Only Love

by Wisdom, Linda

  His slow smile was almost her undoing. It was amazing how just a slight twist of facial muscles could turn her knees to jelly. He grasped the back of her neck with his hand and pulled her into the comforting pillow of his chest.

  “Oh, Kali, I never looked at the woman in the magazines or the eternal smiler at parties,” he explained quietly, moving his lips over the soft cloud of hair. “I looked at the woman behind the glossy pages, and I liked what I saw. The woman I saw that night is the one I wanted.”

  She was stunned by his revelation that he had wanted her then. “But I was married. I had a child.”

  “For the first time it didn’t matter to me that a woman was married, and believe me, I have my standards. I never have had the slightest leaning toward a married woman until I met you.” He smiled faintly. “You, Kali Hughes, were different.”

  “I never knew,” she whispered, at a loss for words.

  A shadow crossed over his face. “You weren’t supposed to,” he muttered, suddenly turning away from her. “Well, now I’ve poured my guts out to you, so you can have your laugh or put on ladylike airs, ‘cause you wouldn’t want to be caught with a man like me. A man with a few things in his past that he’d rather forget, and a bunch of friends who have police records as long as your pretty arm. Why did I bother coming to ask you to pose for me when you’d be better off not having me around?”

  Kali was startled at his sudden vulnerability. He had always seemed so sure of himself, so determined to get what he wanted. Could it be that he felt a bit uncertain around her and now regretted admitting how he felt?

  “Travis,” she said softly, laying her hand on his arm, “you’re right, I have been hiding my head in the sand. I admit I’m still not sure I want to pose for your book, but I’d be willing to do anything else to help you work on it.”

  “Posing would help me,” he said, countering.

  She shook her head. “The hurt is still here. I honestly would prefer staying out of the limelight.”

  “That’s running away again,” he said, arguing.

  Kali smiled sadly. “No, it’s playing it smart. Right now I don’t feel confident enough to return to L.A. and the fast lane.” Her voice was so soft, he barely heard the words, but he did hear the pain beneath and he understood. Deep down he felt Kali wouldn’t be free of the past until she returned to L.A. and confronted her fears. And he hated the thought of her sitting out her days in this lonely cabin when she should be living a much fuller life among other people.

  “You can’t keep your hideaway a secret forever,” he warned, knowing she would expect at least a token argument.

  Kali shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not.” She walked over to one of the horses and picked up a currycomb. “But I can’t worry about it now.”

  Travis followed her and plucked the comb out of her hand. Keeping hold of her fingers, he led her out of the barn. “Come on, I’m starving—and I’m sure you are, too, since you barely ate anything during lunch.

  Kali had to admit she was feeling a bit hungry, and suggested roast beef sandwiches and clam chowder, then couldn’t help laughing when Travis agreed it was a good start.

  The atmosphere was more relaxed during dinner than it had been at lunch. They washed their food down with beer and tried to top each other with bawdy limericks and stories.

  “Where did you learn all those?” Travis found himself laughing so hard, his eyes were tearing.

  “J. C. has books of them,” she confided before telling another. “Of course, he doesn’t realize I know where he hides them.” She flashed a gleeful grin.

  The more beer they drank, the more uproarious they grew. It was as if the emotional scene in the barn dissipated the tension between them. Before long, both of them were laughing hysterically, until Kali held her hands up in surrender.

  “I give up,” she said, choking, then wiping the tears from her eyes while the other hand was pressed to her aching side. She glanced up at the wall clock, surprised to find that it was after three o’clock in the morning. She couldn’t remember an evening when the time had passed so quickly, and she knew the company had something to do with it. In fact, it had everything to do with it. “I didn’t realize it was so late.” She stood up.

  Travis did the same, then locked the back door while Kali checked the front one.

  “When I grew up here, I couldn’t remember a time when those doors were locked unless my dad wanted to keep the sheriff out,” she said sadly. “But with so many teenagers roaming around with nothing useful to do, it’s become the norm.”

  “And you thought that when you came back here, things would be the same as when you were a kid, but it didn’t happen,” Travis commented.

  She smiled. “Sure, why not? You could trust people then.” She turned to head for her bedroom.

  Travis grasped her arm and gently turned her back around. One hand cupped her chin, tilting it upward. “You can trust me, Calliope Sue Howard,” he said in a voice rough with desire, and something else more heart-stirring. He lowered his head, brushing her lips lightly. Keeping his eyes on hers, he slowly released her chin and stepped back. “Sleep well, Kali. I’ll see you in the morning.” He walked toward the steps leading to the loft.

  Kali remained frozen to her spot, her fingertips touching her lips. For a moment she thought he was going to invite himself into her bed, but she should have known better. Travis wouldn’t need to use any coercion. If a woman wanted him, she’d go after him without a moment’s hesitation. Kali easily could have become one of those women, but memories of past hurts intruded, and she knew she would have to be free before she could go to him.

  Upstairs, Travis listened to the soft sounds of the bedroom door closing, and later bedsprings creaking under a slight weight. He had hoped. God, how he had hoped. But this wasn’t the time. He knew it wouldn’t have taken much to have to persuade her she needed him that night, but he didn’t want to persuade her, he wanted her to want him. And when that time came, they were in for a night of loving they both richly deserved.

