Only Love

by Wisdom, Linda

  Kali didn’t feel very secure behind the closed bedroom door, even though she doubted Travis would enter the room without an invitation. Still, she suspected she wasn’t going to have an easy night. His arrival had stirred up painful memories, and she feared a recurrence of the fitful nights she’d experienced the first year after the kidnapping. Then she had been plagued by nightmares of Cheryl coming to some harm. It had taken her a long time to come to terms with what had happened—that her daughter was gone, stolen from her. All the while she worked hard to contain the pain inside her, pushing it far from the surface. She didn’t cry as often anymore; she could finally eat a meal without becoming violently ill; and, most of all, she discovered she could go on living and praying for the day her daughter would be returned to her. She never gave up looking for Cheryl because she always felt in her heart she would get her back. And if Blayne ever showed his face again, Kali would take the rock salt out of her gun and replace it with the real thing!

  She undressed and curled up in bed even though her usual bedtime hour was a few hours off. Better to be alone in her bedroom than listening to Travis’s all too sexy voice. It disturbed her to find him so appealing when all she truly wanted to do was order him from her house and return to her self-imposed solitude.

  Funny, for the first seventeen years of her life Kali had thought of nothing but escaping Newton’s Gap. Her mother ran away when Kali was five, and she honestly couldn’t blame her. Kali’s father felt the best way to prove who was in charge was to physically beat his opponent. Kali was free from him only when she was in school or clerking at the general store.

  It was while leafing through fashion magazines during the slow hours at work that she thought about working as a model. When she once mentioned her dream to her father, he slapped her across the face and informed her that only sluts worked as models, and she’d be better off getting married and doing something proper with her life. Kali never mentioned her dreams again, but she knew she couldn’t go along with her father’s plans for her. Three weeks after her high-school graduation, and four days after her seventeenth birthday, she ran away with her boyfriend, Harold Gresham, who aspired to be an actor, and the pair hitchhiked their way to L.A.

  She found a lot of openings for waitresses and sales-clerks in the glitzy town, but very few for models unless she cared to pose in the nude. She was flatly informed that a model’s career usually began in New York, and besides, she’d never make it as one. She just wasn’t what they were looking for. But that didn’t stop Kali from seeing one agent after another, until one woman saw something special in her and took her under her wing. The first change made was Kali’s name; Calliope Sue Howard became Kali Hughes. Harold had already known his name wouldn’t look impressive in print, and changed it to Blayne Savage because he thought it sounded sexy. At the same time he decided his career just might be better off if he didn’t have any ties, meaning Kali would have to go. But around that time Kali was chosen for a swim-suit ad, and the manufacturer began to ask for her on a steady basis. With her growing popularity, Blayne just as quickly changed his mind and told her he thought they should get married as soon possible. Within a few weeks they were the picture of the perfect couple.

  From the beginning Kali learned that fashion modeling was a lot of hard work, but that didn’t deter her. She was used to hard work, and what made it worthwhile was that this time she was doing something for herself. At first she went along with Blayne’s suggestion that they not have children right away, even though she wanted it all, a house, a career, children. She held off, knowing they had to settle in as a married couple before starting a family. Cheryl turned out to be a happy accident as far as Kali was concerned. While Blayne would have preferred Kali to have had an abortion, she insisted on going through with the pregnancy. Loud and vicious arguments echoed through their house for months afterward. Still, she remained stubborn about having the baby and, after a remarkably short and uneventful delivery, was blessed with a healthy baby girl who was the apple of her mother’s eye.

  Kali’s eyes filled with tears. She loved Cheryl so much. The little girl had always been her weak point, and when Blayne decided to exact vengeance, he knew exactly where to hit her—where it would hurt the most. She rolled over and punched the pillow, wishing it were Blayne’s pretty-boy face. At the same time she cursed Travis Yates for barging in and bringing the past back to torture her.

