Sweet Obsession

by Theodora Koulouris

  Chapter Ten

  Loula

  Three months had passed since the day Nidal and his army had left for the war. The queen and I were sipping our tea in the tearoom by the huge windows that overlooked the water fountain. The rain pelted on the glass hard as the lighting flashed everywhere across the dark sky. I looked out and saw a man on a horse riding toward the palace. My heart pounded rapidly. Could it be Nidal? The queen turned and looked in the direction I was looking, and we both stood and ran to the window at the same time.

  The rider got closer. We noticed it was not Nidal. It was a soldier from Nidal’s army. We raced down the hall and ordered the servants to open the palace doors. The man entered, dripping water everywhere on the multicolored marble stone floor. The servants quickly took off the man’s boots, and the queen, after greeting him, told him to follow the servants to the other room where he would find dry clothes to change into.

  The wet man thankfully followed the servants. Minutes later, he came out of the room escorted by the servants and was brought to the tea room, where we sat patiently for him to tell us some news of the war. He started by telling us that, thus far, there were no casualties. Upon hearing those words, I was so thankful to God for taking care of the king, Billal, all the men, and, above all else, my Nidal, the love of my life. The queen and I hugged each other and cried happy tears, and then we started asking a million and one questions at the same time.

  The man, Jafar, said he was sent back to us to let us know that they were safe and not to worry. He then told us that the war was dragging out across Persia, and it would be months before they returned. My heart sank at the news of this. How am I supposed to live without Nidal for so long? I wanted to share the news of our baby with him. I wanted Nidal to hold me in his strong arms again. I wanted to lie in bed with him and make love to him. Feeling emotional, I cried out loud, not caring who witnessed it. I was heartbroken. I wanted Nidal to come back now.

  The man looked uncomfortable. His finger combed his short, black beard thoughtfully as he sat quietly in his chair. He did not know how to respond as he looked down at his cup and added a few more sugar cubes into his tea. When he finally looked up, I saw him look at me with respect and adoration as he sat there without saying a word, allowing me to cry my heart out. His eyes looked sad. I wondered if he too had someone for whom his heart ached for.

  The queen was concerned for my welfare and came and sat next to me, trying to comfort me. Neither one of us told the man that I was expecting. Except for the doctor, the seamstress, the queen, and me, no one else knew. I wanted Nidal to find out first before we told anyone else. When the time came that I could not hide my pregnancy anymore, the servants would be sworn to secrecy.

  The man hesitated for a few minutes, and then said, “Nidal has led his countrymen to the other side of the border, where they met their allies. There they rested, and then they joined forces with the Turks, and continued on their way to fight the Persians. That was weeks ago,” Jafar said carefully, as he tried without success not to alarm us. “By now they are probably in the midst of war.” He sighed and his shouders slumped, and my heart went out to him. “Your Majesty, I have to leave first thing in the morning. It will take me about three weeks to catch up to them. If you will excuse me now, I will go and get some much-needed rest.” He rose and walked over to where the queen sat and bowed before her.

  The queen smiled smiled up at him. “Jafar, go get your rest. We will see you in the morning.”

  Jafar followed the servant to the guest room. As he walked away, I noticed that his posture was terrible. His shoulders were slouched, and he walked with a limp. Clearly this man had seen better days in his life. My heart went out to him. I wondered if he had a wife and children. Does someone cry for him to come home, as I cried for Nidal’s return?

  I looked at the queen with a worried face. “Mother, do you think they are fine?” I asked when we were alone again, hesitating only a few seconds while I searched her face for reassurance. But I found none, for she too was just as worried as I was.

  “I can’t stand it anymore, Mother,” I cried. “I want Nidal to come home now. I miss him terribly!” I choked back a sob.

  “Now, now, don’t get too emotional. It is not good for the baby,” said the queen with concern as she raced up to me and hugged me. “Our men are just fine, Loula. Soon they will come home, and we will celebrate their return!”

  She was a miserable liar.

