Danger and Desire: Ten Full-Length Steamy Romantic Suspense Novels

by Pamela Clare

  Jay stared at her, his breath coming in ragged bursts as he watched her in that unreadable way of his that made her want to squirm. “I don’t know if I should kiss you or shake you,” he finally muttered. “Why were you at that strip club today?” Something about his tone told her that he already knew the answer. Or had guessed.

  “I needed money. I didn’t have enough in savings to cover the fifty thousand so I planned to get a quick loan and pay Leonard back after I liquidated some of my retirement funds.”

  “And you didn’t feel comfortable asking me for it? You’d rather run, give up what we have together, than set your stupid fucking pride aside and ask me for the money?” The wounded look on his face sliced her to ribbons.

  “I knew you’d give it to me. That’s not the problem, but I wasn’t about to ask you. I just couldn’t put you in that kind of danger, Jay. I…” She didn’t want to talk about it, but she had no choice. “I couldn’t lose someone else. It was my fault Anne Marie died and…I just couldn’t lose you too.” The words felt like a pathetic attempt to explain so much that she couldn’t say to him.

  She’d lost her sister, her dad had run out on them after Anne Marie’s death, blaming Ellie for everything, and then her mom had died a couple years later from cancer. Her mom had never outright blamed Ellie for her sister’s death, but she’d seen the accusing look in her mom’s eyes every damn day. The guilt threatened to suffocate her for all the poor decisions she’d made as a teenager and she couldn’t let the sins of her past take Jay from her too. Even if she had to live without him, it was better than the alternative. Why couldn’t he understand that?

  The corners around Jay’s eyes tightened and she realized she’d said too much. She’d never told him that her sister’s death was her fault. Bracing for the inevitable questions, she was surprised when they didn’t come.

  “What’s this Kevin’s last name?”

  For a brief moment she thought about not telling him, but knew Jay would find out anyway. “Murrell, but I still don’t want you involved in this. I’m going to pay him what I owe him then explain that I was fired from the Serafina. He’ll likely be pissed, but he won’t have a reason to come after me and he’ll have his damn money.”

  Jay just snorted and reached into his jacket pocket. When he held out his hand, palm up and handed her two familiar diamond earrings, her heart stuttered. “Where…how?”

  “Wyatt bought them back,” he said, dropping them into her hand.

  Ellie ran her free hand over her face. Now she owed him for that too. Her throat tightened and she struggled to find something, anything to say to Jay, but couldn’t force the words out.

  Finally he broke the silence. “I need to call Wyatt so why don’t you go change and get some rest?” He was cold now, remote, and she hated it.

  She shook her head. “I don’t want—”

  “I don’t care what you want,” he snapped, the tendons in his neck pulled tight as he turned away from her.

  Though she should have expected it, the verbal shut down was like a slap. Feeling lost and exhausted, she made her way upstairs and tried, but failed, to bury the pain at having ruined everything with Jay. A hot shower wouldn’t fix anything, but it might get rid of that strip club stench.

  *

  Wyatt nodded once at Iris and Hayden as he entered the security room at the Serafina. Almost immediately they stepped away from the different personnel they were talking to and headed for Iris’s office on the east side of the expansive room. Video monitors covered an entire wall and there were eyes on each one. Tuning out the steady hum of activity, he strode down the ramped walkway that looped around to where the offices were, avoiding the trek through the middle of the security area.

  He met Iris and Hayden as they reached the door of her office. Smiling at him, despite the tension in the air, Iris brushed her lips over his and it took all his restraint to not take it into something deeper as his instinct demanded. Now was definitely not the time. But he loved that she didn’t hide her affection for him. He knew some people thought he’d given her the job because she was his wife, but he didn’t care what anyone thought. Former military, trained in too many weapons to count and tough as nails, she was more qualified than anyone he knew.

  Once the three of them were inside, he shut the door, then pressed a button on the panel that gave the glass wall overlooking the security pit a frosted look so no one could see inside.