  Curled up on her side, she could see the shadowy figures of two stuffed animals sitting on the edge of the dresser: one a sleepy-faced lavender dragon with outstretched wings and a lopsided pink tongue; the other a brown teddy bear with one of the saddest faces she had ever seen. A sad face that many days matched her own. They’d been Cheryl’s favorite toys, and she’d always refused to go to sleep without them beside her. Unfortunately Blayne hadn’t taken them along when he snatched Cheryl, and Kali wondered how the little girl got to sleep without her beloved toys. When Kali escaped from L.A., she had left everything pertaining to her life there except for those two animals. To her they were a reminder that the day would come when their owner would return to claim them.

  During the day they sat in the middle of Kali’s bed, and at night they graced her dresser where she could see them if she woke up in the middle of the night. They always brought such a clear picture of the little girl to her mind. How Kali loved her! And she’d felt that she was a good mother, always making sure she took time to listen to Cheryl’s tales from preschool, trying to be with her and comfort her when she was sick in bed. Many times her schedule had been hectic, but when possible, Kali took Cheryl with her. With Jenny there to help look after the small girl, Kali never worried. Blayne never bothered spending any of his free time with Cheryl, his excuse being that he was better around the older girls.

  Yet he had kidnapped Cheryl and kept her with him all these years without a word to Kali. She would have paid any amount of money to get her daughter back. But Blayne allowed her to beg, and he kept on the run to continue punishing her for divorcing him. He hadn’t been a faithful husband, but he enjoyed the idea of keeping his other women at bay with the mention of his wife.

  She was so afraid that Cheryl wouldn’t remember her after all this time. She had been so little when she was taken. Tears pricked Kali’s eyelids. She didn’t want to relive her pain right now, and it wasn’t fair that she had to. She rolled over onto her other side so she couldn’t see those lonely stuffed animals. Toys that were as neglected as she was.

  The rain slowed to a steady drizzle, and the clock read just past three o’clock when Kali finally fell into an uneasy sleep.

  It took a bit of searching, but Travis finally found bed linens stored in a cedar chest in a corner of the loft. He made up the bed, and after grabbing a book out of his duffel bag and shucking his clothing, he climbed under the covers.

  Trouble was, he didn’t have reading on his mind. Not when he wanted to think about Kali Hughes. There were times when he was sorely tempted to shake some sense into her, but that feeling was quickly squelched when he saw the pain in her eyes. It had been more than two years, and she was still hurting from the hell her ex-husband had put her through. How many women could have endured what Kali went through and still retained some remnants of sanity?

  He knew she didn’t want him there, but that wasn’t going to stop him from imposing on her. He climbed out of bed and walked over to the window overlooking the front of the cabin. There was only a little moonlight, and from what he could see, the hilly road leading to the main road was washed out.

  A slow smile lit up his harsh features. It appeared the lady wasn’t going to get rid of him as easily as she hoped to. With that cheerful thought he returned to bed and his book.

  Travis couldn’t imagine a better way to wake up than to the homey aroma of bacon cooking, and coffee brewing. He pulled on his jeans and made his way down to the bathroom for a quick shower and change of clothing before heading for the kitchen. He walked in with a huge grin on his face, his
mouth watering at the thought of a huge breakfast.

  “Good morning,” he said, greeting Kali cheerfully.

  She looked up from the magazine in front of her, barely nodded her head, and returned to her reading.

  Travis took in the spring-patterned stoneware plate filled with two eggs, sunny-side up, two crisp slices of bacon, one English muffin liberally covered with butter, a glass of juice, and a cup of coffee. Two frying pans, recently rinsed, were stacked in the sink.

  He wanted to laugh out loud. The little witch had fixed just enough breakfast for one person! Even the coffee maker was empty, showing that she’d gone to the trouble of preparing only the one cup.

  “I see you’re already eating,” Travis ventured, hoping she would take pity on him. “Sorry I overslept. It was probably all that fresh mountain air.”

  Kali’s gaze was cool. “If you want breakfast cooked for you, I suggest you visit your mother. This isn’t a bed-and-breakfast inn.”

