Kit’s lips tug in a tired smile. “I hope it’s not the last time either,” he says, arching an eyebrow.
I bite my lip, meeting his gaze. “Me too.”
And it’s the truth. After so many years of being embarrassed by my own body. Embarrassed of my pleasure. Ashamed of the physical needs inside me, this feels…incredible. Like a whole world is opening up in front of me, one where I can ask for pleasure instead of just giving it. One where my needs are just as important as my partner’s.
One where, apparently, I can squirt.
Kit smiles, sitting up to lay a soft kiss on my lips. “Let’s shower,” he says, scooping me up and setting me down on my feet. He intertwines his fingers in mine and leads me to the bathroom.
19
Kit
My heart jumps as Serena strips off her sweats, kicking them to the side. Her cheeks are pink, and there’s a flush spreading over her neck and chest. She glances at me, biting her lip. I wipe the last of my orgasm off my stomach with a tissue and meet her gaze with a grin.
“What?” I ask, letting my own pants drop to the floor.
“A guy hasn’t seen me naked in a long time,” she says after a pause, her eyes dropping down as her eyelashes fan over her cheeks. I let out a sigh, my eyes sweeping down her gorgeous, curvy body. Her arms are wrapped around her middle as if she’s trying to hide herself. Goosebumps sweep over her skin in the cool bathroom, and I take a step closer to wrap my arms around her.
“Do you want to shower by yourself?” I ask softly, tilting her chin up toward my face.
Serena lets out a soft breath, her shoulders softening. She drops her arms and shakes her head. “No.”
I smile, kissing her softly, running my hands over her body. Her arms unfurl and wrap around me, running down to feel the curve of my ass. I like the way she touches me, as if she’s discovering something new. My cock likes it, too, judging by the fact that I’m getting hard again already. I kiss her once more, then turn to the shower and turn on the water. I test it with my hand for a few seconds, then step inside. The big, rain shower head pours over us and I pull Serena under, letting the water warm our chilled bodies.
She lets out a sigh, sweeping her hands over my chest. A smile tugs at her lips. “Did you really like that? What we did out there?”
I almost choke, staring at her. “Did I like it?” I ask, grinning. “Did you see the obscene amount of jizz that shot out of me?”
Serena giggles, that sexy little blush warming her cheeks. “Is that not normal for you?”
“Not any more normal than what you did.” I cup her cheeks and kiss her. God, I can’t get enough of her lips. Ever since I’ve met her, it’s been all I’ve thought about. Just dreaming about her body, her lips, her kiss. Now that I have her in my arms, I don’t want to let her go.
I run my tongue across the seam of her lips until she parts them for me, melting into my embrace. We shared something out there. Something special. It binds us in a way I can’t explain. Not yet.
Nagging at the back of my mind, though, is the shadow of her brother. I’m doing exactly the same thing Finn did, and shame nips at my heart. I shove it down. I’ll deal with it later.
Serena reaches for the body wash and lathers it up on a washcloth, spreading it over my chest. I let her wash me, loving her touch. It’s intimate. Even though blood starts pumping between my legs and I’m at half-mast within about four seconds, it doesn’t feel entirely sexual.
She stares up at me, a tiny smile hanging on her lips, rinsing the washcloth. I grab a clean one from the shelf outside the shower and do the same for her. As my hands sweep over her body, I pull her back against my chest. I let my hands run over her curves, feeling her tense as I touch her hips.
“You okay?”
Serena bites her lip and shakes her head. “It’s nothing.”
“Tell me.” I hold her close, letting the water wash the suds off our bodies. Serena stares at the wall, and I think it helps that she has her back to me. Pushing her thick hair off her shoulder, I lay a soft kiss on her neck.
Finally, Serena lets out a sigh. “My ex used to call me fat. He’d pinch my love handles and—” She stops, inhaling sharply.
“And what?” My body is tenser than it was a few seconds ago. Protective anger sweeps over me, and I wish I’d punched that asshole when I had the chance.
