Sweet Obsession

by Theodora Koulouris

  Finally, she spoke, “Nidal, if you die, I will die too, for I too cannot live a life without you in it. You are my everything. I love you so much that I hurt just thinking about it. I will never stop loving you.” She fell into my arms, and we kissed like there was no tomorrow.

  “I need to make love to you. It’s been so long, and I can’t wait any longer.” I looked into her eyes and saw the depth of her love for me in them.

  Loula took me by the hand and pulled me further back in the gardens, to the place I hid when I was a child. I looked around, and it was secluded. Loula pulled the strings to my pantaloons, and I was beside myself with lust. I undid the ties on the back of her gown, and as it dropped to the floor, I saw Loula standing there stark naked. Her nipples were ripe and full, and there was a baby bump. My hands caressed her stomach lightly.

  I closed my eyes and allowed my hands to feel every inch of her stomach, and I said hoarsely, “I know this is my child you are carrying. Don’t even try to deny it. I know without a doubt that what I say is true! I am the father. This is my baby, Loula!” The tears slid down my face.

  Loula was speechless. She did not say a single word. I could tell she was very emotional. She too had tears rolling down her cheek as well. I wanted to find comforting words to say to her, but I knew not what to tell her. These were troubling times. Loula was not in favor with the king; nor was I. We were on our own. My father was the most powerful man in Arabia. With a snap of his finger, he could destroy us. He had it out for Loula. She was in grave danger, but I would not tell her so. I did not wish to alarm her. She was with child, and I did not want to frighten her any more than she already was.

  I focused on something positive, like the fact that my heart sang a happy song whenever she was in my arms and the fact that she carried my child in her womb. Right now, here in the garden on this glorious day, I held her, and I knew without a doubt that her heart belonged to me.

  I quickly undressed, and we both fell down on the green grass. As I entered her, my name was on her lips as she gave herself to me. This woman was my life, and as I spilled my seed in her, I looked into her eyes. I knew she was in total submission at this very moment in my arms. Spent, I rolled off her and wiped the tears from her face. These were tears of joy. I knew this because I too had the very same kind of tears rolling down my face.

  We only had a few minutes left to be together. Lingering in this garden, together like this, was putting ourselves and our baby in danger. If someone were to see us, my father would seek the death penalty for Loula. Who knew what kind of punishment he would bestow on me. I didn’t care what he did to me, but I was afraid for Loula and my child.

  Loula saw the fear in my eyes. “Nidal, what is wrong?” she asked, alarmed. “And do not say that nothing is wrong. I can see it in your eyes. You are worried. I can tell.” She pulled herself up into a sitting position. “Tell me, please. I want to know what is troubling you,” she begged.

  I sighed and slumped my shoulders. I felt defeated. “Loula, my love for you has no end, but I am but a prince. I am not the king yet. My father, he has all the power, and I fear he has set out his anger on you. He has targeted you, and I know not what to do.” I didn’t know how to tell her the rest. “Loula, listen very carefully to what I tell you. It is very important that you do as I say. Your life depends on it.” I hoped against hope that I didn’t scare her too much. “It was smart of you to claim our baby as Billal’s. That ensures its safety, even though it kills me not to be able to claim my own child. At least for the time being, our baby is safe. We must play this game until I figure out what to do. It is crucial that no one suspects our motives,” I warned. “It kills me every time I see you with Billal. Just knowing that you share the same bed at night is enough for me to want to strangle him. But we have no choice. We must continue to do what we do to ensure the safety of you and our baby.” I said what I needed to say to make her understand what was at stake here.

  Loula stared at me wide-eyed. She tried to talk, but I quickly sealed her lips with mine. I kissed her passionately, not wanting to ever let her go. They were stolen kisses, worth a million words. If only we were in a faraway land, where we were free to run with the wind, free of all the responsibilities and misery of this world, I would have been the happiest man in this world. I slid down and kissed Loula’s stomach, where our child slept.