  Travis chuckled. “If you had ever tasted my mom’s cooking, you wouldn’t say that. All of us were grateful my dad was a good cook. Mom is the only woman I know who can’t even boil water.”

  Kali lifted an arched eyebrow, silently indicating that she could care less about his mother’s culinary habits.

  Travis sighed and headed for the coffee maker. Like his mother, he couldn’t cook worth a damn, but he had learned to make a decent cup of coffee out of sheer necessity.

  Kali finished her breakfast, picked up her dishes, and carried them over to the sink to wash and put them away. Travis looked her over, noticing she wore red socks with white hearts on them, and no shoes.

  Someone who wore such whimsical socks couldn’t be all bad, he decided while rummaging through the refrigerator.

  “Don’t forget to clean up when you’re finished,” Kali tossed over her shoulder as she headed for the laundry room. There, she pulled on a pair of mud-encrusted boots and a faded denim jacket.

  Travis guessed she was going to check on her horses, although she didn’t bother to volunteer any information. From the look of it, she probably hadn’t slept well the night before. He could see the signs of tension in her demeanor. Her knuckles had been white as they clutched the coffee cup, her mouth taut, her eyes shadowed with strain. He had a pretty good idea his presence was getting to her.

  Outside, Kali first walked around to the front of the cabin to check the road. Road, that was a joke; right now it was more like a sea of mud.

  Damn! Wouldn’t she ever get rid of him? If she weren’t so angry, she’d sit down and have a good long cry.

  Kali didn’t want Travis there. Travis in his skintight jeans, boots, and shoulder-hugging shirt. Why did he have to be so damn sexy? She fumed, walking around back to the barn. Why does he have to smell so fresh, like the earth after a spring rain? Why does he have to look like the devil himself but be so gentle that a woman couldn’t help falling under his spell? After all, she should know.

  She pushed open the barn door and stepped inside, halting to press her hands against her mouth to stifle the sobs welling up in her throat.

  For the past two years she had taught herself not to feel. She had refused to allow any emotion to enter her life, whether it was joy or pain. That was the way she lived her life, and if it hadn’t been for Travis Yates barging so unceremoniously into her life, she could have continued living that way as long as possible. In the space of one night he had begun altering her life, and she hated him for that. She had been a bitch toward him and she wouldn’t deny it. But it was so much easier to hate him than fall for his good-old-boy charm. To fall the way she had years ago.

  She took deep breaths to calm her nerves, inhaling the warm, familiar scent of horseflesh and hay. Stiffening her backbone, she repeated the same words she had recited every morning for the past two years: You ‘re going to be fine, Kali Hughes. No matter what, she intended to keep control of her emotions. Then she began the dirty task of mucking out the stalls and feeding the two horses, intending to stay out of the house for as long as possible.

  Why had Travis come all this way to see her? It was strange, but she dreaded asking him, fearing she wouldn’t like his answer. It would be so much easier if she could throw him and his motorcycle down the hill and be done with him. Naturally it wasn’t that simple. The weather had to go against her and create a sea of mud in her front yard.

  When Kali entered the house two hours later, she felt tired but much calmer. She found Travis sprawled in the easy chair watching television.

  “Hi.” He looked up when she walked into the room. “I didn’t know this movie was out on tape. I saw it when it first came out and thought it was great.”

  “It isn’t out yet,” Kali replied. “Some of Malcolm’s clients are film producers, and they give him tapes of their latest work. He claims he doesn’t have time to watch the news on TV, much less these, so he sends them to me.”

  Travis studied Kali’s features. He had hoped she might have worked out most of her hostility toward him in the barn, and it appeared she had. Today she wore a delft-blue V-necked pullover sweater with a blue-and-rose plaid shirt underneath. He could have believed she was softening toward him if it hadn’t been for her next remark.

  “I suppose you’ll want to be on your way now that the rain has let up.”

  His eyes widened. “With all that mud out there? You’ve got to be kidding. I’ll skid before I get two feet.”

  “So slide down the hill,” she suggested softly.

