Christmas at Willowmere

by Abigail Gordon

  ‘Shall we say six o’clock? I always prepare the evening meal for the four of us and James comes up as soon as the late surgery is over. The children go to bed at half past seven, which gives time for their meal to settle.’

  ‘Six o’clock it is,’ he said trying to conceal the pleasure it was giving him in saying it.

  There was a light on at Bracken House when she got back and she stopped off before going to her own place. She found James still up and told him, ‘I’ve done as you said and invited Glenn to eat with us tomorrow night.’

  ‘Good,’ he said, looking up from the paperwork in front of him. ‘I look forward to meeting him.’

  Now that she’d extended the invitation, Anna wasn’t sure that she’d done the right thing. Was it a good idea to get so chummy when he would be leaving so soon? Yet why not make the most of every moment? The time they spent together would be something to hold onto when he’d gone.

  The next morning at the surgery Beth said, ‘The bush telegraph has been buzzing. Who was the handsome guy you were with in The Pheasant last night?’

  Anna smiled. It was a fact that not much went unnoticed in Willowmere. It was a close-knit community. Some of the people had lived there all their lives, as their fathers had before them.

  ‘It was just a friend from my university days,’ she explained as they called in the first of those waiting to be seen.

  Sam Gibson had been passed on to them to have blood taken to assess sugar levels by Georgina Adams, the other full-time doctor in the practice, and he was not happy when he saw the needle.

  ‘It won’t take a second, Sam,’ Anna told him. ‘Look the other way.’

  He was a farmer from the outskirts of the village, a big burly fellow afraid of nothing except the needle, so it seemed.

  ‘Don’t tell my Dorothy that I was scared of the needle, will you?’ he said sheepishly as he rolled his sleeve back down. ‘I kid her about being afraid of spiders, so she’ll never let it drop if she finds out.’

  Smiling, she showed him out then ushered in her next patient, a young girl with a urine infection who James wanted a sample from. And so the morning progressed, though Anna was still gripped by the feeling of unreality that had been there ever since she’d seen Glenn outside the school.

  In a spare moment between patients she wondered wryly what people would think if they knew that she’d once been going to marry the man she’d been seen with in The Pheasant. That she’d been crazy not to?

  As Anna prepared the meal that evening she was acutely aware that Glenn was going to be seated across the table from her, with James and the children looking on curiously at the stranger in their midst.

  She was tempted to get out the best china and then decided not to as she didn’t want him to read anything into the invitation that wasn’t there. It was a Wednesday and they always had chicken casserole for first course and sticky toffee pudding for dessert, and knowing that the children would be disappointed if those things weren’t on offer, she stayed with the usual menu and hoped that it would appeal to their guest.

  When they’d met outside the school yesterday Glenn had been wearing a thick jacket over a black sweater and jeans, and she surmised that he might be feeling the cold after being in warmer climates for so long.

  But when he rang the doorbell at six o’clock and she opened the door to him with the children, one on either side of her, Anna saw that he’d changed into lighter clothing in the form of a smart suit with shirt and tie.

  At once she wished that she had got out the best china, that her face wasn’t flushed from the heat of the oven, and that she’d found time to dress in something that didn’t detract from her appearance of the night before. Yet did it matter? Glenn was going to be just a ship that passed in the night. It was amazing that he’d actually taken the trouble to seek her out.

  ‘Hello again,’ he said, and with a smile for the children as she stepped back to let him in, he added, ‘I hope I’m not too early.’

  ‘No, of course not,’ she told him. ‘James isn’t here yet, so can I offer you a drink before we eat?”

  He wasn’t looking so drawn, she thought as she showed him into the sitting room. Maybe he’d spent the day relaxing. She wasn’t to know that his less drawn expression was due more to the relief of having crossed the first hurdle in getting to know her again.

  While the children played with their toys and the two adults drank a pre-dinner sherry, Glenn said, with his gaze on Pollyanna and Jolyon, ‘We’ve both moved on since we last saw each other, haven’t we, Anna?’

