Action

by Quinn Anderson

  Colette rubbed her temples. “I wasn’t trying to scare him. Please believe me when I say I’m not mothering anyone. But if I see a crush forming on set, and I think it’ll create problems, I discourage it. I’m not ashamed to admit it.”

  “Why would you think that, though?” Pete asked. “I mean, obviously if we’d broken up, things might have been awkward, but why were you so worried about that happening?”

  “I will admit it wasn’t strictly business. There was an element of concern to my threats.”

  Pete smiled. “You were worried about me?”

  She eyed him. “Not in so many words. I know Darko’s a good guy. I just saw the way you two were around each other and thought, ‘This is going to be one of those ill-advised, on-screen romances that burns hot at first but ends with the actors hating each other.’ I’ve been in this business a long time, and I’ve seen it happen.” She looked thoughtfully at them. “I think I might have been wrong, though. Clearly I don’t know you two as well as I thought. Especially you, Jaden.”

  Pete thought he understood what she was getting at. “Thank you. Does that mean I was never in any danger of being fired?”

  “Oh no, you absolutely were. If things had gone sour between you two in the beginning, I would have replaced you.” She sat up in her seat and folded her hands on the surface of the desk, once more the no-nonsense business executive. “I need to cut this therapy session short and get to business. Bear in mind, for being considered ‘low budget,’ porn is still expensive to produce. You two are going to have to do promos and events together, whether you break up tomorrow or not. Understand?”

  “Understood,” Pete confirmed.

  “If it’s any consolation,” Evan added, “we’ve been getting along splendidly. All night, in fact.”

  Pete turned red.

  Colette rolled her eyes. “I didn’t start this project so I could cast you two in your own personal love story. Although”—her expression went from irritated to contemplative in a flash—“that would be an interesting marketing avenue. ‘Watch this on-screen flame transform into a real-life romance.’ It’s so meta. I dunno if it’s ever been done before.”

  “Don’t turn our love into a marketing campaign,” Pete chastised. “Actually, you don’t need to. I have it on good authority that your ads are working just fine.”

  Colette raised an immaculate eyebrow. “Oh?”

  “Yeah, a friend of mine saw one the other day and showed it to me.”

  “Did they now?” Colette asked, perking up. “Did they happen to say which site it was on? Because if we know where our targeted marketing is most effective, we can allocate a larger portion of our marketing budget to—” She stopped, eyes widening. “Wait, you’re not out, right? Not like Darko is anyway.”

  “Nope,” Pete said emphatically. “It finally happened. Someone I know in real life found me out there in cyberspace.”

  “Oof. That’s rough, buddy. You okay?”

  “Yeah, but I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t make this anymore personal by plastering our love lives all over your ads.”

  “Fine. I’ll table that idea. For now. Which brings me to my next question.” She folded her hands on the surface of the desk. “What am I going to do with you both?”

  They looked at each other. Evan shrugged. Pete turned back to Colette. “What do you mean?”

  “You’re not under contract.” Her eyes moved between them. “You’re free to work or not work as many jobs as you want. That means if you don’t want to work with anyone but each other, you can make that happen. But understand, eventually your job opportunities will dry up. Your audience is always craving new faces, new positions, new highs. And as much as I like you both, when you stop making me money, it’s over.”

  “We understand that,” Pete said.

  “Then what are you going to do?”

  “We’re still figuring that out,” Evan said. “I want to be a director ultimately, and Pete’s only doing this until he graduates, so starring in porn forever was never the plan for either of us.”

  “Have you considered cam work?”

  Evan gave her an odd look. “Why would we go from big screen to small? Isn’t that like a step backward?”

  “Actually, no,” Pete interjected. “Cam work might not have the same production value as studio porn, but it’s more interactive, and you can make your own schedule. It has pros and cons like any other job.”

  Evan looked impressed. “And here I thought I was the industry expert.”

  “Jaden is right. Cam work would give you more flexibility, and you’d be allowed to work solo, or exclusively with each other. One of my PSOs just started a channel with her girlfriend, actually. Jaden, you may remember Alexa from your early days. Her channel, Poster Girls, is one of our most popular.”