  I kissed it a hundred times, and I said softly, “Little one, this is Papa. I love you so much, and I love your mother just as much as I love you. And one day, we will live together happily ever after.”

  I heard Loula stifle a cry as she heard my words.

  Our time in the garden was not enough. It would never be enough. But we both knew what we had to do, and there was no other way out of it. We dressed quickly and headed back to the palace, and just as we came from around the bushes, Billal was there. His eyes were full of hate as he looked at me. He knew what had just transpired, but he also knew that he could not do a damn thing about it.

  Billal stretched out his hand to Loula. “Come quickly. The king is looking for us,” he said coldly.

  She went to him without a second glance toward me. I wanted to rip out Billal’s throat, but I restrained myself. I needed him to play his part. At least it guaranteed Loula’s safety. They disappeared inside the palace, and I was alone once again. It was painful to see Loula walking away with Billal. I knew he would stop at nothing to win Loula’s affections. I just hoped that she had the strength to keep him at bay.

  I wondered what my father wanted Billal and Loula for. I picked up my pace. I needed to be there when the king talked to them so I could hear everything that was being said. I opened the doors to the palace and stepped inside, just in time to see Billal and Loula enter the tearoom. I ran down the corridor, knocking over a pail of water that the servant had just put there. She was getting ready to mop the marble floor, but I had no time to stop and apologize. I needed to get in the tearoom as quickly as possible.

  I stepped in the room, looked around, and saw that it was full of people. They had all come to welcome the newborn baby into this world. If only they knew the hard-core truth. I wondered what their reaction would be. I looked into their faces and realized they were just people living their lives. They cared not who sired the baby. They only cared to please the king and be in his favor.

  I knew my father had an important announcement to make, and I wondered what it could be. Billal escorted Loula to the empty chair by the window, and she sat in it. Her eyes avoided me as I walked up next to my father and waited patiently to hear what he had to say. The king had a satisfied grin on his face, and the queen sat nervously next to him. At that moment, she looked up sadly at me, and my heart skipped a beat. All the blood drained from my face as I realized what the king was about to announce.

  “Ladies and gentlemen,” he said as he stood and walked in the middle of the room, “as you all know, my granddaughter came into this world today, and we must celebrate. Everyone, raise your glass. I would like to make a toast to the new addition to our family.” The king raised his glass in the air before bringing it to his lips and swallowed the wine in one gulp. He refilled the glass with more wine, raised his glass again, and said with a hint of satisfaction, “I have one more toast to make. Tomorrow, I will give Loula’s hand in marriage to my nephew, Prince Billal. They make a handsome couple, and I am pleased to announce that she carries his child. May God bless their union,” he said triumphantly. Then he turned and looked at me, arching his eyebrow as if daring me to speak.

  If I had a sword in my hand right now, I swear I would gladly have stuck it in his evil heart. He was ruthless, and he was out for blood. I smiled at him, and then I clapped my hands, acting as if I were pleased with his words. Everyone in the room joined me and clapped too. The king looked at me with a lazy grin. He knew me better than anyone else, and he was one step ahead of me. But I too knew him better than anyone
else, and I too was one step ahead of him.

  Everyone drank their wine and wasted no time wishing the happy couple a wonderful life together. As I lifted my glass to my lips, the wine tasted like poison in my mouth. It burned my throat and settled in my stomach like a ticking time bomb. I did everything in my power to ignore the pain. This pain tightened around my heart and tried to suffocate me.

  I looked at my mother. She reluctantly stood, walked up to Loula, and hugged her. But I could tell that my mother was very upset. I would have to explain to her what just happened and why. She was a very strong woman, and I knew she could handle the news without breaking. Perhaps she and I could come up with a plan and outsmart Father.

  Billal had a smile on his face, and he looked genuinely happy. He walked up to Loula, took her in his arms, and planted a kiss on her lips. Loula was stiff as a board and did not kiss him back. His hands dropped to his sides, and he silently looked at me as if I were the one stealing his love. He had some nerve. One day, I would kill him with my bare hands. Let him think that he has won this time around, and when he least expects it, I will pounce on him and rip out his throat!

