by Sable Hunter
Rising, she walked to the window and looked down the mountain toward the ranch. Soon, he would get off work and come to find her. When he did, she intended to be gone. Yes, she was a coward, but this decision wasn’t about her lack of courage. She knew Nathan and she knew what he would do. Once she made her confession, he would be angry. She’d lied to him, he should be angry. In all honesty, he should wash his hands of her and walk away.
But he wouldn’t, that was the sad part.
Nathan McCoy would stay. He would stick by her side through thick and thin. No man would be more faithful and attentive. “No, no.” Just the thought of putting him through such an ordeal made her weak with anxiety. Especially when she remembered how he’d felt about what Aron was going through with Libby. Nathan couldn’t imagine watching someone he loved to suffer and not be able to help – and Clare didn’t intend that he should have to do so.
With determined steps, she went to the desk to retrieve a pad of paper and a pen. She would rather tell him in person, but that wouldn’t work. He’d refuse to leave her side.
Taking a seat, she stared at the paper. She didn’t even know how to begin. How do you tell someone you love goodbye?
Swallowing hard, she exhaled a long breath and began. As she poured out her heart (there was that heart thing again) Clare cried like a baby.
Once she was finished, she folded the letter and put it in an envelope. She intended to leave it inside the front door screen for him to find. Now, all she had left to do was pack.
Needing to hurry, Clare just added clothes to the ones she’d taken to New York. What was far more important were her memories of Nathan and the stories about them she’d written. After placing the annuals, scrapbooks, and notebook in a tote, Clare carefully wrapped the portrait she’d painted of him in a soft cloth. Giving him up was agony but having nothing to remember him by was unthinkable.
As she made ready to go, Clare mourned what might have been. She was worried about her animals, but Storm and Mad would make sure they were taken care of. As much as she would miss her home and family, nothing compared to the loss of Nathan McCoy. For a heartbeat she considered if she would’ve been better off having never met him, having never shared his bed, never known his love. The very thought almost paralyzed her. In her eyes, she wouldn’t trade this time with him for anything. But Nathan…no matter what she chose, he would be hurt. For his sake, it would’ve been better if they’d never met.
Since she didn’t know when or if she’d return, Clare decided to clean out her refrigerator. There was nothing worse than opening one up and finding things long past their prime. Gathering up a few odds and ends, she walked to the door to take them to the compost pile. As she did, Clare heard some loud popping noises. Gunshots? She hoped not. No hunting was allowed on their land. She couldn’t bear to think of something happening to Bentley or any of her families. She stood and listened for a moment but didn’t hear anything else. Maybe she was mistaken or whoever was doing it had moved on.
Returning to her cabin, Clare thought she heard some more popping noises, but she wasn’t sure. Shaking her head, she knew had more to worry about than an odd sound she couldn’t identify.
A couple of hours later, she’d done all she could. Clare was ready to go. The only thing remaining for her to do was to affix the letter to Nathan to the screen door. Taking a wooden clothes pin from her tiny washroom, she hung the letter where he would readily see it. Clare was just about to step back into the cabin when she smelled something burning. Hurrying back inside the cabin, she looked around hastily to see if she’d left anything on anywhere that could be causing such a scent. As far as she could see, there was nothing. When she moved near the window, her heart came up in her throat. The woods were on fire! The grass was on fire! “Oh, God, no.”
With her heart in her throat, Clare ran outside. Her breath was coming hard and fast, her pulse racing. “Please don’t let me faint,” she prayed. Hurrying to the barn, she flung open the door. Before she could move another muscle, Luna came rushing out. Clare barely got out of the way. As the horse ran past, she noticed a streak of blood on her side. Having smelled the smoke, the mare had jumped her stall door and cut herself in the process. “Luna! Luna! Come back!” Calling her proved fruitless, the horse was scared, and she was instinctively running from the fire and smoke.
Facing the cabin, Clare was horrified to see the fire was creeping closer. The wind was high, and the conditions were right for the blaze to become a wildfire. With dismay, she realized her home could very well go up in smoke. Turning in a circle, Clare gasped to see trees were catching fire on all sides. She was surrounded.