  “Oh yeah. Glad to hear she’s doing well.” He turned to Evan. “That’s something to think about. We could have our own channel too. I hear they’re the new hot thing.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, it’s like reality TV, only with lots of sex. Real couples letting people peek inside their bedrooms.”

  Evan glanced at Colette. “You think that’s something we could do?”

  “Sure,” she said. “I just filmed a whole movie about you. That’s pretty solid proof right there that I think people are gonna tune in.”

  He looked back to Pete. “You really like the idea?”

  “Yeah. I wouldn’t have to worry about working around school, and we wouldn’t have to have sex with other people, which would be safer. What do you think?”

  “I dunno.” He rubbed his chin. “It seems pretty radical.”

  “Does it?”

  “Yeah. I mean, you want us to have sex? On camera? For money? Perish the thought!”

  Pete rolled his eyes so far heavenward, he thought he spotted a cherub.

  Evan slung an arm around him. “No, but seriously, I think that sounds great. We’re going to be having a lot of sex anyway. Might as well profit from it. The only question is, what would we call our channel?”

  Pete thought about it. “How about ‘StarX,’ pronounced ‘Star Cross’? Like star-crossed lovers. You know, because of our fateful meeting. Plus we’re porn stars, and you’re into astronomy, and I’m religious. It’d be like an inside joke with a little bit of both of us.”

  Evan’s smile was scintillating. “I love it.”

  Colette nodded. “Very well. I’m sure we can work something out. I’d normally make new cam stars audition, but considering my familiarity with your work, I think we can find a spot for your channel.”

  Pete almost couldn’t believe it. “You’re being awfully accommodating.”

  Colette sighed. “I know. I hate it. But if Heat Wave is as big of a hit as I anticipate, you two are going to be in demand. I need you happy and ready to promo the shit out of it. And if that means catering to a few demands, so be it. Actually, that brings up another point I wanted to discuss with you.”

  She hit Enter on the keyboard again, and their final sex scene began to play in the middle of a particularly provocative part. Pete willed himself not to get hard as he watched Evan fuck him with a vengeance while he gripped the picnic blanket for dear life.

  “This scene,” she said, pointing to it, “is hot, but like I told you before, it doesn’t seem like a first time. Even with the additional footage we shot, it sort of throws off the whole vibe of the earlier storyline. I think the film would benefit from filming another ‘first’ time. Something intimate. Something we can splice in before the park scene. Make sense?”

  “I’m down for that,” Evan said, grinning and folding his arms behind his head.

  “Quelle surprise,” Colette intoned. She looked to Pete. “What about you?”

  “Yeah. I mean, if it’ll help the film, I’ll let you talk me into it.” He tried to look innocent, but it must not have worked, because Evan snickered.

  Colette sighed wearily and said again, “Porn st
ars.”

  The day of Pete’s birthday party dawned sunny and unseasonably warm. And since they lived in California, that was truly saying something. It almost felt like summer outside. Pete was able to wear the costume he’d planned on ever since Sana had talked him into a nineties theme: Quailman from Doug. He already owned a green sweater vest, and the underwear over the pants was self-explanatory. Getting the belt around his head to stand up, however, had taken a lot of patience and bendy wire.

  Pete had tried to talk Evan into being Patti Mayonnaise, but Evan had assured him that he already had something in mind. When probed, he refused to give any hints. Whatever it was, Pete was certain it would make an impression.

  Mom was a huge help, assisting with cleaning the house even when he begged her to let him do it. She also bought themed snacks: Nerds, Gushers, Pixy Stix, and Hi-C. And of course, there was plenty of booze.

  “Mom,” Pete said, as he nudged a bottle of Jameson closer to a bottle of Bombay Sapphire, “did you get some sort of discount for buying the entire liquor store?”

  “Did I go a little overboard?” she called from the kitchen, where she was pulling Jell-O shots out of their fridge. She was dressed as Smee from Hook, complete with round glasses and a fetching fake gray beard.

  “I’m expecting them to declare you lost at sea any minute now.”