  Chapter 7

  Kali woke up the next morning with conflicting feelings after what had happened the night before.

  Let him be gone! her brain pleaded.

  Give me a break. Do you really want him to be gone? her heart countered scornfully.

  Truthfully she should want him gone. During this time he had wheedled his way into her emotions and forced her to reevaluate the reclusive way she had been living. How many times had J. C. suggested she invite a friend out for a visit so she wouldn’t be alone all the time, or that she indulge in some traveling? Perhaps she should have listened to him instead of wallowing in her misery for so long. The truth struck her like a hard blow.

  Was that what she had been doing for the past three years? Had she been crucifying herself for having a failed marriage and losing her daughter instead of reconstructing her life the way she had been telling herself to do? Had she been lying to herself all this time? The answer was an unqualified yes.

  It took her longer than usual to shower and dress. She walked into the kitchen and found only silence.

  He was gone, after all. Her shoulders slumped and her steps slowed. Well, her wish had come true, so why wasn’t she relieved?

  “He could have at least said goodbye,” she muttered.

  Kali might have thrown herself into a blue funk if she hadn’t found the note on the table, anchored by the salt shaker.

  Had to make a quick trip into town.

  Be back by lunchtime.

  Travis

  She was grateful he wasn’t there to hear her sigh of relief. She noticed the coffeepot sitting smugly on the counter, and was thankful he had left her her much-needed caffeine. Not feeling very hungry, she settled for an apple with her coffee and proceeded to strip the sheets from her bed and throw them into the washer. With Travis gone, she decided it was a perfect time to clean the loft.

  Funny, Kali hadn’t felt lonely before. In fact, she had welcomed the solitude after
years of living in a virtual fish bowl. But Travis—with his slow, sexy smile; easy drawl; and uncomplicated company—had changed all that. Now she woke up in the morning looking forward to more than a lonely ride through the countryside or driving into town where she sometimes sought out the sound of another human voice. It took Travis to prove to her that not everyone from L.A. was a shark.

  She chuckled to herself. Well, she suspected Travis could be the biggest and meanest shark in the ocean when necessary, but he hadn’t acted that way around her. She would miss him when he left. She was so lost in her thoughts, she didn’t hear the roar of the motorcycle outside. It took the sound of the back door opening and closing to rouse her.

  Kali’s eyes swept over Travis as he entered the house. “Have a nice trip?”

  “Yeah. I wanted to make a couple of phone calls, but the phone at the gas station was out of order, so J. C. let me use his. Didn’t you see my note?”

  She stiffened. What had the garrulous old man told him? Wasn’t she meant to have any secrets?

  Travis watched Kali’s face change as he draped his black leather jacket over the back of a chair. So she figured J. C. had been saying things he shouldn’t, did she? Okay, maybe he had, a little. After all, a taste of moonshine in a cup of ink-black coffee at eight o’clock in the morning would loosen anyone’s tongue. He wasn’t about to tell Kali that, though. He’d prefer to hear it all from her, if she ever trusted him enough to really talk to him the way she had the night of Cheryl’s birthday.

  “It’s a real pretty day outside. What say we go for a ride and you show me some of the countryside?” he suggested.

  Kali didn’t respond as readily as he’d hoped. “The ground’s still kind of spongy.”

  “A little mud never hurt anyone. I’ll even help fix a picnic lunch.”

  Maybe his idea wasn’t so bad, after all, but Kali groaned at the idea of Travis working with any kind of food. “I’ll fix the lunch. That way we won’t have to worry about ptomaine poisoning.”

  “I’ll go change.” Travis headed for the loft to change into a different pair of jeans and boots. When he entered the small bedroom, he couldn’t miss the signs of cleaning and fresh sheets on the bed. Hmm, maybe he was getting to her, after all!

  Within twenty minutes the horses were saddled, and Travis took charge of the saddlebags holding their lunch.

  “What’s in this thing, a seven-course meal?” he said teasingly, hefting the canvas bags in one hand.

  “With the way you eat, I’d need to pack two seven-course meals just so I’d get some too,” she retorted.

  Travis dropped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him, placing a light kiss on the tip of her nose. “If that’s a hint that I eat too much, I would just like to remind you that I’m still a growing boy,” he said gravely, a twinkle in his eyes.

  “And here I thought it was my cooking that prompted all those second and third helpings,” she responded with a playful pout.

  Travis enjoyed Kali’s lighthearted banter. He liked seeing her smile and hearing her laugh, and he especially enjoyed being the one to cause it. He assisted her in mounting up, unable to keep his eyes from the enticing sight of her shapely bottom as she swung herself into the saddle.

  For a split second he pictured her bare skin, pink and flushed from her bath or, more importantly, from his lovemaking. He forced his attention away from the erotic view and headed for his horse, hurriedly mounting and silently cursing the suddenly tight fit of his jeans.

  Following Kali, Travis thought about his morning errands. He wanted to tell her about his phone calls, but he didn’t want to get her hopes up. He remembered J. C. listening unashamedly to the four calls he made and the way the older man smiled broadly when he hung up.