Panting for air, she made her way inside the house and leaned on the kitchen cabinet. She couldn’t stay here. She’d never make it down the mountain on foot. Clare realized she had nowhere to go. Her heart was pounding and skipping beats. If she grew dizzy and passed out, she might die of smoke inhalation. Frantic to think of an answer, she grabbed her purse, the tote, and the painting. If she were to make it to safety, these precious things would survive also.
Going outside, she moved slowly with her treasures, looking around to see what her best bet might be. With little hope, she looked toward the forest east of her cabin, hoping that Bentley and Seymour found their way to safety. Animals were more attune to these things than people were sometimes. They were probably already some distance away. As she considered this, a possible answer dawned on her. If she could make it to Koda’s cave, she might survive.
Brent threw down a sack of feed from the hayloft. “How many more?”
“Three ought to do it,” Nathan called. “When we finish feeding the new heifers I want to knock off. I need to take a shower and head up to see my girl.”
“Understood.” Brent gave him a thumb’s up, then looked out in the yard in front of the barn. “Hey, boss. Glad to have you back.”
“Brent. Nathan. Everything going okay?”
“Yes, sir. All is well.” Nathan glanced at Storm as he slung the final sack of feed onto his pick-up bed. “How was your trip?”
“A total disaster.” His mouth was set in a thin line.
The black despair rolling from Storm told Nathan something was terribly wrong. “Is it Romy?”
“Not my story to tell, Nathan. You’ll have to talk to her, but you’d better hurry. I don’t think she’ll be here much longer.”
“What do you mean?” Nathan asked with alarm.
“Like I said. Not my place.”
Before Nathan could ask more, he walked to his truck where Mad sat waiting on him. A moment later, they were gone.
With fear mounting up inside of him, Nathan took off his gloves and jammed them into his back pocket. “Sorry to walk out on you, but I gotta go.”
“No problem, friend. Sounds like you might have a spot of trouble.”
“Yea.” Nathan was just about to walk away when Brent yelled.
“Look up on the mountain! Fire!”
As if noticing the black plumes activated his senses, Nathan could smell smoke. “Christ. Call the fire department, I’ve got to go to her.”
“Take the ATV!” Brent called. “It’ll be faster! The keys are in it.”
“Yea, okay.” Petrified, Nathan ran to the four-wheeler and jumped on it. A few seconds later, he was crossing the pasture to the foothills. To his surprise, Luna came running by him, her eyes wide with fear. “She let her out of the barn, which means she’s okay.” Nathan tried to take some comfort in that thought, but he also couldn’t help wondering why Romy hadn’t rode Luna down the mountain to safety. “What if…?” Stop it, he told himself. There’s no use to conjecture, just get your ass up there and rescue your baby.
…The closer he came to the mountain path, the more fire he could see. “Oh, God in heaven. Please let her be okay.” The farther he rode, the thicker the smoke became. To Nathan’s horror, he could see the blaze was closing in on the area where Romy’s cabin was located. Giving the ATV all the gas he could gi
ve it, Nathan barreled forward. When he began to cough, he stopped on the trail long enough to take a bandana out of his back pocket and tie it around his face. It wouldn’t do Romy any good if he succumbed to the smoke and passed out on the trail.
Pressing onward, he made it up the steep grade and into the highland meadow. Jumping off the ATV, what he saw brought him to his knees. Shocked, Nathan began to run to the barn. The door was open, but he had to see for himself. “Romy!” After a moment of checking, he found it empty. Running toward the house, he saw sparks on the roof. “Oh, no, no, no.” If the house was engulfed in flames – it might be too late.
With tears welling in his eyes, he grabbed the door handle, then jerked his hand back. The damn thing was blistering hot. Pulling the bandana from his face, he used it to wrap around his hand, and tugged on the door. As it gave way to his pulling, Nathan’s eyes fell on part of an envelope penned to the grate of the screen door by a clothes pin. There was writing on it, and he could make out a portion of what looked to be his own name. What remained of the envelope was empty. What did this mean? She obviously left him a note of some kind. Was she gone? If so, how? Luna was already down the mountain and her brothers had just left the ranch.