  We comforted each other a while longer until we got tired, and then we said our good nights. It was a long night. I was tossing and turning and thinking and crying. The last words Nidal had said to me right before he left were playing in my mind over and over again.

  When morning finally arrived, the queen and I had breakfast with Jafar. He ate with a huge appetite, but the queen and I picked at our food with our forks. We did not feel hungry. The queen told the servants to pack up food and wine for Jafar’s trip back. When it was time for the man to leave, we walked our guest outside to his horse and said our good-byes. He rode away, but not before reassuring us that our country would find victory in this war and they would return soon. But even as he spoke those words, we all knew, including Jafar, that the outcome was in God’s hands alone. I stood there watching a stranger ride away, not knowing if we would ever meet again.

  The queen and I walked back inside the palace, and I noticed that the servants were bustling about, cleaning the marble floors, and sneaking peeks at me with curiosity. They knew I was keeping a secret. They just did not know what it was.

  Today during brunch, I thought of the children at the orphanage, and I asked the queen if I could resume my teachings there. She smiled and agreed that it would be a good distraction. The children were so excited to see me again. They all came running to me and hugged me. The queen, worried about the baby, pulled the children away from me, but I reassured her that it was all right. I needed their hugs because I missed them greatly. Little Natalie was sitting by herself in the corner. She was the only child who did not come and hug me. When I looked her way, she put her head down and cried softly.

  I walked up to her and asked her if she had missed me, and Natalie nodded her head sadly without looking up. She swung her legs back and forth. Natalie was by far the most adorable child I had ever laid eyes on. My heart went out to her. I reached for her, and she slid off her seat and jumped in my arms. Her Majesty immediately put a protected hand between Natalie and my stomach. I smiled and told her that was not necessary. It was only a hug.

  Five ladies attended to the children day in and day out. They cleaned, cooked, and dressed the children. They were nice, and they did their job well. But it was just a job to them. They lacked the mother’s touch that these children desperately needed. I was glad to be back. I would give them what they craved. The queen made it her duty to come with me every day to the children and keep an eye on me. She wanted to make sure I was not overdoing it.

  I noticed that the queen had taken a special liking to Natalie, as I had. What is it about that child that draws us to her? Could it be that she reminds the both of us of Nidal? Those blue eyes were captivating. The queen loved all the children, as I did, but we both shared a special interest in Natalie that was different from the way we felt about the rest of the children. They were all special to us, but little Natalie stole our hearts.

  The queen made sure I did not exhaust myself with the children at the orphanage. She made sure I had enough rest, ate all my vegetables, and exercised every day. She drove me nuts, but I loved every minute of it. I knew she would lay down her life for my baby and me. It made her very happy to occupy her time with me, so I allowed her to spoil me rotten. I needed the distraction, and I also desperately needed a mother figure in my life.

  The days turned to months, and the baby bump was showing. The queen rounded up all the servants and told them that I was pregnant with her grandchild. I heard a
ll the gasps, and then they all congratulated me, one by one. The queen told them that no one was to leak out the information. It was to remain confidential. No one outside the palace should know. They were all sworn to secrecy, and then they went about their daily chores.

  One day as the queen and I were sipping our tea, I felt a little flutter inside my stomach. I quickly put my hand on my stomach and sat in silence, not breathing. The queen’s eyes popped open, and she ran to my side.

  She too put her hands on my stomach and asked excitedly, “Loula, did you feel the baby move inside you?”

  “Yes, I did, Mother,” I cried happily.

  As I said that, the baby fluttered again. The queen could not feel the fluttering, and she stepped back, disappointed. “I can’t wait for my grandchild to start kicking. Loula, you have brought me so much joy. Thank you, dear.” She smiled.

  That night, I could not sleep. I waited all night for the fluttering, but I did not feel the baby move again until about a week later.

  The days came and went, and the queen and I were busy with the children and the preparations for a separate room. I told the queen that I expected the baby to sleep in our room the first year and not in the baby’s room. She hesitantly agreed, not wanting to upset me, but I could tell she wanted the baby in its own room, where she could cater to him day and night and spoil him rotten. I knew she would make a wonderful grandmother, and I loved her so much for that.