  “So Ellie’s really okay?” Hayden asked, his concern for his brother’s girlfriend real.

  “Yeah, she got a little roughed up, but it could have been a hell of a lot worse. I thought Jay was going to kill the owner of Teaser’s.” He glanced at Iris, who was leaning against the front of her desk, before he looked at Hayden. “I’m going to have Vadim doing a lot of research in the very near future on Leonard Smith, but I need you to make sure Jay won’t go after him.” Wyatt had seen the look of rage in Jay’s eyes and was thankful the man hadn’t done more than he had to Smith.

  Hayden nodded. “Of course.”

  “I’m serious. No little visit to rough him up, nothing. He can’t be seen near that guy. What I’m about to tell you doesn’t leave this room, but Smith’s security guy…I know him. I have no idea why he was working at Teaser’s, but he’s a cop. Or used to be or more likely he’s working undercover because he didn’t do anything to call in backup or tell Ellie to press charges. I have no idea what the story is and I don’t know how Ellie knows him, but he’s a witness to me, Ellie, Jay and Brannon being there. We now have a connection to that garbage so make sure Jay stays away.”

  Expression grim, Hayden nodded. “Got it.”

  Wyatt semi-relaxed, knowing Hayden would make sure Jay listened to reason. Wyatt planned to tell Jay exactly what he’d told Hayden and Iris, but the man listened to his brother more than anyone. Except Ellie. Ellie. He still had no clue what she’d gotten herself into but he was damn sure going to find out. “Where’s Vadim?”

  Iris’s jaw twitched ever so slightly. “He had to take care of something personal, but he did a little digging into Ellie’s background. More than what your initial background checks on employees cover. He covered pretty much everything he could find, but what’s most interesting is the phone call she received this morning. I’m guessing it was right before she ran. She was on the phone for a little over a minute before the call ended. The owner of the cell phone is Tadeo Bejar—he just got out of prison and runs with Carlo De Luca’s crew.”

  Wyatt let his wife’s words sink in. De Luca was a piece of trash Wyatt would love to see run out of his city. There was a criminal element in Vegas Wyatt didn’t mind. They broke laws and sometimes caused havoc, but they also took care of the people in their neighborhoods. He could respect that. Things weren’t always black and white, something he’d learned at a young age. De Luca was like a cancer who cared for no one but himself. He had a history of violent behavior and his little enterprise had grown steadily over the last five years. Wyatt had been keeping an eye on him and now he planned to do more than that if that bastard had threatened Ellie. “Does she have any ties to De Luca?”

  Iris shook her head. “Not that V could find and not that Hayden knows of. Personally, I can’t see prim and proper Ellie involved with low life criminals. We’ll need to talk to her and Jay though.”

  As if on cue, Wyatt’s phone rang and Jay’s number appeared on caller ID. “Hey, I’m with Iris and Hayden, I’m putting you on speaker,” he said as he answered, waiting for Jay to okay it.

  “Hey, guys.” There was an edge to Jay’s voice Wyatt had never heard. The man was like titanium under pressure, but not now. “Ellie’s upstairs so I’m going to make this quick.”

  After Jay relayed all the details of why Ellie had run, Wyatt asked, “Does she know if this Kevin is involved with a Tadeo Bejar? He just got out of prison and he’s with De Luca’s crew.”

  The silence on the other end seemed to stretch for an eternity. “She didn’t mention the name,
just that her ex contacted her. Maybe Bejar and Kevin were inside together? Can V—”

  “Yeah, I’ll have him look into both of them. Go get some rest and take care of Ellie. I’ll call you with any updates.”

  Wyatt knew Jay wanted to argue, but his friend just grunted and hung up. “If Kevin stole from De Luca and is now trying to get in with his crew, there’s no way De Luca knows what he did. And there’s no way he’s going to go to De Luca about Ellie. Even if he lies and says she took his money that means he’d have been sitting on the information for eight years.”

  “But Kevin still wants her to rob the Serafina,” Hayden said.

