The garden of dead thoughts

by Natasha A. Salnikova

  “Work mostly. I think I’ll be late again today. You’ll be in bed by that time.”

  “Are you cheating on me?” Margo suddenly asked.

  Frank woke up instantly. What kind of a question was that? How did she come up with it? Where did she get it from? Did she suspect him?

  “No! Of course not!” he exclaimed. “What kind of question is that? I’ve married one of the most intelligent and beautiful women in the world. I’m not crazy to cheat on her.”

  He felt cold in his stomach, goose bumps ran down his back, but he quickly managed to pull himself together.

  “I hope. It’s just all these late nights at work, and business trips,” Margo said, looking into her cup. It seemed that she wasn’t really interested. Could she just be testing him? Why? Or did she guess?

  “No, I’m just working.” Frank took a sip of coffee. “I want to provide you with the life you deserve.”

  “I know you’re trying.”

  “I am. What’s up with your work?”

  Margo looked down.

  “I don’t want to talk about it, until I know all the details,” she answered.

  “Oh. I hope everything will be fine.”

  “Trust me, so do I.”

  “Everything will be okay.” Frank squeezed out a smile and even patted his wife’s arm. After that he went to the sink to put an empty cup there. He was about to go to the shower when Margo began a strange conversation.

  “I hope I will never be alone again,” she said quietly.

  “What are you talking about?” He stopped before leaving the kitchen.

  “Charlie left me so quickly. Sorry, it just came to my mind.”

  Frank suspected where she intended to go, but hoped that he was wrong.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” he said.

  “I hope not!” Margo said and laughed. She had a beautiful laugh, not like Tiffany. Tiffany hiccupped rather than laughed. “I hope to live with you for as long as it’s meant to be.”

  Frank instantly stopped thinking about her laughter.

  “Poor Charlie,” Margo continued. “We didn’t have a relationship as close as you and I have, but he was a good person. He passed away and I thought I was alone in the world.”

  “He didn’t leave you anything?” Frank asked. He approached Margo, and put his hands on her shoulders, but quickly took them away, worrying that he would move his hands to her neck. It was too damn tempting.

  “He had children from his first marriage. It doesn’t matter. I worked, everything seemed stable and now I have this problem and I’m nervous, you know.”

  “Yes, I understand,” Frank said. He really understood.

  “Your house burned down. Did you think that could happen?”

  “How is it possible to foresee something like that? I’m not a psychic.”

  “See.” Margo finished her coffee and gave the mug to Frank so he could carry it to the sink. Who did she think he was? Her slave?

  “Life is so unpredictable. We are not immune from tragedies and black stripes,” Margo added.

  “Life is unpredictable,” Frank agreed, hoping that she wouldn’t go where he supposed she was going to go.

  “We have to be ready for stuff like this, only I don’t know how.” Margo said again. She wasn’t going to give up her goal and pick up her words carefully. “How to insure yourself against these surprises? I couldn’t sleep last night, thinking about it.”

  “Don’t worry, dear,” Frank said. “I won’t leave you. I always will be there for you.”

  His heart was pounding so hard, he was afraid that Margo would see it under his robe.

  “Charles promised the same thing, but didn’t keep his promise. As I said, we are not insured for surprises.”

  Frank adjusted the belt on his robe, shuffled his slippers.

  “You never know what can happen,” he said.

  “Exactly,” she agreed quietly. “You never know and you never will. When my friend said that her husband bought an expensive life insurance policy, I laughed at her. I mean, spending that kind of money, basically throwing it out when in all probability, nothing will happen anyway. Now I understand her.”

  “You do?” Frank fixed the belt on his robe again and returned to the coffee machine.

  “Of course. Her husband is older than her and she doesn’t work. If he goes, she will have no future.”

  Frank put the cup in the coffee machine. He turned into a robot with a working heart. His heart was beating, but there were only formulas in his head.

  “I understand,” he said at last. You’re right. I’ll talk with my agent today and find out what options are available.”