  Everyone was drinking their wine and engaging in conversation with each other. At least twenty-five couples were in the room, and they all looked suspiciously at Loula and me. They all knew that something was not right, but they did not have the guts to say anything. Everyone in this room, including me, was afraid of the king. But I feared my father because I was afraid he would make good on his threat about Loula. I did not fear him for any other reason. I despised him, and nothing would please me more than to kill him with my bare hands.

  Billal held on to Loula’s hand as if his life depended on it. Poor soul, he does not want to believe the truth that Loula’s heart belongs to me. Billal is delusional, living in a world of make-believe. He is sleepwalking through life, and he is in for a rude awakening!

  “Son, shouldn’t you be with Shaeena and your baby daughter? You have been gone from their side for quite a while now. Go now. We do not want to hold you up. Run along.” The king waved his hand in the air and dismissed me from the room, as if I were but a ten-year-old boy.

  Humiliated, I was at a loss for words. To everyone in this room, I looked like the bad husband/father for not being attentive to my new family, so I had no choice but to bow and excuse myself.

  I felt Billal’s eyes on my back as I opened the door and stepped out. I shut my eyes for a second and tried to control my anger. It really wasn’t worth it. In all reality, I should not be upset by anything Billal said or did. I knew Loula’s heart belonged to me, and deep down, so did Billal. I walked through the corridor, but I did not go to my room. I walked past it and headed back to the gardens. I felt serenity when I was standing among nature’s gifts, and at this moment, I needed to be calm and relaxed and get all the poison out of my heart.

  The king said that Loula was to marry Billal tomorrow. That was too soon. I knew not what to do. Tomorrow? My pulse quickened, and I felt tortured. I could not let this happen. I needed a plan, a quick one. I had to find a way to stall the wedding. There was no way in this world that I would allow the wedding to take place.

  I looked around in the rose garden that my mother herself had planted years ago when I was born. It was beautiful here, so peaceful. I looked beyond the gardens, farther down, where the rolling meadows rolled out their carpet of lush green grass. When I was a child, I ran across the meadow chasing rabbits and all kinds of stuff. Life was innocent then. It was not poisoned with hate and greed.

  So many things troubled my mind. My thoughts went back to Shaeena’s baby. It was a beautiful tiny bundle of joy. Who is the father? Could it be Billal? I would never know. For all I knew, anyone could be the father, but Billal seemed the best candidate. I wondered why he did not want to claim the child.

  Could it be because he loves Loula so much that he is not willing to lose her? Could the love he feels for Loula run so deep that he is willing to overlook the fact he is now a father? He is willing to give up his parental rights just to have a life with Loula. What kind of a man is he? Maybe he is not the father. In all reality, I have not seen him with the princess in that way. Maybe the father of her child is someone else. It could be anyone. What if the princess is right and I fathered her child? What then?

  But deep in my heart, the only baby I wanted to claim as mine was Loula’s. The only reason I did not claim Loula’s baby as mine now was because I was afraid of the king’s threats. I wanted to ensure my baby’s safety.

  But what ails Billal so that he does not want to claim his own child? Is he even the father? I cannot tell for sure, and if he is not, then who else could it be? I could not imagine there being anyone else. The princess is a smart lady. She would not sleep around without a reason. Could I be the father of her child? I do not remember sleeping with her. I would never sleep with her willingly. The three days I slept at her house, I don’t remember a single thing. I blacked out. How odd that those three whole days of my life have been wiped out of my memory. How can that be?

  As I walked back to the palace, I thought of Shaeena. What drives her to claim me as the father? Is it because she loves me, or is the real reason because she wants to be queen one day? Is she love-hungry, power-hungry, or both? Or could I really be the father?

  This thought sent cold shivers up and down my spine. If I were the father, it would be a sad day because I feel no bond with the baby. She is not mine. Shaeena is hiding the truth, but one day, the truth will come out. I would not stop searching for the truth until I found it.