“I just felt disgusting for a long time,” she finishes, her voice small. “It was okay when we were out there”—she nods to the living room—“but now that I’m not all drunk with lust, it’s just bringing up a lot of memories.”
I spin Serena around, cupping her cheeks. I stare into her eyes, not sure how to tell her everything I feel. “You’re beautiful,” I say, knowing it doesn’t even come close to conveying what I mean. “Your body is perfect.”
She scoffs, and I shake my head, tilting her chin up so she has no choice but to look at me.
“I mean it, Serena. You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever met. I’ve had a permanent hard-on ever since I saw you at the airport. I’ve only jerked off to the thought of you since the day I met you.”
Serena’s eyes widen. “I…I think I’m flattered by that.”
“You should be.” I laugh, kissing the tip of her nose. “I don’t say it lightly.”
“It’s just hard to shake these feelings. Angelo did a lot of damage to my self-esteem.”
“I’d like to do a lot of damage to his fucking face,” I say through gritted teeth, unable to hide my anger. Serena tenses in my arms, shying away from me slightly. I frown. “What? What did I say?”
Serena sighs, shaking her head. “I just like you more when you’re not…violent.” Her eyebrows arch as she lifts her eyes to mine, telling me a thousand things she can’t say with her voice.
My heart breaks for her. It shatters right there in my chest, because I see just how broken she’s been. How low she’s been dragged down, how worthless she’s felt.
And I’m not going to lie, it makes me angry. It makes me want to be violent with Angelo. It makes a protective instinct flare inside me, stronger than I’ve ever felt before.
But Serena trembles, even under the warm stream of the shower, and I know it’s not what she needs right now. Wrapping my arms around her, I kiss the top of her head and hold her close until the tightness in her muscles unwinds.
Angling her face into the shower, I’m not sure if her face is wet with tears or water. I don’t pry. My heart thumps, and I know I need to cherish this woman. All I want is to be here for her and make her understand how special she is.
But I feel powerless in the face of everything she’s been through. I don’t know how to make her understand what I see in her. We finish washing in silence and step out of the shower together. As she dries herself off with a towel, Serena smiles at me.
“Thanks, Kit.”
“For what?”
She shrugs. “For being you.” Wrapping her towel around her torso, I mourn the fact that her body is hidden from me. Serena steps over to me and lays a kiss on my lips, lingering there for a moment, and she leans into me. “I’m glad we met.”
My throat grows tight as I nod. “Me too.”
Even as we stand there, wrapped in the steam of our first shower together, feeling the afterglow of our orgasms, I know there’s still something standing between us.
Robbie.
Maybe even more than that. Serena’s guarded, and I’m not sure she’s ready for anything remotely romantic. The thought makes an ache pulse in my chest.
My feelings for Serena are growing at breakneck speed. It’s overwhelming. Every minute I spend in her presence makes me feel like she’s the woman for me. Like if I ever let her slip through my fingers, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. Like she can make me feel whole again, when my whole life has been one long exercise in losing the people I love most.
I watch as she scrunches product into her hair and then wraps it in a soft, clean T-shirt she grabs from one of the bathroom
cupboards. Did she put that in there? She plops the whole thing on top of her head, tying it up in a practiced motion so that all her hair is piled high underneath the cotton top. I frown as she meets my eye in the mirror.
Serena grins. “Curly hair is complicated. It takes a lot of work to look this effortless.”
“I’ll take your word for it. Whatever you’re doing, it’s working.”
Her cheeks flush, and for the hundredth time, I wonder how often her ex-boyfriend complimented her. Did he ever tell her he liked her hair? Did he ever tell her how beautiful she was?
My instinct says no, and I vow to never do that to her. Serena needs to know just how incredible she is, how much she makes my heart thump, and how much she gives me hope for a future I never thought I’d have.
But as we go to our respective rooms to get dressed, I glance at my phone. Robbie’s name flashes on the screen, and a wave of shame and betrayal washes over me.
Robbie: How’s my sister settling in? She’s not telling me much.
