Nadia looks at us, tilting her head slightly, but says nothing. Jackson’s eyes flash.
They know something’s going on between us. Are we really that transparent?
I glance at Kit.
Do I care if they can tell? I kind of like the idea of being Kit’s girl. Of him being my man. Being able to lean my head on his shoulder and have his arm around me. He glances at me, and I know he’s thinking the same, but we resist. We just sit next to each other and share a bowl of popcorn.
The movie starts—Lord of the Rings—and I let out a happy sigh. Surrounded by new friends and potentially a new partner, I feel like my life is starting for the first time.
I just hope Robbie understands, and I hope the rest of my family are willing to accept a future for me that might not fit their preconceived ideas. In a few weeks, I’ll be going home for Christmas, and I know I’ll have to come clean about my plans to stay in Woodvale.
But for right now, I have three days of bliss—or torture, depending on how you look at it—and I intend to enjoy them.
21
Kit
Saying goodbye to Serena is harder than I expected it to be. Maybe it’s the looming conversation with her brother weighing on me, but I find myself squeezing every last minute I can out of our last morning together.
“Go,” she says softly, kissing the tip of my nose. “I’ll see you in four days.”
“Maybe I should take the job at the skydiving center again,” I say, only partially joking. “Then I could be here all the time.”
“You should. But Robbie would miss you.” She grins. “Wouldn’t be fair to him.”
“He’d live.”
She smiles, touching her forehead to mine. I let out a breath and give her one final kiss before heading out the door and into my car. The drive to Seattle is long. A cold, drizzly rain makes the asphalt slick, and my mind keeps drifting to what I’m leaving behind in Woodvale.
For the first time, I truly understand Finn’s position. I understand being hit in the gut with emotions you don’t expect. I understand being stuck between loyalty to a friend, and the burning need to be with the woman you…ah, hell. I’ll just say it. The woman you love.
As I drive toward Seattle—toward Robbie, and the hard conversation I know we’ll have—I forgive Finn. It happens like a light switch being flicked in my brain. One moment, I’m clinging onto the last remnant of my bitterness and the next, it’s gone.
Forgiveness feels good. I stretch my neck from side to side, rolling my shoulders and loosening my back muscles. My fingers flex and unflex over the steering wheel, and I let out a long sigh. Tightness in my chest eases, letting me take a full breath for the first time in months.
A soft smile tugs at my lips, and I know I have Serena to thank for this. If she hadn’t come into my life, I would’ve clung onto my anger for a long time. Maybe forever. I would have used it as a guiding light, tainting my relationship with Finn and Esme for the foreseeable future. I would have isolated myself and let our friendship deteriorate.
Now, though?
The truth is visible. The bounty of forgiveness and love is available to me. My friendship with Finn and my relationship with Esme can be mended. Truly.
“Thank you,” I whisper in the silence of my car, knowing it’s Serena’s presence who pushed me here.
But when I see Robbie in the staff lounge at the airport, my stomach clenches again. I square my shoulders, prepared to have a tough conversation with him. He has his back to me, sitting in a comfy leather chair in the back corner. His hat is hanging off the handle of his roller suitcase, his hand gripping the edge of the seat. As I get closer, I see him holding a phone to his ear.
“…She’ll be back for Christmas, Mother.” He sighs. “I know we should have told you, but it came up quickly. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.” I come into view, arching an eyebrow. He lets out another sigh. “I have to go. I’ll see you in a few weeks. Bye.”
I flop down into the seat across from him.
“My family,” he explains. “Not happy about Serena leaving.”
“She’s an adult. She can leave if she wants to.”
“You don’t understand. My family”—he shakes his head—“they’re overbearing at the best of times.”
“They don’t want Serena living in Woodvale?”
“If my mother could keep her locked up in her childhood bedroom and only let her out to marry that prick, Angelo, she’d do it.” Robbie’s face is dark, his words bitter. “She means well, but it’s not exactly healthy.” His phone rings again, his mother’s name flashing on the screen, and he clicks the side button on his phone to ignore the call.
