A Very Merry Foxemas: A Skyler Foxe & Friends Holiday Novella (The Skyler Foxe Mysteries)

by Haley Walsh

  Fairy tales, he chuckled, and let Papa Bear take him up the flagstone path to the front door, where he pushed it open. The interior was lit by a fire in the stone fireplace. The furniture seemed right out of a Disney cartoon, complete with little faces carved out of the backs of the wooden chairs.

  “This is adorable!” Jamie declared. “But uh…where are we anyway?”

  “Just over the river…and through the woods.”

  “To Grandmother’s house? Grandma, what big biceps you have.”

  Papa Bear chuckled. “That ain’t all that’s big.”

  “Do tell!”

  He led Jamie to one of the biggest beds he’d ever seen, wide and tall. It towered over the corner of the room and even had steps to climb to get to it. Jamie threw off his shirt and scampered up the steps, bouncing on the soft bed. “Grandma, what a big bed you have.”

  “The better to fuck you with, my dear.” Papa Bear unbuttoned his shirt and opened it, revealing a mass of curly ginger hair all over his barrel-shaped torso.

  Jamie kicked off his trousers and sat up on his haunches wearing only his underwear. “Well come on then. I take it you’re topping?”

  “You’d be right about that, sweet thing.” Papa Bear lost his shirt and then began working on his trousers. But as he slid those down Jamie’s jaw dropped.

  That couldn’t be. What pushed against the man’s underwear couldn’t be real. That was porn star proportions. And then some.

  But when he pushed down his underpants, Jamie gasped. “Holy mothering shit.” Thick, long, it was almost the size of the man’s arm. “Honey, there is no possible way…”

  “Smaller guys than you have said so, and then we did.”

  “And they’re wearing their guts around their neck now, right?” Jamie couldn’t stop looking. Papa Bear swaggered toward the bed and his cock! It was hard, all right, standing forward like a ship’s bowsprit but was pulled downward under its own weight.

  Backing up, Jamie blinked at the Zeppelin. “I never thought I’d say this, but Papa Bear… that is just too big.”

  “Say it ain’t so, Goldilocks. I can make it work. We just need some time and a whole lot of lube.”

  Jamie’s mind went there. “Uh uh,” he said shaking his head and backing up. “Nope. As much as I’d like to, I don’t fancy the idea of ending up in the hospital with a split personality. I’m gonna have to give you a big ‘sorry’ about this. Maybe we can do something else.”

  But Papa Bear was frowning. “You’re just like all the rest. You know how hard it is to get laid when you have a dick like this?”

  “I can imagine,” he said distractedly, gathering his clothes in his arms. “I’m really sorry. Ordinarily I’d give it the old college try, but…”

  “Yeah, okay.” Papa Bear climbed the steps and sat on the bed beside him. Though dejected his enormous dick never softened.

  Jamie set his clothes down. “Doesn’t mean we can’t do other things.” He scooted closer, reached over, and closed his hand around that shaft. His long fingers barely encircled the whole thing. The flesh was hot and pulsing in his hand. “Oh my! I mean, really. Just wow.”

  “Yeah, it looks all impressive but I haven’t found a bottom yet who could take it.”

  “If this one friend of mine didn’t already have a boyfriend, I bet he’d give it a whirl.”

  Papa Bear’s brows rose in hope.

  “Skyler’s pretty firmly homogamous these days. But let’s not think about him. Let’s get you taken care of.”

  Biting his lip, Jamie slid his hand up and down that incredible meat. Papa Bear seemed to like his ministrations because he leaned back on his hands and threw his head back. Jamie tore his eyes away from that glistening head sliding through his fingers long enough to watch that heaving chest and those protruding nipples. He leaned over and flicked the closest one with his tongue. Papa Bear moaned. Jamie did it again before closing his lips on it. Everything about this man was big, even his man nips, and with a handful and a mouthful, Jamie was getting pretty hard himself.

  But one hand was definitely not enough when it came to the Texas-sized man, and Jamie soon reached over with both hands. “Too awkward,” he murmured and slid off the bed. He forgot it was a long way down. He scrambled for a handhold to stop his fall and the next thing he knew…

  “Yow! What the hell are you doing!”