  ‘I would describe my life more as moving sideways rather than on,’ she commented whimsically. To avoid getting into deep water again, she went on, ‘What are you going to do if you don’t go back to Africa straight away?’

  ‘I haven’t made up my mind yet,’ he told her, and was prevented from saying more by the appearance of James.

  When they’d been introduced Anna left the two men chatting while she went into the kitchen to serve the meal. The children followed and, remembering how she’d told them that the visitor was a friend of hers from when she was learning to be a nurse, Polly, who was usually the spokeswoman for the two of them, asked, ‘Is that why Dr. Hamilton has come to see us?’

  ‘Yes. He’s visiting people he used to know and I was one of them.’ Remembering their brief reunion outside the school the day before, when he hadn’t shown any reaction to her comment about the way they’d parted, she was wondering why he’d included her on his list.

  ‘Has he been where there are crocodiles?’ Jolyon wanted to know.

  He was the quieter of the two, and a solemn child, considering her pet name for him, but he usually came up with something imaginative when he made the effort.

  ‘I don’t know,’ she replied. ‘Why don’t you ask him?’

  ‘Yes. I will,’ he promised.

  ‘You have two captivating children,’ Glenn told James as they seated themselves around the table. Jolyon had just asked his question and his eyes had widened as Glenn had explained that there had been crocodiles in some of the places where he’d worked, but as they spent a lot of time in the water he hadn’t seen much of them.

  ‘We think so, don’t we, Anna?’ James said with an affectionate glance at his sister. ‘When my wife died, leaving me with two young babies, Anna was a huge help, but it concerns me that she gets so little time to herself. And I’m sure that other people who know her feel the same.’

  ‘Don’t do this to me, James,’ Anna was begging silently. Don’t describe me as someone to be sorry for. Not in front of Glenn. He will soon be going back to where he came from and that is how it has to be.

  Silence had fallen over the room and after a moment she said, ‘How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t mind, James? The children are everything to me.’

  And if that isn’t telling me straight to go back to where I’ve come from, I don’t know what is, Glenn thought grimly.

  But James had been observing Anna and Glenn. He sensed an awareness of each other that they were trying to conceal, and he asked casually, ‘So what are you planning to do in the near future, Glenn? Have a rest until you go back? Or look for a position over here for a while?’

  ‘I want to work in the UK for a change,’ he told him, ‘to recharge my batteries. I’ve no immediate plans to go back at the moment. I wouldn’t mind some general practice work. The sort of thing you do. I have been working in surgeries of a kind for the last few years. They were ill-equipped places, but surgeries nevertheless.’

  James nodded but made no comment, and once the meal was over and the children were yawning he said, ‘If you’ll excuse me, I’ll take the children up to bed and leave you and Anna to continue getting reacquainted.’

  Pollyanna and Jolyon said goodnight and silence returned once they’d gone, hanging over Anna and Glen like a cloud of uncertainty until he said, ‘James seems concerned about you.’

  ‘Yes, I know, but he doesn’t need to be. I�
��m fine,’ she said breezily. ‘I’d rather we talked about you than me. You must have lots to tell about what you’ve been doing.’

  He wanted to talk about them, not Africa, and said, ‘Some other time maybe?’

  ‘What other time?’ she questioned. ‘You’ll be leaving soon.’

  ‘That is, or was, my intention,’ he said, and she wondered what that was supposed to mean. The answer was in what he said next. ‘It is a joy to come to somewhere like this, where it’s cold, crisp and clean.’

  ‘You mean to say that you’re thinking of extending your visit?’ she asked, not sure where this was leading. ‘The snow will be gone in a couple of days, you know, it’s very early. January to March is when we get the really heavy falls, and how will you occupy yourself in the countryside in wintertime?’

  She couldn’t believe she was trying to dissuade him from staying longer when she hadn’t seen him in years. But she had something to hide and the longer Glenn was around the more likely it was that he might find out. Although the only people who knew about it were James and herself, and he would never discuss her private affairs with anyone.

