by Linda Ungar
Why had she attracted his interest? She never dressed for attention, preferring simple understated clothing. It would require an educated eye to realize she had an expensive wardrobe. Today she had added the diamond star.
Karen finally put down her cup and signaled for the waiter. The staring man, as she had nicknamed him, abruptly got up and approached her table. Handing his credit card to the waiter, he said “This lady is my guest, please put it on my card.”
Karen involuntarily clutched her star.
“Oh that’s not necessary,” she burst out, but the waiter was already hurrying to do as the stranger had ordered.
“I hope you don’t think me too forward, but when I saw you I said to myself, who is that terribly attractive woman? I must meet her. Please allow me to introduce myself, Nigel Craxford.”
She offered her hand, which he took in both of his, accompanied by a warm disarming smile.
“Karen Miller”, she managed.
“I’m not going to pretend I haven’t been staring at you. It’s not only that I find you terribly attractive, but I also thought we might have met before.”
“Maybe I just have a common face.”
“There’s nothing common about you.”
“Unless you’ve been to Allentown, Pennsylvania, not exactly a tourist hotspot, we haven’t met. I must remind you of someone else you’ve met, somewhere else in your past.”
“Well, I’m not really so interested in the past, rather the future. Do you have any plans for the rest of the afternoon?”
Oh God, Karen thought, this can’t be happening to me, especially at my age. As usual, Karen underestimated herself. Years of neglect had made her unaware of her quiet beauty.
“Not really,” she said, amazed that she was able to answer in a normal voice. Her mind was racing, her heart pounding.
“I’m here on business, by myself. I live in a little village, Shincliffe, right outside Durham. It’s north of here. Anyway, I thought since I love London, I’d come a few days early and treat myself to a holiday. There are a lot of places, walking distance from here, that you might find interesting. And I know I’m interested in getting to know you. So what do you say to both of us taking a chance? How risky can that be?”
She hesitated, but realized it would be a great story to tell when she got home.
“Why not?”
They stepped out into a heavy rain. Yesterday had also been rainy. Low dark clouds hovered over the city, depressing Karen. She’d felt lonely and anxious. The weather hadn’t changed, but with Nigel at her side, she had. They had to lean in close together to avoid being soaked. She felt an instant connection to him as he protected her from the downpour. She who was normally so reticent, was amazed at how easy conversation was with him. They spent the next few hours talking and laughing.
As they left the last museum the city was dark. Fog surrounded them. Sheltered under his umbrella, she couldn’t see the world beyond him. Now arm in arm in comfortable silence, they walked for several blocks until they came to an inviting looking pub. Flower filled window boxes flanked the entrance. Soft light spilled from the windows and shone on the raindrops clinging to the petals. She hadn’t noticed any flowers yesterday. They looked at each other, smiled and went in for dinner.
They settled at their table, happy to be out of the weather. Shadows from flickering candles moved across the whitewashed walls and low beamed ceiling. The cozy room, a respite from the frantic pace of the city. The waiter approached for their order.
“I’ll have a pint of Guinness and a shandy for my lady”.
Hearing that upper class British accent, she could imagine him a knight and she his lady. Stop being ridiculous, she told herself. She felt like a foolish young girl. But in spite of her age, the foolish young girl had a will to live. She was surprised how much she enjoyed her shandy. She had never cared for beer or ginger ale, and yet the odd combination was delicious. She thought she and Nigel an odd combination, but perhaps they’d also be wonderful together. It was during dinner that he complimented her on her star.
“It does suit you, bright and beautiful. I’ll have to call you Star.”
“Karen will do.” Though secretly she preferred Star.
When Karen woke the next morning, she was not alone. Doubt had rejoined her and was now in control of her thoughts. She relived the moments she had spent with Nigel and refused to believe he could actually be attracted to her. When he said goodnight, it was with a light kiss on each cheek. His last words were “I’ll call.” That’s how you could say goodnight to your grandmother. And wasn’t “I’ll call” a polite way of saying you’ll never hear from me again? She felt a complete fool to be so enamored with a man she barely knew.
The phone ringing by her bed interrupted the fresh round of attacks she was planning to launch against herself.
“Good morning Star. Did you have a good night?”
Karen could have cried with relief at the sound of Nigel’s voice.
“Yes I did. The room is very comfortable and quiet.”
“Good, then perhaps you’ll be ready for more sightseeing today. The weather has cleared and I have lots of plans for you.”
“I’m all yours.”
“That’s exactly what I hoped you’d say.”
Their day together was wonderful. Feeling relaxed by Nigel’s attention, her anxiety and doubt ebbed away. When she spoke, he listened to her the way Dr. Salwyn did, and she had to pay for that.
The following day they spent antiquing. He guided her through a maze of winding streets and alleys, finding obscure shops. He had an instinct for quality and frequently discovered overlooked treasures. He was eager to share his knowledge, and warned her, “It’s not always easy to spot a fake.”