  Dangling by your dangle, he thought but didn’t say it aloud. “I’m so sorry! I was just trying to get into a better position.”

  “Look.” Papa Bear grabbed his shirt and pressed it to his lap. By the wince on his face Jamie knew that cock must be smarting. “I appreciate that you’re trying, but maybe we should call it a night, huh?”

  Jamie sighed. He dragged his clothes from the bed and bunched them up again. “I guess I should. I’m really sorry.”

  He waved half-heartedly but the man’s face was turned away.

  Jamie pressed his waded clothes to his chest and crept through the little cottage to the door. Without even dressing he pushed through it and hit the flagstone path with bare feet. Looking around he saw other little cottages down the road. One was made of gingerbread but he didn’t like the look of the old lady sitting in the window and glaring at him.

  There was another made of straw. “That doesn’t seem practical,” he muttered as he passed it. Then there was another made of sticks. He shook his head at it. “That just screams ‘Come inside, spiders!’” Finally he passed a small solid house made of bricks. He sniffed the air. “Suddenly I’m hungry for bacon.”

  Nearly naked he continued wandering down the unfamiliar dirt road. He kept expecting that any minute it would feel weird but so far it hadn’t. He wasn’t cold either as he expected he might be, being out in the middle of the night with nothing on but his Tommy Hilfigers. He glanced up at the stars filling the sky and smiled. It was a beautiful balmy night and even though he hadn’t scored he felt good about the evening so far.

  And then he spotted the man on the bench.

  He was short and stocky and just as hairy as Papa Bear. Baby Bear! Jamie trotted toward him and noticed he was in his underwear, too. “Seems like the night for it,” he said.

  The man turned and looked him up and down. “Trick didn’t go well?”

  “Uh huh. Mind if I sit down? I think I have a thorn in my paw. I mean my foot.”

  “Not at all. It’s a free country.”

  He sat. The bench was a bit cold but he relaxed against it and set his clothes down beside him. The bench was in front of a lake. Street lamps reflected off its rippling surface and there were a few ducks gliding noiselessly breaking up the reflections.

  Jamie raised his foot to his lap and tried to find the tiny annoyance that was imbedded in his foot. Suddenly there was a light shining on it, making it much easier to see. Jamie raised his head. Baby Bear was using his cell phone as a flashlight.

  “Thanks. That helps a lot.” He squeezed the skin and managed to pull out the small prickle with his fingernails. “There! All better.” He put his foot down and curled his fingers around the edge of the bench. “You don’t mind if I call you Baby Bear, do you?”

  “As long as I can call you Goldilocks.”

  Jamie put his hand to his hair. “I keep forgetting about that.”

  Baby Bear looked him over with a grin. “You look lonely. Want to spend some time with me?”

  “Sure. My date for the evening didn’t quite work out.”

  “Too bad for him. Lucky for me.”

  He was a pretty short fellow but also very cute, to Jamie’s eyes. “You’re just a little adorable ball of fur, aren’t you?”

  “If you want to look at it that way.”

  “Well, what way should I look at it?”

  “How about this?” He tugged the front of his underwear down revealing his erection. A good sized uncut dick. Nothing that could hurt him like Papa Bear’s.

  “Oh my. Everyone is so friendly tonight.”

  “Why don’t y
ou sit down. Over here. On my dick.”

  “Well sure…I guess. Why not? Have you got any…”

  From somewhere, Baby Bear whipped out a tube of lube and a condom. He suited up and drenched his covered cock with lube. “Jump on, Goldilocks. Let me give you a ride.”

  Jamie moved to climb on top of his thighs, but at the very last moment stopped. He sat back down on the bench. “Hmmm. You know, it’s funny.” He looked around at the lake, the dense forest, the little cottages along the path. “I’ve lived in Redlands for years now and I don’t remember this place.”

  “It’s a gated community,” said Baby Bear.

  “Oh. That’s all right then.”

  Baby Bear slapped his thigh. “Come on, sweet thing. Take a ride.”