  ‘Are you by any chance hinting that you would like to see me gone?’ he asked dryly, and she felt the colour rise in her cheeks.

  ‘No, of course not,’ she told him hurriedly. ‘You must do what is best for yourself.’

  Was she out of her mind, she thought, trying to persuade him to leave when he was inclined to linger? She might never see him again after this, but nothing had changed, had it? If he’d come back hoping she might have changed her mind about their relationship, she still couldn’t give him a child and nothing was going to alter that.

  Yet she had found a degree of contentment in her life and needed to hang onto it. Would she be able to do that with Glenn in Willowmere?

  At that moment James appeared to say that the children were asleep and would Glenn like to see the surgery? He was on his feet in an instant, commenting that he would be most interested to see how a country practice functioned.

  ‘It functions very well,’ she told him coolly. ‘You will be amazed.’

  When they came back Glenn was smiling. ‘Very impressive,’ he said with a gleam in his eye that told her he’d got the message. ‘Especially the computer centre in the basement, where the practice manager keeps her finger on the pulse. And now, if you will excuse me, I’ll head off back to The Pheasant. I know you both lead very busy lives, and I don’t think entertaining would normally be on the agenda on a weekday evening, so I’ll say goodnight.’ He turned to James and shook his hand. ‘It’s been a pleasure to meet you and your children, James.’

  It was the same as the night before. Anna didn’t want them to have to separate and on the spur of the moment she said, ‘James has given you the guided tour of the surgery that I promised, but if you like I’ll show you some of the village beneath a full moon. Willowmere covered in snow in the moonlight is something to see.’

  ‘I’d like that,’ he said, taken aback, and when she’d grabbed a coat and put boots on they went outside. ‘Are you trying to confuse me, Anna?’ he asked as they walked down the path. ‘One moment you are hastening me on my way and the next you are dangling your beautiful village in front of me like a carrot, and considering that it’s called Willowmere, I can’t see any willow trees at a glance.’

  ‘You won’t,’ she told him. ‘Not here anyway, but on the edge of the village at the foot of the peaks there is a lake and they are there in profusion. From Willow Lake came Willowmere many years ago when people began to move into the area around it, and once you’ve seen the lake you will know why they came. The trees may be short of a few leaves at this time of year, but they’re never bare, and it’s a beautiful place no matter what the season.’

  ‘Hmm, it sounds like it. Why don’t you and the children show it to me tomorrow after school is over? If it isn’t too far, we might get there before the light goes and then we could go for afternoon tea somewhere. I’ll call for you.’

  ‘Oh…yes, all right,’ she agreed, taken unawares by the suggestion, yet it did have its appeal. It would give her the opportunity to show Glenn some of the reasons why she loved this place and Willow Lake was high on the list. Though she would rather have taken him there on a spring day, or in summer when the weeping willows hung over the water in an abundance of fresh greenery.

  But Glenn wouldn’t be around then and she didn’t want to think about that, even though his arrival was like having a wound that had healed open up again.

  As they strolled along the main street with its quaint shops and onto the bridge that spanned the river he asked, ‘Are there any eating places around here that would be open and suitable to take the children to at this time of the year?’

  She nodded. ‘Yes. There’s the very place, over there. The Hollyhocks Tea Rooms, a couple of doors away from the post office. They’re open all year round and the food is always good. The owners of the place are friends of mine.’

  ‘So the Hollyhocks Tea Rooms it shall be,’ he said, ‘where Cheshire cheese and Lancashire hotpot will, no doubt, be on the menu as we aren’t far from where the two counties meet.’

  ‘And what’s wrong with that?’ she asked, sending him a look as the moon scudded behind a cloud and they were left in cold, velvet darkness.

  ‘I didn’t say there was anything wrong,’ he replied hastily, hiding a smile. Then he saw the teasing sparkle in her eyes.

  ‘You know we still have the stocks in the village for those who misbehave,’ she joked, ‘and we pelt them with rotten eggs. So beware!’

  ‘What?’ he exclaimed in assumed horror. ‘I would have thought a place as perfect as this would only be able to lay its hands on fresh free-range chuckies.’