  He turned to Margo with the full cup of coffee.

  “Options of what?”

  Now she pretended she didn’t understand when she was cheering in her brain. She thought she’d fooled him, didn’t she? It was difficult for him to speak in an indifferent tone, but years of practice in lies didn’t pass in vain.

  “You’re right. How do I know, maybe I’ll kick the bucket tomorrow. I hope not. Maybe I should start exercising.” He took a sip of coffee, thinking that this drink wouldn’t extend his life and maybe he should think about exercising. “We need stability and confidence in the future,” Frank continued. “We have to buy life insurance, as your girlfriend’s husband did.”

  “Are you sure?” she asked. She was a smart woman, she was. Too bad she ran into him.

  “It’s insurance. It is what it is,” he said. “It’s not like I’m going to die tomorrow.”

  He wasn’t going to. That was a fact.

  An hour later, he told Margo that he was going to a meeting, but he only drove a few steps away from the house and parked in the shade of some trees at the house of one of his neighbors who wasn’t home much. He sat there, looking through his phone, and patiently waiting. It paid off. Sometime later, he saw a motorcycle approaching his house. The rider jumped off of it and pushed the motorcycle to the gate leading to the terrace.

  CHAPTER 14

  Frank had no trouble finding Daisy’s phone number. She was surprised when he called, but agreed to meet him and keep quiet about their meeting.

  He invited her to a coffee place in Plantation. Daisy lived nearby and Margo never traveled west on the road ninety-five, so they couldn’t cross.

  He asked what she would like to order and when she arrived, there were already two paper cups with latte on the table.

  “Thank you very much,” Daisy said, sitting down and straightening her silk skirt.

  She was a sweet and pretty girl. She had long, wavy hair, though thin, that framed her face, light blue eyes, a small nose covered with light freckles. When she smiled, dimples appeared on her cheeks. She smelled of some sort of floral, almost childlike perfume. She put her bag on her lap and immediately started sipping her coffee without looking at Frank.

  He wasn’t going to beat around the bush or try to stretch away the conversation. It wasn’t the right time for that and he wasn’t in that mood.

  “Of course, you don’t understand why I invited you,” he said.

  Daisy smiled and shook her head. By the way her cheeks flushed, he thought she’d decided he would offer her something intimate. He could and maybe he would make such an offer, but right now he was going to shock her, bring her to tears, make her miserable and disappointed in humanity. Or something like that.

  “I have bad news.” Frank stopped smiling.

  “Has something happened to Margo?” the girl asked.

  “Would you like that?”

  “Only if it’s something good. I don’t wish bad things to happen to anyone.”

  “That’s because you’re a kind girl and you care about everyone.”

  Daisy sipped her coffee again and burned her mouth. She blushed even more.

  “I’m not enjoying telling you this, but I believe you deserve to know.” Frank placed his hand on Daisy’s arm. She looked uncomfortable, put her hair behind her ear.r />
  “Besides, we both suffered in this situation.”

  Daisy put down the cup and licked her lips. Frank squeezed her hand before dropping the bomb.

  “Your boyfriend is sleeping with my wife.”

  The corner of Daisy’s lip twitched, she closed and opened her eyes, then yanked her hand out of Frank’s grasp and shook her head.

  “Unfortunately ... or fortunately, I caught them. In our bedroom.”

  Daisy covered her eyes with her hand and when she looked at Frank again, he didn’t see tears as he had expected. That was a pity.

  “I knew that,” she said. “I didn’t know it was Margo, but he acted differently, these constant texts, irritation if I even touched him.”

  “I don’t know how long this has been going on,” Frank said.

  “I’m so sorry,” the good girl Daisy said, taking Frank’s hand. “You just got married.”

  Frank chuckled.

  “I thought she loved me. I gave her everything.”

  Daisy exhaled heavily and then stood up.

  “Where are you going?” Frank asked, surprised. He counted on a longer conversation.