The first time Nigel kissed her, really kissed her, happened early one evening as they stood in Greenwich Park overlooking the Thames. She had been going on about something she found particularly amusing. These last few days she found so much to be amused about. What a chatterbox she had become, now that she had an interested audience. Nigel, however, seemed not to be listening to her story. He leaned down toward her and whispered, “If you’ll stop talking for a moment I’ll kiss you.” With that, he tipped her face towards his, took her in his arms and kept his promise.
Karen stayed in his arms.
“You’re making it so hard for me to leave.”
“That’s the plan.”
He took her back to her hotel. This time she had no doubt about his feelings. Eager to be alone, they walked quickly through the opulent lobby. Nigel made no comment when she opened the door to her luxurious suite. Driven by desire, he came to her, not as a stranger, but as a lover who knew how to arouse all her passions. He undressed her slowly, caressing and admiring each part of her body. “You are a star,” he murmured hoarsely, “the most beautiful heaven ever made.” She stopped his words with her mouth, kissing him deeply, trying to find his soul. Her world disappeared in his embrace. All she could feel was what he was doing to her body.
Morning brought the most contentment and calm that Karen had ever known. She saw his still sleeping face and stared at the man who had brought her such pleasure during the night. It didn’t seem possible that they had met only a week ago. He turned towards her as he woke, reaching for her before he spoke. When he did speak, she couldn’t believe his words.
“Marry me.”
“What?”
“Marry me,” he repeated.
“We hardly know each other.”
He turned onto his back, stretching out his lean body, he rested his hands behind his head and looked away from her. He directed his gaze at the ceiling for a few silent moments. He seemed upset, disappointed.
“Well here’s something you can know about me. Love at first sight, runs in my family. My parents became engaged five weeks after they met, and were married for forty-six years. With you I feel complete. It’s like I’ve lost something and found i
t again in you.”
Karen regained enough control of her emotions to answer sensibly. “We still don’t know enough about each other yet.”
“I know what I feel.”
“I know what I feel too, but that’s no reason to rush.”
“No reason to rush, what about your trip here coming to an end? You’re supposed to go back home next weekend.”
“I can postpone that. I’ll see if I can make some arrangement with the hotel to extend my stay. I’ll email Lori to let her know I’m changing my return date.”
That’s all she was willing to let Lori know now. If this all ended badly, there was no way she wanted to face what she knew would be a lengthy interrogation. Some things are best kept secret.
Karen was now engulfed in confusion. She was no longer able to hold her emotions in check. Having broken free, they scattered in all directions, leaving her hopelessly at sea. Clearly she was smitten with Nigel, probably even in love. She had longed for Andy to be much more of a husband and a lover, and now when she was so passionately pursued, she felt guilty. Like she was cheating. A lot of the guilt was there because she knew how much she wanted Nigel. Was she shallow and disloyal falling so easily into the arms of someone new? Nigel studied her face and sensed her torment. “Karen,” he said gently, “the last thing I wanted to do was to upset you. Think about us, and what we could have together. I need time to rearrange my schedule too, so I can stay on longer. Perhaps I should do all that tomorrow. That would give you a day on you own, without any pressure, so you can sort out what you need to. I’ll call you the day after. If you need more time, don’t worry, I’ll be here whenever you want me.” She nodded mutely in agreement.
Nigel left the hotel confident he would not lose Karen. Understanding her reservations, he would do nothing to frighten her away. You don’t come across a woman like her often. Instinct told him she was a prize worth having. He knew he could win her trust, it just required patience and skill. Years by the water had made him an excellent fisherman.
The day without him felt all wrong, but her time alone enabled her to realize that she did not want to spend the remainder of her life alone without love. She was able to put Andy to rest and say her final goodbye to her marriage. She knew Andy had said his goodbye to their marriage years before he died. She was ready to face the future without burdens from the past.
Nigel, careful of her feelings, didn’t put any pressure on her to reach a decision. His mood was lighthearted and playful. He brought a camera along and announced that they were going to have an outing to Oxford. “I’ve hired a car for the day, we can be back here after dinner.”
They made their way through the winding streets of the beautiful old city. Oxford, the city of spires, with its pealing bells and many steeples all vying for heaven’s attention. He stopped her several times to pose in front of places that were particularly picturesque. They did not speak of tomorrow, only today. For lunch he had managed to pick up a hamper at Taylors, a restaurant that specialized in providing gourmet picnics. He went back to the car to retrieve an oilcloth and a blanket to put over it. Karen looked at him, “You think of everything.”
“I try.”
Their destination was the Rainbow Bridge on the River Cherwell, a favorite picnic spot for locals and tourists. It was a rare English summer day. It had rained during the night. The day, freshly washed, sparkled in the sun. They spread out their picnic under a tree that hung over the river. A fresh breeze rustled the branches, releasing a sudden shower of raindrops that had remained on the leaves. They laughed in surprise, their picnic dampened, but not their spirits. Karen bloomed in the soft summer day. Her blue eyes sparkled, her cheeks grew rosy.