  “You know, ordinarily I would,” he said, turning away. He felt a little embarrassed turning him down. He didn’t know what had gotten into him. “But I’m just feeling a little odd about this.”

  “What’s the matter? Is it my size? I’m too short, aren’t I?”

  “No, not at—whoa!”

  When Jamie had turned back, Baby Bear had suddenly morphed into, well, a baby bear.

  “What?” said Baby Bear. “Is there something on my face?” He lifted a paw to wipe at it and stopped, looking at his long claws and paw pads. He rolled his eyes and sighed. “Shoot. I’m a bear again, aren’t I?”

  “Yeah. Kind of. It’s not that I don’t like bears, but I don’t do…you know. The bestiality thing.”

  Baby Bear flicked his paw. “Perfectly understandable. I mean I get it. If I get too rough I might tear through your skin. It’s happened before and it is not pretty.”

  Jamie cringed.

  “Purely by accident, of course.” The bear leaned back against the bench. “I really hate when this happens.”

  “I can imagine. Well.” Jamie rose, trying to be casual about it. “I guess I have to be going.”

  “Okay then. Take care. And if you run into any wolves, do not go home with them. It’s all a sham.”

  “Duly noted. Have a nice evening.” Jamie gave a little wave, and hurried along the path. Gated communities were not what they were cracked up to be.

  He fluffed his curly hair and tried to make sense of it all.

  He stopped on the dirt road and looked one way and then down the other. No one. And the night seemed to be getting darker. All of a sudden he didn’t feel comfortable in just his underwear. He put down his bundle and pulled out his shirt. Slipping it over his head he heard footsteps and turned.

  A tall blond man pretty fit and in his underwear too came striding forward.

  Jamie stuffed his head through the neck of his shirt and pulled his arms through the sleeves. His pants still lay on the ground. “I suppose you’re Mama Bear.”

  The man stopped to scrutinize Jamie. Muscled and fit, the man was handsome but definitely not hairy. Didn’t even sport so much as a mustache. “Wait, you’re not a bear.”

  “No,” said the nearly naked man. “I’m a prince.”

  Jamie giggled. “Well aren’t you charming!”

  “I don’t know about that,” he said in a self-effacing sort of manner. Jamie was charmed anyway. “Do you want to get out of here?”

  Jamie nodded. “I kind of do. I don’t think I belong in this neighborhood.”

  He offered Jamie his hand and Jamie took it. “I’m Dave. What’s your name?”

  “Jamie. Do I call you Prince Dave?”

  “I’d prefer you didn’t,” he said, a smile teasing at his lips.

  “Then just ‘Dave’ it is. Listen Dave, I’ve been having kind of a weird night. I was planning on hooking up but now I think that maybe I should just go home.”

  Dave looked sidelong at Jamie taking in his long naked legs and then his face. “Far be it for me to tell you what to do, but don’t you know your bedtime stories?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Tell me. Who did you first encounter?”

  “Well…a Papa Bear.”

  “Uh huh. Then who?”

  “A Baby Bear.” Jamie’s grin was growing.

  “And if the first guy was too big and the last guy was too small, then who am I?”

  “You’re just right!” He stopped, dragging on Dave’s hand. “Then maybe you should take me home.”

  “That’s what I said,” said Dave. “Are you even listening, Jamie?”

  ***

  Jamie jerked awake. He was sitting and probably snoring on Dave’s couch, of all things. He was also fully dressed. His boyfriend was looking at him oddly.

  “Were you asleep?”

  “Uh…maybe. Was I?”

  Dave’s concern turned to a wry expression. “So you heard nothing I said for the last half hour.”

  “Uh…”

  He leaned over and kissed Jamie’s mouth and shook his head before he sat back. “You sure know how to avoid a topic.”

  “No I don’t. I was just tired and I probably had too much to drink.”

  “I was talking about that trip we discussed. To Big Bear?”

  “Oh, the cabin.” He drooped. “Dave, I told you, I’m really not a cabin type. I like my amenities. I like my wifi and electricity and running water...”

  “And you haven’t listened to anything I said. I told you they have all those things. It’s not a cabin, it’s a condo. And there’s skiing.”