I cringe. I need to talk to him. Tell him what I feel for her. Let him know it’s serious—or at least, I want it to be.
I glance at my closed door and wonder if Serena feels the same way. We’ve gone from zero to a hundred in a couple of weeks, and I don’t know if she feels as overwhelmed as I do.
As much as I hate to even think it, we might have to slow down. We’re both untangling complicated pasts and just trying to figure out what we want. What if we’re just leaning on each other while we heal? What if this isn’t as real as it seems?
What if Robbie doesn’t approve, and I have to choose between the only person I’ve been able to trust for the past few months and the woman who makes my heart thump?
I drop my chin to my chest, sighing. I need to speak to Robbie before Serena and I take things any further.
Kit: She seems good. Happy.
It’s a non-answer. I’m skirting the issue, and I’m not really answering his question. I put my phone face down on my dresser and finish putting my clothes on, vowing to speak to him as soon as I see him at work in three days’ time.
20
Serena
Kit and I spend the night in his bed. I expect him to take things further than we did on the couch, but he just wraps his arms around me and falls asleep. The alarm bells that always trill in my head when a man is near quiet down enough for me to relax, but I still feel vaguely afraid. My feelings are mushrooming beyond my control. I’m vulnerable.
What if he hurts me? What if he wants too much from me?
I’m not sure I have enough strength to be in a relationship. I don’t even know what a real relationship feels like.
As if he can sense my unease, Kit shifts in his sleep and drags me into his body, my back hitting his chest as he pulls me close. The fear inside me lessens and I let my body relax into his and drift off to sleep in his arms. Safe. Warm. Happy.
When I wake up, I know three days with Kit is too short—especially when he tells me that he wants to take things slow until he talks to Robbie.
My bottom lip juts out in a pout. “Am I just some possession that you have to ask permission to use? I don’t like the implication of you needing to talk to my brother.”
Kit shakes his head, running his hands over my arms. We’re standing in the kitchen, the coffee machine gurgling in the corner.
“It’s not about asking permission. It’s about being respectful to a man I call my friend.”
“It’s still patriarchal and weird.”
“He asked me to look after you, Serena. It’s the same thing I asked of Finn, and I felt betrayed when I learned he’d been hooking up with my sister.”
I let out a breath, turning my head to the side. Kit takes a finger and tilts my chin toward him. I drag my eyes up his muscled chest and over his strong jaw, not wanting to meet his gaze. When I do, his eyes are soft.
“I don’t want this to affect my friendship or my work relationship with Robbie. I’m not asking permission to date you. I’m just treating him how I would’ve liked to be treated.”
I pout, and Kit lets out a low chuckle. My uterus clenches at the noise, totally in his thrall.
Sighing, I relent. “Fine. But how slow is slow?”
Kit’s lips quirk and he shrugs, turning to pour us a couple of coffees. “Not that slow. Can you live another week without my cock inside you?”
“Don’t be crass.”
He grins, his smile so masculine and sexy it shouldn’t be allowed. He glances over his shoulder. “You didn’t mind me being crass last night.”
“That was different.”
He hands me a mug of coffee. “Let’s just enjoy these few days together.” Leaning over, he presses a soft, chaste kiss to my lips. My body arches toward him.
Taking it slow feels like torture already.
Rain belts down onto the roof of the house as Kit glances out the window and sighs. “I’d hoped to get a hike in today or maybe a bike ride. It’s pretty wet out there.”
“Willow invited me over to the Black Estate for lunch and movies this afternoon,” I say. “I guess I could ask if I can bring you.” I tilt my head. “Unless that’s moving too fast for you?”
My question sounds innocent, but my eyes flash. Kit’s face breaks into a smile as he reaches for my coffee, pulling it from my hands and placing the steaming mug on the kitchen table. He throws me over his shoulder as I yelp, protesting all the way to the bedroom.
Kit throws me down on the bed and crawls over me, groaning. “I won’t last three days trying to stay away from you.”
“So stop trying.” I arch an eyebrow, seeing the temptation in his eyes. He drops his head to my neck, dropping a trail of soft kisses down my collarbone.