  I felt huge now that I was almost seven months pregnant. I wobbled around the palace like a duck. The queen said I was glowing. But glowing or not, I still looked fat. The maternity dresses were being let out every couple of weeks. I was growing at a fast pace. The doctor’s last visit had been a week ago. He told us all was good and not to worry. He said the weight I was gaining was normal, and for the last trimester, he said I should expect more weight gain. I was horrified. I did not want to look too fat. What would Nidal say when he saw me?

  The baby kicked so much that I thought he was playing ball in there. The queen laughed with excitement, saying her grandson was an athlete. We focused all our thoughts and energy on my precious baby and decorating the baby’s room. The queen ordered the most expensive baby furniture I had ever seen. A gold crib, silk sheets, and satin blue ribbons, for it was a boy she assured me. The painter finished with the blue walls, and the servants hung the satin blue curtains on the windows. There was a solid black cherry dresser with gold knobs, and it was filled to the max with baby clothes. There was every kind of wooden toy a child’s heart desired. The queen went overboard.

  The children at the orphanage were also getting excited about the baby’s birth, all but Natalie, who feared the baby would take her new mommy away from her. I made it my business to explain to Natalie that no one would take her place. She was my little girl and always would be. My heart went out to her. I loved her so much. I loved all the children, and I wanted to make them feel like we were all one big happy family. I included all of them with news of my pregnancy. Every day we talked about the baby, and I noticed that even Natalie was getting excited about the baby’s arrival.

  One morning, I woke up, dressed, and went to have breakfast with the queen. I did not have much of an appetite anymore, but the queen insisted I eat with her at every mealtime. I abided by her wishes just to make her happy. She was good to me, and I wanted to please her any way I could. So I ate eggs and bacon and drank my freshly squeezed orange juice, and we discussed the agenda for the day.

  After breakfast, I went to my room. I was given a different bedroom now. This one was upstairs. The queen said we should sleep next door to the baby’s room. It had a connecting door to our room. I did not mind at all. The new room did not have any memories of mine and Nidal’s lovemaking in it, and it felt like I was starting fresh. It took my mind off many things that were better left alone for the baby’s sake.

  I changed into another gown and slipped into comfortable slippers when I heard commotion outside my door at that moment. I opened it and saw the servants scrambling about, happily singing, “The king is back!”

  My heart pounded fast in my chest as I ran to the window, and I could not believe what I saw. They were back. Nidal was back! Tears rolled down my face as I watched Nidal on his black stallion lead his men to the palace. Excitedly, I raced to the side of the room, swung open the doors that led to the balcony, and stepped outside.

  And there was Nidal and thousands of his men behind him. I saw the queen crying down below and waiting patiently for her husband and son to come to her. At that moment, I looked at Nidal, and he turned and looked up at me. We stared at each other for a few minutes. It was as if time stood still. I could not take it anymore. I turned around and ran inside. I wanted to go downstairs and greet him, throw myself in his arms, and tell him how much I loved and missed him.

  But when I reached the stairs, my body was overwhelmed, and it slowed me down. A few servants came to me and asked if I needed help. I shook my head and held on to the banister. When I stepped off the last step, I hurriedly walked to the double wooden doors that stood open and stepped outside just in time to see Nidal turn with his horse and ride away. I ran fast down the palace stairs that led to the cobblestone street, yelling his name as loud as I could. Nidal did not hear me as he continued to ride away. I called his name a few times, and by now, his men saw me and were trying to get his attention to tell him I was out there for him.

  There was too much noise for Nidal to hear what anyone was telling him. Finally everyone was pointing my way and chanting my name. Nidal turned and saw me. I stopped to breathe a second because I was out of breath, and I saw Nidal’s face light up when his eyes rested on my face. Then his eyes roamed to my stomach, and he looked confused. When realization struck him, his eyes widened with surprise. Then everyone was quiet, waiting to see what would happen next.