Nigel took out his camera again and took several more photographs of her. “I’m really trying to capture you.” At last he seemed satisfied. “I’ll show you these, when they’re developed. I hope you like them.” She was impressed that he didn’t use a cell phone for a camera. He seemed knowledgeable about photography.
They left rather late, tired from their long day. As Nigel drove them back to London, she rested her head on his shoulder and snuggled against his arm. She couldn’t wait to fall into bed, but this time it was only sleep she longed for. She was almost giddy with exhaustion. “I have to warn you,” she giggled, “my family lives forever, so if I do say yes, you could be stuck with me for a long time.”
Nigel kept his eyes on the dark road ahead of them.
“I’m not worried.”
Karen stepped hurriedly out of the shower and glanced at the small clock on her dressing table. It was a gift from Nigel. When he gave it to her, smiling mischievously, he told her “Whenever you look at it, you have to think it’s time for Nigel.” She couldn’t help but be charmed and flattered. But looking at the clock now, she realized time was running out. There was a lot she needed to do before Nigel came for her. He was taking her to dinner at Rules, a famous old restaurant in Covent Garden and then to the theater. She wanted to look her best. Sitting down in front of her mirror, she was pleased with what she saw. Gone was the timid mouse afraid of the world. Now she saw not just a reflection, but herself, vibrant, confident and pretty. She had blossomed. New growth flowered on an old branch.
She loved Rules, dark and clubby, walls crowded with pictures. It was perfect. Her eyes darted around the room, trying to take it all in.
“I’m over here.” Nigel joked, bringing her attention back to him.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Karen stammered, embarrassed that that she appeared rude.
“I’m kidding.” Nigel reassured her. “It’s just the reaction I wanted you to have, as well as this.” He handed her a small shopping bag she hadn’t noticed before. She reached in and pulled out a beautiful scarf. The design was a copy of an Audubon print, a pair of bluebirds perched on a flowering branch. It too was perfect.
“I thought the blue would be just the thing for your eyes. Let’s see how it looks.” He placed the scarf lightly around her neck. She loved its silken feel.
The play, a hit in London and New York, was wonderful. The only problem was the audience laughed so long, she occasionally missed hearing some lines. How long can this fairytale life go on, she wondered?
She still hid the truth from Lori, telling her only, as Lori already suspected, that she had met someone. She assured her she was having fun, but it was nothing serious. She spoke to her daughter frequently and sounded so happy that Lori was convinced that something more serious was going on, but respected her mother’s privacy. After all, it had been her idea for Karen to go.
Nigel thought perhaps, it was time to propose again. Again the answer was no. Now she was sure that she loved him and told him that, but something in her still hesitated. He understood her feelings, but insisted they were destined for each other.
“Ever since we first met, I felt I knew you and that we belonged together. So for me, I don’t think it’s too soon, but overdue. I’m not discouraged, I’m optimistic that soon you’ll agree.”
Since they had been in London for several weeks now, Nigel explained that he had business to deal with that required some occasional meetings here in London and also some travel. During the times she was on her own, he was never far from her heart. She delighted in spending that time shopping for things she knew he would enjoy, handcrafted chocolates, a favorite wine or clothing she thought he’d look good in. She never discussed her financial situation with him, but knew it was evident from her ability to extend her stay and remain in her suite that she was quite affluent. But aside from the small gifts that he happily accepted, he never allowed her to pay for anything. He insisted it was his job to take care of her. It was reassuring that he didn’t appear to be interested in her money. In fact, it was he who was trying to convince her that he was able to provide for all her needs.
Apparently he had run a successful import-export business that had taken him to all parts of the world. He told her he was in the process of finalizing a
deal to sell the business. He was looking forward to retirement. In addition to that, he had inherited quite a bit from his mother’s side of the family, including a small cottage in Cornwall. It had been in his mother’s family for generations and meant a great deal to him. “I’ll have to take you there. I’m not telling you all this to boast, but to show you that when, not if, you say yes, you’ll know you’re not marrying a pauper.”
“I didn’t think you were.”
Shortly after that conversation, he told her he had just heard from his cousin Amanda, who had moved to Australia with her family when Nigel was still an infant. The families had remained in touch, in spite of the distance. Now her mother, his mother’s sister, had died and wanted Nigel to have a few antiques that had been in the family for as long as anyone could remember. She was shipping them by freighter, so didn’t know exactly when they’d arrive. “I’m guessing that’s the last of my inheritance.”
It took Nigel somewhat longer to discuss a painful part of his past. He asked to go to her suite so they could speak in private. She had confessed to him that she had had a lonely marriage with Andy. She knew he had been married also and that his wife had died, but he had given no further details, and had quickly changed the subject. She didn’t press him, assuming he’d talk about it when he was ready. This was exactly the kind of thing she felt it was important to know before making any commitment to him. He never talked about his late wife. Now she would learn why.