, and suffered exactly zero damage."

  A muttering swept across the room.

  "Her main force comprised four Battleships, and two Dreadnaughts. The smaller ships were more than twice the size of the owl Cruisers."

  He paused, waiting for the question he knew was coming.

  "How many crew on her ships?" asked one of the few cat military people present.

  "Two."

  Silence.

  "Dog droppings!" yelled someone from the back.

  "Let me clarify. There were two people on one ship, plus me. I'm not joking. Jane controlled the whole fleet, as a single ship, from her command chair on the Corvette, docked up inside one of the Dreadnaughts. She defeated and destroyed the Owls’ massive battle fleets in what seemed like moments. And when I say defeated, I mean destroyed. Pulverised. Transformed into dust. With one shot."

  There was total silence in the hall. The cats didn’t even seem to be breathing, it was so quiet.

  "The humans are not a species we wish to be mad at us. As far as I can gather, Jane is a moderate among her people. Had she allowed her more militant commanders loose, the Owls might now be extinct."

  He could see fear in a lot of eyes. He changed tacks.

  "Queen Jane is open to making alliances, and fostering trade. She is my friend, and I’m proud to say so. The Kingdom of Hunter's Run now includes humans, the Scots planet I've traded with for many years, the sector ten mouse planet where hunting is now banned, the flies, ducks, and bald eagles. The later three have unique products which have been missing from trade for decades. The humans have some unique products as well, including a light soft metal they call aluminium, and many new beverages, one of which proved to be the link necessary to cure the purple plague."

  He paused for breath again.

  "I bring the cure with me, provided freely by the Human Federation, and I also have the formula for making it, given away freely by Queen Jane. This in itself will force a shake up across the galaxy, since drug running the purple plant will now be pointless, since the cure is freely available to anyone who wants it, and in sector ten, all ships are required to carry it, in case they meet someone who needs it."

  He saw a mixture of nods, smiles, and frowns.

  "I see some of you realize the implications. Others of you don't. But I doubt any of you understand the true impact on trade the humans bring. How many of you saw the large freighter which docked at our orbital station last week?"

  Middle arms raised around the room, but more than half had not.

  "The ship was one of Jane's personal freighters. It is Cruiser sized, but most of its internal space is cargo storage. It's operated by a single officer, and can deliver more cargo than three of our largest ships, nearly ten times faster than they could."

  He looked around the room. Those who knew trade were looking poleaxed.

  "The ship was delivering my first shipment of the very best in owl rodents, direct from their homeworld. The first delivery was a favour to me from Queen Jane, but more are coming as she makes ships available for me to hire."

  He emphasized the 'me'.

  "Jane has but a few available trading ships. The Human Federation has tens of thousands! They may not be as fast as Jane's ships, but they will soon wash across the galaxy like a tsunami."

  He paused again to watch this bombshell land. He wasn’t disappointed.

  "I see a few speculative expressions, which might indicate some of you are pondering trying to take some of these ships away from their owners. I thought this at first myself. But be warned. The Freighter which docked here last week still carried the same firepower as a warship. It is a warship, adapted to carry freight without a full crew. If anyone is stupid enough to attack one of these ships, well, we'll understand when you vanish without trace."

  His grin flashed, but was short lived. He knew most human trading ships were armed, but only Jane used full warships. He wasn’t telling anyone else though.

  "What should the Cat World do I hear some of you ask? I say, be Queen Jane’s friend, and trade with the Hunter's Run humans. We can trust them. But we should still be wary of humans in general, like any other sp
ecies. I haven’t met the ones from the Human Federation yet, so I would advise caution. Like any other species, there are likely good and bad, groups and individuals. So we should be on guard. My friends here," he indicated Anna and Jamie with a wave of one arm, "are not of either Hunter's Run, or the Federation. Anna Romanova is an individual traveller who left human space before the Federation became a political entity, and Jamie Anderson is from an existing human planet from this part of the galaxy, now shifted from being isolationist, to joining the Kingdom. They can speak for the humans and their species."

  He looked around the room again.

  "What I do know? We can’t stay still. We can’t long for the past. We must move forward. We must embrace and take advantage of the opportunities we will have with trade with the humans. Opportunities I have already seized for myself and those who partner with me. There will be great change, and it will be hard. But we can adjust, and go with it, and make the most of it. The coming of humans will offer some incredible opportunities to those with the foresight to grasp them as they appear. But for those who oppose change, it may end up being forced on them by others who do take up the challenges. For those who choose to oppose the human advance into the galaxy, I would suggest you tidy up your affairs before you do, and make sure your burial plot is ready for what little may remain of you after you piss the humans off."

  He grinned around the room.

  "This council must choose for this world. Now you know what you needed in order to make that choice."

  He sat down.

  There was silence. And then someone clapped, and another, and another, until it was a roaring sound in his ears.

  There were some who were shouting against him, he knew, and he would deal with them later.

  But he was home. He had come home. And the majority were applauding him.

  Twenty Nine

  The session ended soon after. Several delegates, Snark's enemies, had stood to denounce him, and several others had supported him. But the general sense seemed to be most delegates and guests were neutral, and cared more about what was said, than who said it.

  The Grand Mother sat at the head of a circle of seats in the great lounge, a space specially created in her den. The Wild One representatives were there, some key invited cat guests, and Snark and the humans. The humans would be more comfortable here, as the space had been specially created for the Wild Ones, and some of these were large beings.