  “You only turn twenty-one once, and if you remember it, you did it wrong.” She emerged from the kitchen bearing three trays of little cups stacked on top of each other. She went to place them on the dining room table but couldn’t find room between the craft beer and the various bottles of wine. “Hmm. Maybe I did overdo it a bit.”

  “I should say so. I’m not even a drinker.”

  “But you could be! Never sell yourself short, kiddo. You can be anything you set your mind to.”

  “Thanks, Mom. Your faith in me is . . . distressing.”

  There was a knock on the door, and Pete went to answer it. Raj was on the other side, dressed in white platform boots, bell-bottom jeans, and a shirt with the Union Jack on it. His dark hair was in twin pigtails on the sides of his head.

  “Um,” Pete said, “Cindy Brady?”

  “I’m Baby Spice, you uncultured swine. Besides, The Brady Bunch first aired in the sixties.” He jostled his way into the house. “Hey, Momma Griflow! Or should I say captain?”

  “First mate, actually.” She wrapped Raj in a hug. “Good to see you again. How’s school going?”

  Raj grabbed the Jameson off the table, unscrewed the cap, and took a swig straight from the bottle.

  Mom nodded. “Sounds about right.”

  Raj launched into a detailed explanation of how he would murder half of their professors and make it look like an accident while Mom listened rapturously. Pete went to close the front door, but a purple heel blocked him.

  “Rude,” Sana said mildly, poking her head through the door. “And here I brought you the good stuff.” She brandished a bottle of expensive whiskey in each hand.

  “Hey!” Pete greeted. “You made it. I’m so happy to see—”

  Joshua’s blond head appeared above hers. “Hey, flamer.”

  “. . . Sana, what did I ever do to you?”

  “Sorry, but he overheard me talking about your party and insisted on coming.” She pushed the door open and walked in. “I could have trussed him up and left him in the back of the Globe, but Mr. Hamm says I’m not allowed to do that anymore.”

  “Why ever not?” Pete teased.

  “Something about ‘fostering a positive work environment built on trust and mutual respect.’ I knew I shouldn’t have let him read those HR pamphlets.”

  Her hijab was bright orange today, and she had a green scarf tied around her neck. A purple, ankle-length dress and matching heels completed the look. It took Pete a moment to place her, but then it dawned on him: Daphne, from Scooby-Doo.

  “Jinkies.” Pete kissed her cheek. “You look great.”

  “So do you, but now I’m craving pork chops.”

  Joshua shuffled in after her. “Happy birthday.” He handed Pete a bottle of wine.

  “Uh, thanks.” Pete eyed Joshua suspiciously. “Who are you supposed to be? You look just like you did that night at the club.”

  “I’m a raver. Doesn’t get more nineties than that.”

  “Touché.”

  He put Joshua’s bottle of wine on the table with the others and then helped Sana find a spot for her whiskey. “I think it’s safe to say we have enough alcohol.”

  “I’ll be the judge of that,” said a voice that Pete instantly recognized.

  “Evan,” he said, turning around, “I guess I forgot to shut the do—” He stopped short, his mouth watering.

  Evan was standing in the doorway in head-to-toe, form-fitting, green and white spandex. A motorcycle helmet that had been spray-painted green and gold was tucked under his arm. Gold bands decorated his wrists, and his white boots had a noticeable heel.

  “A Power Ranger,” Pete said. “You’re the Green Ranger, right? I thought you were into comic book heroes?”

  Evan clicked his way across the wood floors. Thanks to his shoes, they were nearly eye level. “My interests are diverse, thank you very much.” He revolved in place. “What do you think?”

  Skintight was not a bad look for Evan at all. The spandex clung to his ass in a way that made Pete want to ditch his own party. Even the heels were weirdly hot. Pete was going to have to examine that later. “I think you look great, but just to be sure, is this really how you want to meet my mother for the first time?”

  “Trust me, it’s best she knows what she’s getting into from the start.”