  I took the steps two at a time, and when I reached the double doors, I opened them just in time to witness my father come out of my room. Was he visiting Shaeena and the baby to wish her well, or did Shaeena and my father plot against me?

  I had to find out the truth. I hurriedly walked to my chamber and opened the door. The baby was still feeding off Shaeena’s other breast, and if it were not for all the craziness that was happening around us, I could easily have said that I had not ever seen a more beautiful sight than a mother and child bonding in this way.

  I closed the door behind me and walked up to the bed. I looked down and could not help but smile. The baby looked content in the warmth of her mother’s arms. Shaeena looked up at me and smiled back.

  “How are you feeling, Shaeena?” I asked, not really caring for the answer, but just wanting to sound polite.

  Shaeena hesitated before she spoke, as if she were trying to choose her words very carefully. “The baby and I are doing well. As you can see, Nidal, your daughter is enjoying her dinner. If you had come a few minutes ago, you would have had the chance to hold your child,” she said wearily. “The king was just here, and he gave us his blessings. Where were you, Nidal?” she asked, waiting patiently for an answer.

  “I was in the gardens, taking a stroll. I had a few things on my mind, and I just needed some space.” I didn’t care for her response, which I knew was coming anyway.

  I walked to the other end of the room and sat on the couch. I was frustrated with my life. I just wanted all this to end.

  Shaeena was struggling to stay awake. I knew she was really tired from giving birth, and it was only a matter of time before sleep took her. The baby wiggled in her arms and started to yawn as its little body stretched. This little person was related to me. She had royal blood running in her veins. But even so, she was not my daughter. She was Billal’s. I was almost sure of it. My baby was in my lover’s womb, and I was going to do whatever it took to keep her safe. Shaeena and the baby finally fell asleep.

  I walked out of the room and lightly closed the door behind me, lest the baby wake up and then Shaeena would not get the rest that any mother who just gave birth deserved. I headed toward the dining room. It was almost dinnertime. I was the first to arrive. The servants scrambled to set the dining table as they threw a tablecloth on it that was pr
obably worth more than all the furniture in this room put together. Why would the king squander his money like that? Why not put that good money to better use? Like rebuilding the orphanage and bringing in the children who are orphaned from around the country? I’m sure more of them need warm beds to sleep in and hot soup to fill their tummies.

  I pulled out my chair and sat in it. I put my elbows on the table and rested my head on my hands. I was really tired of life. One would think that I, the crown prince of Arabia, with everything at my fingertips at the snap of a finger, would be pleasantly pleased with my life. But that was far from the truth. I was handsome, rich, famous, loved by all the females of this country, and envied by all the males. I had Loula, the love of my entire life, the reason for my existence. Without her, I was nothing, an empty shell of a man who would cease to exist. I had everything a man could desire, and I was not happy. I was miserable and lonely, and my heart was tortured.

  A tear escaped, rolled down my face, and landed on the silk napkin that was neatly folded on the table, just as the servant put an empty plate in front of me, a plate that was of fine bone china with gold trimming around it. This plate alone easily cost a peasant’s monthly wages. A stupid plate worth so much! One plate alone could feed a family for a month! I looked around the room at all the other riches. Tapestries and famous paintings decorated the walls. Crystal and porcelain decorated the table. I saw silver water pitchers, fine crystal goblets, and utensils made of silver and gold. All fit for a king, a king who was selfish and greedy, a king who was not worthy to wear the crown.

  At that moment, the door burst open, and people started to pour in. The king and queen came first, followed by several of the king’s men. The second- and third-in-command came in next, and then my heart started to beat faster. Billal walked in, holding Loula’s hand as he gently pulled her around the table to their usual seats, across from where I sat. Loula stole a quick glance at me and then lowered her eyes to the table. My heart skipped a beat. I loved this woman so much, and it hurt to be across the table from her instead of next to her. She was mine, and I had no rights to her according to my father. I sighed. This was not as easy as I thought it would be.