  “It’s probably his in with De Luca’s crew,” Iris continued. “Which is a bold move. He stole this guy’s money, but now wants to work with him.”

  Wyatt nodded, thinking of the clusterfuck that had just been dropped into his lap. He had a ton of paperwork to do and a thousand other things that simply couldn’t wait and now one of Vegas’s criminal elements wanted to rob him. Using one of his most trusted employees no less. “Send V to see me as soon as he gets back,” Wyatt said to Iris, who nodded before tilting her head at Hayden.

  The other man quietly left the office, shutting the door behind him. As the door clicked into place Iris wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his shoulder. “I think you need a hug,” she murmured.

  He chuckled lightly, some of the tension draining from him at her touch. “I need a big fucking drink. But I’ll take the hug anytime.”

  Chapter Six

  Jay pressed his hand against the master bathroom door, curling his fingers against the wood as he listened to the shower running. He’d just gotten off the phone with Wyatt and should be following up with other contacts, doing his own damn research on Ellie’s ex, but he didn’t want to be anywhere but with her.

  The fact that she’d left him raked against his insides like razor wire, but the agony and fear in her voice when she’d told him why she’d left was impossible to ignore. He wanted to be angry with her and he was, sort of, but more than that, he wanted to break through that wall between them. The one that made her think it was okay for her to run away. He loved that she wanted to protect him, but the fear he’d seen in her eyes today was too much. There was nothing she couldn’t come to him about, nothing he wouldn’t take on to protect her.

  He’d also seen self-loathing in her beautiful brown eyes. When she’d confessed that she’d been the reason her sister died, the shame in her expression and body language had been too much. He knew her sister had died in a car accident, but Ellie never talked about her family or her life before college. It was like a giant blank slate.

  Every time he tried to push for details she shut down or changed the subject. Didn’t matter how hard he tried, Ellie was stubborn. That silence was about to change though. They were going to face this threat head on together.

  Stripping off his clothes, he tossed them onto the bed before opening the bathroom door.

  “Jay?”

  Her petite body was blurred behind the thick glass wall enclosure of the shower.

  “Yeah.” He sounded gruffer than he’d intended. Clearing his throat he continued, “You okay?”

  “Fine.” A clipped answer that didn’t give him a hint of what she was feeling.

  Yeah, she didn’t get to hold back anymore. Feeling like a nervous teenager, he strode across the cool tile until he stepped down into the enclosure of their oversized shower. When he’d bought the place he’d had some immediate changes made, including expanding the shower. At almost six and a half feet tall, he liked his damn space.

  Ellie’s back was to him, her long blonde hair plastered to her back as she stood under the pulsing jet of the shower. But she was completely aware of him. He could see it in the way her back stiffened as he stepped inside. His cock hardened instantly at the sight of her toned, fit body. Compact, curvy and all his. Hell yeah, she was still his. Something he planned to make sure she understood. He didn’t care if he had to show her over and over. She was going to understand how important she was to him. What he’d do for her. That they belonged together.

  “Did you talk to Wyatt?” she asked. She didn’t turn around as he drank in the sight of her smooth back and over the tempting curves of her ass. Water dotted all along her tight body, making him even harder.

  “Yeah. He’s aware of the situation.” But he didn’t want to discuss the details of that conversation now. “Why did you say your sister’s death was your fault?” he asked as he settled his hands on her slender hips.

  Her entire body pulled taut and she tried to shift away from him, but he held firm. She wasn’t getting away from him this time. Pulling her back to him, he savored the little gasp of surprise she made at the feel of his cock against her back. Leaning down, he nipped at her ear as water rushed over him. “Why are you surprised by my reaction?”

  Even above the sound of the water he could hear her swallow hard. “I’m not. It’s just biology,” she said in a rush.

  Bullshit it was. “So you think the sight of any naked woman would make me hard?” He teased her earlobe with his teeth, knowing his calmness would get her riled up.