  Travis’s good nature finally evaporated. “Lady, you’re really something, you know that?” He threw himself out of his chair and paced the floor. “I swear, a vulture has more compassion than you do.”

  “You weren’t invited here!” she retorted. “If it weren’t for all that damn rain yesterday, you’d already be gone. I’d have made sure.”

  He stopped and fixed her with a quelling gaze. “You sure can play the coldhearted bitch, can’t you?”

  Kali was stunned. As long as she’d been able to keep herself on the offense she felt confident, but Travis had very neatly, and cruelly, turned the tables on her.

  “Why are you here?” she demanded. “And please don’t insult me by saying you just happened to be in the neighborhood, because that story won’t wash.”

  Travis uttered a sound of exasperation. “Now she asks me,” he muttered to the ceiling, standing in the middle of the room, his hands folded across his broad chest. He spun around to face Kali.

  She shifted uneasily under his scrutiny, not liking the way his sharp eyes swept over her from the top of her head to her toes, lingering on the rapid rise and fall of her breasts.

  “The reason you’re upset isn’t because you’ve ended up with an uninvited guest but because your precious privacy has been invaded,” he mused. “And I’m the invader.”

  “I don’t know what you mean.” She denied his allegation too hastily and refused to look at him.

  “I think you have just as long a memory as I do,” he continued in a deadly soft voice. “What’s upsetting you is the fact that I’m a reminder of that New Year’s Eve when little Miss Perfect Wife fell off her pedestal. You don’t like to recall that night when you happened to be the seducer instead of the seduced.”

  Kali jumped up and swung her arm around to hit him as hard as she could, but his reflexes were too quick and he grabbed her wrist before her hand slapped his cheek.

  “Don’t try that again,” he warned in a steely voice, tightening his grip just enough to get his message across. “Or I just might forget I was raised to be a gentleman.”

  That didn’t stop her from glaring at him, her eyes glittering with anger and unshed tears.

  “And I thought Blayne was a bastard,” she whispered, finally pulling her wrist free.

  Travis cursed himself for hurting her but knew the truth had to be aired now.

  “Kali, I’m sorry,” he said with a sigh. “It’s just that I came up here to see you, and I was greeted with a sho
tgun between my eyes and treated like a muddy hound dog coming in through the front door after the floors were just washed and waxed. Honey, if I have to fight back every time you get nasty, I’ll use whatever ammunition I can. Besides”—his voice softened—“wouldn’t it be better to bring it out in the open now than to allow it to build between us?”

  “There won’t be time for anything to build between us,” she argued, wishing he wouldn’t stand so close to her, especially since he looked as if he could cheerfully strangle her. “Because you’re going to be out of here in five minutes.”

  Travis’s slow smile signified pure danger. “Think so?” he inquired lazily, stepping even closer until they stood practically nose to nose. Kali tried to retreat, but Travis’s grip on her arm prevented any escape. “Then maybe we should just get everything out in the open before I leave.”

  His casual suggestion left her suspicious, especially if he was thinking about the same thing she was.

  “You’re blaming me for something that wasn’t my fault, Kali,” he reminded her in a harsh voice. “I wasn’t the one who approached you that night; you came on to me. In a pretty explicit way too. But you don’t want to remember it happening that way, do you? You want to keep yourself Lily-pure and remain the innocent victim when you weren’t. You were hurt and you wanted to hurt him back, although that bastard probably could have cared less what you did as long as it didn’t interfere with his own fun and games.”

  He was right. Even if she didn’t want to remember what had occurred that night, it still had to be aired between them. She just didn’t feel now was the right time—but that didn’t stop Travis from continuing.

  “The way I heard it, Blayne celebrated most of that New Year’s Eve with a little blond starlet in one of the guest rooms,” he went on ruthlessly. “Rumor has it that you walked in on them.”

  Kali turned away, feeling her face burn with humiliation. How carefully she had worked to keep up the facade that their marriage was the kind dreams were made of, even after her shattering realization that not all was as it should be. She had been so naive back then! How many nights had she convinced herself that Blayne was working late when he actually had been shacked up with some young actress?