Not a great time to tell him I’d love to date his sister, then. My carefully crafted speech flies out of my head, and I sit there, bouncing my knee up and down.
Robbie jerks his head at me. “How is Serena anyway? I haven’t heard from her in a couple of days.”
“Good,” I answer, trying to sound casual. “She’s settling in really well. I think my friends like her more than me.”
Robbie chuckles, the lines in his face softening. “She has that effect on people.”
“Yeah,” I answer, a flush rising up my neck.
This is my chance. This is when I man up, look him in the eye, and tell him I have feelings for her. This is my chance, and the longer I wait, the harder it’ll get.
“Robbie,” I start, clearing my throat. “I, uh…” My voice trails off, and I lift my eyes to meet his.
My friend frowns, tilting his head. “Yeah? Is everything okay?” His phone buzzes again, and once more, he ignores the call.
“You need to get that?”
He shakes his head. “Just my mother wanting to chew my ear off. What’s going on? Is Serena okay?”
“Fine. Everything’s fine.” I gulp, cursing how nervous I am. I grip my knee to stop it from bouncing, leaning forward as I suck in a deep breath. “Serena and I…we like each other. A lot.”
Robbie frowns, more confused than anything.
He says nothing, so I continue. “I didn’t want to go behind your back, because I know how that feels. So I’m asking you man to man if you have an issue with me dating your sister.” The words tumble out of me in one breath, and it takes all my effort to hold my friend’s gaze.
He stares at me for a long moment, inhaling deeply. Clearing his throat, he shifts in his seat. His arms rest lightly on the chair, his eyes trained on me.
I say nothing. What else is there to say?
“I wasn’t expecting that,” Robbie says, almost to himself. “But I guess I’m not surprised.”
I frown, tilting my head.
Robbie chuckles. “I saw the way you two were looking at each other.” For the third time, Robbie’s phone starts ringing. He sighs, turns it off with a huff, and slips it into his pocket. Then, he waves a hand. “You don’t need my permission, Kit. She’s a grown woman.”
“I didn’t want to go behind your back.”
“I appreciate it,” he says. “So you two…are an item?”
I inhale, shrugging. “Yeah, I think so. I told her I needed to talk to you and make sure we were cool. I didn’t want to take things too far with her while you were in the dark.”
Robbie stares at me for a long moment and finally nods. “I respect that. I’m not going to lie, the thought of you and my sister is a bit weird, but I don’t have any ownership over her. You’re a good guy. Angelo was my friend when we were kids, and he never bothered to say anything to me when they started sneaking around. Look how that turned out.” He lets out a bitter huff, shaking his head.
I gulp past a lump in my throat, letting out a heavy sigh. For the first time since I walked into the staff lounge, I let a smile tug at my lips.
That wasn’t as bad as I expected. Robbie just wants the best for Serena, and I’m glad he thinks I can be that for her.
My friend checks his watch, then nods. “Time to go.” He extends a hand toward me to shake, but when I slip my palm against his, R
obbie’s face grows serious. He grips my hand harder than I expect, his eyes turning dark. “If you hurt my sister, I’ll kill you.”
I let out a huff of air, nodding. “I know. I’d do the same.”
“Good. Let’s go to work.” Without another word about his sister, his overbearing family, or threat of my unfortunate demise if I hurt his sister, we gather our things and head to the plane. Before we get there, I wave him ahead and slip into the restroom. Pulling out my phone, I dial Serena’s number.
It rings once, then goes to voicemail. I frown when a message comes through—one of those stock messages you can choose when you reject a call.
Serena: Can’t talk now.
I chew the inside of my cheek, disappointed I won’t get to hear her voice until I’m on the other side of the country. My heart clenches, and I know I won’t last long at this job if she’s living in Woodvale. I’ll be back at the skydiving business as soon as the weather clears up and Finn starts taking more bookings. Things will work out. We could be happy.