  “They better not,” she snapped, then seemed to remember herself. “Jay, what are you doing?”

  He rolled his hips against her. “You really need me to explain?” he asked as he slipped one hand from her hip over her flat belly, then lower, lower until he cupped her mound.

  “This…don’t you…aren’t you angry at me?” Her voice shook, getting worse when he gently rubbed his middle finger over her clit.

  “I’m furious, baby. But that doesn’t change what’s between us.” And he planned to strengthen their bond in every possible way he could.

  “But…” She sucked in a breath when he increased the pressure of his finger ever so slightly. “Don’t you want me gone? Or is this about a last…time? Angry sex?” She whispered the last couple words, her voice wobbling.

  Which only pissed him off more. He stopped stroking but held her tight. “You think I’d do that?” He couldn’t keep the anger from his voice now even if he’d wanted to.

  “No! I just don’t understand why you still want me after the way I ran. Especially now that you know all about my past. I used stolen money to pay for school, my ex was a criminal and I…I did so many stupid things that you shouldn’t want me.” Her head dropped, almost as if she was ashamed again.

  Everyone did stupid things, especially when they were young. He would never judge her for her past—he was in love with who she was now and he wanted the whole package. Not some sanitized version of herself she seemed to think he needed. “What happened with your sister?”

  She was silent so long he figured he’d pushed too hard too fast, had miscalculated by asking now. When she spoke though, her voice was harsh and bitter. “In high school I was a bit of a geek. Not un-liked or unpopular, but back then I was shy and hadn’t quite grown into myself and much preferred studying to going out on weekends. When I was sixteen a couple girls from my study group convinced me to go to a party one Saturday. It was fun enough and I had a good time, but I drank more than I realized. I was even smaller then so you can imagine my tolerance.”

  She shrugged, her laugh sounding hollow and packed full of years of anger. “I was terrified of how my dad would react—which considering he was an alcoholic, I can now appreciate the irony—so I called my sister. She was four years older than me and had moved out right at eighteen. Anne Marie was so beautiful. Tall, willowy, looked just like our mom. And she could dance. Could have gone to any professional school in the world, but she loved Vegas. Absolutely loved it here.”

  The pain intermixed with love in her voice was so real it punched right through Jay. He’d never heard Ellie talk so openly about her family. “At twenty she was already headlining one of the biggest shows on the strip. She had her whole life ahead of her…” Ellie trailed off and Jay tightened his hold, wrapping his arms around her waist. She melte
d against him, trembling.

  “You don’t have to continue.” He buried his face against the back of her head, inhaling the subtle vanilla scent of her recently shampooed hair.

  She took a shuddering breath. “Yes, I do. I’m sure you can fill in the rest anyway. She died in an accident on the way to pick me up. It wasn’t a drunk driver either. Just an accident. There was no one to blame but me. If I hadn’t been drinking and stuck for a ride, she wouldn’t have died.”

  “It wasn’t your fault.” He knew his words would fall on deaf ears, but he had to say them anyway. He couldn’t believe she’d lived with that kind of guilt for so long.

  She snorted. “Yeah well, my father certainly thought so. He split a week after her funeral and made sure I knew it was because of what I’d done. I ripped the family apart, he said. I was killing our mother. I’d killed Anne Marie. I should have been the one who died,” she whispered the last part.

  “Damn it.” Jay turned Ellie around, pulling her out of the spray of water and stepping under it so he’d block her from the steady onslaught. “Look at me.”

  She did, but her hands were still at her sides, as if she was afraid to touch him. The fear he saw in her gaze was too much. Fear that he’d reject her. It made his chest ache. “You were sixteen doing things stupid sixteen-year-olds do. And it wasn’t even that stupid. You drank too much—probably for the first time ever—and were smart enough to call someone to get you. Her death was tragic, but you’re not to blame. And your father putting all that on you? Fuck him. He left his family after a terrible tragedy. That makes him a gutless bastard.” Jay couldn’t fathom blaming a kid, his own kid at that, after something so tragic.