Another wave of terror engulfed him, she was here…somewhere.
Pushing into the house, he called her. “Romy!” He raced through the rooms, seeing the petals he’d strewn still laying sadly about. Several of the curtains on the windows were being quickly consumed. The whole house was on fire. Frantically, Nathan looked everywhere – the closets, the bathroom, under the bed. She wasn’t in the cabin. Coughing, he held his arm over his face as flames shot from the walls.
Hearing the creak of an overhead timber, Nathan decided it was time to leave. As he fought his way through the smoke, he saw Romy’s suitcase behind the couch. Wherever she was, she hadn’t left the mountain.
…Some distance from the cabin, Clare staggered through the smoke-filled forest. “Koda! Koda!”
She hoped Koda was long gone, but if he wasn’t – the bear would answer her. She’d thought she knew where the cave was located but in this haze burning her eyes and throat, it was hard to distinguish her exact location. “Koda!” Clare was about to cry out again, but a fit of coughing assailed her. She was having trouble breathing and her head swam. Dizzy and disoriented, she stopped and stooped over, afraid she was about to throw up. For a few seconds, she rested – until a noise in front of her caused Clare to jerk upright. “Koda! Oh, Koda!”
The big bear stood on his hind legs and let out a roar loud enough to hurt her ears. “Hey, it’s good to see you too. Where’s…” She didn’t have enough air to say more, but she didn’t have to. Koda fell on all fours and began to lumber away. Clare chose to follow him. She felt fairly certain he would lead her to the cave where he stayed at night.
“Slow down,” she managed to croak when he would get too far ahead of her. The bear seemed to understand because he would turn his head to look at her. On every side, leaves and pieces of burning bark were raining down. Clare was afraid, but she was also sad at the destruction of her beautiful home. She had little hope her cabin would survive.
After a few steps more, she could make out the darkened entrance to the cave. Koda had already disappeared, so she assumed he was already inside. Hearing the crackle of burning wood in the near distance, she hurried to seek shelter.
Slowly, she stepped into the darkness of the cave. It took her a minute for her eyes to become adjusted to the deep shadows. When they did, she could see Koda sitting on the big bean bag chair she’d wagged over here for him sleep on. “Thanks for the hospitality. Is that old lantern I stored still in here?” She felt alongside the nearest wall. “Yes! Here it is.” She prayed the batteries were still good. After flipping the switch, a soft glow filled the cave. “Now, at least we can see.”
Feeling winded, she eased down to sit on a smooth rock, placing the painting to one side and laying her purse and the tote at her feet. She noticed the cover over Nathan’s portrait was covered with soot. Clare lifted the cloth to make sure the painting had survived her rough journey. It had.
Lowering her head, she tried to regulate her breathing. One. Two. In. Out. Seeking the rhythm, she realized she didn’t have her medicine with her. It had been loaded into her suitcase. “Oh, well. Such is life.” Clare decided this wasn’t the time to think morbid thoughts. There was enough to worry about in the here and now.
Like Nathan.
There was no doubt in her mind that he’d come up the mountain to look for her. Storm and Mad were probably looking for her too. As she contemplated these things, Clare thought she heard the sound of a helicopter. Were they searching for her? Or maybe trying to fight the fire? The thought of Nathan and her brothers putting themselves in danger for her sake was unacceptable. Clare realized she needed to get word to them somehow. She started to push herself to her feet, thinking she could go outside the cave and find a clearing to flag down the helicopter. Or should she go back to the cabin? Her desire to do something warred with her logic that staying put was the safest thing. Leaving the cave while the fire was still raging was foolishness.
Licking her lips, she wished she’d had enough forethought to bring water. Glancing up, she looked into the bear’s eyes. He was watching her patiently. Clare wondered how much he understood. “This is the pits, isn’t it? You wouldn’t have a bottle of Perrier lying about, would you?” A grumbly groan was the only answer she received.