  Nidal jumped off his horse and walked slowly toward me. He looked like a mighty warrior. His tall, lean, powerful body was even browner than I remembered it to be. He was not wearing a shirt, and his muscles flexed with every step he took. His black hair hung loose over his shoulder, and he had a short beard growing on his handsome face. I drew in a deep breath, and my heart pounded rapidly as he approached me. When he was a few feet away from me, his glance lowered to my stomach, and he paused and looked overwhelmed. He opened his mouth to say something, but at that moment, I felt a pain in my side and passed out.

  Next thing I knew, I was in Nidal’s arms, and he was carrying me to our old room. He placed me on the bed and asked if I were feeling better. I could not speak. I was at a loss for words. The queen came bustling in, followed by the king and Billal. The servants stood outside the entrance waiting for the prince’s orders. Nidal yelled for someone to get the doctor and then ordered a wet cloth to be placed on my forehead.

  Nidal searched my face for answers. He placed his hand on my stomach and swallowed. The baby kicked at that very moment. Nidal’s eyes popped open, and he asked with excitement, “Was that our baby I just felt?”

  Before I could even answer his question, he placed his lips on mine and kissed me tenderly. I thought I would die from all the love I was feeling at this very moment. The words “our baby” sent a warm feeling to my heart.

  The king and queen hugged and kissed each other and quietly left the room, closing the door behind them. I looked at Nidal. He was staring at me quietly. He looked so handsome. I choked back a sob. I had missed him terribly. Nidal looked at me from head to toe and then rested his eyes on my face.

  Tears were in his eyes as he spoke. “Loula,” he said hoarsely, “why did you not tell me you were carrying my child?” He placed kisses on my stomach. Our baby was kicking wildly. Nidal’s hands were around my stomach now, waiting to feel his child. He laughed, he cried, and he kissed my stomach until he was worn out.

  At that moment, the doctor burst open the door and ordered Nidal to step aside. Nidal jump
ed quickly out of the way, and the doctor asked me a hundred questions. I assured him I was fine, and he relaxed. He told Nidal that I needed a lot of rest and I should always eat a healthy diet. He concluded that under no circumstances was I to be stressed out, saying it was not good for the baby. Nidal thanked the doctor and rushed him out of the room. He locked the door, came back to the bed, and sat next to me.

  He looked tired, hungry, and dirty, and my heart went out to him. “Nidal,” I said softly, taking his hands in mine, “you need to take a bath, eat something, and go straight to sleep. You look exhausted,” I told him, concerned.

  Nidal ignored my remark, took me in his arms, and kissed me hungrily. Immediately, my body responded to his touch. Then he let go of me abruptly and went to the bathroom where the servants had the tub with hot, steaming water waiting for him. When he was done, he came back and stopped near the bed naked, except for a towel wrapped around his waist.

  He stood before me, legs spread apart, with his warrior body, and I struggled to tame the emotions coursing through me. Nidal flexed his muscles. He was teasing me. His nostrils flared, and his eyes darkened as his gaze searched mine. My eyes roamed across his bronzed, broad, muscled chest. His body looked toned and sexy. Then with one swift movement, he pulled the towel, and it dropped to the floor. I stared at his beautiful, naked body hungrily. His manhood was rock solid. Desire surged through my veins. Desperately, I reached for him and waited with a thundering heart.

  His eyes were fierce and wild as he jumped on the bed and pulled me into his embrace. His hips leaned against my body, and I felt his manhood piercing my skin. Desire shuddered through me so intensely that a moan escaped my lips.

  His hands were burning my skin with his every touch. He leaned his head, and his lips brushed mine, sending ripples of sensation throughout my entire body. I was drowning in ecstasy. Nidal’s hands softly caressed my breasts, and they were tender to his touch. I felt shy and embarrassed of my new body, a body Nidal was not used to. I wondered if he could enjoy making love to me even though I was big with child.