  “I have to go. Thank you for the coffee ... and the information.”

  “You’re not going to tell her, are you?”

  “I’m not going to say anything about you.”

  With those words, she left. He saw her long legs through her skirt as she walked along the sunny side of the café.

  “Everything is going to be the way I want,” Frank said with confidence, picking up Daisy’s cup. He had already finished his coffee.

  About two hours later, when Frank was already on the boat drinking beer, Daisy called him and said she talked to Margo. She had tears in her voice. Later that day they went to a shop and bought a red wig, then stopped at Frank’s so-called friend’s to make a new driver’s license, and after that they entered an insurance agent’s office where Daisy introduced herself as Margaret Tracy Douglas. Frank had never dealt with formalizing a life insurance policy and didn’t know that he had to do blood tests and stuff before actually getting the insurance. That didn’t stop him. He filled out the form and was determined to complete what he had begun. He didn’t know how, but he was sure he would think of something. On the way to the agent’s office, he forced Daisy to practice forging Margo’s signature, but she couldn’t do it right the first few times.

  They left the agent’s office and stopped under the scorching Florida sun in a different state of mind. Frank smiled inwardly, happy about the next turn of the matter and anticipating what was to come. Daisy was serious and Frank doubted she was smiling inside. When they got into Frank’s car, she turned to him and he noticed tears in her eyes.

  “What’s the matter?” he asked, taking his hand away from the gearshift. There were two more cars in the parking lot, besides his Mercedes. The street ahead was empty.

  “Michael, what are we doing?” the girl whispered. “Why?”

  “What do you mean, why?” Frank’s mood changed instantly.

  “What if someone finds out? What will happen then?”

  Frank sighed and left the parking lot. Daisy was shocked at first, but the initial anger that shifted the continents passed and it was time for a period of remorse. She was a genuinely good girl, not like his wife, and good girls didn’t sign fake life insurance policies. Of course someone could find out. Everything could be brought to the surface, but that wasn’t the point. Only those who risked could win.

  She turned to the window and Frank heard muffled sobs. The poor girl started to suffer from guilt and this was only the beginning.

  “It’s going to be fine.” Frank patted her leg. He touched the silky coolness of her skirt.

  “I never thought I’d do something like this in my life.” Daisy sobbed. “It’s not right. It’s wrong to respond to evil with greater evil. I don’t want to continue this.”

  Frank didn’t remove his hand from her leg, he gently caressed it instead. The girl didn’t say anything and didn’t move. It was fine. He didn’t think this at first, but sex as a bonus wouldn’t spoil his mood.

  “Did they think about our feelings when they tore off each other’s clothes and fucked?” Frank repeated what he had said before when he urged Daisy to go to the agent. “If you could hear what he said to her. ‘My love. I love you so much. Daisy is a little fool, she’s nothing compared to you’.”

  Little fool Daisy sobbed even harder and Frank began lifting her skirt gently, not worrying about the fact that his other hand was on the wheel and they were on the road. His mind was sharp like a knife at those moments, when he was performing his next trick. Everything seemed brighter, louder, everything was under control. The little fool kept weeping. Perhaps she felt his hand, but she wouldn’t reject him for anything. She would sleep with him just out of revenge, not even from friendliness. He didn’t mind. He didn’t belong to a class of romantics that was for sure.

  “You’re not fat like Michael,” he continued, lifting her skirt higher and touching her warm skin. Daisy’s sobbing ceased as she mentally traced the movement of his hand, but she didn’t do anything to stop it.

  “What they did to us deserves punishment,” Frank continued. He talked slowly, convincingly. Everything around him was bright like an amplified contrast in photos. “We are not doing anything wrong, we’re just restoring the balance. You’re so beautiful, Daisy. He turned to her for a brief moment although she was still looking out of the window. His hand reached her underwear and slid inside.