  “But I don’t ski either—”

  “And I further told you,” he interrupted, “that you didn’t have to. You could stay in the lodge with a beautiful view and all the wifi you could want. With hot toddies.”

  “I do like a good hot toddy.”

  “And they have that terrific restaurant, The Straw, Stick, and Brick. Best barbeque pork on the mountain.”

  “I am a little hungry for pork…for some reason.”

  “So what do you say?”

  He looked at the bright features of his boyfriend. He was such a fun man. He liked doing anything Jamie suggested, would try it even if he had doubts about it. And he always seemed cheerful. That rugged face and those strong arms. He saved people. Jamie’s very own fireman.

  Jamie couldn’t help but grin. Dave did all those things for him. It seemed the least he could do is give in for once and do something Dave really wanted to do. And at the end of the day, snuggling in a warm room with a fire going, sipping brandies and looking out to the snow-clad mountains, didn’t sound half bad for even a brief getaway.

  “You know what?” He leaned against the sofa back and gazed at his man. Dave reached out and unconsciously ran his hand over Jamie’s cheek. “I think we should. Do you think we can get a reservation this late, though?”

  Dave smiled sheepishly. “It’s already done. I made them weeks ago. We can go next week after Christmas.”

  Jamie slapped the man’s shoulder. “You devil! You knew I’d say yes.”

  “I was hoping you would. We could really use the break. And no offense to your friends because they’re all great, but I’d like some alone time. Just with you.”

  “Awwww. Gosh, all you had to do was say that.” He let Dave bring him in for another kiss. “But you can’t disparage Skyler. If it wasn’t for him we never would have met.”

  Dave lifted his beer glass. “Here’s to the Skyler Fuck Club.”

  Jamie grabbed his nearly empty martini glass and clinked it to Dave’s. “To the Fuck Club. Long may it wave!”

  WHILE VISIONS OF

  SUGAR PLUMS

  THE PRESENTS HAD ALL BEEN UNWRAPPED; the turkey had been eaten; his friends had celebrated with him with laughter, love, and more gifts than any of them should have bought. In short, another Christmas had come and gone, and after everyone had left and only he and Keith remained, Skyler realized that he had had perhaps a little too much Christmas cheer and things were getting blurry and his speech sounded a bit slurred even to his ears.

  He was lying back on the bed and humming an off-key Christmas tune to himself while he listened to the homey sound
s of Keith moving about in the other room, locking the front door, shutting off lights, closing the glass doors to the fireplace. It was a most pleasant feeling to know Keith was out there taking care of things, making sure Skyler was safe and secure. His heart swelled with love and when Keith finally passed through the doorway into the bedroom Skyler sat up, rested back on his elbows, and smiled. “I really love you, you know.”

  Keith chuckled and grabbed Fishbreath their fat tabby cat from the bed and gently scooted him out the bedroom before he closed the door. “And I really love you, too, Skyler.” He moved toward the closet and began taking off his clothes. “Aren’t you getting undressed, babe?”

  “Yeah, okay.” Skyler sat all the way up and toed off his shoes. He grabbed his sweater and tried to pull it off over his head but got it stuck. “Keith? A little help here?”

  A shadow passed through the knitting and Skyler felt hands grab the sweater and pull it off the rest of the way—nearly taking his nose with it.

  “You okay there, Skyler?”

  “Yeah, fine, fine.” He scrabbled at his belt, managed to unbuckle it, and slid off his trousers. They caught on his sock-covered feet but he shook each foot repeatedly like a swimmer doing the crawl until they finally dislodged and fell to the floor. He dug his fingers into the waistband of his underwear and slipped them off, tossing them over the side of the bed. He slid back, scooting over the duvet until he reached the head of the bed and lounged against the pillows.

  “Are we gonna fuck?”

  Keith stuck his head out of the closet. All he had on was a pair of black underwear. “Uh…I don’t think so.”

  Skyler snapped to attention. “Why not?”

  “Because you’re drunk as a skunk, my friend.”

  “So?”

  His underwear finally divested, Keith switched off the light in the walk-in closet and turned to his partner. “Because I don’t have sex with drunk people.”

  Skyler blinked. “What? Oh come on.”