I type out a message for Serena.
Kit: Talked to Robbie. It went well. Miss you already.
Staring at the screen for a few seconds, my heart sinks when she doesn’t read or reply to the message. Resigned, I slip my phone into my pocket and head for the plane. I check my phone a dozen times between then and the time I have to turn it off, but there’s still no word from Serena.
I think about the incessant phone calls from Robbie’s mother, and worry worms through my stomach. What if something happened? Glancing at Robbie, I see only the placid, professional face of my copilot. He gives me a nod, and we get ready to fly the plane across the country together.
22
Serena
My hands shake as I throw clothes into a suitcase. I know Kit sent me a message, but I haven’t even been able to read it. The only thing I can think about are my mother’s words, ringing in my ears like a church bell.
Nonna had a stroke.
Over, and over, and over again. The words just play on repeat as my whole body trembles. I toss whatever clothes I can find into my bag, zipping it up as fast as I can. I know I’m leaving things behind in Kit’s room and the laundry room and probably the bathroom, too, but my vision is hazy and I can’t think straight. One of my shirts gets caught in the zipper and I let out a string of swear words under my breath, trying to open the zipper and shredding my top in the process.
Tears cling to my eyelashes and I blink them down my cheeks, my heart beating erratically as I try to gather my belongings.
All I know is I need to get back to New Haven. I need to be beside my grandmother. I should have never left. What was I thinking, moving across the country? Did I really think I could leave my family behind?
Tears flow freely from my eyes until I brush them away, taking a trembling breath as I finally manage to look at my phone. I read Kit’s message, and my heart breaks.
Of course the conversation with my brother went well. My brother is a reasonable, loving man. He just wants what’s best for me, and he probably already knew that Kit and I were into each other.
But the text doesn’t make me feel any better. It doesn’t make me feel hopeful about the future or happy that we might end up together. It just makes my mouth taste like ash and my heart splinter and crack, because I know happiness with Kit is slipping through my fingers.
How can I even pretend to want to stay here when my grandmother is in the hospital? How can I pretend that I’ll come back for a teaching position when my family is falling apart?
My ribs squeeze in until it’s hard to breathe. Everything is sore, from the tight skin around my eyes to the muscles cutting across my back. Most of all, though, my heart hurts. It aches with every thump, and I hate how far away I am.
I’m about to call a taxi when the doorbell rings. With my face still blotchy and red, I pull the door open to see Willow on the other side, a bright smile on her face. It fades in an instant when she sees me.
“What happened?”
“My grandmother had a stroke,” I say, my voice trembling on the last word. “I need to go home.”
“I’ll drive you to the airport,” Willow says. There’s no question in her voice, and I almost crumple to the floor right then and there. I don’t have the energy to protest, so I just accept her generosity and get my bag.
This is what I’m leaving behind—unconditional kindness and friendship. And Kit.
Will it be forever? Will I ever come back here?
The way I feel right now, the answer is no. I feel too far away from my family. Too far away from Nonna. Too far away from everyone who has been close to me my whole life. Willow doesn’t say much, but she helps me into the car and puts a comforting hand on my forearm.
She gives me a tight, sad smile and nods. “Kit will understand,” she says, and it sets off more tears flowing down my face.
All I can do is nod, even though my heart is breaking.
Will he understand if I don’t come back, though?
Leaning my head on the window, I watch the world go by as Willow drives me to the airport. I don’t even have a flight, but I’ll try to get on the standby list for the next available seat. I don’t have the energy to think about logistics. All I know is I need to get home.
When we get to the airport after a long, silent drive, Willow helps me take my bag out and wraps her thin, strong arms around me. Her long, blond hair smells like strawberries, and the thought of saying goodbye to her makes me want to cry all over again.
She pulls away, squeezing my shoulders. “Be strong.”