  Daisy couldn’t stand the invasion any longer and covered his hand, stopping him. She turned her face to him, mascara was smeared all over it. Neither tears nor smeared makeup spoiled her beauty. Maybe the girl wasn’t as striking as Margo, but she was more charming.

  “I noticed you the first time I saw you,” Frank said, not taking his hand away. “Margo is beautiful, but there’s more to you than just beauty. You have magic, something real that Margo never had. I always wanted to hug you when she was screaming at you, but that would have been wrong.”

  Daisy sobbed, wiped her face with one hand, still holding Frank back with the other, but not as strong as a second ago.

  “You need to calm down,” Frank said. “You need to recuperate. I know a lot has happened in one day, but I assure you, tomorrow ... even today it’s going to be better. I’ll help you. You’ll feel much better.”

  “Where are we going?” Daisy looked out the window.

  “To my boat. Let’s go out onto the ocean. Fresh air, serenity, silence. You will feel better.”

  “Do you have a boat?” Another sob, this time weaker. He heard genuine interest.

  “You didn’t know?” Frank sounded surprised.

  “No.”

  “We’ve never talked about it, right? I’m a wealthy man and that was probably why she married me.” Frank said the last words with anger. Girls like Daisy and Tiffany were hypersensitive to other people’s feelings. They didn’t want anyone to feel bad.

  Daisy’s hand weakened, but Frank stopped his exploring, leaving everything for later. They were almost there and he intended to get it in full.

  Daisy straightened her skirt and took Frank’s hand.

  They drove past the burned house. It was only a clean and empty platform now without any traces of tragedy. Frank parked near his boat and checked the empty street before leaving the car.

  As soon as they went downstairs and Daisy squeezed a couple of shy compliments about how beautiful everything was, Frank started to kiss her and they ended up naked on the couch in his cabin a few minutes later. Daisy acted like a log, she probably didn’t want sex and thought about her cheating macho man, but Frank didn’t care.

  Twenty minutes later he left her to clean herself and heard sobbing behind the closed door, but that didn’t interest him either. He climbed to the deck, gave a salute to the new owner of the neighboring yacht, whom he hadn’t seen before, and began to take the boat out to sea. If the neighbor even
saw Daisy wearing the red wig, it didn’t matter. Poor foolish Daisy. She said she didn’t want to continue, she wanted to forget about everything they did like a terrible dream.

  Two hours later he came back.

  Daisy wasn’t onboard his boat.

  CHAPTER 15

  Margo should be happy and not whine because she didn’t have to go through what he had gone through. That was what Frank was thinking while he wept in the living room of his last, sixty-year-old love interest, telling her that his house had burned down. He even wanted to take her there and show it to her. He lost everything, even his cat Phoebe. He had nowhere to go, nowhere to stay. Fortunately, the old woman did exactly what he expected her to do and didn’t invite him to live with her. She asked him to take her to the bank. He did just that and when he left the building, he had an impressive envelope of brand new bills in his hand. Most of them would go to Margo, but that didn’t upset him much because he intended to get a lot more.

  He returned home, but his faithful wife wasn’t there yet. He put a pack of beer in the refrigerator and sat on the couch with a bottle. When Margo entered the living room, he pretended not to notice her, although he heard her every step, sensed the smell of her perfume, he even thought he could register the sound of her heartbeat.

  “You are pretty early?” Margo said with surprise. She threw her bag on the couch and sat down beside it.

  Frank didn’t answer. He drank beer, looking at the TV screen.

  “Michael?”

  He shuddered and even spilled beer all over the floor thinking it was more fun. Then he played with her a little longer and told her the deal was off and he didn’t make any money. After he was satisfied with her disappointment, he handed her the envelope.

  “You are awesome.” Margo said.

  “I’m doing my best. Besides, I talked to the insurance agent and he will help us choose the best plan.”

  “Are you sure about that?”

  “Of course, dear,” he said. “I want you to live as you used to live and have a peaceful mind.”

  “I love you so much.”