Resting her head in her hands, she reasoned with herself. “There’s got to be something you can do.” She tried to think, but Nathan’s face kept getting in the way. Unbidden, a series of images passed through her mind of things they’d done together, things they’d talked about. And then she recalled Nathan giving her the personal locator beacon. “It’s in my purse! It’s in my purse!” Grabbing her bag, she pulled it out. With fumbling fingers, she pressed the button, then sent out a text to her emergency contact.
Nathan, I’m in the bear cave.
With rising fear, Nathan tried to methodically search the area around the cabin. As he did, he felt sick at what he witnessed. This little piece of heaven was going up in smoke. Even if fire-fighting equipment could easily be brought in – which it couldn’t – the fire was spreading too fast and burning everything in its path. Desperate to find Romy, he ignored the warning bells going off in his head. No matter the danger, he wasn’t leaving without her.
“Romy!” he tried calling once more. “Romy!” Two or three steps further and Nathan stopped in his tracks. His satellite phone was receiving a text message. Digging it from his pocket, he brought the screen close to his face. His heart jumped. The text was from Romy.
Nathan, I’m in the bear cave.
His relief was so great, he didn’t comprehend the words at first. Romy was in the bear cave, he repeated in his head. And then he remembered, Koda’s cave. When he’d asked the location, she’d told him it was a half mile due east of the cabin. Taking a moment to get his bearings, he set out in what he hoped was the right direction.
Nathan tried to walk as fast as he could, but the smoke was growing denser. He would’ve called out her name again, but he didn’t have the air. While trudging along, a piece of paper dancing along the ground caught his eye. It was partially burned, but it matched the envelope he’d seen on Romy’s door. The handwriting looked to be the same. Reaching out, he snatched it up and lifted it to his burning eyes.
I’m so sorry to end it this way, but the kindest thing I can do for you is walk away. Just know I will always love you, Nathan, in this life and in the next. Please don’t try to find me. This is for the best.
What the fuck? Despite the intense heat wafting near him, icy shards of alarm made his chest ache. “Nuh-uh. No way. No how.” Refusing to even process what he’d read, Nathan forged on. After what seemed like forever, he came to a rugged outcropping set inside a high bluff. This had to be the place. “Romy?” he managed to rasp out her name.
Suddenly, the welcome roar of a bear reached his ears. He just hoped the bear was Koda.
Chapter 18
Deep in the cave, Clare reacted to Koda’s snarling. Someone was near. Hoping against hope, she scrambled to her feet. “Oh, Nathan. Nathan.” Please let him be safe. “Settle, Koda.” She laid a reassuring hand on the bear’s snout, then climbed up the incline to the cave entrance. “Nathan?”
He grasped onto one side of the rock wall for support, the sound of her voice turning his bones to water. “Thank God.”
“Come inside.” She took his arm and tugged. “Are you hurt?”
“No, are you?” he asked, drawing her to him. His head still spinning.
“I’m okay.” She pulled from his embrace to direct him to sit on a large, smooth rock. “Sit.” The skin of his face was blackened by smoke and soot. “Are you sure you’re not burned?”
“I’m not.” The air in the cave was far less smoky. He breathed deeply, mouth open. “The whole place is on fire.”
“I heard what sounded like gunshots a while before the fire came.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. When we saw the smoke, I came up the mountain. The fire departments been called in, but…”
“Putting it out will be hard.” Clare knew the drill. Wildfires in the mountains were hard to fight. “They’ll have to send planes.”
“Yea.” He closed his eyes while his breathing evened. “I was so scared for you. Terrified.” Nathan held out his hands to her. “Why aren’t you in my arms where you belong?”
Clare just stared at him, not knowing where to begin.
Nathan pulled the charred paper from his shirt pocket. “What is this?”
Seeing a portion of the letter she’d written, Clare covered her mouth. “Nathan, this is so hard.”