When his hands tug my pajama shorts down, I let out a happy gasp. My knees fall open as Kit crawls between them, kissing my body on the way down.
“You’re asking to be tortured, Serena,” he says darkly.
“Sounds fun.”
“It won’t be fun when you’re begging me for my dick.” Kit drops his head between my thighs and licks me with the flat of his tongue. I buck, gasping as my fingers tangle into his hair.
My instinct is to push him away. I’ve never done this before. Never had a guy eat me out like this.
I know, I know. I was in a relationship for ten years—but my ex used to say the taste of me made him feel sick. I believed him, internalized his words, and thought I tasted disgusting.
But Kit lets out a low groan, kissing my clit before dragging his tongue through my folds. “So fucking good,” he groans as excitement sparks deep in the pit of my stomach.
“Really?” I ask in a small voice.
Instead of answering, Kit flicks his eyes up to mine and hooks his hands under my ass. He lifts me up, spreading my legs for easier access. Then, his tongue moves over my entrance, circling around it as I gasp and writhe in his hands. When Kit drives his tongue inside me with a satisfied groan, my breath leaves my body in a low whoosh.
My legs tremble as embarrassment tries to rear up inside me, but Kit moans again, fucking me with his tongue and tasting me so, so deep. Closing my eyes, I listen to the sounds he’s making. I twist my hands into the bedsheets and feel how his fingers sink into my thighs. How he grips me close and spreads me wide, lapping up my juices like a starved man. His hips rock, and I believe the authenticity of his moans. He’s enjoying this.
He’s enjoying this. Holy shit.
I come apart in his hands. Gasping, I pant his name, and he drives his tongue deeper as his thumb circles my clit. In and out of me, letting my honey coat his tongue, his lips, his chin. I know it’s messy, and a part of me likes it.
Scratch that—all of me likes it. From my head to my toes and down to the core of my being. Every single cell in my body vibrates with happy satisfaction as my orgasm washes over me in wave after wave of pleasure. Kit eats me out, devouring me as he laps up every drop of my wetness.
When it’s over, Kit’s box
er briefs are tented with his erection. I reach for it, whimpering, but Kit pushes my hand away. He clicks his tongue, shaking his head.
“But—”
“You still think torture is fun?” Kit grins, running his fingers over my wet slit as I buck at the touch, everything too sensitive. There’s a growing ache between my legs, and the sight of his bulge only makes it worse. I feel empty. Hungry. Like his cock inside me is the only thing that’ll make me feel whole.
“Could be worse,” I lie, flushed. My body is splayed out in front of him, and Kit sweeps his eyes over me. I don’t feel embarrassed anymore. No part of me wants to hide from him.
When Kit stares at me like that, his eyes dark, a soft smile on his lips, I feel so warm and sated, I can hardly explain it. I want to give him everything. But he just leans over and kisses me hard, letting me taste my orgasm on his lips. Then he pulls away, smacking the side of my ass with the flat of his palm.
“Breakfast time,” he says, climbing off the bed as I whimper in protest. Giving me a dark grin, Kit arches an eyebrow, challenging me.
I groan, finding my bottoms and pulling them up, throwing him a dark glance. “You’ll crack. I know you will. You’ll fuck me before this weekend is over.”
“We’ll see.” He smirks.
Kit and I head over to the Black Estate where Willow, Sacha, Jackson, Nadia, Finn, and Esme are already gathered. When the two of us walk in, a smile flits across Esme’s face. She’s happy her brother’s here. My heart squeezes.
The past few months must have been painful for her, too, having to choose between her brother and the man she loves. Do I really want to bring that on myself? Maybe Kit is right, and it’s better to talk to Robbie before things go any further.
I accept a glass of water from Willow and tuck my feet underneath me on the long sofa. There’s a large projector screen set up, with half a dozen bowls of popcorn being passed around. Kit sits next to me, letting the side of his body press into mine.
Don't Need You: A Brother's Best Friend Romance (We Shouldn't Book 3) Page 13