  As they laughed together it was like the old days for a moment. They’d been happy and carefree when they’d first met. In a moment of weakness Anna wished they could go back to those early days.

  ‘What are you thinking?’ he asked, observing the change in her expression.

  ‘Nothing,’ she said flatly. ‘I was just remembering, that’s all.’

  ‘So you’ve not forgotten how it used to be?’

  ‘No. Of course I haven’t! Have you?’

  ‘No. I haven’t forgotten either,’ he told her, and could have gone on to remind her that during their last year at university all his hopes and dreams had been formed and she had demolished them with just a few words. But what was the point? It had all been long ago…

  ‘We’ve both missed out on many things since then,’ he said gravely, ‘and I still don’t know why.’

  At that moment the moon appeared again and he saw her expression in its light. ‘What?’ he asked. ‘What’s wrong, Anna?’

  ‘Nothing,’ she said quickly. Desperate to lighten the moment, she pointed to an ancient stone building beside the river. ‘That’s an old water mill. It isn’t used now, of course, but it’s a favourite with local artists.’

  ‘I can imagine it would be,’ he said absently, still concerned about how she’d looked a moment ago. But it was clear that she wasn’t going to tell him what was wrong so he said easily, ‘I seem to have seen quite a few things tonight, but one thing you haven’t shown me is where you live. When do I get to see that? I’d like to be able to picture you there when I’ve gone.’

  ‘Another time maybe,” she promised. ‘I’ll show you round some time, but I think maybe we should call it a day now.’

  She was feeling too emotional to take him into her smart little dwelling. Outside in the cold it wasn’t hard to keep at a distance but in a more confined space she couldn’t guarantee anything.

  When she arrived home James was on the point of putting the ironing board away and on the kitchen table was a neat pile of newly ironed laundry.

  ‘You didn’t have to do that,’ she protested.

  ‘I know,’ he replied. ‘Just the same as you don’t have to look after me and mine, but you do.’ He observed her keenly. ‘I like
d Glenn. It takes some guts to do what he’s been doing.’

  ‘Yes, it does,’ she agreed, and wondered what was coming next.

  ‘How would you feel if I offered him a temporary locum position in the practice until he’s decided what he wants to do permanently?’ he asked, choosing his words carefully. ‘I feel he could be just what we need if he agrees. I will have to consult Georgina, of course, though I can’t see her objecting to more help around the place. It’s what you think of the idea that I’m most concerned about. Would you want him living in the village, working in the practice, back in your life to some degree?’

  Anna was gazing at him open-mouthed. ‘I know you’ve been thinking of employing a locum for some time,’ she croaked, ‘but Glenn! You hardly know him.’

  ‘That may be true,’ James pointed out equably, ‘but you know him so it will depend on what you say whether I offer him the position.’

  She took a deep breath. Was this the moment to tell James just how close she and Glenn had once been? That he had once been the love of her life, but because she couldn’t give him children she had sent him away?

  Or was it the time to burden herself with another secret, this time kept from James, and let him go on thinking she and Glenn were just casual friends? Otherwise he would be devastated to know just how much the operation had ruined her life and it might show through when he was in Glenn’s company. It didn’t seem as if there was much of a choice.

  She took a deep breath. ‘You are putting me on the spot, asking me to give my opinion. Glenn and I were close once but we drifted apart, like students do, and as you know I haven’t seen him in a long time. But I can tell you one thing with regard to how good a doctor he will be. I have a very clear picture of that. I’m confident that you would find him extremely capable and caring. He would be an asset to the practice. Glenn sailed through every exam and was top of his year at university.

  ‘We would be fortunate to have him on board and I would say go for it if that is what you want. But don’t expect anything to change as far as I’m concerned. My life is mapped out and I don’t anticipate taking any side turnings. Just so you know, he’s offered to take the children and me to the Hollyhocks Tea Rooms tomorrow afternoon after I’ve shown him the lake. But before you get any crazy ideas, we’ve no plans to socialise after that.’