  “Son, I have an idea that if anybody can pull it off, you can,” he told him in his deep voice.

  “Even after all the time and effort already put in by those other P.I.‘s?” Travis said lightly, tucking his telephone credit card back in his wallet.

  J. C. slipped his glasses off, wiped them with his handkerchief, and replaced them on his nose. “You achieve your goals because you don’t believe in playing by the book. I’d say you’re the kind of man to look over a situation with a careful eye and then plow in and accomplish it your own way, come hell or high water.”

  Travis’s eyes had darkened. “How could a man who had supposedly loved her so much hurt her so deeply?”

  The older man sighed. “Men have been hurtin’ her since day one. Her pa always believed the best way to raise a kid was to apply the rod on a regular basis whether they needed it or not. As for her husband, he wasn’t a man, he was still a boy playing grown-up, and not doing too well at it. She made good and he didn’t, so he was going to hurt her where it hurt most, and he sure as hell did that.”

  “Then why did she come back if there were so many bad memories for her here?”

  J. C. shrugged. “She needed the land and the mountains to put her back together. You didn’t see her when she came back. Damn, she was all uptight and couldn’t sleep more than an hour at a time. Food was just somethin’ to pick at. Memories didn’t even come into it. Her pa’s dead and can’t hurt her anymore, so there was no reason why she couldn’t come back. She means to stay here for the rest of her life unless someone is strong enough to pull her out of her hole. That’s why I think if anyone can do it, you can.”

  Travis didn’t feel as positive, but that wasn’t going to stop him from trying. Even as he and Kali rode up the path, he thought over what J. C. had said and wondered just how right he was. Didn’t she have friends she missed? No, she’d said a majority of her friends dropped her after the divorce. Judging from some of the names she’d mentioned, she was better off without them.

  J. C. also had warned him that when it was all over, he would either be lauded as a saint or branded as a devil for interfering in Kali’s business.

  “Just remember, she’s a crack shot with that shotgun of hers,” he told Travis before the younger man left the store.

  “Then it’s a good thing I’m a fast runner.” He grinned, undaunted.

  “What country did you say we were going to?” Travis asked, returning to the present after they had ridden for almost an hour.

  Kali laughed, half turning in her saddle. “Come on, cowboy, don’t tell me you’re feeling a little saddle-sore?”

  “No, but I was beginning to wonder if we had any border guards to sneak past. You didn’t tell me I would need a passport where we’re going.”

  Kali chuckled. “It’s just a little farther up the hill. Don’t worry, the ride is more than worth it.”

  A little farther meant another twenty minutes, but Kali was right, Travis decided as he dismounted. It was more than worth it. The meadow was high up in the mountains, a tiny oasis dotted with heavy green grass and tiny flowers.

  Kali guided her horse to a small nearby stream and allowed him to drink before leading him to a clump of trees, unsaddling and tethering him. Travis did likewise.

  “When I was little, this place used to be my escape from the world,” she explained, taking a blanket from behind her saddle and laying it on the grass. “I’d come up early in the morning after my chores were done, and wouldn’t go home until I absolutely had to.”

  Travis sat in the middle of the blanket and pulled her down next to him. “Tell me,” he urged. “Tell me what your father did to make you run away.”

  Her smile held no joy. While she had hoped never to talk about those days again, she felt the need for him to know. “It was more like what he didn’t do. My mother was a tramp, according to him, so I had to be reared to his idea of a lady. He was going to insure that I didn’t end up like her. When I was fourteen, he dragged me with him over to a neighbor’s farm where he was having one of his cows bred. I wasn’t repulsed by the sight—after all, it was a fact of life on a farm. That night he sat me down and coldly informed me, “Girl, you’re comin’ of age now where boys are gonna c
ome sniffin’ around you like a bull after a cow in heat. If I find out any boy has gotten into your pants, your backside’s goin’ to be whipped raw.” She had imitated the harsh, impersonal voice that must have been her father’s. “I wanted to hate him, but how can you despise someone who tried to raise you the best way he could? I don’t even hate my mother for leaving me with him, but I used to wish she had taken me with her.”

  Travis put his arms around her and pulled her against the comforting warmth of his body. His father had been rough on his sons at times, but only when they needed it, and the Yates boys were well known for doing their fair share of hell-raising. He had a pretty good idea that there was more than the brief synopsis she had just given him, and he wondered when he would hear the rest—or if he ever would. For the first time in his life he wanted to gather a woman in his arms and protect her from all that might hurt her.

  His mustache brushed the top of her ear in a silky caress. “You’re an incredible woman, Calliope Sue Howard.”

  She wrinkled her nose as she leaned farther back against his chest. “Call me Kali and you can say all the nice things you want. Try calling me Calliope again, and I just might pour the wine I brought all over your head.”

  “No wonder those bags were so heavy. What else did you smuggle up here? Tins of Caviar?” He turned her in his arms and nuzzled her throat.

  “That tickles!” Kali laughed, trying to turn her head from the sounds he uttered against her skin, but he refused to let her go just yet. “Travis!” She dug her fingers into his waist and discovered the perfect way to get even.