She doesn’t say, it’ll be okay, or it’ll work out. She doesn’t tell me my grandmother will recover. Willow knows the truth. Nonna might die, or at the very best, her quality of life will be severely worsened. There’s no recovering from a stroke when you’re in your eighties.
When Willow wipes a tear from her eye, a smudge of mascara swipes across her face. I’m sure I look even worse.
I’ve only known her a couple of weeks, but saying goodbye is harder than I could have imagined. It feels like I’m saying goodbye to Woodvale. Saying goodbye to a potential future. To everything I thought was opening up to me.
I don’t know if it’s goodbye forever, but I don’t see how I can leave my family behind when something like this happens. Willow gives me one last sad smile, then turns around and gets back in her car.
I walk through the sliding glass doors and into the airport, heading for the first available desk to book my flight. The airline staff member is kind, and she manages to bump me up to the top of the standby list, booking me on two connecting flights that will have me landing just before seven o’clock in the evening. I’m in such a daze, I don’t even know if I thank her. I just check my bag, sling my carry-on over my shoulder, and head for security.
The thing about airports is that there’s a lot of empty time. Waiting in line at security. Waiting at the gate. Waiting to board the plane. Being on the plane itself. It gives me time to dissect the past few weeks of my life, and even back to the months that led up to where I am now.
I think about Kit. Angelo. Robbie. About my mother and grandmother, and everything I left behind in New Haven. My heart stings and I’m not sure why.
Maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Don’t they say everything happens for a reason? Whoever they are? Maybe things with Kit and me were going too fast. They were too intense. He said himself he wanted to slow things down—maybe he could feel something was going to happen.
I need to heal. I need time to myself, without an attractive, strong, sexy man clouding my thoughts with lust. Whenever he’s near, I can almost feel my uterus crying out for a child with him. That, in itself, terrifies me.
I’ve known the man less than a month, and he makes me want to bear his children—even when my miscarriage is the most painful memory I have. I’ve felt like my body has malfunctioned in the most basic way, and I don’t know if it’ll ever happen for me again. I’ve shut that door i
n my mind for years, knowing that opening it up again would be far too painful.
But with Kit, I crave it. It’s a deep, constant yearning that tugs at my heart and soul and womb. But my mind screams at me, reminding me of the awful, black grief that tore me apart.
I need to get out of here. My family needs me.
My thoughts are a jumbled mess, but the only thing I know for sure is that I need to go home. At some point, maybe on my first layover—or is it the second?—I manage to type out a text for Kit. I just tell him about the stroke, and that I’m going home. I’m sure Robbie will have heard, too, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise.
Then, I reenter my daze and let the plane carry me back across the country, to the place I was trying so hard to escape.
When I land in Connecticut, it’s snowing. If it sticks, we’ll have a white Christmas in two weeks’ time. Usually, that would fill me with joy. Right now, though, nothing can shake the dread and heartbreak that clings to my every pore. I let a taxi take me back to my mother’s place.
My mother opens the door when I ring the doorbell, wrapping her arms around me as tears stream down her face. She pulls me into her embrace, welcoming me back into the warmth and comfort of the life I’ve always known.
Maybe I’m weak, but I feel almost relieved. I lock my time in Woodvale in a box inside my heart, and I let my mother carry a part of my grief and sadness. I enter her house and bring my bag up to my childhood bedroom, staring at the four walls around me, knowing that if I stay, I’m giving up a lot more than a temporary teaching position.
But if I go, I’m turning my back on my family.
Right now, when my grandmother is in the hospital and my family feels like it’s been ripped apart, this is exactly where I need to be. It’s more important than teaching, more important than my new friends, and as much as I hate to admit it, it’s more important than Kit.
I don’t know if he’ll understand. I don’t know if he’ll wait for me. I don’t even know if he should.
Don't Need You: A Brother's Best Friend Romance (We Shouldn't Book 3) Page 14