  Pete glanced nervously at Mom. His worries were unfounded; a smile had overtaken her face at the sight of Evan. “Great costume! I assume you’re the boyfriend I’ve heard so much about. I think Pete said your name is Evan? Or shall I call you Dr. Tommy Oliver?”

  “Dude,” Evan said, nudging Pete, “you didn’t tell me your mom is awesome.”

  “Yeah, she knows a lot about Power Rangers. I actually had a crush on the Green Ranger when I was a kid.”

  “Did you now?” Evan grinned. “Then I chose my costume well.” He approached Mom and stuck out his hand. “Evan Darko. A pleasure.”

  “Mom,” she replied, taking his hand. “Charmed. How did you and Pete meet?”

  “It’s a fascinating story,” Joshua piped up.

  Pete mustered his best venomous look and lobbed it at him. Joshua recoiled behind Sana, who promptly stamped on his foot with her purple heels.

  As his sobs reverberated in the background, Evan replied, “We met through mutual friends.”

  It wasn’t a complete lie. Colette was sort of a friend.

  “Are you in school?”

  “No, I work.”

  “What do you do?”

  Evan glanced at Pete, asking a silent question with his eyes.

  Pete sighed. Here came the moment of truth. Evan had made it clear from day one that he had no intention of lying about what he did for a living. Before the party, they’d reached a compromise: Evan didn’t have to lie, but he also didn’t need to go into detail.

  All Pete could do now was pray his mom was as open-minded as he thought. “Go ahead, Evan. Tell her what you do.”

  Evan’s relieved smile almost made the impending embarrassment worth it. Almost.

  “I will tell you all about it,” Evan said. “But first, will you show me where I can get some ice?”

  “Sure thing. The kitchen’s right over here.”

  She led him away. Evan looked over his shoulder and gave Pete a thumbs-up. Pete itched to follow them. Actually, if it were an option, he’d perch on Evan’s shoulder like a gargoyle and listen to every word. But he supposed he’d just have to trust Evan to break the news gently. It was a good sign that he’d thought to take her aside. Sana and Joshua already knew, but Raj didn’t.

  Pete supposed now was as good a time as any to tell him. Raj was standi
ng over by the dining room table, examining the label on a bottle of champagne. Sana and Joshua were busy arguing about something he couldn’t quite hear—coffee? Or car keys? Possibly anarchy—and so he was able to sidle up to Raj without feeling like he was neglecting them.

  “How much alcohol is in champagne?” Raj asked without looking up.

  “I dunno. I think it’s not that much, but the bubbles make it seem like more.”

  “Excellent. Want some of this?”

  “Sure, but first I want to talk to you about something.”

  Raj finally looked up. “Is it your hot boyfriend? He is hot, by the way. From a totally objective, straight-guy perspective, you hit the jackpot.”

  “Yeah, I did.” Pete smiled. “And he’s sweet and smart and funny too.”

  “Does he have a sister?

  “Um, yeah, actually. Like three of them.”

  “Score!” He glanced around the room. “Where’s your mom? I promised her some of this.”

  “She’s with Evan in the kitchen. He’s breaking the news of what he does for a living to her.”

  “Oh God,” Raj said. “Does he sell knives door to door? Is he a ukelelist in a folk band? Does he model for those weird stock images of attractive people eating salads?”

  “Not nearly that bad,” Pete assured him. “You know how I had all those misgivings about him in the beginning?”

  “Of course. Was his job a part of that?”

  “Sort of. See, he—”

  Raj held up a hand. “Pete, I’m going to stop you right there. As someone who has watched you bumble your way through this romance from the beginning, it’s my expert opinion that you’re focusing way too much on things that don’t matter.”

  “Okay, yeah. That’s probably true, but I still need to tell you. He—”

  “Nuh-uh. I don’t care what your boyfriend does. You know what I care about?”

  “What?”

  “Does he love you?”

  Pete answered without hesitation. “Yes.”

  “Do you love him?”

  “Yes,” he said just as quickly, but with a lot more blushing.

  “Then fuck literally everything else,” Raj said cheerfully. “As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. And if he’s good to you and treats you right, he can be one of those creepy party clowns for all I care. Now let’s drink some champagne.”